year in review 104 Comments


Picture from Nechisar National Park located in the North Omo Valley region of southern Ethiopia. Download highres version here.

I have said that I am not much of a believer for the resolution phenomenon, but that didn’t stop bernos blog readers from emailing me to write a post asking readers to list their New Years resolutions.

The year in review, 2007 was worthy in my personal life. In February I mentioned in the bernos press that I would like to resolve two issues that have been lingering in my life; as I had been working on both for about 3 years; …slowly but surely.

This past year was good, the most stable and consistent part of my years, a sign that I am getting older and becoming boringly more consistent. It has its virtues though. The latter 3 months were very hectic as I received stumbling blocks after blocks as I have written.

Women

I did meet a lot of select quality women; a counter to the prevalent woman-to-wine analogy

Women are like fine wine. They all start out sweet, fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind, then turn full-bodied with age, finally going all sour and vinegary and giving nothing but headaches.”

And so I wonder what the heck they are talking about? I am with more faith that older is better. Of course as always I am only talking about Ethiopian women; one thing hasn’t changed though, woman are as unstable and Ethiofused as they were in 2006. In contrast so are men as I found myself in limbo at times.

I did have fun though, so much fun that I realize that I must have wasted a year or so prior to this one past. I do love my Ethiopian woman though; they are interesting, affectionate, beautiful, emotional and quixotic.

On the other hand, some are arrogant, and others betam inconsiderate and selfish. One lady friend told me a story about how a guy responded when she told him that men find her selfish.

All women are selfish, so what is your point?”

And so there is no point to mentioning how inherently selfish some people are.

Just because

I have learned to distinguish between real friends and acquaintances. Just because we had few drinks together, doesn’t mean friends. Just because we dated doesn’t mean we are friends. Just because we have mutual friends doesn’t mean we are friends.

It really is a trust issue though; friendship, relationship, love, etc is a trust issue. How can we surround ourselves with those things if we can’t trust each other? More than ever I find the people around me to be virtuous, with a few exceptions. If we can’t count on someone on a predictable echelon the relationship on platonic or non platonic level is insecure.

In my humble opinion, interaction in the Abesha community on any level; business, friendship, romantic and etc do not work so well because we are all unstable. We are confused, we are inconsiderate, and we are non-chalant. I am not, but generally we are.

I was very upset with the bernos fans this past august because they didn’t stand by me personally when some people where criticizing me for my misgiving, most joined the bandwagon others stood and watched as innocent by standards.

I was in wrong, but it was a great lesson because I saw that most relationships in whatever context where so unstable and not deeply rooted that we would abandon eachother in the tumorous times.

I was in a DC cab for about 30 minutes and the Abesha driver shared his sad story with me. He told me that his wife, kids, family and church abandoned him after he got caught soliciting sex from prostitutes. His picture was put on local TV channel as to embarrass the people that solicit sex.

By comparison, Sen. Larry Craig is still married and his friends and kids still stand by him after he solicits gay sex. And he was a major and respected figure in American politics. This guy was a taxi driver whose wife stopped sleeping with him after he gave her babies.

In other words, “where the fuck is the fucken loyalty?” A church that doesn’t forgive! Hypocrisy 101!

Trust

Trust is a bond based on reliance. Reliance comes with consistency and predictability. The more we know someone the more we trust them. It is a prediction of reliance on an action, based on what one party knows about the other.

With that, a person that knows themselves and knows what they want is more trustworthy because their actions can be predetermined. Since trust is unknown statement that cannot be quantified and in other words is a prediction of the future.

A friend of mine who ended a long term relationship got in another and the girl although very attractive is so rickety and incessant that I asked him how he is able to handle her in a long term bases. He told me that he just waits patiently so that she knows he cares about her. Two months later they broke up and he said she is not marriage material because she had too many mood swings.

I didn’t know mood swings where a cause for breakup but I think what he means was that she was liable to be unsure about things including him making her untrustworthy; therefore unlovable.

104 Responses to “year in review”


  1. 1 Moki

    Nolawi,
    This one reads like a rant of an angry man. I have no idea what your points are.

    Hope this year turns out better.

  2. 2 Anonoymous

    Interesting as always!

    But:
    “This guy was a taxi driver whose wife stopped sleeping with him after he gave her babies.”

    Gave her babies? Like he bought them at the store wrapped them up and handed it to her. Let’s try, after she bore his children… because I think 9 months of carrying each one she is entitled to at least be given the acknowldgement of having given them to him.

    And oh yeah… how typically selfish of her like other women, to stop sleeping with him when he’s been running the streets, soliciting and sleeping(?) with prostitutes and carrying god-knows what kind of diseases. Selfish, selfish, selfish Ethiopian woman this taxi driver’s wife.

    As for your being unable to rely on all your “friends” of the past… mtssss… ayzoh.

  3. 3 Nolawi

    lol what are you guys talking about.. i mostly made positive statements

    demo i was trying to empower not discourage…

  4. 4 Nolawi

    come on what is this taxi driver guy suppose to do when his wife stops sleeping with him… benatachehu keep an open mind read this from tadias

  5. 5 Hidaya

    Hi Nolawi….

    Good article, a bit like Nolawi in retrospect,lol….

    This bit though, are you serious?…the DC cab driver wants loyalty?, what about his loyaty to his family? does he see the betrayal of his family and the embarrasment of his wife and children seeing him on tv for soliciting prostitutes? not to speak of the health risk he must have subjected his wife to?..wow how self centred, it is all self inflicted though isnt it?…the senator guy is just lucky and should be grateful, he could have been the cab driver2. The thing is each family has the right to react how they see fit, the right to be indignant and throw husband and daddy out after he does something like that and the right to choose to forgive, or live it at the very least if that is what the senator’s family did…where is the hypocrisy in all this?

    was in a DC cab for about 30 minutes and the Abesha driver shared his sad story with me. He told me that his wife, kids, family and church abandoned him after he got caught soliciting sex from prostitutes. His picture was put on local TV channel as to embarrass the people that solicit sex.

    By comparison, Sen. Larry Craig is still married and his friends and kids still stand by him after he solicits gay sex. And he was a major and respected figure in American politics. This guy was a taxi driver whose wife stopped sleeping with him after he gave her babies.

    In other words, “where the fuck is the fucken loyalty?” A church that doesn’t forgive! Hypocrisy 101!

    I didn’t know mood swings where a cause for breakup but I think what he means was that she was liable to be unsure about things including him making her untrustworthy; therefore unlovable.

    How does being unsure of things makes one untrustworthy, wont it just make them unsure?..unless of course they were unsure of everything all the time which would still make them unsure really and if he made her feel unlovelable and she was unsure no wonder they broke up…

  6. 6 Nolawi

    The cab driver is wrong for soliciting sex ofcource.. its just that they abandoned him after one mistake,.. what I am saying is attack his action not the man…

    in the same manner attack my idea not me..

    secondly yes if she is unsure, unpredictable then she is untrustworth because you never know how she is going to feel down the road meaning she is unstable.. meaning if I can trust her to be there emotionally in the time of need … then possibly she is not worth the risk of love…

    i hope you ethiofused chicks get what I am saying….

  7. 7 Hidaya

    The cab driver is wrong for soliciting sex ofcource.. its just that they abandoned him after one mistake,.. what I am saying is attack his action not the man…in the same manner attack my idea not me..

    But Nolawi dont you see the cab driver really shouldnt expect loyalty after he has been so disloyal himself to do so would be hypocritical I think like trust loyalty is a two way street. At the very least his family have the right to be angry at him and shouldnt be expected of them to be loyal to him, ..to expect that of them is to add salt to wound..if they choose to be charitable because of blood ties and love also it is their choice but it shouldnt be expected of them they shouldnt be emotionally blackmailed after they have been betrayed…he could get loayalty if his children and wife are forgiving enough, what he shouldnt do is expect it or demand it..

    secondly yes if she is unsure, unpredictable then she is untrustworth because you never know how she is going to feel down the road meaning she is unstable.. meaning if I can trust her to be there emotionally in the time of need … then possibly she is not worth the risk of love…

    i hope you ethiofused chicks get what I am saying….

    First is unsure the same as untrustworthy or unpredictable? ..as far as I know unsure is just what is says on the box..unsure, it doesnt make people ie women or men come to think untrustworthy or unpredictable or unstable, anyway I cant comment on people whose lves I dont know and all this is one sided perspective yes?…

  8. 8 Anonymous

    Excerpt from the Tadias article on Marraige:

    “Having already lost his bargaining power, a husband comes into the marriage knowing and hating to be in a position where he has to rely completely on his wife for sex. When she rations sex, a husband learns that his dear wife is conniving, selfish, mean, but most of all, untrustworthy. He realizes that his wife holds all the cards of intimacy and that she can always put him back in his place. Not as a man but as a husband, he sadly realizes that he cannot rely on her. His trust is broken. ”

    Not having sex is untrustworthy…Their trust is built on sex…So refusing to have sex and “driving” him to get sex elsewhere shows his need for intimacy and shows the wife’s untrustworthiness? So it’s her fault and the taxi driver was forced to solicit a prostitute! He is not the one breaking trust by going outside of the marriage for sex because it’s the selfish woman’s fault for breaking trust by not having sex?

    That’s my deduction for your train of thought… and embayen eskecheres newe yesakut ’cause I know it’s a big joke and you can’t really mean all that. But I guess as a male you are able to relate more to this taxi driver and his misfortune of dealing with this untrusty wife who is faithful but can’t be trusted to provide sex (please make note of the sarcasm here).

  9. 9 Nolawi

    eechi did i connect the trust issue with the taxi cab ende.. i didn’t at all…

    i did say that just because he made a mistake … doesn’t mean that he should be shot…

    anonymous… i didn’t say that his wife is untrusty… i don’t know how you deduced to that conclusion… if you have a point make it… i have…

  10. 10 Anonymous

    [quote comment="114198"]come on what is this taxi driver guy suppose to do when his wife stops sleeping with him… benatachehu keep an open mind read this from tadias[/quote]

    It was a deduction from your reference to the article. Bad assumption…

  11. 11 Hidaya

    Nolawi is this a reply meant for me?…I didnt connect it either though I did say that like trust, loyalty is a two way street..is that connecting them or just pointing out a similarity between the two what are they..virtues?

    eechi did i connect the trust issue with the taxi cab ende.. i didn’t at all…

    i did say that just because he made a mistake … doesn’t mean that he should be shot…

  12. 12 kiki

    Noles,

    Nice post but for the love of god please make a resolution to stop using “ethiofused” in 2008. It just annoys me to no end because it doesn’t mean anything. Can we also stop ascribing all these negative attributes to “Habeshaness.” We are no more untrustworthy, disloyal, inconsiderate, selfish etc… than anybody else out there.

  13. 13 Nolawi

    Anonymous, you seem confused. What is your point? if you have one make otherwise stop wasting my time. For a few months your IP address has been used to make incessant negative comments… about almost everything. If you have a point make it. otherwise no reply necessary.

    Kiki, agreed. i do choose to talk about abesha because i am abesha and live in an abesha culture. Its a subject i chose to speak on and I thought i made a positive comment this time… not a negative one.

    If i was to kiss everyone ass all the time, then noone will read my blogs.

    btw you are always around to jump on the bandwagon… mts

  14. 14 kiki

    In my humble opinion, interaction in the Abesha community on any level; business, friendship, romantic and etc do not work so well because we are all unstable. We are confused, we are inconsiderate, and we are non-chalant. I am not, but generally we are.

    btw you are always around to jump on the bandwagon… mts

    You can’t be serious, can you? It was just my opinion I wasn’t jumping on any bandwagon. I must have read the above statement wrong, I guess. BTW, what I said was WE should stop not just you. We are all guilty of self-deprecation and it is not doing us any good. So mts back at ya.

  15. 15 Grand Ma

    Nolawi,
    “Ethiofused”.. I couldn’t agree with you more. It seems that it’s more Ethio-Washingtonian issues. We may all need to do a soul-searching within us for new year resolution. Please, people admit it, we got problems!!!!!
    …..” he got caught soliciting sex from prostitutes”. What gender?:-) I’m surprised you’re not outraged by his wrong doing, though. What about the consequences to his action like Aids, STD…? Oh, well, at least he’s not stoned so, he’s still living in a very forgiven culture (ha!ha).

  16. 16 Wudnesh

    BeTam interesting article.

    Trust is a bond based on reliance. Reliance comes with consistency and predictability.

    emmm..it definitely makes sense!

    As to the cab driver, I agree with Hidaya; Loyalty is a two way street. He is the one who broke the loyalty bond first. Shouldn’t he be expected to be loyal to his wife and the mother of his kids? How was the church unforgiving? Don’t people have to repent/say sorry to be forgiven?….or did he say they banned him from worshiping at the church? If they did, I agree it’s wrong.
    LOL, ay Nol, zendrom u r at it(August issue)..mts. If I were your friend, I’d have advised you to lighten up…..and not to think of people who disagree with you on some issues as ‘against you’. But then again just because we have mutual friends we are not friends..LOL… :P At least moi likes the fact you are still funny in 2008. Overall, nice article!
    Yimechih! Happy New Year to all of you! Nol, wish you more loyal friends and fans in 2008 :P

  17. 17 chala

    Very nice article. I agree with you on the question of loyalty. This man made a mistake is it so wrong to forgive him? As for the unsure girl thing, if someone says (boy or girl) I am not sure, they should be left alone so they can make up their mind, I bet one year later they are still confused and unsure.

  18. 18 Nani

    Very well written, enjoyed reading it, altho a bit hard to grasp your point. You sort of contradict yourself =
    One question for you tho, if the cab driver you’d been talking about had been the wife, as in if the wife was sleeping with another guy and the husband found out about it what do you think he would have done?
    … Not to be judgmental, but let’s face it our society is not exactly a forgiving kind.

  19. 19 DawitK

    Interesting yet funny article Nolawi. I do agree for the most part except for the part about the taxi driver. As I think it’s a personal choice, if she can forgive and live happily with him great and if she can’t and decide to leave then great for her. At the end of the day she is the one who has to live with the decision to forgive or not; to leave or not…

  20. 20 Chala

    chala at #17 you stole my nick. Anyhow yimechehe…I am out of this place, one of my plans for 2008…avoid some (I have my own list) blogs, which goes in line with using my time wisely. Adios!!!!

  21. 21 Nolawi

    [quote comment="114315"]Very well written, enjoyed reading it, altho a bit hard to grasp your point. You sort of contradict yourself =
    One question for you tho, if the cab driver you’d been talking about had been the wife, as in if the wife was sleeping with another guy and the husband found out about it what do you think he would have done?
    … Not to be judgmental, but let’s face it our society is not exactly a forgiving kind.[/quote]

    I know its hard to forgive…. and maybe if i was in her shoes i may not completely forgive…. but doesn’t mean i will give her to the hyenas either… the point is everything should be forgivable… but not forgetable…

  22. 22 Nolawi

    wudenesh… loyalty is a two way street everyone knows that.. but for whatever reason she stopped sleeping with him…. I bet he didn’t know that that will happen before he married her…. and I bet you are saying that the sexual bond they agreed upon before married is not a form of loyalty…

    i am not saying its ok for him to cheat… but in the words of chris rock I understand

    for god sake clinton got a BJ in the oval office… she is still with him…

  23. 23 Nani

    I think the point also is that they had a life together, a family, you’ve talked to this guy for what a few minutes, right? You only got his side of the story, but even if we’re seeing things from his perspective, shouldn’t making a home for his kids, his family be his top priority? and if you were to consider the wife’s perspective, this kind of decision doesn’t usually come out of a one time incident. This may have been the first time it was known in public, but they probably had issues at home.
    I guess what I’m trying to say is when you have kids, and you decide to leave your husband, you not only have to think about how much embarrassment you have to live with, but a few years down the road, you have to come up with a way to explain to those kids WHY you left this guy. And honestly, he’s probably not the kind father you want your kids to have.

  24. 24 Blabla

    Please, someone explain to me what’s the article about? I started out liking the picture and i got lost. The picture also has not been connected with the story. “Year in review” and then a D.C cab driver’s (Jerry Springer) story? The comments (except #1 & #15) were not helpuful either. I hope, the remaining days would be a happy, and “focus” for you. Peace!

  25. 25 ÜberMan

    DC Cabbie makes maybe 30-40K per year. Sen Craig is worth about 30-40 mil. Is anyone still confused or ethiofused as to why one is divorced & another has the “loving” support of his wife? This is no revelation – just another testimonial to the adage: There is a very THIN line b/w a wife & a street walker & in habesha community that line often gets blurred…

    Hope everyone has a great ’08!

  26. 26 Grand Ma

    Nolawi,

    “for god sake clinton got a BJ in the oval office… she is still with him…”.
    There’s no comparison b/n a US president with an ordinary cab driver on this issue. Bill & Hillary are a public figures and there’s so much in stake. Mind you, a divorced women seeking presidency in US politics. I like your rational positive thoughts, though.

  27. 27 Nolawi

    [quote comment="114613"]Nolawi,

    “for god sake clinton got a BJ in the oval office… she is still with him…”.
    There’s no comparison b/n a US president with an ordinary cab driver on this issue. Bill & Hillary are a public figures and there’s so much in stake. Mind you, a divorced women seeking presidency in US politics. I like your rational positive thoughts, though.[/quote]
    i bet you that the cabbie would say that his life for him has as much stake as anyones

  28. 28 keila

    Really Nol? I am so disappointed!! A. you defend the indefensible B. you generalize way more than is reasonable C. You expect too much out of people……….since when is two months enough for someone to be sure about a relationship…I have contemplated buying an expensive outfit loner- much less such an investment as a relationship. I know it’s unpopular to say chill and wait, but please feel free to stop and think of what you say before you post it. I know you are trying to be inflammatory, but buddy there ought to be some rhythm and reason to how you connect the dots.

  29. 29 mimisha

    Great the cabbies wife refused sex. Why should she accept it? There is many reasons to refuse it. #1 HIV and # 2 his lack of skills in the bedroom. To Ethio ladies in this type of situation meaning you just are grossed out by your loser Abeaha relationships, get yourselves AA boyfriends. I did and all i can say is WOw.
    BTW he did not give her babies he only donated his sperm. She gave him the babies and yet he is ungreatful. She needs to get a non-Abesha boyfriend to satisfy her emotionally and sexually.

  30. 30 lilye

    Great article Nolawi, I get the whole thing and agree with you. I don’t see the confusion nor the negativity of some readers. Maybe it’s too early for me and the first day back at work ! ANYWAY… as for the cabie his church shouldn’t have abandoned him… but it’s got to be very hard for the family.
    Agree too on the Ethiofused part and don’t see why you should not use it. NEGERIN GILTS HONO ENA FIRITRIT ADIRGEW discuss KALADEREGUT WAGA YELEWIM. Sugar coating ayasfeligim. I like you for that and please PLEASE do not change. WA!

  31. 31 Nolawi

    [quote comment="114732"]Really Nol? I am so disappointed!! A. you defend the indefensible B. you generalize way more than is reasonable C. You expect too much out of people……….since when is two months enough for someone to be sure about a relationship…I have contemplated buying an expensive outfit loner- much less such an investment as a relationship. I know it’s unpopular to say chill and wait, but please feel free to stop and think of what you say before you post it. I know you are trying to be inflammatory, but buddy there ought to be some rhythm and reason to how you connect the dots.[/quote]
    you are too slow… then if it takes you 2 months to buy an expensive outfit.

    ayzosh.. I am sure you can find a sugar daddy somewhere

  32. 32 Alazhar

    Of course, the taxi driver made a mistake but why is that HABESHA people do MAGANEN such things! ‘BESEW QUSEL INCHET SIDEDIBET’. To be honest there isn’t such thing as 100 % faithful. For instance, we might be attracted to somebody else even though we’re in a relationship. What is crucial here is to not let ourselves get deeply and emotionally involved in it since we’re in a RELATIONSHIP. Unfortunately the poor driver couldn’t hold back!
    Is it immoral? Yes.
    However what’s the point of avoiding this guy from his family instead of…?
    Most HABESHAS are not keen and humble enough to work hand-in-hand to help our fellows. We lack the habitude of forgiveness and ability to skip over important matters, focusing too much on the pointless. I believe we HABESHAS need to first reflect on our weaknesses and revolutionise our culture toward the better.

  33. 33 Dr. Ethiopia

    Yea very cool post.

  34. 34 emebet

    I was very upset with the bernos fans this past august because they didn’t stand by me personally when some people where criticizing me for my misgiving, most joined the bandwagon others stood and watched as innocent by standards.

    I was in wrong, but it was a great lesson because I saw that most relationships in whatever context where so unstable and not deeply rooted that we would abandon eachother in the tumorous times.

    dude, people who don’t tell you you are wrong when you are are not your friends. real friends snap you back to reality. as you have admitted you were in the wrong, so what the heck are you going on about unstable and not deeply rooted relationships? you’re not always right, if you are entitled to your opinions so are others, so let others make it without taking it personal.

  35. 35 Ruth

    If I am not mistaken, Nolawi’s point here is that your friends and families should stand by you in time of need whether you are wrong or committed the worst crime. Let’s face it, we all aren’t perfect. When we make mistake (like the taxi driver), we shouldn’t be thrown to the hyena because of one incident. I am not saying what the taxi driver has done is right. He is so wrong and he needs to be punished. This is between his wife and him. However, the church and his family should not abandon him. Most people defiantly don’t know what he hasn’t been able to get from his wife or his side of the story.

  36. 36 Nolawi

    [quote comment="115895"]If I am not mistaken, Nolawi’s point here is that your friends and families should stand by you in time of need whether you are wrong or committed the worst crime. Let’s face it, we all aren’t perfect. When we make mistake (like the taxi driver), we shouldn’t be thrown to the hyena because of one incident. I am not saying what the taxi driver has done is right. He is so wrong and he needs to be punished. This is between his wife and him. However, the church and his family should not abandon him. Most people defiantly don’t know what he hasn’t been able to get from his wife or his side of the story.[/quote]

    THANK YOU
    you are a genius
    no sarcasm…

    emebet get a shotgun and shoot everybody that makes a mistake. Dick Cheney will be proud of you!

  37. 37 emebet

    emebet get a shotgun and shoot everybody that makes a mistake. Dick Cheney will be proud of you!

    here you go making things personal again. were you abandoned by your friends or ostracized from the community? give me a break! take criticism and allow people to tell you when you are wrong. it doesn’t mean that they are not your friends anymore. holy dramatic! look through comments you have made to people who have/have not agreed with you in the past and you will get what i’m saying to you. you need to lighten up buddy.

  38. 38 Nolawi

    emebet nefse,
    i didn;t make a personal attack comment.

    I just disagree co-heartedly ena i made a comment in a sarcastic tone as to the ridiculousness of your opinion/view.

    D o y o u u n d e r s t a n d t h e w o r d s t h a t a r e coming out of my mouth?

    I can’t speak any slower? :)

  39. 39 emebet

    nolawi, yene geta
    afe kurrrit yibel. should i be insulted somehow? perhaps, but the grain of salt has been ingested. i have some more to share with you as you are in dire need. and a friend in need is a friend indeed.

  40. 40 wudnesh

    Ruth, if I may say so, most ppl don’t know why his wife didn’t attend to his needs either. My guess is that Nolawi would have been more sympathetic to the woman if he heard her story too.
    Shouldn’t the same token, used against judging the taxi driver, be used for his wife? Ain’t we taking away her liberty to be emotional and deal with her pain of being betrayed and cheated, if/when we suggest what/how she should have done/reacted?
    emebet,come’n now, he cannot ‘not take it personal’ and still be Nolawi eko :P

  41. 41 Wondering

    I could say a lot about the article, but id rather say something about the writer. Could u be any more defensive? You need to be able to take a criticism with grace. u may not agree with it but accept it. maybe u should rethink about posting articles in such a forum if u cant welcome a different opinion.

  42. 42 meski

    Dear WOndering.
    first why don’t you use a real name instead of “wondering” which apparently is as a commentary.

    Second one could argue that the fact the author chooses to write his opinion without being afraid of the negative feedback and opinion about him or his opinion could be a sign of his ability to take criticism well.

    I disagree with you. One should ofcource counter any criticism.

  43. 43 Wondering

    Second one could argue that the fact the author chooses to write his opinion without being afraid of the negative feedback and opinion about him or his opinion could be a sign of his ability to take criticism well.

    one would think so, but im basing my comment on his responses to the ppl that dont seem to agree with him. but hey thats my opinion

  44. 44 CONFUSED

    This is very confusing. I thought this was a review of a year in the life of Nolawi. I thought we were supposed to respond and comment on the article not the author. The article is Nolawi outlook of the past year, we can agree or disagree with some of it or all of it but it still remains his outlook and he is entitled to it. Those who disagree with him are entitled to the opposite view also.

    [quote comment="116143"]I could say a lot about the article, but id rather say something about the writer. Could u be any more defensive? You need to be able to take a criticism with grace. u may not agree with it but accept it. .[/quote]

    maybe u should rethink about posting articles in such a forum if u cant welcome a different opinion

    This is an Uber confusing statement; you say what you want but advice him to refrain doing the same. Confusing?..you bet .In the beginning the article was Nolawi observations, then people didnt fully agree and expressed their views which were different, but he stuck to the article’ point because that was his view and everyone else had a view and they stuck to it too. No one gave up their view or was refused to express it.Now it is about the writer himself not what he wrote. Very head shaking confusing.

  45. 45 Wondering

    im not suggesting that he changes his views because of the comments (tho he might if he found a convincing argument) or that he shouldnt defend his view. rather im talking about the personal responses he is giving when he could have argued his case without the sarcasm. i know my comment was a personal one as opposed to being about the article, i guess im giving him a taste of his own medicine :) anyways my apologies if this wasnt the right place to express my opinion about him being able to take criticism but i didnt know any other so …

    these are some of the comments im talking about

    [quote comment="115928"]emebet nefse,
    i didn;t make a personal attack comment.

    I just disagree co-heartedly ena i made a comment in a sarcastic tone as to the ridiculousness of your opinion/view.

    D o y o u u n d e r s t a n d t h e w o r d s t h a t a r e coming out of my mouth?

    I can’t speak any slower? :) [/quote]

    you are too slow… then if it takes you 2 months to buy an expensive outfit.

    ayzosh.. I am sure you can find a sugar daddy somewhere[/quote]

  46. 46 CONFUSED

    Still CONFUSED…if we are defending or condemming we must be fair to all unless I am confused about that too.

    This statement is in reply to the one below, both are highly personalised statements so why is one good and the other bad, betam confusing..is calling someone defender of the indefensible a nice thing to say? or unreasonable?or to imply they dont think before they speak lie Keila did?…

    In the same way that is not nice to tell someone they are slow or to tell someone to go get a sugar sugar daddy like Nolawi did .

    I look at it this way. Keila could have made her point without the need to personalise her view of Nolawi, or it could have been about the article itself which was the whole point.

    Nolawi having been provoked could have chosen to overlook it or to use more appropriate comment to make hispoint. It is a point for them to ponder on. Lets not overlook everyone’s contribution if this argument…

    you are too slow… then if it takes you 2 months to buy an expensive outfit.

    ayzosh.. I am sure you can find a sugar daddy somewhere

    [quote comment="114732"]Really Nol? I am so disappointed!! A. you defend the indefensible B. you generalize way more than is reasonable C. You expect too much out of people……….since when is two months enough for someone to be sure about a relationship…I have contemplated buying an expensive outfit loner- much less such an investment as a relationship. I know it’s unpopular to say chill and wait, but please feel free to stop and think of what you say before you post it. I know you are trying to be inflammatory, but buddy there ought to be some rhythm and reason to how you connect the dots.[/quote]

  47. 47 emebet

    Wondering – you are (as per Nolawi) “understanding the words coming out of my mouth”. All I was attempting to say to Nolawi is don’t mind criticism. If it is untrue, disregard it; if unfair, keep from irritation; if it is ignorant, smile; if it is justified it is not criticism, learn from it.

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