Years ago a friend of mine tried to date an acquaintance. She was in a state of confusion and, as I suspect, was in love with someone else but decided to still give my friend a chance or possibly use him to get attention.
I don’t know the details, but I knew they spent a lot of time together. Months go by and they are not hanging out anymore.
The girl contacted me for something unrelated and as we were talking she told me that he doesn’t talk to her anymore. Of course I asked why, but she was unable to answer.
I don’t know; he is acting childish! I will just give him time.”
I suspected he tried and was tired and wanted to get her out of his system. Plus she seemed like the selfish type.
So they never ever talked to each other. The girl runs around in the same circle as he does, more so than I do with either of them. But they don’t talk; they just ignore each other even if they are at the same dinner party.
I just think that is juvenile. I think people should curse each other out and then say hello if they run into each other; especially in circumstances where the two know each other more than anybody else.
Published by September 23rd, 2009 in Advice, Dating and Social.
I agree people should always try be civil. It is a small world, specially in the Habesha community. One is a bound to run into an ex sometime.
They don’t have to be friends but they can be civil and say “hi” “bye”.
The friend with an ex thing never works.
Most people trying to be friends with an ex are only hoping that if they stick it out long enough… eventually their ex will want them back.
Question for Nolawi, what is “she still gave my friend a chance or possibly use him to get attention.” ????
The monkey is cute
People don’t date for attention.
orangutan… is not a monkey… both are primates but orangutan is an great ape and monkey is not…
great apes have no tails… that is how you know the difference….
i hate monkeys so much they remind me of my little sister when she was a kid and very mischievous…
i love apes however… so much.. they are my favorite animals….groups
my favorite is the a gorilla then orangutan… then chimps..
here is more info
http://www.howstuffworks.com/monkeys-vs-apes.htm
WOW Nolawi, you know a lot about Monkeys, that’s what i called all of them kind because i don’t know anything about them.
about the topic, i think you are right they should talk it out or curse each other out and be civil with each other. They must be really imature to pretend like they don’t know each other.
Thanks of the info on the ape, I did not know that ape vs monkey.
Cute red haired ape then.He really looks sad & heart broken.
orangutans are the most chill creatures in the world – you can watch em at the zoo and they wont move for hours
“I suspected he tried and was tired and wanted to get her out of his system. Plus she seemed like the selfish type.”
Maybe he tried and tried and finally realized, ‘WTF was I thinking?’
Sometimes you expect so much ‘better’ from people, granted that that’s your expectation and not their problem. But you watch them, and watch them more. You discuss. Then they do stupid shit. You make excuses as to why they behave one way or another. One day, you wake up and realize, it’s just not them. You’re friends with your expectations of them.
When this realization hits, you may feel this person is way beneath anything you want to keep around as an acquaintance, let alone as a friend. Cussing and fighting is not really an option. It’s your problem that you’ve been chasing a personality in a person who just … isn’t … it. As for communicating this, what do you say? ‘I just don’t value your company in any context’? Hmm. Who’s that beneficial to? When you’ve nothing good to say, just don’t say it. I’m sure they’ll find many other friends.
Once in a blue moon, beTam qwaq yemilu sewoch alu. And when qwaq happens, yegzer selamta menefeg ayasfeligim, but all else may fall for ‘thanks, but no thanks’.
Alternatively, i’m evil
Great ape is great cuteness.
lol @ Tobian … ‘qwaq’ indeed, you are quickly becoming a favourite commentor
aha ahahahha ahahaha besaq.. I am gonna agree… with you tobian yet again.. but you can still acknowledge ones existence.. by nodding.. i don’t know but i think it seems childish to me..
Agree 100 % with Tobian…and I also like how u expressed your opinion !!!
The original “Planet of the Apes” one of the best movies ever….
Thats good for him, you cant let females like that play games with you. I dont see why he even have to say hi to her. If he dont wana talk to her he dont wana talk to her. Thats his perogative Gotta Mann up and put people with that kind of personality in their place.
I think you should dap him up when you see him next time!!
hahahhahahaha.
ok, i am the kind of person that’s civil to ppl. you really have to rub me the wrong way or betray me for me not to talk to you. even then, i will be upfront and honest about it. if we can’t work it out, we can’t work it out. at least we were honest about it and parted ways. like nolawi said, its out of our system. honesty is the best policy.
exes, past lovers…its not worth not talkin to each if u run the same circle. be cordial, ye egzer selamta and keep it moving. u’ll always end up being the bigger person
That is such an ex thing to do by ignoring, I personally get that all the time a wandering ex walking past me to get to the other side of the club, when there is nothing there but a wall. An ex dancing and kissing some drunk girl, its like get over it; it was 10 years ago we didnt even do anything we just went to the cinema and he acts like you were married and divorced so pathetic. I pay no mind for those kind of people. Please visit my blog for likeminded coments:
http://isatnat.blogspot.com/
Nolawi
Sounds like your friend kept it real and kept it moving…No need to pretend.
So true Tobian!
LOL this is by far my faaaavorite of your advices of people stuck up in a relationship, if u call it that (and the only one I support
)! Right on! if you need to curse one another out! or if not and you decide to be more grown up atleast sit and talk it out!
I agree with Nolawi on this. What happened during the course of the relationship is in the past. You get over it and be civil towards one another. For me, not saying hello means there are still some unresolved issues. Not everyone breaks up on a good note but you have to let it go after some point. Just say hello and go on with your life. I don’t see the need to be hostile.
I’m not sure silence equates hostility, though. Sometimes, especially depending on the parameters of the break up (no one really knows what happened between them except them), being in the same room at the same time speaks volumes. At least they are doing that much. Over time they can work towards words. If they make others around them uncomfortable maybe those individuals should say something to them. Otherwise, they should work things out between them in what ever manner is necessary to have peace in the end. Hopefully this silence between them is mutually wanted…
Dating is such a precarious road, remind me why we put ourselves through it again?
Hmmmmmmm….ewunetim kok!!!! I luv your last remark!
hymm lol.. i think her name is kok as in a peach not Qock like the bird
@ Nolawi:
lol-right
@Tobian:
Hats off and bow for the witty comments. Highly appreciated!
btw, I love the article too. Short and Sweet!
Nol, Abesha ayidelehu?…kifuwu newu yemitayegn mejemeriya…my bad! lol…
I think it is all about the ego. ‘Endet betnekegn/binekegn’ ‘Min yansegnal’..etc. We are all commenting, because it is on somebody else’s ego and not us. If the dude or dudett, who ever is mezgating whoever else, could see the situation as we see it, as an observer, they will realize it is silly.
I tend to see breakups as ‘somebody, out of the 6 billion (in fact 3 billion, assuming heterosexuality
) on the planet, deciding not to share their life in the ‘r.ship’ sense with me.’ And putting the ego out of the equation, then it is not about me. It is about somebody else’s decision, just like ppl deciding to be e.g. a vegetarian.
They will be better off saying hello to one another and to socialize, in order to enjoy this ephemeral life more and create more connections.
Bre
“Sometimes you expect so much ‘better’ from people, granted that that’s your expectation and not their problem. But you watch them, and watch them more. You discuss. Then they do stupid shit.”
…..Hmmmm. Is this where the “we are only friends” crap creeps in. This is usually a girl thing. Boy gets tell tell signs, gets closer, gets hit with that and ego gets deflated. Girl gets tell tell signs, don’t stop it on time, keeps dragging it for a while till Tobian’s ‘stupid sh…t’ hits the fan. Indeed the answer is going to be “he is acting childish”. As for the not talking to each other, I guess the last transaction between the two is very determinant if one is to see eye to eye. Their dating monkey needs an aping face lift.
Nolawi ,It is too late to reply to your comment but I just wanted to ask u a question. If “orangutan… is not a monkey… great apes have no tails” ,and when u said “i hate monkeys so much they remind me of my little sister when she was a kid and very mischievous…” And also “i love Apes however..so much they are my favorite animals..groups”, does it means that ur sister has a
Has a tail and you don’t love her?
pretty good insights, but i kinda heard it before.
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