Toxic Love 61 Comments

toxic
Her face glowed with momentary delight and her eyes had a twinkle. Her smile and excitement were so contagious that one could hardly refrain from sharing her glee. She was at that moment where it seemed she always wanted to be.

That moment was special and worthy of savoring for it was one that did not come too often. It was not only her moment but one that everyone around her celebrated. Everyone that cared for her that is. The atmosphere was light and laughter was in the air. Her friends whispered amongst each other, “this is so rare – isn’t it amazing?”

He held her close and showered her with kisses as they swayed to the music. An abundance in public display of affection. Tonight she was the center of his world. Nothing could tear him away from his woman of five years and the mother of his child. Nothing! Oh yea? Well… nothing…. but a couple of shots of hard liquor and a chick clad in skimpy clothing.

Honey, while I’m at it, I’ll also attempt to hump your best friend on the dance floor and make a pass at women I don’t know while you simmer in your fury. Catch you when the next “moment” hits me again and I sure will throw you a bone then.

And just as it had crept in mysteriously, happiness performed its short number and bid her farewell. Hooraayyy sang anger and disappointment as they frolicked across her face and heart. These two have been permanent tenants for some time now.

All in the name of love she endured. Cheated on. Beaten up. Abandoned penniless with a child. Don’t wear that! Don’t do that! Do this for me. Do that for me. Me Me Meee!!! And when she’s just had about enough, he throws the bone. Let’s get engaged!


“I blame her – she’s the one allowing him to push the boundaries.” “She should know she deserves much better than this,” her friends discuss. “He is not right for you,” his own mother cautions.

But she is a woman whose love knows no boundaries. She endures. For the baby…she says. But he will change…she says. But he is not always like this…she says. But, but, but….
But how do you make a woman understand the toxic state she exists in?

Dedicated to all the women whose love knows no limit.

61 Responses to “Toxic Love”


  1. 1 c'est moi

    I think she already understands she is in the “toxic state” .woman or man , once this boundary is crossed in a relationship, there is no turning back . You either live within this state and hope he/ she will change ( but they wont ) or you join the club . You join that toxic world of his / her – thus start cheating , flirting , beating him/her up emotionally , taking them on a guilt trip – Lets just say its a sick world after that . The ever so brave ones leave and try to start over . But fixing a relationship after this boundary is corssed …. I dont think so . Please do correct me if I am wrong .

  2. 2 c'est moi

    On a second note, maybe leaving is also some weak character trait – maybe not being able to fix things is worse . hum . maybe there is no answer?

  3. 3 E

    [quote comment="137472"]The ever so brave ones leave and try to start over . But fixing a relationship after this boundary is corssed …. I dont think so .[/quote]

    This reminds me of Tilahun’s song, “wedo yetela sew,” which goes like this:

    Wedo yetela sew yekorete anjetu
    Kim yizo yihedal ayasayim fitun…

    Sew betam tewado eskitebew meret
    yetetala endehon yilal eret eret…

    fiqir ketetalu mache yitawesal
    tafach yenebrew beret yilewesal…

    Nice post, Masinko! :)

  4. 4 Nolawi

    You have to marry him… you have no choice… love is no good unless its a toxic roller casters…

    that is unless you prefer a smooth stable yet boring predictable safe ride.

    Volvo, is nice safe, usually grey.

  5. 5 E

    [quote comment="137506"]love is no good unless its a toxic roller casters…

    that is unless you prefer a smooth stable yet boring predictable safe ride.

    Volvo, is nice safe, usually grey.[/quote]

    lol

    I actually like when love is so toxic so burning so intense—a type of love shown in the picture above. The plant looks happier (brighter) though it’s surrounded by yezagu biretoch and stuffed in askeyami goma mesay container. A life full of suffering and hot with passion!

  6. 6 Nolawi

    Exactly… if it ain’t messy its not word it! or

    as one long a go girl i dated for a very small time was really pissed at me and as she was explaining how I supposedly was treating her.. she said with her deep ethiopian accent “its not word it

    I was on the passenger seat of a car when a I was talking to her screaming at me and my white friend who was driving could hear her.

    After I hanged up the phone he started laughing because she had a deep accept and when she was trying to say “worth it” it comes out word it.

    so if it ain’t messy its not word it.

  7. 7 FlorNueva

    Wow E! I was just thinking of that Tilahun song too :-)

    Nice piece Masinko Melody. I think like C’es Moi first said, once the boundary has been crossed there is no return. People don’t change no matter how much we would like them to. All too often we go back to the same toxic relationship over and over hoping this time he/she will change. Isn’t that what insanity is, doing the same thing over and over, but expecting a different outcome ? But some things are eaiser said than done. For an outsider walking away is the simplest thing to day, but for the one entangled in the mess….it a bit complicated than that.

    Nolawi, at first the pic looked like YeMekina Battery….looks like that plant is flourshing in a battery Acid.

  8. 8 Totit

    Nolawi, What kinda messiness are we talking about?

    but a couple of shots of hard liquor and a chick clad in skimpy clothing.

    From my understanding there are many third parties involved here, or am I not getting it?
    I am all for passion but if I have to wonder where my man’s private parts were every time he decide to grace me with a littl’ attention…then “bafenchaye yeweta”, and then again what do I know? Maybe a day of passion can wipe out a life time of suffering, and that cycle might be “wordy” ….I know it aint for me

  9. 9 c'est moi

    [quote comment="137506"]You have to marry him… you have no choice… love is no good unless its a toxic roller casters…

    that is unless you prefer a smooth stable yet boring predictable safe ride.

    Volvo, is nice safe, usually grey.[/quote]

    There are red volvos maybe you dont see’em every where . also dark black and powerful looking . oh and deep blue – ooooh sexy ones. its just a choice one can buy a red one or a grey.
    If you wait and dont settle and not sell yourself short , maybe you can have it all . The passion and the safety .

  10. 10 Totit

    C’est moi…Kudos to those words…couldnt have said it better..I want my Volvo to be deep blue…

  11. 11 metad bet

    ppppreeeeaaacccchhh!!!

    most women have been in the ‘toxic love’ situation. let’s not fake the funk and act like we knew better at the time. to my ladies, everything is being said in retrospect, after the lies, after he cheated and done left you behind, baby daddy/mama drama or not.

    so more power to those who’ve been thru hell [emotionally] and now know your limits. and to those who are still going round in circles, i feel for you ’cause i been there and done that!

  12. 12 E

    [quote comment="137527"]ppppreeeeaaacccchhh!!!

    most women have been in the ‘toxic love’ situation. let’s not fake the funk and act like we knew better at the time. to my ladies, everything is being said in retrospect, after the lies, after he cheated and done left you behind, baby daddy/mama drama or not.

    so more power to those who’ve been thru hell [emotionally] and now know your limits. and to those who are still going round in circles, i feel for you ’cause i been there and done that![/quote]

    Why do most ladies think guys are the ONLY cheaters? and blame everything on us? huh…

    not fair…

    who says most men have not been in ‘toxic love’ situation, eh? :)

    I’m gonna open ye-wondoch-mebit mikir bet!

  13. 13 Sara

    Great post Masinko.
    I don’t think women endure ALL that just in the name of love. It’s fear of leaving their mate, not being confident that a better man is out there, fear of finding themselves alone so it’a sll fueled by fear. Also I honestly think “Love” or what you consider is love ( and I say that because I start questioning if it’s really love when u know your man is cheating on u or doing you wrong…can you still love for him?) can make u stupid and blind to the very obvious…so that’s when u need friends/families to guide u and let you know that u r in a destructive r/ship and get you out of it.
    I used to think walking away was an easy task until someone really close to me found herself in a situation and did not walk away when she should….so more power to the women who can walk away from a messy situation.

    Nolawi, If wanting an honest guy and one who does not beat his women is a boring r/ship, I will take that anytime.
    E, Ayyyy wondochem have been in toxic r/ships. I’m just saying women in my case because of the article and because I can relate to it better…

  14. 14 Totit

    Metad Bet, What exactly is our limit though? Have not faced the baby mama drama, but I can tell I have had my fair share of the cheating concoction … and it becomes a choice after that…Do u wanna wonder if he really is in a meeting when he missed ur call, or he was up to no good…After all don’t we all lay in the bed that we made….Choosing to walk away with an intact dignity and licking your wounds in private is a better perspective than facing an uncertain future, fuelled with passion or not . I might have had rivers of tears to cry, but everyday passed, was a day away from an uncertain past and a step taken towards a stronger, better and most certainly safer tomorrow. Boring? Maybe, but I thrive in predictability.

  15. 15 metad bet

    E,

    no one says that guys are the ONLY that cheat in a r/ship. i’ve known my share of women who have cheated. but we are talking about this blog post, and if we stick within this context [unless the individual prefers the other sex] than men are the cheaters :) sorry to burst you bubble nefse! it’s all fiqir, ye digg?

    Totit,

    Some women have to go thru countless trial and error in order to realize their limit. i think women need to wake up and smell the buna and tell themselves it’s time to get up and leave if the man is up to no good or not giving his 100% when she is giving 200%. Not to say that she is right in doing so, but she doesn’t know her limit. [the song Gotta go, Gotta Leave by Vivian Green comes to mind ] nolawi, podcast IT!!

    I am one of those of who wear their hearts on their sleeves however i have been hurt, lied to, stood up countless times in the past. I have learned and I know when i see a red flag it’s time to throw my towel in and bid the r/ship adieu. However, i don’t think i’ll stop wearing my heart on my sleeve not because i enjoy the toxic feel but i believe that everyone deserves to be loved and wanted whole heartedly otherwise, what’s the point of SERIOUS r/ships [ not the stuff the kids do nowadays].

    pphhhewww. i think that sums me up.

  16. 16 justme

    toxic love?? …..well for me love alone enough to make me crazy so i can’t add any toxic in it..

  17. 17 biskut

    You have to marry him… you have no choice… love is no good unless its a toxic roller casters…

    that is unless you prefer a smooth stable yet boring predictable safe ride.

    Volvo, is nice safe, usually grey.

    if the relationship is “marriage” and children are involved safe ,stable and peaceful relationship is preferable .A passionate, toxic roller coaster gets old very soon . some immature and casual relationships might assume that the toxicity originates from love and passion .Love can also be smooth ,safe and stable .The real love that is.
    For all you women who think tilant betifi yemetagne silemiwedegne qento new bilachu yemitasibu there is a also a considerable possibility betifi yemetash niqosh or teltosh endehone .

  18. 18 tsegure

    This is what I call emotional BDSM.

  19. 19 Nolawi

    Nice stable safe provider are all key words girls use to reinforce the fact that woman are prone to resume checking instead of love….. not for money blah blah… but it seems like you ladies are becoming cynics…..

    I see most of you ladies test driving Mercedes’s in your twenties and then saying volvos can be nice when you get turned down to get financing on the Mercedes…

    I am not saying volovos are not nice.. its just that I really don’t see you guys giving the nice melata borcham a chance

  20. 20 biskut

    nolawi
    There are nice non melatas and non borchams as well you know .Not that there is
    anything wrong with melata and borcham brothers.

  21. 21 E

    lol the house is on fire…! and Masinko has put the melody on repeat, so i thought. :)

    What’s BDSM, Tsegure? Woy alemawek. :(

    Metad Bet, I got it nefse. :) I was just making sure you guys ain’t generalizing…and dumping all the wrongs and what not on us… :-)

    “…well for me love alone enough to make me crazy so i can’t add any toxic in it,” says justme. haha bring it on!

    “… it’s time to get up and leave if the man is up to no good or not giving his 100% when she is giving 200%.” Don’t you think that is tooo exaggerated, Metadye? I mean 95% is fine…but saying ladies give 200% is just a typical salesman’s baloney! :)

  22. 22 tsegure

    What’s BDSM, Tsegure? Woy alemawek. :(

    Dominating in a sexual bizarroooo way. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/bdsm

  23. 23 E

    Thanks Tsegure. I must say that is a very disturbing thing to read about.

    Let me share another example of ‘toxic love’ by Maxim Gorky as translated by Caleb Yofni:

    ?????? ??? “?? ????! ???? …
    “?? ???? ???” ?? ????? …
    ???? ??? ??? ??? ?????? ??? ?? ?? ????? ????????? ?????? ????? ????
    “???? ??? ??? ???????? ????? ??? ???? ????! ??? ?????” ???? … ??? ???????
    “??? ???? ??? ?????? …” ??? ?????
    ????? ??????? ??? ?? ??? ?? ????? ????? ??? ???? ????? ??? ?????? ???? ?? “?? ?? ??? ????” ?????
    ??? ??? ??? ????? ???? ???? ????? ???????
    “??! ??? ?? ???????” ?? ??????
    “?????? ???? ???? ???? ????? ?????? ?????”
    “???? ?? ??????? ??????? ??? …”
    “?? ?? ??? – ?? ???? – ?? ??? – ??? – ??????? ?????! ?? ??? ??????? ??? ????? ???? ???? ?? ???? ?????? ????? ????? ???

    read the rest of the beautiful story here: http://www.geocities.com/nigatyka/art_006.htm

    If not ‘toxic’ then what kind of love would that be? I am just curious. I feel sad for ???, though.

  24. 24 Dinich

    This reminded me of the saying: Women marry hoping the men will change and men marry hoping the women will never change….

    Both deadly wrong…

  25. 25 Tsedey

    I am not saying volovos are not nice.. its just that I really don’t see you guys giving the nice melata borcham a chance[/quote]

    We’re not Amnesty International Nolawi, we all have one life and we need to do what’s best for US. I’m sorry but no playing the good Samaritan here…if the nice melata borcham doesn’t rock my boat then he doesn’t. Period.

  26. 26 jimmy

    Nolawi I read your blog at times. After I finished reading Toxic love and comments by others I just wanted to share this. Here’s a letter I kept in my inbox mail that until now I still re-read them whenever I feel a little under the weather, I really loved the content of it and now I’m sharing this to you… and here’s why..

    Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

    When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don’t see the one which has been opened for us.

    The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve every had.

    It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.

    Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they’ll love you back! Don’t expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn’t, be content it grew in yours. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

    Don’t go for looks; they can deceive. Don’t go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

    There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real!

    Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

    May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.

    Always put yourself in others’ shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too. The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only
    they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

    Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can’t go on well in life until you let go your past failures and heartaches.

    When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you’re the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying….

  27. 27 c'est moi

    ay jiiiiiimmy

  28. 28 dawitm

    [quote comment="137671"]ay jiiiiiimmy[/quote]

    ditto!!

  29. 29 Nolawi

    eiich jimmy!

    faaaaaa ken bo ri iiiiii ng

  30. 30 Tsedey

    [quote comment="137671"]ay jiiiiiimmy[/quote]

    Lol…Balege! why do u have to “catch mood” on other pple?Lol

  31. 31 c'est moi

    [quote comment="137694"][quote comment="137671"]ay jiiiiiimmy[/quote]

    Lol…Balege! why do u have to “catch mood” on other pple?Lol[/quote]

    because its fun !!!! :) :) I learned from the best !

    [quote comment="137680"]eiich jimmy!

    faaaaaa

    ken bo ri iiiiii ng[/quote]
    lol

    Jimmy – welcome to bernos! no hard feelings , I hope.
    we’re just playing here .

  32. 32 jimmy

    eiich jimmy! Tesdey

    faaaaaa ken bo ri iiiiii ng Nolawi

    Jimmy – welcome to bernos! no hard feelings , I hope.
    we’re just playing here .
    Thanks for the welcome, any body know Yewef kuankua

    Serku Sa’b Che Che Sem Rodo Tra kedo!

  33. 33 sosina

    beautiful picture. The plant looks like those men/women in toxic relationships. tinish Tiwlig bilalech. sad eyes, madiyat all over the face, but still keepin’ faith alive. ay yenante neger.

  34. 34 helen

    [quote comment="137857"]beautiful picture. The plant looks like those men/women in toxic relationships. tinish Tiwlig bilalech. sad eyes, madiyat all over the face, but still keepin’ faith alive. ay yenante neger.[/quote]

    LOL… so true

  35. 35 meron

    nolawi dont you drive a volov?

  36. 36 masinkomelody

    [quote comment="137513"]Exactly… if it ain’t messy its not word it!

    There’s “messy” and then there’s “toxic”. I think repetitive behavioral patterns that are destructive should indicate the end of the roller coaster ride, unless there is mutual interest and action to reverse the damage.

    [quote comment="137538"]
    I don’t think women endure ALL that just in the name of love. It’s fear of leaving their mate, not being confident that a better man is out there, fear of finding themselves alone so it’a sll fueled by fear.

    On point Sara. i should restate “Dedicated to all the women whose love and FEAR knows no limit.”

  37. 37 yachilej

    E – thank you for that “how good is your reading these days” pop quiz.. :)
    .. maybe i’m the only one who stuggled?

  38. 38 E

    [quote comment="138346"]E – thank you for that “how good is your reading these days” pop quiz.. :)
    .. maybe i’m the only one who stuggled?[/quote]
    u re welcome, Yachilej. :) I guess you are the only one. lol Or maybe not. :)

    This reminded me of the saying: Women marry hoping the men will change and men marry hoping the women will never change….

    Both deadly wrong…

    So true… lol

  39. 39 Wayzero Tewabach

    Stick to the boring person that you will know woulnt walk out on you when you get fat, drama is for teens I say. But what is love tho it comes fast and dissapears just as quick. Its funny because you say you will stick with the simpleton but its easier said than done as you will actually be living with this person and boy they can get on your nerves. Before you know it you will end up looking as dull and lifeless as them and long for your true love who may be thousand times exciting. On the other hand you may fall in love with safe bet maybe after 6 years.

  40. 40 bgFelasfit

    *sigh*
    …love – just getting used to someone?

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    [quote comment=""]*sigh*
    …love – just getting used to someone?[/quote]

    Your habit?

  42. 42 bgFelasfit

    [quote comment=""][quote comment=""]*sigh*
    …love – just getting used to someone?[/quote]

    Your habit?[/quote]
    more

    …’yilalu’…lemalet, aynet

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