01:00pm
“rubbish!” she said,
laughing,
rinsing the last dish,
accented first syllables
with british pouts:
“you mean you won’t?”
no i won’t. wont. want.
02:42am
the altar swayed as i prayed
banter brayed as i stayed in front
heaven lurked in the bays of her cunt
but it’s the hell in her heart i couldn’t depart from.
03. pass(h)er by?
her disinterest in my stares,
her loyalty to him, and
her scent as she walks by …
(am i too old for a crush?)
04:14pm
the itch, the wound
the scab, and the scar
it's simple, how Time works –
(or maybe it's just funny)
clearly not on my schedule.
05. howthedichotomyofreciprocationsometimesworks
i witness eyes witnessing
crumbling clusters of caustic fury
when unmedicated wounds
finally accosted their not-so-humble Creator
and feed It the scabs and festering blisters
peppered with saline teardrops and sweat,
whispering … loudly,
“Here. Taste me. Taste you. Taste us.”
Toothpick, if I didn’t just finish a whole bottle of wine all by myself just now, I would have at least have somethign meaningful to say about this. But ….. okay, may be I didn’t quite understand it yet(as always) but boy, you are challenging my brain cells from left to right with your piece. Next time, start from Ha Hu or ABC, or give us a preview of what’s to come so we can research and prepare for the masterpiece. You are quite entertaining, thats for sure.
Hahaha … can’t do can/’t either. Of course, i’m still not sure which one his response was. Let’s hope she kept laughin.
02:42 … very …*ahem* … interestingly put, but very …endearing.
03:… insisting there is/was a longer version of this poem.
04:14am hmm… then sometimes you find that the scar itches, too. If only you could unschedule a non-schedule …
05: dichotomy of reciprocation?? hmm. nauseating imagery, man. well, done. I guess i’ll skip dinner.
of course, i may totally be misreading these. entertaining nonetheless.
Hampstead Heath-Pick, LOL!…ere bakih aante lij! what’s all these? ye sound like a copper’s nark.
I fink you did fancy the Brit skin and blister(good on her!)…and sure u ain’t too old to ave a crush…but it don’t sound as though u want ‘er to be yer future trouble who you want to ‘ave your dustbin lids with….not by the words u use for ‘er. I hope she knew that…and that was the reason for ‘er disinterest in yer stares….yep!she was feasting her mincers on young knights.(u’d better adam and eve it!)
“her loyality to him….”??? don’t tell me u r a fence!Hehe.hope u won’t be rumbled!
For now, find the nearest battle cruiser and enjoy your pot of good cheer and fag(I suggest no Bob Hope)…but keep in mind, though loving and patient, Brits don’t take no mickey fritt…
T-Pickkkk,
I quote, “Here. Taste me. Taste you. Taste us.”
hehehe..,be warned, there are many after darks.
Anyways..u r, as I always say, quite an entertainer. This has been a good turkish bath.
chelema,
a whole bottle…all by yourself..minew? be-dehna? lol!Where did your chinas go? I could imagine u… your boat race and jugs as red as berbere…ow, forgot u r chelema…lucky, isn’t noticeable on you…Innit? u must be in a two and eight right now,reading C,B,A (explains why T-Pick didn’t start with ABC and give u a preview!) Blimey, I haven’t been to a boozer since New year’s eve (err, no, no, am telling porkies…forgot a glass…or was it two, I enjoyed last night) but am rabbiting like I was the one who’d the bottle…I’ll leave it out.
sorry, you lost me at 02:42 pm……
altar…prayed…heaven…..cunt…hell….heart..depart
Say what??
you are weird…
Toothpick, I think this is your interpretation of the article “Love at 1st sight 1 & 2″
Wudnesh, [quote post="379"]For now, find the nearest battle cruiser and enjoy your pot of good cheer and fag(I suggest no Bob Hope)…but keep in mind, though loving and patient, Brits don’t take no mickey fritt…[/quote]
Huh? sweety you’re really starting to sound like the understudy for Toothpick. Can a female be an understudy for a male…hmmm don’t know but there’s a 1st time for everything. lol Well I guess if he’s unable to fulfill his duties as the confusing one you’ll fit right in. Is it me or is it the martini I had last night, I’m having a very hard time understanding you now. lol
Calling bgFelasfit, calling bgFelasfit, please come in bgFelasfit, 10-4 over….we need a translator and you’re the only one who seems to know the language of planet Toothpick (nano-nano ek, ek). Please take us into the light.
I was about to post my kg drawings..have to take it back before I even say it. Now now which school do I apply for to learn this banter?
Celebrateye…wey understudy! yemilew begebagn mejemeria! I’m just guessing the ‘story’ behind what he wrote. But Since it seems (yea, guessing again)that the Brit was with him from PM to AM…and then to PM (and am sure…or am I? this is half the story:) )T-Pick would understand what I wrote. Was just suggesting that for now, he finds the nearest pub and enjoy beer and cigaret (no marijuana)…and remember that the Brit take no shit.
bemegerem neww yemitsifewun yemanebeww…but, while I have nothing but admiration for his talent, I think he could’ve used less vulgar word here:
banter brayed as i stayed in front
heaven lurked in the bays of her cunt
I need to look it all up… whew!
Indae … really? What have i been smoking? This is what i read …
The first one … he’s making fun of the British accent. Perhaps ‘fun’ is not the right word, but in the end the reader has no clue what the narrator answered … or what she asked, for that matter, since she’s the one with the British pout.’You want?’ or ‘You won’t?’
the second … he saying he likes the sex, but really, it’s her personality that keeps drawing him back to her (unless he’s Alice Cooper, in which case he really means the venomous blood in her heart)
the third happens to be among my favorite 4 lines written in the name of poetry. but he keeps hiding the rest of the lines.
the fourth … well, time is simple in that you first get an itch/curiosity/desire/need, you scratch it, it hurts/fails, it scabs, and finally scars/experience/memories minamin. simple enough .. but he notes it never happens on his schedule. mts. indeed. ayatochacn ‘life & shit saytaseb yimatal’ indemilut …
the last one is … don’t poop in your kitchen. the jumbled title, ‘ …how dichotomy of reciprocation sometimes works … ‘ says it better.
i find it interesting (perhaps disturbing too
) that scabs, wounds, festering …some sort of acute physical pain seems to be a recurring theme. minew, minew, Tirs-mefaqia?
Lol tobian… “mefaqia” alsh? Jinx!…toothpick’s also yTirsSintir
celebrate…
10-4…bgFelasfit here…
el interpreter reporting
here to share my thoughts over
Wude…
CockneyEnglish should be a different language…girl…had no idea what u’re saying!
…tp, this poem: it’s on another level. good work, as always it is uncommon … it engages a reader’s emotions, it’s subtle [my favorite aspect --& this makes it different yet similar to your enigmatic, puzzle-like poems]… honest, raw [making it stimulating/disturbing]… Iwnetaw indih new… your poems get me hooked on your ideas, thoughts & the workings of ur mind…u’re like an enigma yourself.
Here were my thoughts/feelings:
@ 01 pm I felt mischievously curious at slowly gaining entryway into his secret thoughts…in the carefree asexual setting of washing dishes around lunchtime….
he ….won’t (doesn’t want to), wont (habitually), want (desire) her.
[I liked how u used the words to do a slow reveal…almost like u would make us wait before giving us access to his innermost thoughts…]
@ 02 am I was taken in by the extent of his desire & torture as the altar swayed around him… the depth of his desires…his thoughts, wishes and dreams (in the sacred place where he prays …his thoughts not yet in the gutter
). His nervousness…his endearing vulnerability with fear of how she would respond to him… make fun of him, or others would…The banter was loud, at his expense coming from behind him. And that is the hell within her that he fears and feels entrapped by. He is afraid of her response to him…it is torturous…
Celebrate, I think u’re right about it’s connection to love @ 1st sight… esp @ 2:42
I felt the dirtiness of the [potential] affair because of the torturous feelings she makes him feel, the fact that there’s also another man & jealousy @ 03…the ‘blasphemy’ of the way words are used including a reference to ‘hell’…+ the jarring, lustful, cuss word that violently breaks through social norm to express torture of our protagonist- and his desire to cuss at her because of what she’s putting him through. (Though…whatever the poetic intention, I agree with Wude: the cuss word is flung out to the same effect of other derogatory words objectifying our gender)
Going back to our protagonist…we find him entranced by his carnal, lustful desires… His torturous thoughts about her sex…And then his aroused wishful contemplation of the ecstasy lurking.
TIME: 2am either t-pick’s hinting at insomnia or a more likely event: this is a description of a tortured wet dream … whoa!!
tp… The fact that it’s not overt, u’re hinting…exploring…using a metaphor/a puzzle…the subtlety (using just one sentence): These add more fuel to the ignited imagination of the reader that runs to unexpected/unpredicted places… it’s hella sexy…. almost like… seductive work by a word spinner: once u realize the meaning…it’s shockingly sexual, raw and abrupt …and the depth to his lust becomes apparent.
I like how u express the complexity of things such as a lustful crush with disguised simple words which are actually complicated—here u’re going back and forth between the torture and the desires: line 1 vs. line 2 vs…
@ 03 I slowly felt giddy… such endearing lines, so adorable…! I was itching for more…but that itch makes them even better! Even sweeter…a sweet crush
, tingles, pangs of desire at the smell of her perfume… and attempts at flirting, trying to get her attention…..as a “pass(h)er by” for her to see him, acknowledge and flirt back…but then…then there’s the other guy…
Tobian…DITTO to: favorite 4 lines!!
@ 04 he is contemplative…”…time heals all wounds”, wounds from the desire (itch…) that one scratches and makes worse…eventually causing a wound…but after this, it is beyond one’s control… but it’s funny, almost simple how time works… yeTobian beYibelt yiZerezirewal
@ 05 I felt saddened, I sympathized as it dawned on him that he’s been truly hurt… and he realizes his injuries. He starts acknowedging the effects of unrequited/unreciprocated infatuation/love/lust(?).
After scabs have dried, he is still infatuated with her…and his feelings are reprimanding him, fury was erupting from him- demanding him to acknowledge the toll it has taken. His feelings feed him the evidence of pain, they throw scabs, tears and sweat at him…they whisper loudly.
“Here. Taste me. Taste you. Taste us.”
I assume it’s love because he prays and wishes as well as desires physically, there is a scar still present, there is a crush, and he realizes later on—even after scabs have dried that he’s still hurting from unmedicated wounds…it seems deeper
(though it may be that she drives him i.e. his ego crazy so he wants to get in her pants…) …maybe it’s infatuation, maybe its love or lust: which one is it, tp?
The poem structure as a recounting, reminiscence of what happened…sort of how someone infatuated repeatedly thinks about times they encountered the object of their affection…
wudnesh … i have no idea what you said, but i’m sure somewhere in there is some comprehensible english
those damn cockneys!
bgFelasfit & tobian: your interpretations/analyses are always off the hook. the funny thing is, these five particular pieces were actually written independently of one another, at different times, different contexts, etc. they were never meant to be “one piece” … but somehow, it worked … eh voila: new context, new meaning, new reactions. *shrug*
however, i’m interested in hearing why the word “cunt” was offensive and/or objectifying …
Felasfit,
> he ….won’t (doesn’t want to), wont (habitually), want (desire) her.
interesting. I completely took ‘wont’ to be a conscious misspelling of ‘won’t’. hmm …
Felasfit, Wudnesh,
Why is cunt offensive? Can you possibly imagine any other word that refers to the female genitalia that can be used in its place instead … and the poem still retain its effect? Bliss/torture/desire/lack of control…?
This reminds me of the ‘Vagina Monologues’? It’s prolly still performed in colleges. Mts. I disliked that shit (I mean …seriously, if i’ve to sit for 2 hrs at least give me ‘Penis Monologues’. Hmm … then Some guy even asked for a dialog? lol . I digress.) Anyway, i think VM had a point … which could be made in 2 min … that it’s so hard to refer to female genitalia without what you say sounding surgical or offensive. (Funny how over time people started calling the show V-Monologues, V-Day,e etc. Even the title was a tad too much to throw about?)
oops. i guess i took too long to type.
Nolawi, I’m weirded out by the lack of timestamps (yes, irrelevant, but please help our OC tendencies).
hmmmm…
Cunt
Well…it sort of is a word powerful enough to stand on its own, regardless of the words what accompany it…
(…& if wude implying tp possibly having been/living/lived in london to understand cockney is not so…especially in american english, it is…”a more vehement form of bitch”, it is very insulting)
…regardless of the strategic placement & the profound meaning where it stands (tobian, u may be right: effective/irreplacable(?) word)…in the back of my mind, I heard her being called a vagina = objectified.
Beyond the basic ‘surgical’ meaning, it has socially constructed implications depending on how u’ve been conditioned because it is also an insult/profanity used in many forms and contexts.
About v-monologues…maybe cunt is not one of the words to reclaim and dull its piercing sharpness cos of the history behind it…
… what do u say to blacks wanting to reclaim ‘nigger’?
ha! bernos was about to eat my comment when I stopped it!
selective definition, bgFelasfit?
from the same “urban dictionary”:
lol…maybe i should have overlooked putting in the link too?
well…as I said…depends on how u’ve been conditioned
wow…this editing thing is da bomb nolawi!!
…plus…my definition got higher # votes [more than double!!] than yours…
na-nana-naaaaanaaa
maybe u can use ‘cunny’ ??
Felasfit…hmmm…i know! lol!
Tobian, I don’t believe the word ‘cunt’ did anything for the poem to retain the effect of
Felasfit
No there was no implication TP lived in London..where is this coming from?…hope not from what I said about him..understanding cockney (that was in relation to the poem…spending long enough with the Brit to understand it, lol!)
BTW, not especially in American English…it’s just vulgar…period! If there was any names rud-bouys/Yardi-Wanna-BEs of london use, that’s worse than white-trash, I’d say is blood-clot and cunt. Tobiannnnnn, see what u get us into!:)
TP…don’t even go there…am sure u r leaving the word ‘vulgar’ from ur dictionary
Wudnesh,
Heh … yes, i’m sure tirs-sinTir (thanks, Felasfit) has many words.
Lenae V reminds me of a gynecologist. P of yemeder awdelday. The use of C is invariably … shocking, but on point. If it is used too frequently it’ll prolly start sounding like V.
And i’m not sure why i’m writing in initials.
Felasfit,
Hahaha. Ok. So I agree … if u call a person cunt it’s offensive (So funny, imagining a person being that. Anyway …) much like if you called a person ahiya. Gin min alebet if you call a donkey ahiya, or a vagina … a cunt? LOL. ishee. i’m stretching it here.
I’m all for ‘neutralizing’ the term ‘nigger’. In fact, while we’re at it, let’s get rid of black and white, too. I wish culture had more significance than color. Mts!
felasfit
wondering what you are talking about…
gin I have to say, I am happy you are around to make us think and blaze blaza… keep on keeping on the art of
wude…thanks for the clarification…!
tobian…toothpick is like a dictionary
…I tend to give every ‘wont’, apostrophe, comma, full stop we.ze.te… a chance to make an impression on me before assuming their purpose…
lol…yea initials…I wonder too!
I think “P” may be a substitute that doesn’t take the effect away too much…it’s actually sort of…ehem… cute
LeIne… the word disgusts me…qiFif yilegnal… it’s also how it sounds
…it sounds like a profanity K-NT! like u’re cursing at someone…
ante NifTAM! ChebereAM! AhiYA!…
you K-nt
(lol..attempt @ avoiding more filthy sidiboch…)
And anyway…calling an ahiya an ahiya is ok . would u say come here B–CH! to a female dog?
or would u tell ur friends that u have a “cute little B*tch” at home?
…i think the nigga/nigger deal is way too complicated…
nolawi…
i was responding to toothpick
…& edited in 3 comments as one comment.
this one, reedited, is for u:
tp…would u bring some light to some of the contexts these poems were written in?
I’m usually searching out cohesion, and it always seems that u’re working with an array of disparate ideas…
…it’d be really interesting to know what goes on behind the scenes…
I’m nostalgic for our discussions here… toothpick, tobian, wudenesh and everyone else… where are u guys?
felasfit…i think this B-Press is taking up our time…very addictive…but didn’t c t-pick there
chronomentrophobia
is what the title of this piece reminded me of.
What does that mean metad bet??
fear of clocks
fear of time
A bit of background on Cunt vs. Vagina as told by a well read poetic writer friend of mine:
Most words of insult usually come by way of the interpretation of those who initially begin using the word as an insult – usually those in power. Keep in mind that the use of the word cunt in an offensive form was originally begun by men.
Vagina originally was a word that meant (in not so many words) a sheath for a sword. A place to keep a sword. You get the analogy being made without me going into detail.
Cunt originally basically meant an unopenable tight slit in rock. When transferred to calling a woman a cunt – you can loosely translate it as calling her frigid, impenetrable – back in the day that is.
It’s interesting how science eventually chose vagina as the anatomically correct term…
besaq…
I’ve really enjoyed reading your articles. You obviously know what you are talking about! Your site is so easy to navigate too, I’ve bookmarked it in my favourites
May I just say what a comfort to find somebody who truly knows what they are talking about on the web.
You actually understand how to bring an issue to light and make
it important. More people ought to look at this
and understand this side of your story. It’s surprising you are not
more popular since you surely have the gift.
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