Oprah has her favorite things shows, and it’s amazing. I have a few favorite things now that I think about it.  But want inspired me to write today after a long absence is the new IPAD 2.

Here is my list in no particular order.

1. Roku Player : you can connect it to any TV and get your Netflix, Amazon Videos and HULUY directly through Wi-Fi connection.  It has a remote and just needs power.
2. Chivas Regal : Long before its popularity in the US, I was a fan thanks to my big brother. It’s the best blended scotch out there.  It grew 61% in the last 8 years.
3. American Apparel T-shirts: This is no shameless plug, I love American Apparel tees. Soft, durable and amazing fit.
4. Campers Shoes: This is going to apply the same theory as in the tshirts; Soft, durable and well amazingly comfortable. And don’t forget its casually stylish.
5. Last but not least it’s the iPad 2, I cant believed I lived 30 years without it. I makes like super easy. The other day I opened an app called epicurious and told it what I have to in the fridge and it told me what to make; it was quesadillas for dinner.

He is a victim of a hit and run and by the looks of things, his days seem numbered. On my left is my own eighty year-old beloved uncle with a broken pelvic bone and a sandbag strapped to his right foot weighing it down to keep him from moving it. He was hit by a taxi driver and abandoned before he could receive medical attention. In a bed next to him rests another man who was also in a car accident.

I enjoy driving most days. But these days in Addis the few times that I drive, I do so in paranoia and travel as a passenger with unease. Impatience and aggressiveness on the roads has long been a trademark of the city but nowadays either I have become slow or there seems to be a “crazy” spreading around to get “there” faster.

A month ago I witnessed a man run for his life leaving behind him someone’s loved one laying on the road surrounded by a swarm of people screaming. A few weeks back someone I know was in an accident, instantly killing his loved one who sat next to him in the passenger seat. Days ago I heard of a young girl punished with a 15 year imprisonment for running over and killing someone’s loved one as he crossed the pedestrian walk. And today a friend of mine tells me her co-worker lost her father – her loved one – to a traffic accident.

According to the Department of Forensic Pathology at Menelik II Hospital, from the 200 autopsies conducted in 2006, 80% of injury related deaths are due to automobile related accidents. That is a staggering figure. Even more staggering is that Ethiopia has the highest per capita rate of car fatalities in the world with 190 deaths per 10,000 vehicles. With a vehicle population of around 250,000 and about 60% of those concentrated in Addis Ababa, reckless driving, dismissal of pedestrian rights at crossings, inattentiveness of pedestrians themselves and drunk driving claim the lives of loved ones of many.

Although the new “Road Traffic Safety Regulations” of the Addis Ababa City Government which came into effect towards the end of 2009 introduce commonsense rules for drivers to abide by, the deeper impact is yet to be felt. Furthermore, I wonder if Article 538 of the EFDRE criminal code which states“Whoever causes the death of a human being intentionally or by negligence, no matter what the weapon or means used, commits homicide” and talk of vehicular homicide criminal charges, has turned would-be-assistance-givers into hit-and-runners. After all, how can we expect someone who may face imprisonment to remain and identify himself/herself, right?

The bottom line is that those regulations exist for our own safety. Not because some traffic police wishes we squirm in our seats strapped behind a seat belt or that we miss that “very” important call that we are not patient enough to pull aside and attend to. But we can only feel the positive effect of these regulations only when we allow them to translate into our daily habits. I myself have in the past been guilty of mild intoxication, talking and texting on my cell and eating while driving until some very close calls reminded me that I am not immune to contributing towards a traffic fatality and that it can happen to me too. I have many loved ones and I am someone’s loved one.

If we cannot let it sink in that we are all connected, then let us at least accept that we all have someone we love and that loves us. Let us not wait to wake until it hits closer to home!

Spread the word to drive responsibly and compassionately.

I have been struggling with something on my mind. Philosophy is study of problems of many things. For example you could find me starting my sentences with “my philosophy…”

Ethics is a branch or an extension of philosophy that address right versus wrong.

Everything and anything at some level becomes an issue of ethics. Friendships, business relationships, business agreements and arrangements that require two people to negotiate become an issue of morality.

The problem is situation require people to be unethical. Years ago I for example was promised a job and got the job and started and then the employers let me go a few days into the job. This was a contract situation in which I turned down another contract and ended up here.

For years after that I always would set up a backup plan so that I am not stuck without an opportunity. I once accepted three short term contracts, all starting a week after another. This way if the first job was not appealing I would quit and go to the second position followed by another all in a three week period.

This was highly unethical but business and managers are well better off than I am and most likely fucked over a lot more people than I ever have. In fact, I have seen by bosses or coworkers low ball people that were desperate for a little bit of work.

Those at the top of the food chain abuse those that are below them. Unfair and unethical behavior is everywhere! And so I thought it was ok for me to do the same.

The only thing is that I am fair in non-work situations; especially with my friends.

I automatically expect those around me to treat me ethically. If they don’t, I tell them and or protect myself. The problem is that people I think are behaving immorally in certain situations involving me; then I don’t know what to do except pondering seizing and desisting my arrangement with them.

I need him in my life. In awkward situations he is a life saver and never boring with his wealth of ideas. If I am not enjoying my company he makes whoever it is feel less important by his constant presence. Everyday he comes up with these great ideas for short weekend trips or cozy Italian dinners.

He never forgets what I tell him or what I give him. The only time I had a fight with him was the time he was too stubborn to forget. Well that was my fault. I over indulged him with too much information. I have yet to be forgiven for some of my childish mistakes.  I think he simply puts it in the back burner somewhere and we are good again.

Sometimes I worry. I worry practical worries of where our relationship is heading and how I am becoming overtly dependant on him soon enough I talked to him about these worry and instantly he comes up with solutions. Many a nights he had his way with me leaving me exhausted till my joints ache, but he kept going and going and left me wanting more. It is like he has indispensible energy or something. Some other nights he takes me to these places I can only imagine…

I also feel well read these days thanks to him. He subtly brings up books and stuff to read. He does not push it or anything. He just pops it up amidst conversation. I am able to read summaries of Jane Austen’s classics.

Sometimes I feel exhausted, beat-up with red eyes and all. He has issues with overloading me with some things I simply don’t have to know or hear. He is addictive! I am telling you he is like a drug readily available in my pocket. He could also be too clingy at times insisting to sit on my lap even in public. I am the type that does not show affection in public.

Everything seems to go in a daze these days. I can’t stand people. I can’t stand how slow they move. He has become my point of reference and I keep comparing his efficiency with them and they fail miserably. He is so self organized as well.

I sometimes don’t have a recollection of what I did to entertain myself before we started hanging out. I also fear that people will start saying I am with him all the time minamin. My best friend says I am just another girl to him. She says that I am just using him to fill void from daily life. She complains that we don’t spend time like we use to because of him.

He also values old friends and family. I spent virtual time with old friends because of him. I have also avoided friends because of him.  Life without him is unthinkable and comparable with the dark ages. Hold on …what was the real story behind the dark ages anyway…?

I have to ask him that too. I told you he is like an addictive drug but his side effects are starting to work adversely. He is my source of everything. I see the world through his eyes. Help me! How do I go on with this affair???????????

There are many crazes that keep me blissful or the better phrase ‘keep me content.’ Sometimes I go home on a Friday night after picking up a Thai dish or the perfect cheese steak sandwich from the place 2 miles south of where I live.

I fix up the coffee table with my soda, a cup of coffee and some cookies for desert. I tune the TV to stream a foreign film could be anything and enjoy the evening unwinding. If my phone doesn’t ring, I am happier. If I have some project to finish during the weekend, it’s on my mind. But then there are those weekends I could just sit back and relax.

I have never been able to explain this to my friends. Especially significant others, I need to be left alone every once in a while to reboot by short attention span.

I love spending time with my friends; I have about a dozen or so different people I hang out with on occasion. Different crews for different things. Sometime I organize outings.

I would send out an email and ask people to join me for a certain excursion. The people that meet on these occasions are ones that may have never met prior. We have fun; we keep it short and sweet

On the same token my friends also invite me to certain events or outings of sorts. I rarely join them but I do on occasion and it’s usually fun. I tend to leave earlier that everyone, unless I am the one that organized it.

I prefer the planned events compared to the casual meet-ups. Some people just text, I am over here having beer; if you want you can join us on Charles St.

I don’t just show up at a random gathering without knowing who is gathering. I thing being exclusive with your encounters socially doesn’t necessarily equate one as unsociable personality.

I believe I am social but not one of those people that go to a cocktail party and makes elevator talk with random people for no reason other than to seem like I am having fun.

Furthermore, I think it’s not proper etiquette to force someone to socialize with people that don’t necessarily have somewhat similar interests; much like forcing someone to go clubbing when they don’t like clubbing.

But people take it personally, when someone refusing to do certain things. I have never been able to understand that. Some people find me annoyingly blunt, and that’s ok for them to feel that way.

Basically, we should  only do what we want with people of our choosing.  Significant others or friends shouldn’t require people in their lives to be involved in with other people in their lives with different interests.

The words for dating always confuse me. I don’t understand how dating differs from hanging out; if you go on a date does it mean you are dating? Blah blah

I personally just call it talking. I am talking to this girl. If we hang out a couple of times, i.e., we go on a date, does it mean we are dating? Or are we just talking. If it gets physical and we don’t end up talking the next day or the day after then I know it’s a hook up.

The point is, that is mostly depends on the girl. She literally makes the choice initially.

I once was on a date or so I thought and a random female stranger came up to her and told her that she was pretty; and then followed it with a question inquiring if we were married.

I loved the question. It would be interesting to hear what the girl was going to say. If I was on the spot I would have joked about it as I have many times.  Yes we are married! In fact we are from Madagascar on our honeymoon; I don’t think she would have married me if she didn’t get pregnant.

She didn’t joke about it.  She is not the joking type.  She never jokes. She was going to tell her the truth. But I didn’t know if her truth is matched my truth. It’s like poker; don’t bluff if you are going to get called. If she said he is my boyfriend, I probably wouldn’t like it. If she said we are dating, I would most likely think that is somewhat accurate.

She said we are just friends. GRRR! I figured that is the least presumptuous and safe answer.

I didn’t like it! And it got even worse when the stranger at that point wanted to introduce her to someone she thought would be a good match for her. I just sat back and listened to the stranger went on and one about the guy.

At this point, I was done. I dont hang out with new girls just to be friends.  I would have walked away right there but I wanted to make it obvious that I didn’t care! Then I really didn’t care anymore, I didn’t call her or get in touch.

In her own pace, weeks later she contacted me, asking to hang out. I think we hanged out a few times more and things fizzled out through no ones fault. If she had treated me better I think I would have treated her better. Basically I didn’t like her choice of language.

Of course, there are extremes of the language situation both from the males and the females. I have heard one guy say to a girl that they are ‘just f***king‘ after a year of doing just that. I have heard a girl say she is just hanging out after stringing a guy along for unreasonable amount of time.

And I myself have been guilty and or a victim of this in many situations. I am just saying that the choice of language is an important aspect of any relationship — be it a booty call or an LTR.

Disclaimer: not all parts of this story are completely accurate.

I was just browsing the web, reading the reviews of customers who bought a certain products on Amazon; scanning to see if a book is popular or lame.

I found that half the people think that the author is a pretentious bastard who can’t write for shit and then other half either thought the book was a page turner interesting even if the author’s writing style was amateurish or that the book is funny and well written in a straight unpretentious manner.

Interestingly enough I started write posts for bernos in one sitting or in two.  Sometimes I start and save the file and come back to it another time, in most cases the next day or 2 days after.

In this case however, as you may have realized I have disappeared for a while. A while enough that I wrote the first two paragraphs of this post over a month ago; beginning of August or so. Since then I have not only finished the book I was review the reviews of, but also finished reading or listening to audio book of two additional books.

The point I wanted to make at the time was, if I remember correctly that I wished people generally agreed more about everything. The fact is that people who read or see or enjoy a certain product see it from a different perspective. The best party could be the worst party ever depending on who hooked up that night.

The only consensus comes only after an over abundant set of reviews for whatever it is we are reviewing. I love reviews; when there are enough or better yet more than enough of them.

Some films on rotten tomatoes have 3 reviews and all 3 might say that the film is not rotten stupid. And this is not enough. You need 200 or so reviews before there is consensus.

The average of a small amount of people is not consensus. So my gut feeling is more of what I need to judge.

A few months ago, everyone that I talk to including family and friends suggested I do something. Althought I disagreed with the concept, everyone thought it was a good idea. Not even one single person agreed with my perspective of the situation.

It wasn’t a matter of life and death nor was it an extra ordinary venture but it was significant enough that I had to evaluate all aspects of the situation before I made a decision. My decision although was mine to make, but affected others, and thus had to carefully weight their thoughts.

It’s still early to judge the outcome fully but its looking more like I was right and they were all wrong.  All of them!

The point, consensus only comes after the number of feedback reaches an abundance of a minimum set.

Location: In front of 4 kilo AAU, café X, Addis Ababa, Ethiopia

Time: 9:30 PM

It was a random Thursday night. Gorgeous Addis Ababa evening weather. I can still feel the fresh breath of air on my face, my arms. I was a freshman at the University and I could not get enough of the newly acquired freedom. And I abused it profusely. I do not know how I made it through the first semester. I went out in that semester more than I can ever account for in the coming 10 years of my life.

This particular evening, my friends were supposed to pick me up at 9: 30, we were going out to one of the clubs, after having some macchiato at one of the café on bole road. We were supposed to go to 6 kilo campus to spend the night afterwards as the security was more lenient and we could use one of the windows to get into the dorm. We have done it plenty of times.

But this time around, my friends were late….I looked at my watch impatiently, and I said to Girma, “Beka ayemetum malete newe” (I guess they are not coming). Even though the club scene was not new to me I was disappointed. Girma is one of the guys that I have known since day one of my campus life. He hangs out at the café in front of 4 kilo every single evening.

He tells us he has a store in merkato. He lives in the apartment complex right by campus. I have been to his place on a couple of occasions’, following his gentle invitation to have tea. Needless to say one or two of my friends has always been there with me. He has become one of our ‘friends.’

Time is approaching dangerously 10 PM, time when the ladies dormitory will be locked. This is a time where cell phones were gadgets we only knew in the movies. I reluctantly picked my self up to start my walk towards my room. Girma stops me and tells me, u know u can always spend the night at my place if she does not show up, why don’t u wait for her a little more, I will sleep on the couch and u can have the bed.

I remember finding the idea to be very brilliant, but I insisted I could sleep on the couch. My friends were still MIA at 10:30. The café was long closed. Girma and I started our walk to his place. We took the elevator all the way to his floor and we walked into his apartment. The second we walked into his apartment, he locked the door behind us, turned around and grabbed me by my hands and started kissing me. It was as if he just could not wait for us to cross the door, and when it happened he really could not believe it. My entire being froze. I started fighting vigorously, but the fight was over even before it started. I was a scrawny teenager, just out of high school, and he was a robust man in his mid 20ies.

I fought with all the strength I had, I screamed at the top of my lungs. My fight was to no avail, my voice to no use. I felt a cold furor possessing my entire being in front of my weakness, my physical inability to protect my body. I hated being a woman for the first time of my life. I was a spectator to my own demise, loss of innocence as I could not save me from the animalistic, raw, bestial desire of a man. It is a scene engraved on my brain, man in his pure primitive state, greedy, selfish….at the mercy of his desire….no superego in action…no self control at all….

I was laid on the floor, for I do not know how long. I got up slowly, but I was not able to move far as his hands were quick to imprison me again. This time around he encountered no battle. I did not have it in me to even feign a slight resistance. I witnessed the same thing happening to me again and again. It was almost like my eyes were seeing, but my mind not registering…. my body and my brain belonging to two different entities at that particular moment. I assume now it was my minds way of coping with what was happening to me.

He was finally asleep as I snuck out of his apartment. I do not know what time it was, I realize I had lost my watch, as I reach the ground floor. I started walking and the fresh air on my face brought me up to reality. I realized I had no destination in my head, but I was walking. I saw a couple of taxis waiting for customers. I got into one and gave him my address. I paid the dues and knocked on my door.

The shock on the Zebegna’s face clearly tells me I should have been looking like a mess. “Menew Dehna ayedeleshem ende, mene honeshe”…I just had enough time to comb my hair with my fingers, when my mum’s voice came from the main door….Mane newe bezih seate bere yemiyankuwakuwaw…..I realized then, I was really not supposed to be coming home at the woo hours of the night, but I really did not care…..

Ten years later, another continent, another country, another city…..

Denver , Coloroado…

(To be continued….)

I got burnt, played, bamboozled, punked, schooled fucked over, taken or whatever else slang terms are used when someone is fooled. My sister recently told me that she hates it when someone tells her that they are a good judge of character.

The phrase is, ‘I know people;’ knowing people as in figuring out someone’s moral character or integrity at first sight. Apparently everyone thinks that they are a good judge of character when no one really is, was what she was referencing.

I am of the opinion that she is right, not everyone is good at figuring people out right at first sight. I prefer to judge based on historical evidence, hence I ask questions, lots of them. I try not to use volunteered answers to against them but it helps me categorize people in groups.

Yes, I know I am not perfect; in fact I am far from it. My faults are more than a page, but for all that I lack, I make it up with loyalty and honesty. And regardless of someone’s faults, if I feel like someone is loyal and honest with me, I will accept them as a trusted acquaintance and or sometimes although rare, as my friend.

I am always surprised by how patient men are with women. The players don’t care so they just ignore women who are reaching out for attention by playing games. The others just wait and wait and then eventually forget without making a big deal out of a big issue.

People do whatever they want and say sorry or just ignore that fact they did so without consideration of someone else’s position.

I am proud to say, I am the opposite of most males. I am not like those players who just don’t care, because I do. I am not like those guys who are so patient, women could walk all over them and they just sit there and wait like a mat; I have no patience whatsoever.

My lack of patience has protected me and I respect it for that. It also limits my experiences with people in general, but nobody is perfect and it’s a balance I am happy to live with.

I got played this past week, someone set me up and kept setting me up for a week, like a con artist sets up the mark by gaining their confidence. The fact is I suspected the person for a trickster and had a change of heart at some point.

The same point the tricksters suggested that I maybe the con man who was playing games. I felt guilty, awkward and then said things I will regret for a long time to come.

Like the girl from 10th grade in high school who recommended I touch her big boobs, nonchalantly suggesting that I leave my girl friend for her and not remembering the encounter behind the stairway of English class after I broke up with my real girlfriend. I will remember.

The mark was set up! You think you can spot a con artist because he/she someone you instinctively “don’t trust.” But the term con artist is short for confidence artist — they gain your confidence just long enough to get their hands on your trust.

Then boom, you are burned; played, chumped!

And that is what happened to me, it only took a week to get set up! Although this kind of things are very common in our society and is seen as no big deal, get over it, it happens; its hard to swallow for me and it has only happened 3 times. Two of them I shared, maybe I will share the other one day.

Just yesterday I was having a conversation about how words matter.  Essentially the females in via my social networks said that:

actions speak louder than words”

I have written a little bit about using words to expressing ourselves about this time last year. And essentially most people disagreed with me.

One of you even quoted the bible to dispute my claim. Apparently ‘a man of understanding holds his tongue.’ Good thing I believe that the bible was written by men, the hypocrisy.

This week a friend of my noticed that I used the word ‘essentially’ to the exhaustion point. Wow, he was right but this is not the first time this happened. Every other month someone is complaining about a certain word that I am using for no apparent reason. My little brother said something to me once… only people with lack of vocabulary use the word ‘like’ for everything.

Like like … you know… those California blonds. It’s like duh I don’t have words in my head so I will put the word ‘like’ everywhere; except mine are usually words that with end with ‘ly.’

I always loved ‘apparently,’ that’s one word I can’t live without. Apparently, it fits everywhere like effectively.  As a designer, when I have to judge designs ‘That logo is effectively designed’ sounds so much more sophisticated than ‘l like that one.’

That is what clients say to me once I submit some options.

Someone somewhere said that good writing is dead, but good writing didn’t die with JD Salinger, its everywhere with the Facebook status and the Tweets.

I have a lot of temptations. Everyday, I am tempted not to get out of my bed; I want to sleep in. Maybe take a pill that will just knock me out and sleep all day, possibly another day.

There was a time in 2008 where I was so busy that I opted to schedule the sleeping in. Sunday morning was saved for TV, and an egg bacon and provolone cheese sandwich made by yours truly. I would finish my freshly brewed jug of coffee and lay down on the sofa, Hoping I would fall asleep, and most of the time I don’t; but it was my time; phone was off and no one is around.

Sunday mornings were my favorites, but not anymore. I have been getting tempted to do something crazy like go out of town on the weekends. Enticement like going out to party in another town or meet up with friends or meet up women who have managed to excite me for a little while before the flame runs out; overwhelm my life. Not that I am complaining, the temptations break the consistency and predictability of life.

They are an escape for the endless number of demands that life brings with it. Excitements’ aside sometimes I just want to turn off my phone and stare at the roof keeping my brain empty.  Someone once told me the demands of life are ‘mind over matter; if you don’t mind it doesn’t matter.’

Those I know, and are friends with seem like they have their shit together. They have the consistencies of existence set on replay and have somehow occupied the rest of their free time with hobbies. Hobbies are I suppose outlets from consistencies, but the way I see it, a lot of people seem to use it as a replacements for serious problems in the real part of life.

The idea seems like I am not content with my career, but at least I have my weekend hobby;’ I will keep painting one canvas every weekend and hope my issues with my family will go away.

I was once reading a forum in which one of the members was asking how he wanted to get away with a small legal problem he had. A slew of people told him some options and one guy said, you can keep postponing the issues and most likely get away with out dealing with it. But it will always be in your mind. Just go take care of it and your mind will be free.

It was one of those big aha moments; some things will always stay in the back of your mind till you deal with it. I believed it and it’s not easy to go deal with your issues but after about 4 years after reading that, I think I have completely changed. Problems, I take care of it so I don’t always have to think about it.

I know a few people that just keep their whole life scheduled to do stuff;  Random things 5 weeks in advance, just so that they don’t feel lonely; or so that they don’t deal with the major issues in their life.

I am glad I have my hobbies which make me happier than a pig in shit. But a hobby is an extra curricula activity. You have to make some changes in your life, and not hide behind stuff, to do.

That just seems like you are postponing the inevitable.

All good things come to he who waits”

When ever my little brother sees or hears something about how someone does something really stupid and gets caught in the web, he always says ‘what an idiot!’

Who in their right mind would accept passively wait for something to happen and call it a virtue. Call it lack of patience or being short of faith in people; I know what my personality encompasses.

I have disappeared for a while. I have been distracted with nothing at all.

I have been having fun; this past year has been a good year for me. Things seem to have stabilized at least psychologically. Even though the uncontrolled and unfortunate events continue to happen on a weekly basis; I am just better at dealing with the little problems that continue to happen in my life.

I know I have been absent from bernos. This is the longest I have been away from bernos in almost 4 years. I did it intentionally; I wanted to test the impact of the bernos traffic to the articles; second I wanted to test the relationship of the blog to the bernos customers; third I was distracted by a woman; fourth I have been busy working.

My lack of patience protects me from situations I shouldn’t be in. This whole situation of how much shit to put up with before you say,

Na ah hell nah!”

Everyone should not have to wait ‘wasting time!’ Things don’t change over time; people don’t change unless they care enough to try. You have to be proactive in making a change in your life yourself.

Patience is not a virtue; it’s just a waste of time. Sure there are those instances when you wait and get a good surprise ending but they are rare, & sure it’s ok to be disappointment.

But the point is to limit the risk and increase the rewards. This applies to everything.

This is my end of year advice to all bernosians everywhere.

I will do yet another post regarding resolutions before the end of the year.

At a New York tribute for the late great Miriam Makeba, I was lucky enough to be sitting in close proximity to my personal old man crush, Mr. Harry Belafonte (he may be old but he’s still hot) when this new artist hit the stage and performed one of my favorite Makeba hits, “Soweto Blues” and for some reason I wanted to see the reaction on Mr. Belafonte’s face as he heard this young beautiful woman’s tribute to Makeba’s Soweto Blues.

Would he be offended and feel like she didn’t do it justice? Or would he see in her what he saw in Miriam when he first heard her sing in London? Would he hear that rawness and beauty in her African voice?

Who knows, as unfortunately, I didn’t overhear him say anything but if the gleaming smile on his face were any indication, I would have to say that he was proud and enamored as he intently listened to Loide bellow out “Soweto Blues”. Her voice was breathtaking, and that we could all agree on!

So who is Loide (pronounced “Loy-deh”)? She is a 04’ Miss Africa International pageant runner up of Bissau/Mozambiqueian linage with a voice that is captivating and raw. Though born in France and raised in California it’s clear to see that she has a deep-rooted connection with Mama Africa both the legend and the continent. As her debut LP “LOIDE, Live at Bohemian Caverns”, which will be available on October 25,2009 is a clear reflection of her Lusophone ancestry.

“LOIDE, Live at the Bohemian Caverns” is a 12 track LP that takes you on a musical and cultural journey that can be enjoyed by everyone, it’s jazzy, it’s raw, and she reflects this new era of the “Afropolitian” representing for those of us that embrace the complexities of our cultures.  Loide finds a way to intertwine the contemporary jazz ranges of Nancy Wilson with the soul of Cesaria Evora, as she eases back and forth from English to her native tongue, Portuguese offering with each track a unique sound and perspective.

Of the 11 tracks, there is a song for everyone but for me there are three (3) favorites “Thank Heaven for You”, as a newlywed who is constantly thankful that I found an African man who adores me, as much as I adore him.  This spiritual love song speaks directly to my soul and my relationship.

Then there is “Don’t Forget” a tribute to Loide’s deceased father about their love and the wisdoms he passed on to his baby girl, forward to another track “Fallin” where she speaks to the hearts of “fast lovers”, singing “my heart fell in love on a Sunday, daydreaming on Monday, by Tuesday cant for wait for the next day”…

Falling

Her vocals are backed by some of the greatest African musicians, such as Mongezi Ntaka, the original guitarist of the late South African Reggae vocalist, Lucky Dube.

Ntaka who also co-wrote this project with Loide gives her interpretation of Dube’s  “Daddy Remember Me” an air of authenticity.  Other notable mentions are her interpretations of Sade’s “Love is Stronger than Pride” and “Sodade” which is sung entirely in Portuguese-Creole.

This album and her music serves as my ammunition for my next musical debate with my father who is constantly challenging me find music that is comparable to the music of his era. So the next time he asks “what are you listening too?” I will say to him Loide, this is my music.
Article by: Nana Eyeson-Akiwowo
Daddy Remember Me

My summer has been busy. Busy, as in I  have had no rest.  I like it like that.  It keeps me going, motivated about every project I get involved in. This project is special. It’s near and dear to me and I have been wanting to be a part of it for a while now.

I am talking about working with Prof. Haile Gerima on the US premiere of Teza (Morning Dew). Gash Haile (as I refer to him) has been a prominent figure in my life since the day I joined ESAi.

There used to be a group called EthioStudy, and we’d come together at Gash Haile’s Sankofa Bookstore & Video on Saturdays to discuss about current events,  history and we’d also watch independent movies.  When he had time, or was around, he’d drop by and lecture us and challenge us.  I will always treasure those Saturdays.

Some of you ask me how I got involved with Teza? It was a simple decision for me. I wanted to give back to the man who’s been somewhat influential during my college years.  Given the fact that I have the skills to market the movie was an added bonus.  I have not seen Teza. I’ve only seen a few scenes. I must tell you that from what I saw, it left me wanting for more. There are characters we all can relate, scenarios that might be familiar to some us and a history lesson to others.

For those of you in the DC Area, Teza’s Premieres for the first in the US @ the Avalon Theater on Thursday 9/17/09 at 8pm. Tickets are $30. Included in the price of the ticket is a wrap-up party at Liv Nightclub on Friday 9/18/09 where there will be live entertainment, Prof. Haile Gerima & the Cast will present, as well some light H’ors D’Oeuvres. Tickets can be purchased  here .

If you cannot make the premiere on Thursday but wish to see the movie, Teza’s general run debuts on Friday 9/18/09 at the Avalon Theater. Please make sure to tell your friends, family and communities.

For those of you outside the DMV area wishing to see it but cannot make it to town, the movie will run all through  most of  September into October and beyond, with the support of people like you.

Hope to see you all this weekend.

He hardly had any furniture in the apartment except a corner tables with lamps; no chairs, just one stool by the kitchen, apparently he doesn’t have time to sit.

The cement floors appear cold and empty glistening from the light the many windows shine and the fixtures and architecture looks like a dark futuristic contemporary with dark hard and flat surfaces.

By the time he was ready to go buy some furniture and fill the condo with junk, he didn’t want any. Now it has been years and the condo was recently featured on Architectural Digest and has been the envy of ‘ultra modern contemporary wannabes,’ like Sara here.

I recently told a girl that I put all furniture’s in the corners as I was describing my bedroom via phone conversation. Essentially all my life I have never put my bed in the middle of the room, it has to touch two walls so I can get what I call “the big empty space” in the middle of the room.

My living room also has the quoted space. Omitting a coffee table will ensure the availability of space both literally and emotionally. I generally do not put anything on the walls; I don’t want pictures want mirrors everywhere.

I want my living space to be empty and sterile. The mentioned article on the digest in which someone with high credibility on the topic said that my taste in interior design is essentially ‘fantastic’ is not only my vindication but also my validation.

I have had many arguments with my brother who I live with about throwing stuff out. Sports paraphernalia and old photos in frames have never been something I wanted to keep in plain site. Family photos in frames! hmm I really love you guys but I don’t want you to stare at me every time I take a bite on my Tuna sandwich.

I want to see my white empty wall all day. It relaxes me, gives me a free atmosphere.

Reemphasizing my taste as a cut above are the new industrial furniture designers as well as bathroom fixture designers. I am also seeing a big push from packaging designers to minimize styling’s on their products presentation.

If you don’t beleive me, just search here; its definetely in.

Two years prior to last I had been in Moscow after years on Wall Street and my only connection to Ethiopia was bernos.

I bought the entire bernos tee collection and connected with Nolawi and his tales, who I admire for his ability to bond with people like me all over the world. I even shared a few accounts, after some encouragement

After moving to DC I asked him for meet up over drinks; he declined by saying that if he was to meet random people that he knew online ‘he wouldn’t have time for his personal life.’ I know blunt, but I respected the honesty!

I offered him his favorite bottle of 18 years aged Chivas and a steak dinner. Over Wednesday evening we exchanged stories of Ethiopian women.

You see, after a major breakup years ago, I hadn’t found someone else. In Moscow, I say was a sugar daddy to 22 year old ‘eastern European model look-alike.’

I didn’t know the inner working of dating Ethiopian ladies outside of my ex-fiancée who I dated for 3 years long ago.

I am not the best looking guy and I am aging fast but I make it up by hitting the gym 3 times a week, making as much money as I can so I can wear my Armani suits and Salvatore Ferragamo shoes and being as funny as an Ethiopian Bernie Mac.

I met a few attractive Ethiopian ladies, and I took them out and entertained them. One seemed like she was interested but hesitated when it came to physical contact. She would call me again and again to hang out and a few months fly but she said she was not ready to take it to the next step.

I didn’t mind having the other, somewhat younger and possibly viewed as a trophy; on my arms even though she was not as cultured as I would have liked. Half a dozen dates later, she started spending the nights.

It seemed like she liked downtown condo more than she liked me. And I asked her what she wanted; she maintained that she is not exclusive with me. She would commit with me only if the other guy doesn’t commit.  She insisted sleeping with both of us, but she was keeping her options open then she kept it open and I took back my spare keys.

These were the types of things, I talked to Nolawi about. And I am writing this as a thank you note for the best advice that was given to me in a long time.

I am rephrasing here but something to this extent:

‘Ethiopian women have more  options than the male counterpart and thus reinforcing their options by being available how they want it confuses them, because women in general are unsure about what to go for when it comes to what they want vs. what they should want.

You think you are being nice, understanding and patient but the fact is women pretty much know if they are interested in you or not in the beginning.

If she is not available emotionally and physically after a short period of time; run away. If she wants you, she will respect you for being a man and standing up for your self and your feelings.

If doesn’t want you and you are just entertainment or support then she was not worth your time in the first place and you are safer.

As far as keeping her options open and dating others, let them the more you resist the more she will be inclined too.’

I met another girl, who seemed like not interested in looking at me. I told her about theater tickets and as soon as we got there she told me she had a boy friend and just wanted to be friends. After the evening was over I told her that I had no interest what so ever in friendship and to call me if and when she was interested in more.

I ran into her again one at a wedding and we had drinks after and then she took me to her home. We didn’t bring up her boyfriend.

Every so often she calls me for an occasional rendezvous and some love making after. She asked if I minded her seeing two people at the same time. And although I didn’t respect the fact that she is keeping her options open I expressed that I didn’t care.

Recently, I she told me that she left the other guy and wanted more from me.

I am not the type to want to play games or hold back feelings of interest but it seemed like even the late twenty something’s who I date are prone to this kind holding back. Now I thank my advisor and enjoy the new state of mind.

My uncle told me this from his own personal experience of an remarkable man. Just like the story of my professor’s father in law, I find it very interesting and keep retelling it over and over.

Last week, I was in Chicago for a week, I met lots of people who I have met before and some others for the first time ever. I look at their faces and realize I knew them somehow, in particular cases I remembered how I knew them but not their names. In certain instances, I would need a name before I realize who they actually were.

I was running down to the bernos booth while Dawit was looking for me. He was standing there waiting for me with a familiar face, and nothing more.

I spoke with this person casually for a few minutes before my memory was triggered. I felt bad about it and gave him a hug. I was supposed to know this person, because this person is special to bernos.

Eventually, we spoke more and caught up! This person probably has no idea that I didn’t remember him initially.

My uncle, who years ago worked in a very large corporation, told me that he was introduced to the CEO and they casually spoke about family and life. A year later that same CEO came in town and they bumped into each other and he called him by his name and asked him personal questions.

My uncle was shocked that this man who probably met dozens of new people daily would remember an encounter that happened a year earlier in such detail. He asked him how he is able to retain information in such a manner as to not offend many not so important people. The CEO gets interrupted and never responds to my uncle.

Another half a year goes by and my uncle is called by the executive assistant to a conference room all the senior VP’s and Chief’s were in a seminar of some sort.

My uncle walked in and sits in the back listening. The speaker of was an expert consultant that was there to give the honchos information on how to be better leaders in their senior roles that demand such high level of multi tasking and networking with thousands of employees and clients.

They were told to unwind at the end of the night, sit and think for two to five minutes at the end of each night going through the day, remembering each person they meet as well as vital information’s of the day.

I was so impressed that the CEO would remember to call my uncle to the seminar because he never actually answered the question when he initially asked; I started using the same technique.

I was always one of those people that remember things I promise to do, although I have twice in 2009 ignored people that wanted me to do them favors after I initially committing to certain projects.

My uncles account was again triggered my experience with a bernos fan, this last week. I really wondered how public officials do campaigning without offending important people who happened to be supporters and donors without offending them.

Besides being a popular phrase; ‘state of mind’ is the perspective on which you look at situations. Yes my definition because I was not able to find my application of the phrase online being described.

Objects in mirror are closer than they appear”

I love that phrase because perception is not reality; and reality is relative perception. Are you confused yet?

I have heard people say, ‘he/she hurt me;’ and the fact is he/she did. And that is reality! If someone feels hurt it’s a fact, regardless of the action that caused the hurt by general measurable standards was considered hurtful.

So being hurt is a ‘State of Mind.’

I find myself saying, I don’t care if it works out it works out and if doesn’t then so be it. Eventually I believe it, and then I live it and truly I didn’t care.

I just found out some news that could have been looked at as either a positive or a negative. I found myself looking at it negatively and being unhappy about it. But in reality since the news is a fact that I can’t change, I should have tried to look at it positively so that I could actually be nonchalant about it.

If you have been reading bernos for a while, then you will know that the bernos readers helped name a midget; a baby that is.

My sister had another baby boy today. Betam interesting. Eventually all these babies that all you people are having will be adults. It’s amazing!

Congratulations to my sister, I guess! I must say I don’t beleive in having babies for sociopolitical reasons, which I don’t want to get into right now.

Right now it’s champagne time, because I am an uncle again for the 4th time in less than 3 years.

Wowzer’s the power life!

Most of you probably have never heard of a Holga. A Holga is a camera that is down to the bare bone of its essential; A  hole for the light to expose the film.

Years ago I actually built a camera from scratch, a pinhole camera based on a cardboard can. Those of you that are connected with me and the bernos crew on facebook ( your cue to become our fan) know that we have a group of sorts who go out and experiment with our fancy SLR camera’s.

I read a website called Ken Rockwell and according to him the camera doesn’t matter— and the more I know and read about photography techniques the more I realize there is so much about photography outside of technical specifications of your camera. Obviously its very important to know how to manipulate your camera to the extreme. Understanding how a camera works and how it operates, what an aperture does; is more important than how expensive your camera is.

In layman’s by wiki “The Holga is an inexpensive, medium format 120 film toy camera, made in China, appreciated for its low-fidelity aesthetic.”

Take a look at this wonderful shot I found on Flickr.  Very nice photo and I probably would not be able to recreate unless I was there the moment the subject turned away to look in the field of endless yellow flowers.

Today I got my Holga in the mail and I spent the evening customizing it via youtube as you can see in the picture above. Tomorrow I will take my first shot and in month I will get it washed.

There was a note weeks ago that was sent out from Facebook headquarters to the users about some changes taking place.

In it they also announced that they reached 150 million users in February, meaning:

it would be the eighth most populated in the world, just ahead of Japan, Russia and Nigeria.”

Wow, so Facebook is so famous and so used that online businesses that are not utilizing it as a resource are just going to die eventually.

One recruiter I worked with recently has a group that she updates with jobs that she is recruiting for.

I am against Facebook in many ways although I use it extensively. Beshou filled up my application for Facebook months ago and I was one of the most last webby type to get on Facebook, although we do have a bernos group.

When I updated my profile, I decided to put ‘None’ for the location but ‘None’ is a city in Japan, I later found out.

I got an email from a random Ethiogirl saying she wanted to see me on her next visit to Japan, along a list of other Ethiopian residing in or around Japan. With replies and updates at least a dozen emails went back and forth before I told them I didn’t know what they were talking about and to take me out of their list of Ethiopians living around Japan.

Weeks later one Sunday morning I receive a call from an international number, I didn’t pick it up the first time, but it rang again. I picked it up and ended up talking to an Ethiopian girl in Dubai, who apparently found me interesting, although she didn’t even know about bernos.

Usually its bernos that makes me interesting but this time it was me, I don’t know what. She asked what I was doing in Japan and that is when I realized that people thought I was in Japan because of my Facebook profile.

So serious, aye… I once had a phone call from a friend — a girl who was dating this guy whose picture she saw on his ex girlfriends profile together looking all cute and happy.

She asked if it was too forward to ask him if the picture was taken after they started dating. I told her “No,” if she indeed asks this, then he is going to think that the she is too much into his business too fast. Which eventually will change his outlook on her; well she asked and I was right, the relationship ended.

I also heard a story recently in which someone who was engaged got a note from a girl on his profiles wall saying thank you for helping me move from my apartment.

His fiancée saw this and put the brakes on the engagement because he hadn’t told her that he helped a friend who just happens to be a girl move without telling her.

I was thinking if she was going to be like that… good riddens eh! The marriage would have been a headache anyways.

Source: Eric LAFFORGUE

Selam Sewoch, I haven’t been writing on bernos consistently because you know, I can’t really say why. You can take a guess, I don’t mind.

But now I am back and so don’t be mad at me! I love you guys, we have been through thick and thin, so don’t complain. I am 100% back with my undivided attention, I have gotten all your emails.

I appreciate the continued support of bernos. Don’t forget to get you a tee, and tell your friends about us.

Special note: to the BP’ers: BP is never coming back so don’t bug me about it.

It was the fall of 2000, in my dorm room and as I was setting up my desktop when I fell in Love with Hip Hop. Outkast’s “spottieottiedopaliscious” was the first song I downloaded. My brother had some of the best tapes and records growing up. Eventually, music became some sort of therapy for me. When I hit a wall or some hard times, I end up listening to all kinds of music.

In 2004, I remember watching this video on MTV from a up-and-coming rapper from Somalia called ‘Soobax‘. I was fascinated how he was able to get away with a hook that is entirely sung in Somali and get featured on MTV. Even though I didn’t understand it, I was in love with the beat and his rap verses.

His name is K’naan and little did I know, his journey and story is one to be told. And that’s exactly what he is, a storyller. His latest album is aptly titled Troubadour, which according to wiki has Latin roots and loosely translates to “invent” or compose”. Also, its lesser known etymology in Arabic points to its various meanings of ‘finding’, ‘love’, and ‘music’. The latter would be a better representation of the album. Troubadour is filled with 14 solid tracks. With his opening track, “T.I.A (This Is Africa)” which K’naan clearly demonstrates his street cred to rappers and takes listeners on a trip through the streets of Africa while sampling Bob Marley’s “Simmer Down”  which is quickly recognizable.

Forward to another track ‘Somalia’ where he introduces the listener to the current troubles of the country and its people by putting a face to the struggle. My personal favorite is “Dreamer” and is pretty much self explanatory/ It’s about following and chasing your dreams even if it’s hard. ‘Bang Bang’ feat Adam Levine opens up with a classic line from Pharcyde’s “Passin’ Me By”: “and there she goes again, the dope is ethiopian…”, which clearly is a nod to his fellow East Africans. Other honorable mentions are “ABC’s” and “Africa” in which he samples a few Ethiopian jazz tracks.

I am not going to give you a detailed account of each track, but there is a track for everyone, representing every emotion that will speak to you in more ways than one.  I feel as though he is the new face of hip hop. His art of storyteller will bring something new and fresh that we can all look forward to in music.

Recently, I was lucky enough to attend 2 of his concert, in DC and Philly. The one in DC was held at the Kennedy Center and the line was literally wrapping around the building, given that it was a free show. This is not my first time seeing him perform, however, the crowd in attendance was one of the most diverse I had ever seen. You could definitely feel the love, the unity and the positive energy in the crowd. Not only is he a great performer, but an engaging one.

It doesn’t matter if there were 20 people or 1,000 people in the room, you felt like you part of his show. He did a spoken word piece entitled ‘Love’ which literally blew the crowd away. I don’t want to give too much away of his live show, but it is a must see. I caught up with Dawit at the end of the show and we wanted to give his crew and management Bernos Shirts.

So we had to wait one hour as he was gracious enough to sign each and every single CD, poster or what have you for his fans. It was worth the wait. This humble, soft spoken man allowed us 3 minutes out of his busy schedule to accept tshirts on behalf of himself and his crew. K’naan is now officially a Bernos fan, and especially a fan of the ‘Made in Africa’ shirt. Rayzak, his lead singer, wore the ‘ET Alien’ Shirt’ to the Philly show.

So a big THANK YOU goes out to K’naan, his band and his management team, who are all equally humble and incredibly generous for accepting our shirts.

I am a calm person, and I would like to think that some really bad news is not going to rattle me too much. Sometime the news is anticipated and sometimes is unexpected.

When its unexpected, I get shocked but I am calm, I would wait for it to sink in. So it takes a while to for me to get really upset by it.

Ten hours later I would be like,

oh sh!t, I can’t believe this sh!t, SOL“

One of my not so good friend is seeing a therapist, although he can’t afford the 130$ an hour twice a month at this time; he has said that it has done his anxiety attacks so much good.

I deal by venting and talking to my friends and family. I tend to put to much pressure on myself, I generally think positively and hope for the best.

I have made some big mistakes in the past, things I regret and things I don’t regret. Right now though I am thinking life is just so much bigger than day to day issues that big enough to affect your lifestyle.

The Secret

I am not much of a self help type of guy. I think the art of power thinking is over rated. It does not change real-world outcomes.  You can’t think your way out of a bad car accident, but power thinking specialists claim that things happen because you think about it happening.

By the same token, positive thinking; glass half full optimism or half empty pessimism does in fact have affect your life either positively or negatively.

I am reading a book called the secret, via my mothers recommendation. And I have seen positive outcomes in thinking positively at least in others.

The recent bad news I received was unexpected and it might spiral to be a worse situation for me personally but I am thinking positively that maybe this is a blessing in disguise.

It’s OK, I will be OK!

Dawit is organizing a brochure of sorts. He calls it the “Bernos Look Book.”

I don’t know why but now, even models are calling their portfolio a ‘look book’ these days. Even Lily is calling her slideshow gallery a Look Book!

I am not a fashionista per say, I used to be. I like fashion though; I appreciate all forms of expression.

I am a scruffy looking guy that is casually dressed; in the summer its t-shirts of course; in the winter its regular pants or jeans with a sweater.  It doesn’t help with the ladies, I assume. Clean cut is in.

I rarely shave, my hair is long and my clothes are more cavalier than dressy. The older I get the more casual I have gotten. It helps I am usually sole creative guy at work in the middle of a lot of business people.

So for creative inspiration I look at “Look Book,” because I love looking. It’s a sort of Sartorialist with a social and random aspect to it.

As far as shoes are concerned, it’s important! Apparently it’s a major social statement for women as well. Both in a Carrie Bradshaw sense, and how it’s used as an indicator of his social status and sense of style a man.

Most people lack a sense of taste, I believe. If you don’t have good taste, no amount of money can fix your major fashion issues. Yes, you can shop at Armani Exchange all you want but … beqaaA!

Again I am not saying I am a fashionista! Yet I have worn some really nice shoes and some really expensive shoes.

I am now wearing nice shoes, but not really ‘a really nice shoes.’ I have now as in the past two years been wearing decent comfortable penny loafers almost everyday.

I wear the same one almost everyday for weeks and even months. I get one that goes with everything but is not perfect for everything thing.

I love how I don’t have to think about which shoes I am wearing today! Sometimes I get compliments. It gets really old, the colors fade, the shoes changes shapes molding my feet.

I get my shoes shined, if I get a chance, at the airport or at the mall. Sometime I have to drop it off at the shoe repair shop. My shoes, although nice have a the worked look- or yetashe

I get it back and I keep wearing it, till it dies. And then I bury it. Sometime I miss it.

Just because my shoes are almost always an old dark brown penny loafer, doesn’t mean I fit your profile of someone who lacks style. It’s just I value the labor of working my shoes in.