This happened several years ago but I remember it like it was yesterday….. I received a call, “leqso endetedershe, ye Selam ehet arfalech”

I said “ Ehet? What are you talking about she doesn’t have a sister she only has two brothers. Which Selam are you talking about?” She replied, “The Selam we both know.” At this point I was totally and completely confused then I thought oh ok some Ethio’s refer to friends or cousins as ehetoch. I didn’t want to ask too many questions as I knew it wasn’t her sister but a close friend or relative.

So I go to the leqso and it was a very sad moment. The family was uncontrollably crying. When I saw my friends, I asked “guadegnwa nat?” One girl said “nope we all just found out Selam had a sister.” Say what? Supposedly only few people knew of Selam’s sister and our group was not part of the few people. We knew Selam very well so this was a true shock.

Selam, her parents and two brothers live in the US and her sister, Meskerem, was left behind in Addis.

Yes, unfortunately Meskerem was mentally and physically challenged and was never part of the family photo’s or gatherings. Never, ever mentioned not even in passing by Selam. She has always referred to herself as the only girl.

At this point, I was disgusted and deeply saddened that just because her sister was challenged she was a shame for the family.

Why deny Meskerem the family she so needed to help her deal with her challenges? It was almost like she was born and died the day of the leqso. I was puzzled and mourned not her death but her life. This girl lived being rejected when she needed love and loved when she died.

She was supposedly locked up in a room away from the public eye. She was only 27 years old when she died and I was told she died of natural causes. I assume the natural cause may be rejection or depression. I don’t wanna judge and ridicule the family but I was very sad that day beyond the leqso.

I was confused as to why there was a leqso at all for someone they never acknowledged as part of their family. Guilt, is the only answer I could come up with.

Til this day I never got the answers to the why’s but just feel for Meskerem and what she must have gone thru in her 27 years on earth. I often think of her and how life could’ve been so different if she had also had the chance to come to the US.

Selam’s sister finally had a name, a face, and the acceptance she craved from her family and the world. When I saw her photo I saw a beautiful girl with beautiful long, braided hair and she had eyes that longed for love.

Even though it has been several years since your death, RIP Meskerem.

names and some detailed have been changed to protect the identity of the persons involed!

There’s romance then there’s romance Ethio style. How he addresses me and talks to me in both Amaregna and English in itself leaves me speechless. When he say’s yene konjo, nefse, or ewedeshaleu it melts the skin off of me but I’m not selfish I give as much as I receive if not more.

I hear a lot of complaints from both the Ethio men and women ‘that there’s not enough romance in their relationship.‘ I think people seem to overlook the day to day gestures of love as a given he/she is owed that. No you’re not! You don’t have to walk on the beach or sit in the car overlooking the Grand Canyon to be romantic. Also romance is not what men give and women receive it’s a two way street.

Everyone wants to be surprised with a nice dress/suit and a helicopter waiting to whisk you off to a 5 star beach resort. Wait there’s Cristal champagne and caviar waiting in the room. Then when you get there the bath is filled with milk and rose petals spread around the bed. Wow nice, now that’s what Brad gave to Judy on that TV show but then you forget Brad and Judy had a script to follow with a million dollar budget to create your fantasy.

I’m not saying it can’t or does not happen but it’s rare and it shouldn’t set the standard for what romance is supposed to be like. It could be a message written or left on a voice mail with a simple “I miss you” or “I’ve been thinking of you.” It could also be the look that you get or the touch that you feel. Romance has no limits.

If you’re not getting what you want then tell your partner but be realistic.

I personally like the simple things in romance. Making me smile when I need it. Making me feel good when I want it. Buying me something when I least expect it. I say this because I think Valentines Day is overrated. It’s a given a man is wired to buy you a dozen roses that cost $200 and those damn chocolates and a woman will buy you a cheesy looking boxer. So I say don’t wait to be told how and when to be romantic you decide that for yourself.

Romance it up! Be spontaneous and creative do it at the spur of the moment. Being romantic shouldn’t require writing up a business plan and it also shouldn’t be because you owe your partner for what he/she did last month. Be sincere and devote your undivided attention to them for that moment in time.

Now let’s turn off the lights and light some candles…..

I feel defining your relationship and your mutual decision to be or not to be exclusive is very important. Many couples spend time dating but never discuss the point they’ve crossed from just seeing each other to being committed. Exclusivity doesn’t apply to every relationship but having “the talk” should.

I’ve heard some people say, “if you’re dating and you’ve passed the initial sexual moment and you’ve been seen in public together then you’re exclusive” Well I beg to differ. What happens if one decides to date someone else and the other had expectations of a future together? Isn’t it easier to just talk about it? Exhibit A: So one guy tells me “she was fun, exciting then she dropped the ball about getting a key to my place” I asked “what was your answer?” he said, “well I never knew we were serious.” This is after about 9 months of dating. Avoid the misunderstanding and the gray areas and stop assuming what you want or think is what your partner does as well.

Sex vs Exclusivity

You can have sex, twice a day, everyday for the next 365 days but unless you have talked about it and agreed to be exclusive, you may just be a booty call. When you see him with someone else you can’t get pissed because he is not your bf. Sleeping together is not a ticket to a committed relationship it just means you’re sleeping together.

If he opens up to you and tells you his childhood and family stories that is also not a sign you’re exclusive it just means he likes to talk and feels comfortable telling you.

If you’re just dating and he starts leaving his stuff at your house that also doesn’t mean you’re exclusive it just means he is messy or lazy.

If he calls you every weekend to go out and you say yes that still doesn’t mean you’re exclusive it just means you enjoy each other’s company.

How about asking, “are you seeing anyone else, if no, then I really want us to be exclusive” That’s not what I would say but just as an example. Let’s talk about ‘us’ moment is the most romantic moment you can spend together. Him telling you what he likes most about you and you doing the same. Discussing not to be exclusive is also ok just as long as you’re both on the same page, you avoid disappointment.

I remember when I was in elementary school this little boy in my class asked me, “will you go with me?” I said “where?” he was embarrassed and said, “no I mean will you be my girlfriend?” of course my reply was “ewwww no way” I never forgot that moment and later realized even that little boy knew the importance of talking about “us.”

So baby can we talk for a minute?

I went to a wedding or was it a child’s birthday party? I kinda got confused the phone call I received was an invitation to a 4 year old birthday. Upon arrival, I asked myself did I misunderstand is this really a wedding?

What’s with some Ethio parents giving their children a birthday party in an all out wedding style? If it’s a child’s birthday party then shouldn’t more children be invited? If it’s a child’s birthday party shouldn’t it start early instead of 4pm?

If it’s a child’s birthday party why are they serving alcohol? If it’s a child’s birthday party why are they inviting more adults who have no children? If it’s a child’s birthday party why are they serving kurte? If it’s a child’s birthday party why is there music for adult style dancing? If it’s a child’s birthday party then why is the ending time 1am?

All these questions I ask myself whenever I’m invited to a child’s birthday party. I don’t have children but I somehow have fallen into these invitation lists. I went to one recently and yes I took lots and lots of pictures of the grand buffet prepared for the adults and the tiny table for the kids.

The kids were being served a once frozen and recently micro waved chicken nuggets, chips, and hot dogs. Their beverage consisted of juicy drinks. Entertainment was….well one tired looking, almost ready for retirement, clown who wants to practice painting faces for fun and get paid in the process. Well it’s all good for a child’s birthday party right?

Wrong….look over across the room and you find a grand buffet set up for a full course consisting of doro wat, kitfo, kurte, gomen, salata, etc. Oh and let us not forget the full bar. It started at 4pm and ended after 1am. By around 7pm the adults were laughing and having a good time. Yes I enjoyed myself very much and for a second didn’t even notice the birthday boy.

Cake cutting for who again? There were two cakes one from a special European bakery and had rum in it and the mom announced this is only for the adults. Huh? Then one small chocolate like cake from a local bakery for the kids with way too much icing and didn’t look appealing at all. I didn’t get it but then it was not my child’s birthday party so I shut up and enjoyed it.

I wonder do they invite more adults to get more gifts or are they using their child’s special day as an excuse to let loose and have a good time?

There were about 10 kids versus about 40 adults. If they invite me I will go but I have always wondered….hmmmm….don’t you think a child’s birthday party should be filled with kids, fun, and activities for the kids?

Growing up I was always afraid of the dark and I remember one night I was so scared because my sweet ehet decided to tell me they’re coming after me, but she didn’t say who they were. I imagined the leboch or geboch coming to take me away from my happy home.

What is a girl to do but run, more like I tippy toed with power into my parents bedroom and woke up my emaye, crying actually sobbing. She was startled and said, “wey, afer leblalesh men honshibegn?” I told her they were coming to get me and my sis saw them.

My mom was clearly upset and told me to get into bed with her. Oh how wonderful it was to be snuggled up against emaye the whole night and the bad people couldn’t touch me. Ohhhh and my poor sis was all alone in the bedroom, that’s what she gets. I wanted to say, nanananana mom will kick your butt but I fell fast asleep, like an infant.

The next morning, my instigating sweet ehet, got in big trouble for scaring me the night before. Because she always loved putting the fear of God into people, she saw getting in trouble as an encouragement and she got in trouble all the time. Even our older brothers were scared of her. Whew what power she had in that household. Who dare mess with her! Our father always thought us to fight for what’s ours and never back down.

Being the only two girls in a house dominated by boys, that meant a lot. The only problem was my sister had enough bravery for the both of us. Only she can mess with me but God forbid one of our brothers tried to even touch the hair on my head, she came out huffing and puffing and waiting to hear ‘Toro’ to go charging at them.

That morning my mom explained to me, “mariam eYalech manem aynekashem, zare Tewat anegag’erat eshi eTbeQatalew belaGnalech” So I got my mom and Mariam on the payroll, how you like me now! That confidence didn’t last, my sis had another plan up her sleeve…that afternoon she asked me, “did the bad people get you last night?” Ha, if she only knew the people I got working for me. So I told her about my new found silent partner, Mariam, who is working hard to protect me. She said, “anche Qil, mariam motalech eko” and she goes on telling me how silly I was to believe it and that mom only said that because she’s sick and tired of me running to her all the time with tears.

If I went to my dad he would kill her so I went to mom to lesson the blow. The terror started all over again. Now who do I believe…..I love my sis for the good memories and I love my mother and father for teaching their two girls to fight for what’s theirs.

What is memorable childhood story?

How many times do I hear my sister, telling everyone she talks to, every darn morning,

congratulations you’ve made it to today?“

Too many times! She says it with a chirpy voice like she’s giving you the winning lotto numbers. My answer to her is always “right back atchya.” Does this woman ever give up? No! Her husband usually follows with, “ditto!” and her son, “congratulatin u male it to tolay.”

I asked her once, “why oh why do you have to say that to everyone, everyday?” her answer, “why not? aren’t you happy you made it to today?” Smart ass! My sister, my best friend….don’t let me run into her before I’ve had my coffee, arghhhhhh; she may not like my response. What ever happened to good morning, good afternoon, or good evening?

I made fun of her one day and said “if I want the Brady bunch I’ll reach for the remote until then, quiet on the set!” She tried to be cute and started singing…it’s a story of a man named Brady…ha ha

I never took to heart her positive greeting, until one day we get a call about a relative, in Addis, who is terminally ill. One sleepless night I was thinking about people who have been formally notified that ‘the end is near’ and how they would define ‘the meaning of life’. My mind garbled the following…

Been there, seen that. Done this, did that. Could’ve, would’ve. Don’t look back because you may fall. Look ahead for a brighter day. It was the right thing at that time. Love with your heart not with your body. Regrets are for the dying. Walk till you get someplace. Talk until it makes sense. Write until, until, until you can’t get enough. Love until you get love back. Revenge is only in the movies. Forgiveness is real life. Convince yourself not others. You are as good as your words not your money. Change your life not your mind. Life is what you look for and love is what you find. In the end hug a friend.

There is no landing strip once the rug is pulled out from under us. Enjoy your life as its not a dress rehearsal! I dedicate this to all our brothers and sisters dying of AIDS in Ethiopia.

Congratulations you’ve made it to today!”

I noticed him leaning up against the booth as I approached to get into my car. I sensed something was wrong because everyday he would wave goodbye, but today he seems to look directly at me but did not respond to my wave. So I decided to approach him, to make sure all was ok.

His name is Mesfin, an Ethiopian parking attendant. I would park my car there every day and we always made small talk about daily events.

I asked him, "Mesin, menew zare zem alek?" he replied with, "wey alayehushem" so I told him I'm so used to him waving and I was concerned. So on that day I spent almost an hour talking with him and he revealed to me that he needed to send some amount of cash to Addis for his family because his sister was having a Qelebet. I know he works two jobs and he's constantly sending money to his family.

He's the only one from his immediate family in the US. I know he has a lot on his shoulders with that much responsibility. I felt sorry and wished I could do something but offering to contribute to the fund would sound offensive, so I thought.

I remembered when I mentioned to him I was going to Addis a year and a half ago, he asked, almost pleaded, for me to take several thousand dollars to his family. I did, but when I went to their house to hand deliver the funds, I noticed their living standard was pretty decent. His sisters were well groomed and dressed in the latest fashion. I was thinking if that was his money supporting their lifestyle. From his description, I was under the impression they were below poverty.

Mesfin is a good, down to earth, guy as I've learned from my many days of talking with him. He's also very hardworking and hopes someday to return to school to work towards his dream of becoming a mechanical engineer. How does he go about doing that when he's working two full time jobs? Can he tell his family he can no longer send money?

I wonder if the families in Addis have any clue what their children, brother, sister, mother, or father have to sacrifice and suffer thru to make sure they have what they need?

There are many more Mesfin's abroad and wonder where does the responsibility stop? How much of once life has to be sacrificed for the sake of another?

As a woman, I know we carry a lot on our shoulders. We are great at holding down the fort in several areas: handling the order of the household, working at the office, keeping the relationship in check, and appear flawless in the process. Our mothers and grandmothers did it without missing a beat and tradition/culture meant something. Granted they were married young, surrounded by loved ones and may have had some help around the house but they still did it and we admire them till this day. They are the backbone of our success, can I get an 'Amen!' 

Today, in the 21st century, we have many women very well educated with professional jobs, earning a good living and some even own their own homes. I know the equality factor has not been written in stone but today's Ethiopian woman is walking the walk and talking the talk. Let's be proud and say it loud! But are we prepared to pay the cost?

Back in the day, sene sereat yeyazech set used to first find a partner, fall in love, get married, THEN have a child. But now-a-days, what some have done instead is resorted to forcing a marriage or a long-term relationship by means of conception. Yes, I'm speaking of pregnancy by unwed mothers among the Ethiopian community! Menew, men meta? What happened to tradition/culture? What's the rush and where is the pressure coming from? I am getting very annoyed that we now have to talk about "her baby daddy" or "his baby momma”.  I think we have come a long way to resort to this nonsense.

I say to our Ethiopian men, when your Ethiopian woman's alarm is sounding the horn, stop acting like you didn't hear it. Either hit the alarm button and move on or stop whining about it after the precious Mamo or Mamitu arrives. You see, you snooze you lose. I want to make it very clear this is not in your defense, Ethiopian Wondoch. 'Man up' and take responsibility for your decision. Handle your business! R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

It is not fair for the Ethiopian kids that are being born in a one parent household. Don't sell yourself short, do the right thing. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in a baby carriage. If you want a child and no marriage then stop complaining about being a single parent!

I’ve taken notice on this here blog a lot of you Abesha wondoch are talking about what you want in an Abesha set and I think it’s time for us setoch to talk about what we look for in a man. I once heard what a man wants is, Carmen Electra in the bedroom, Julia Childs in the kitchen, and a mix of Condi rice/Halley Berry at cocktail parties. Then he woke up!

In my book there is nothing better than a confident, borderline arrogant (not an ass), street smart and a brainiac at the same time, someone who is opinionated as hell and always in control of his life. Now that’s a man for you! It's alright for a guy to be sensitive as long as he's not pulling out a handkerchief every second. Have I met this perfect Abesha man? I did once upon a second, wrong timing, but I know he exists in all men, Abesha and non- Abesha’s. Dating is a game, you fantasize a list of what you want in him and he does the same. Then it’s a matter of matching the numbers with the letters and hoping to find the right match so the game can begin.

Dear Abesha Wondoch: The one thing most women don't care for is the physical appearance. Physical performance…live and learn you’re not born a stallion so stop trying to front. And stop talking about going south, southwest, southeast, Antarctica it makes you sound like a fool! The real southerners don’t need maps, instructions and a how to seminar so chill! A woman needs a man who’s sensitive but tough, someone who will be there when things are rough.

These days a woman can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan so ask yourself one question…what can I offer her, not what can I buy her because she’s already all about the Benjamin’s. Offer her your sincere fikir, understanding, and support. You see when you got your confidence together a woman will be on you like white on rice. It’s simple…take care of her and she’ll take care of you, you play her and she’ll play you! The one-way rule doesn’t work in a relationship that’s only for street signs, you can change lanes but God forbid you make the wrong turn and BAM it’s over! Now how much fun is life on a one-way street!

At parties…when you start acting like a puppy, with its tail tucked between its legs, you’re a turn off. If you’re too nervous to approach her then don’t stare. If you’re not going to make a move then just chill, the wrong move, will earn you a chew and spit you out session with her girlfriends. If you act nervous it’s a turn off. If you fumble your words it’s a turn off. Please don’t drink and drive over to her, to get your mack on, have a sip or two to kill the nerve but don’t numb it out all together. If you approach her like endene man ale she’ll say hell yeah! Just be yourself and she can’t help but like you and eventually love you.

I do feel sorry for some Abesha wondoch who have to do all the work to get her only to find she’s not staying. The reality is women always have the upper hand because we generally don’t have to make the first move. So be cool about everything and have the embee betel men alabet attitude and make us squirm for you. It’s ok to let her take you out sometimes, it doesn’t strip you of your manhood, it shows you’re confident. One last thing…stop with the, “if I buy you a drink and you drink it up, you’re coming home with me” attitude. I’ve finally spoken my peace now let The Game begin!

Warning: Laughing at other people's mishaps is strictly prohibited and punishable by…don’t know yet but I’ll think of something. I once heard a comedian ask at a live show, “Whose birthday is it today?” a young woman screamed and he motioned her to come on stage. He asked her, “Sweetie how old are you today?” She answered by saying she was 21. I knew it was trouble when he eyed her from head to toe and replied, “Baby I didn’t ask you how much you weighed at birth” The audience was wooing and laughing and the girl quickly hopped off of the stage and cussed him out. I thought, that’s what you get for taking your behind up there in the first place. That was one comedy show I truly enjoyed and I later realized when comedy is at your expense there’s not much to laugh about. When the "Oh my God" moment happened in my life, I understood exactly how the girl felt on that stage.

Ok, so the most embarrassing moment of my adult life happens and there was no comedian to cuss out. The incident happened a few years ago when I used to work in the city. One wonderful afternoon, after work, I had my music blasting in my ear to drown out the hustle and bustle of city life to get where I need to go as happily as possible. I didn't drop a sweat, trying to catch the next train home, because this was my daily routine. I later found out why they have happy hours, to keep my happy ass out of harms way. I’m gonna need ye pome martini, shaken or stirred, before I continue telling this story…I’ll be right back.

So it happened…not the worse nightmare, because nightmares are over at the buzz of the alarm, but my worse daymare. There was a young boy on his mountain bike riding down a steep hill, going east towards my intersection, and my light to walk was on going north. So I did what a normal human being would do, I walked and my daymare happens. The young boy decided he wasn’t going to stop, I figured, he must have been desperate for a reason to delay his delivery. Yes we collided, Ssssplatttt, as soon as I stepped off of the curve! I ended up a road kill and his bike flung I didn't care where. Out of all the people crossing the damn street why me? I could show everyone who did it but what's the point…my embarrassing daymare has already occurred and no comedian to cuss out. Wiy, mot yeshalal! I tried, lord knows I tried, to regroup and save face but I was too dazed and thankful for not being seriously hurt. Calgone take me away! Thank goodness I wore pants that day because I would’ve hated any physical reminders of what happened – the mental torture is enough.

What the hell are people looking at, haven't they ever seen an Abesha set get hit by a bike rider? Oh, the embarrassment, menew ahun meret tekefto bewetegne! The guy was very sorry and gave me his company name, phone number and email address. Too late buddy, get your brakes fixed and get a good lawyer because Celebrate life is pissed off! I guess he did the right thing, after all what else was he gonna do commit a crime of hitting and riding?

I mean I love going to comedy shows/clubs, as much as possible, because I love to laugh. This was one free show I wished I could have had the option to cancel, delete, pause, or rewind but unfortunately life doesn't come with a remote control, well not until 2050. I know embarrassing moments happen to the best of us (actually all of us) and I would love to hear yours. Can you beat my day mare?

After many, many years I finally made a decision to do what my parents have begged me to do every time they visit. No it's not marriage, and I'm not having a baby but travel to Ethiopia. Year after year I had an excuse from — I have too much responsibility at work to I am just not ready to take the time off. The reality was I was terrified, mortified, and scared out of my skirt. Why? I had no idea. I didn't have any horrible memories to re-live, or any debt to settle it was just out right fear. There is nothing to fear but fear itself!

The day finally came when I purchased my ticket and I knew — it was too late to turn back now, I believe, I believe I'm boarding the plane. No refunds and no transfer of passengers name was clearly printed under the terms and conditions. The only thing that gave me comfort was that my sweet brother agreed to accompany me on this travel of a lifetime because he's just like that, sweet as a honeycomb.

I couldn't eat anything, or sleep the day before the trip. My brother assured me, "it's a long flight, you'll have plenty of time to sleep". God, I hope he's right, I mean he's almost always right, but what if he's wrong today after all he's only human. I wanted a net to catch the butterflies in my stomach and set them free, they must be suffocating by now God knows I am.

It's on baby…The boarding began on none other than Ethiopian Airlines, with the handsome pilots and the well dressed hostessoch. What pride I felt but dang why are the butterflies having a block party ene hode wuste? Boarding was easy but getting a drink, of any alcoholic beverage, to help me pass out was a little tricky because the flight must first take off per the FAA Airline regulations. Dangit we have to get that changed.

The drama…I knew after a while, when I viewed the monitor in front of me, it was too late to holler help! Another darn FAA regulation. We were clearly out of the continental US of A bye, bye. So I did what sometimes works for me, I had a little pep talk with my inner-self "set your ass down and enjoy the flight" and took a short nap. The nap kind of worked but waking up was a bitch. It took me at least 5-10 seconds before my eyes could focus then I grabbed my brother and asked him "where the hell am I?" He looked at me as if I lost my mind. He said, "are you serious, you need a real drink, girl don't wake me up again until we get there" then he laughed ha/ha. I didn't find it too funny but we talked about other things and I got distracted. What a sweet brother I tell you, one in a million.

Yene Ethiopia…I would like to say I now know that I have always had a place to call my real home and wonderful relatives I never knew about. From the moment I arrived at the Bole Airport I can smell it in the air – pure love from my Ethiopia! I knew that my heart and soul have finally taken a deep breath of real life.

I was finally back home!

As the tears ran down my face and my heart was grinning at me with every beat, I thought to myself, oh what a feeling! I observed the looks and interactions of my Ethiopians and I realized exactly what I have been missing in my life: I missed the kind smiles. I missed the heartfelt greetings. I missed the love one gives from the heart. I missed the fresh air. I missed Amarenga being spoken all around me and written on signs and buildings. I missed the cars with the big license plates. I missed the poor man/woman, the rich man/woman, the policeman, and the strangers in the streets. I missed the big beautiful churches. I missed the injera, dabo, fanta, kolo, kurte and kitfo. I missed merkato. My home away from home, what I missed out on by not growing up in Addis. I love you my Ethiopia!

Podcasted Hager by Neway Debebe 

The hotel was booked, the car was packed and the five of us were prepared for anything on the 3-hour drive to Carmel. After the car overheated and delayed the trip, the driver came up with a brilliant idea of playing truth or dare. Hmmmm in the car, while driving, is not the best time to be dared for anything.

Let the games begin….everyone was sworn in to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help us God. We decided to go clockwise beginning with the driver and at first, I must admit, it was a lot of fun because almost everyone was going for the truth. The questions were about who they really liked and their first true love – no harm in that right? Then a brilliant mind decided to position the question so that it’s about another person in the car.

The sequel begins ta-dum, drum roll please! Well two ultimate best friends, since the first grade, were in the car lets call them "Mo" and "Jo" to conceal their identity. Friend Jo was asked what she didn’t like about friend Mo and her answer was "I hate that she always copies everything I do." Did you say hmmmm? My thought exactly and the rest of the trip was like a Hitchcock movie full of screams and fear of dying. You can only imagine the continuing dialog between Mo and Jo. Well, needless to say Mo and Jo are no longer friends partially because of the honesty brought out by that trip. Damn, whose idea was this anyway!

Q. Is it okay to always be honest without sparing the other person’s feelings?
A. I think so, the truth hurts for a moment but a lie hurts a lifetime. These two friends fought because of the years of deceit not honesty.

Q. If you saw your best friends husband or wife cheating would you tell them?
A. I sure would, I'll be like girl you getin played and then some.

Q. If a person looks hideous in the new $500 outfit they just bought, from a store, with a no-refund, no-exchange policy would you tell them they look hideous?
A. Hell, it aint my money and I'm not wearing it so why not.

Q. If you were a witness to a federal-crime, a family member committed, and you were questioned by the police would you tell the po-po?
A. Not before I ask to see a lawyer.

I have always wished for pure and unblemished honesty but have not always been granted. I was neither Mo nor Jo but I felt kinda bad for asking the question that tore up their friendship. I believe the truth is realty and deceit is the imagination.

A woman or a man goes to a show, dinner, or a movie alone and it's a problem or maybe she/he is lonely. What’s wrong with having some space and just chilling by yourself?

Sometimes, I love going places alone because I meet new people and most of the time I have more fun than going out with someone I know. I love vacationing alone, going to dinner alone, going to the movies ALONE and I'm never LONELY. I have plenty of family and true friends that love me. I make sure they are never left out of the experience because I share every detail with them and my journal. I still can’t figure out what the problem is.

Even in a relationship he always thinks I'm going out to meet someone and as usual my cell blows up with messages and questions of my whereabouts. My reply is always something like, “Come on dude I’m dating you not tattooed on you. If I want to cheat I can do that in the comfort of my own home and who’s gonna stop me?” End of discussion! All I want is sometimes, just sometimes to be left alone to enjoy my life. Am I so wrong or is it the world that’s got it twisted?

When I go out alone some people, except the one's I meet, are making it seem as if it's some form of a mental condition that needs some medical attention. My cousin once said to me, “Ende ere ebakeshen tetamemyalesh bechenet tiru aydelem”. I think she meant “berd tiru aydelem” but then it was summer time. Well….science has it hanging out with folks with that type of mentality is hazardous to my health. Don’t misconstrue my bluntness for anger.

I'm never alone or bored because I'm always with my favorite company (me, myself, and I) and we laugh at anything and everything we just don't hold Q&A sessions.