He said that he fell in love for the first time the first time he saw her. He said it was one of those things he knew, he wanted to be with her. He said she was mesmerizing.
She embodied everything he ever thought women should be. She took him back to the days women were rousing, the first time he started desiring, the early 90ties when he was in his late teens.
When the sappy R&B songs by the likes of Boyz 2 Men started making sense; back in the days when.. when knocking boots actually first started to sound appealing. When he first heard about the lyrics to Pharcyde’ Passin Me By….
Now there she goes again, the dopest ethiopian
And now the world around me be gets movin in slow motion
When-ever she happens to walk by – why does the apple of my eye
Overlook and disregard my feelings no matter how much I try?
Wait, no, I did not really pursue my little princess with persistance;
And I was so low-key that she was unaware of my existance
From a distance I desired, secretly admired her;…
in his words
I approached her, and she blew me off, I approached her again she blew me off. I did what any man in my position would
do, ask her friends if they could set me up.
After two months, I finally got a date with her; I thought it went very well till she said threw the ‘lets be friends because I am just not sure at this time‘ card. I was disappointed but thought maybe if we kept hanging out she might change her mind.
A couple of months later our friendship got stronger. She would talk to me as her close friend. I put my life on hold for her meaning I didn’t date other woman because I was waiting for something to spark her feelings towards me. To my knowledge she was single the whole time we hanged out. Sometimes I felt like it was a relationship without the
commitment and physical intimacy.
She introduced me as her friend, and that frustrated me, my love for her turned into torture and I felt neglected and used. But I loved her and that gave me patience.
I could feel that she felt something for me, although she tried her hardest not to show it. I asked her and she denied it.I told her that I couldn’t be friends with her anymore and I just isolated myself from everyone because my friends had become her friends and her friends mine.
For two weeks I went through withdrawal symptoms to get rid of my affliction, my love towards her. I didn’t tell her or anyone about it because I felt like a loser. I was angry, enraged, dismayed, heart-broken and in-love all at the same time.
the relationship
I am at an age where all my friends are getting married and I am getting invited to so many weddings. I have been a Mize three times. I was the groom’s maid and she was the bride’s maid; it had been in the plans for 6 months, right about the time I met her.
I thought I couldn’t go through with it but didn’t want to disappoint my friends. I had to get my shit together and be there at least for one day.
The wedding started and it went very well, we celebrated the most romantic wedding I had ever been part of. Right after the bride and groom told their vows, I watched her tears roll down her make-up bloated rosy cheeks. I leaned in and gave her my napkins to wipe her tears and snuffled nose. I had never seen her sensitive side, it was enlightening. I didn’t know she could be sensitive & quixotic. I asked if she was ok & she then whispered the most exquisite words in the history of spoken vocabulary.
I think I love you!“
I was in disbelief, I was shocked, I was jovial, I was ecstatic and I thought I could start living again. I wanted to be sure as the sound was muffled by the surround system of Neway Debebe’s Yayne Abebe Nesh vocals.
Are you deaf?…., I said I think I am in love with…!”
I kissed her right there and then, a short sweet peck as I didn’t want to steal the spotlight from the bride and groom for too long, but let’s just say they were not the only ones on honeymoon that night. It was July 4th and Ye’Meskel SquareDemera collectively. Those R&B songs came through clearly. I thought she was the one that Barry couldn’t get enough of her love.
I was in love with a woman that loved me back. I started to live again. I thought she was worth the wait, the frustration. She was the Dopest Ethiopian. From then on we saw each other often for the next month.
I had a good time with her, I loved her, and I thought she was perfect. She was affectionate, understanding, honest, and considerate. Everything I would ever want in a woman.
Life was good, but for the first time in my life, things that I had overlooked in the past now bothered me. I was not the patient man I had known myself to be. My professional life was the same because I kept to myself most of the time. I started to notice that my relationships with my family and friends were somewhat strained because I found myself to be more selfish that I ever used to be.
In the past although my relationships with woman were not perfect, it was mostly healthy, with open communication and honesty most issues were resolved quickly. I noticed that my relationship with her had problems. I found myself irritated with her for every little thing she did.
post relationship
Over few weeks we dated, I realized that my love for her had turned into despise. I hated her for what she had done to me. I started to nitpick every one of her habits. I was infuriated with her that I couldn’t stand being with her. I became a man that I thought I was incapable of becoming; quick-tempered, hot blooded, & turbulent
After many quarrels over trivial issues, I realized I couldn’t let the past stay in the past. We were incapable of having the same relationship while dating as we had in our friendship. I had tried to forgive her; I wasn’t able to actually do it. Although I thought as though I loved her, I realized I was really angry with her and I just couldn’t get past it.
She realized before I that something was wrong with me, and after some internal investigation, I told her the way I felt. And we had to suspend our relationship at least temporarily if not permanently.
It was permanent, we stopped talking, and my experience with her left a deep scar somewhere on my heart. For a length period, I wasn’t able to see woman without any preconceived notions.
It’s been about a year now and I am just getting back to my old self. I hope to ultimately be healthy and pursue interactions with comprehensible women.
Every so often I can’t help to think about what could have been, if she just had been less harsh with me, if she hadn’t so Ethiofused, an article I read here on bernos which inspired me to share my experience with you.
An anonymous victim of Ethiofusion!
Published by June 17th, 2007 in Dating and Personal.
Wow What a read? I don’t know what to say, it was long but worth it….
Anonymous, what can I say, she sounded like trouble from the beginning, no its not her fault
you are the one that choose to pursue her and I think it should be your fault that you got hurt. Because she made it clear that she wasn’t interested and you wanted to be with her when you were friends.
Anonymous, wow how beautiful and touching. Love gone wrong!
Love is funny sometimes….it’s rare that two people would equally feel passionate about each other at the same time and at the same level. There will always be one who feels more in love then the other…especially at the start of the relationship.
I don’t know that he loved her but I think the fact that she gave him “Ethiofused” hope had him addicted to her.
In the end when she said
that should’ve given him a signal that she just had the “I wanna get married too” blues. I’ve heard this happens a lot with single people who are mizes. They feel left out and have the need to get hitched. I don’t think she was ever in love with him but she saw him as available and ready to commit to her unconditionally. If only she knew her own actions would turn him against her.
Ethiofused should officially go down as a mental condition to be studied and treated. It’s truly a diseases that’s ruining lives.
They should’ve, if they didn’t, have a sit down talk before committing to one another. I mean at least discuss what happened and why the sudden change and what “I think” means. But then sometimes being in love or thinking you’re in love tends to make you feel nothing could go wrong.
I’m sorry the love turned to dislike and know that you are better prepared for the next woman who’ll love you unconditionally.
what an apt image. it reminded me of the song that goes, ‘belashiw .. . anjeten belashiw‘. this image is as if to say, ‘qolashiw … liben qolashiw‘.
I’m sorry you feel the way you do.
gin, i’m going to agree with mariamawit on this one. as i see it, if you’re going to believe in the ethiofused theory, then she ethiofused you in the beginning and you ethiofused her back in the end. two wrongs sure don’t make right.
it may be hard to maintain but the world seems to make better sense if you think of it as you being responsible for your happiness.
I don’t get this Ethiofused nonsense. You saw her & you liked her, she didn’t want you so you wanted her more, then she wanted you so you got with her and paid her back for not wanting you in the first place. So how is this her fault? None of us are owed love from the ones we love. You got into the mess yourself. I am sorry you got hurt but your problems have nothing to do with her “Ethiofusedness” (whatever that is).
I am involved in a situation just like this. I feel really sad. I deeply love this man. I really do with all my heart and I still do. And I will forever. The sad part is I am now afraid things will soon be over between us due to my character being just like the lady in this story. Lately the person i so adore is feeling neglected after I had a terrible moody week. I don’t remember how I acted this past week all i know is I was not myself.
I was distant, angry, and unaffectionate. The sad part is the person is now distancing himself from me after being with me for 4 yrs. He wasn’t calling as much and I called to ask if he gave up on me. He said no. I was happy. Then i said sorry for the past week. He said don’t say sorry. I still love you. I am confused someone please help me. Why is he distant now?
I relate to the lady in this story. I think she is not confused about the man. She is just confused by her own life. She is trying to fix her life while trying to stay with him. It’s hard dealing with so much. Although she loves him so much he love doesn’t show through her action. The man in this story should have not only seen her daily action but should have focused more on the whole picture. He should have seen her dedication by being commited. He should have been more understanding when she was emotional while at the wedding ceremony. Instead of giving her tissue to wipe her tear why not ask her what is making you cry. Why don’t you men try to ask our emotions. I am sure she would have told him it’s because i want the same for us.
THe man should have asked her what can I do so we can have better life. Maybe she is afraid to metion many things he doesn’t have afraid of hurting his ego.
hi guy i have been reading your blog for a while it was very entertaining ,fun and new material posted often ,but lately it became so ,how can i put this ….very boring lots of plugs about your t shirts, i can understand you trying to sell but come on ..and became your typical abesha website [most]they start up real good and you dimminsh,just keep it fresh not stale…..thanks
Thanks for sharing your experience with us here on bernos Anonymous
Personally I second Mariamawit and Tobian on this one…
You can’t make someone love you just because you’re ready to be loved. Just like you can’t make yourself love someone else!
Anyway, it seems like you have moved on with your life and all I can say is that…sure breakups are painful and can be extremely difficult, but they are not the end of the world. Many times, they lead to something better or personal growth that you might not have been aware was needed.
[quote comment="52446"]hi guy i have been reading your blog for a while it was very entertaining ,fun and new material posted often ,but lately it became so ,how can i put this ….very boring lots of plugs about your t shirts, i can understand you trying to sell but come on ..and became your typical abesha website [most]they start up real good and you dimminsh,just keep it fresh not stale…..thanks[/quote]
There is something wrong at the core of your argument. You want everything for free. You don’t want to hear about our tshirts, but you want us to entertain you. We did and when you felt you weren’t entertained enough you speak up..
You said you been reading for a while, but we have never heard from you. You haven’t participated in the discussions, you haven’t encouraged any of the authors you take their time out of their busy lives in order to share with you. A free grazer…
Bruk…
I’m not sure what you’re talking about…how is this article related to our t-shirts. So don’t disrupt the flow by digressing from the actual topic. If you have a problem with our t-shirt articles, make your comment where it need to be made
Please keep your comments relevant to the blog entry!
This is so disturbing not even sure where to begin. What the hell is Ethiofused? You liked a girl, you pursued her. Girl wasn’t sure about her feelings but finally realized she liked you and instead of being happy and grateful you became resentful and spiteful. Seriously Mr. anonymous you need therapy. You don’t know how to be happy and grateful and seem to have a big inflated ego.
[quote comment="52255"]I don’t get this Ethiofused nonsense.
You saw her & you liked her, she didn’t want you so you wanted her more, then she wanted you so you got with her and paid her back for not wanting you in the first place. So how is this her fault? None of us are owed love from the ones we love.
You got into the mess yourself. I am sorry you got hurt but your problems have nothing to do with her “Ethiofusedness” (whatever that is).[/quote]
abo afe qurit yibel kiki! thank you.
[quote comment="52341"]
I relate to the lady in this story. I think she is not confused about the man. She is just confused by her own life. She is trying to fix her life while trying to stay with him. It’s hard dealing with so much. Although she loves him so much he love doesn’t show through her action. The man in this story should have not only seen her daily action but should have focused more on the whole picture. any things he doesn’t have afraid of hurting his ego.[/quote]
ok…this is a very common scenario…I am just confused here….if she has a feeling but she wanna hold it until she gets her life straight…why should she choose between career/life vs. relationship? isn’t relationship for support/help/metegagez if there is real love between the two? or she has a doubt in the relationship?
wow – I relate so , so much to this story .Its not even funny.
and anonymous I am a woman who have passed through the same experience . Guy loving me so much – giving me so much attention I’ve never been given …. I felt like I should love him back. That I owe him that much . I even belived I loved him. He grew on me . He got me that confused .Which was wrong … on both of our sides . I should have been aware that this was not love and he should have stoped persuing me when he saw that I was not in to him.
but he gave me so much sh** after we were together I couldnt stand it anymore. The very reason that got us together was him being nice to me , but then once that was over there was nothing there for me to hold on to . So whose fault is it now ?? I can equally say that I was the victim here.
But I tell you what Mr. Anonymous – stop on blaming her or yourself and move on . There is no one to blame . We are never experts on matters of the heart … so just let it be .
Woooowo; it is like Love delayed; Love denied; she was not reciprocating back at the beginning; but she told you what she feels. I do not fault her for that; you probably wanted to stop the feeling you have for her but unable to do so; we can not make the person feel what we feel for them; if there is a magic to do that; a lot people would have benefited. The resentment is also understandable it is human nature; we pursue what we want in life and relationship; when the catch is in the net we are satisfied and enjoy it for the moment. The anger, the resentment, and the lost time in pursue; then follows; do not blame your self or her; move on and you probably found something you do not know about yourself; there will be next time and do not invest time and effort on someone that does not reciprocate back to you; even if you get what you wanted ultimately; you will resent the waiting and on the other party on holding out for so long.
Bed_Ford: uh , oh~! you did not rephrase me just there did you ??!!
seriously…seriously…i dont see what she did wrong? you liked she didnt like you..she was honest…then her feelings changed…again she was honest. what did she do wrong? she couldnt help her feelings no more than you could!
[quote comment="52446"]hi ..and became your typical abesha website [most]they start up real good and you dimminsh,just keep it fresh not stale…..thanks[/quote]”
==== ………….======
bruk,
wanna give it a second thought? I feel it is balanced and dynamic instead.
when you think about it, these fellas have a right and a choice to do anything they please in order to grow as business entity. for now they chose to balance it all, as we all appear to enjoy their blog..otherwise what business does our (at least mine) presence have here?
once they make the big $$$, they may even change their way of attracting their users (bloggers)and customers, ..let us say… strictly business!?… so for now ..i think it is a balanced one, imho. we do have the privilege i.e. it is a privilege not a right as we write.. they can simply unplug the plug on someone or even pick you as their inner-circle pal if they feel you reflect theirs or enjoy your writings.
they have a right..it is their field, their own.
or one can simply unplug him/herself if not enjoying, why pick a fight.
I would also throw my 2 cents to Bernosoch that they shouldn’t get irritated that easy when challenged, questioned or even cyber personality distaste…or even worse when called names.. those things are politic’s and business’s mode-of-Operandi. at times, there are bitter pills, inevitably, to swallow.
there are folks that you may not like who provide sincere feedback, sincere perspective and also there are those who intentionally tarnish for one purpose or another.
we all are skinned that Abesha skin ,…but in reality ..in the way, our five sensors are nurtured by the life experiences we have gone thru, ..could put us in a platform of day-N-night.
cheers.
Ene Yemileuw,
Tobian, Mariamawit, Kiki, when are you guys going to stop this attitude that a woman can do no wrong?
I am going to dissect this for the EthioFused Layman. At the core the problem started with let’s just be friends. Is Anonymous stupid for not running when she said this. Yes it is. That is his only fault. The girl wanted her cake but didn’t want to pay for it. She obviously gave him ambiguous signs. You see saying that you are not interested in a person is actually consideration for the person. If she cared about him even as friends it is her ethical responsibility not to giving him misleading signals.
One of the things Abesha woman complain about guys is the fact that they feel non-abesh guys pursue them much better than counter-parts. We are told to be a little more persistent, “ if he really wants me he is going to have to show me” minamin. So they play hard to get.
She said she wants to be friends, sometimes that means I am not sure, I am not interested in you at all, and sometimes I am somewhat interested but don’t want to say I am interested right now. She obviously wanted him around for support friendship, or whatever else he was providing. But she didn’t want to do the same for him. Is she at fault for taking what he gave her voluntarily? Technically no but ethically yes, its like a gift with strings attached.
Like all semi platonic relationships between a male and a female, this was doomed at the lets be friends stage. A person doesn’t fall in love over night. She knew she was interested at the beginning, if she wasn’t she wouldn’t have fallen in love (love is eko huge guys, how often do people fall in love in a non sexual relationship) She was just selfish… she didn’t want to commit right away.
Some of you said its anonymous’s fault. Well ya its his fault for not running away from this Ethiofused girl. The rest is all her fault … at the ethical level. Please ladies lets be considerate about peoples feelings. Don’t waste his time if you are not interested. Tell him it will never happen.
I can personally relate to this story as well. I have met a few cheeks that I thought I was interested in, one of them turned out to be a four years relationship after she said no to me a few times and after 4 months or so we were together. If she was a little bit nicer to me at the beginning I would have appreciated her a little more, I think.
The second one was a headache from the beginning she was ambiguous from the beginning, I might be interested I am not interested, I might change my mind I am confused… I have to be friend first.. etc, eventually I gave up… and thank god, god saved me from her because I am sure she has a serious personality flaw. Selfish at the core.
So ya its his fault for not reading Ethiofused long ago and running away when he saw the signs.
Noles, who said women, can’t do wrong? We are talking about this particular situation and in my opinion I don’t believe she did anything wrong. Just because you love somebody doesn’t mean they have to love you back. She didn’t want him, she said so and he chose to pursue her. She didn’t force him to hang around her and pine for her. Maybe after hanging around with him for a while she might have developed some feelings for him. He obviously wasn’t in love with her anyways because as soon as he got her he didn’t want her. He was just into it for the chase and as soon as he got it he wasn’t interested. So tell me who is confused?
MOC, I think we are open to feedback, as you can see anyone can post without moderation anonymously and we live it open.
The only thing is we respond to criticism positive or negative. I was not irritated by his comment, i was just replying with my rebuttle. I think its fair to refute anything…
Part of some of the poster argument is based on the fact that she fell in love with him through time; or developed feeling for him; let see the following angle also; the mood on the weeding is good; she is with a person that she has known for a period of time. This person also loved her and expressed it so; but she pushed him away or kept at arms length until a person that fulfils her fantasy comes along. Most of her friends are wed, time is running out, the age clock is ticking; and she wanted the same thing to happen for her. The tear drop is not because she loved him; she is asking her self “…why not I love a person that showed me a lot of care, attention, and love …and get married like most of my friends instead of me being a meze all the time…” That is my take.
Nice coffee beans! Throughout the whole read I was wishing the article was about coffee…
and Anonymous, Ayzon. For the next round, go with her first answer… if she blows you off. Let her. If she wanted you, you would have known it in the first go. Asking over and over, asking her friends, sticking around minamn minamn is … all a waste of time. And from the read of it, you sounded like you liked the hunt not her. The dopamines must have stopped pumping when there was nothing left to hunt. You hunter you.
About her: She was not falling in love with him. She was settling for him….
is my 2 cent about the situation.
hi ,mindWithoutC,although you disagree with my opinion I enjoyed your comments on the blog .believe it or not when ever I read the blog I always look for your comment to see what you would write . you sound a very intellectual person and offer a positive outlook on variety of topics. You writing is poetic ,it would be nice if you contribute an article and maybe I will be inspired to write .peace
[quote comment="52602"]Part of some of the poster argument is based on the fact that she fell in love with him through time; or developed feeling for him; let see the following angle also; the mood on the weeding is good; she is with a person that she has known for a period of time. This person also loved her and expressed it so; but she pushed him away or kept at arms length until a person that fulfill her fantasy comes along. Most of her friends are wed, time is running out, the age clock is ticking; and she wanted the same thing to happen for her. The tear drop is not because she loved him; she is asking her self “…why not I love a person that showed me a lot of care, attention, and love …and get married like most of my friends instead of me being a meze all the time…” That is my take.[/quote]
Beqa!!!
that what my conclusion after some experience and all.
the question is should he take her back or just let it go?
My take is that girl kept him as her backup plan, a bentchwarmer, incase prince charming does not show up. After waiting for god too long for prince charming, she realized she can convert the benchwarmer to a starter. He settled for such a miserable condition early on because she was such a good handler… she threw him a breadcrumb, a tease, let her hold her hands and play skip. Her words my have said my friend, but her action spoke of a hope. She was a good gamer. Illusory high expectation is followed by disappointment.
It is an interesting read to say the least and I sympathize and empathize with my brother in distress, I sincerely do…but what the bleep is this Ethiofused pseudo-theory? I mean we walk around talking about racism, prejudice minamin that is based on the very thing you guys are doing here… stereotyping, type casting, generalizing etc. This is not about thinking a woman could do no wrong or being defensive, this is about being able to deal with truth and logic. I am the first to admit that yes there are Ethiopian girls/woman that don’t channel their signals right and even do so on purpose, playing hard to get or simply because the cultural background and their upbringing has influenced or convinced them to no be so forthcoming…whatever the reasoning the problem you guys speak of DOES INDEED exist. And let us not forget such problem is not limited to our own culture. It is one thing to recognize the problem it is another to make it EVERY ethiogirls problem. And based on what I’ve been reading it seems that many of you are over generalizing.
Since when is it that a woman has to reciprocate or match a feeling directed towards her at all times? When did we reach a point that I owe you an affection,fikir, filagot, semet, wezeterfe just because you have/developed one for me? At what point did I lose my RIGHT as a woman to choose what I want? Since when love and affection turned it to an obligation? Feeling is not owed but gained. Since when “lets be friends” or at least start out that way is a “confusing” signal? I am genuinely mystified fellas.
I mean let us dissect our author’s lived experience…
Right there is a red flag. He has already concluded that he loved her at the mere sight of her, she could be the shit wrapped in gold for all he knows but he had decided that he had fallen in love with her nevertheless. Besides how could she “embody” everything he ever thought a woman should be and what he wanted in a woman at a mere sight of her? Are we mistaking unadulterated lust/desire/want to his proclamation of “love”? Now to top that, she is expected to match his declaration with nothing short of an “I do too”??? I don’t get it.
Why must that be a “card”? Why wasn’t her feeling taken at a face value? (He surely expected his to be taken as such, not only that he even expected it to be returned hence his disappointment) So could it not be true that she wasn’t sure and ready? After all it was the first date, she knew nothing of him, may be just may be she might be the type of gal who like to see what kind of feelings and or relationships build as time progresses hence her offer of friendship in the mean time. Was the possibility of that ever entertained before coining her as the “ethiofused girl” (whatever the fuck that means).
I redirect you to my initial opening series of questions.
Here is the kicker…perhaps even the source of the much resentment he later felt towards her. Because he feels he is OWED for all the pain, waiting & wasting he did. You CHOOSE to abstain, you choose to wait around for your feelings to be matched… my dear no where did I read that the requirements of that friendship you guys had was that you stay single. You put your life on hold of your own accordance not of what she structured. So how can you fault her for everything you consciously and knowingly did? Was she supposed to feel guilty and out of sympathy respond to your feelings? From what I read she never mislead you into thinking the relationship was something more than it was. She introduced you as she saw you, a friend. That further fueled you and made you feel used but I don’t see how that is so. You are in her life of your own choosing. You did whatever you might have done in that relationship wanting and hoping for something more.
Then there come that time you have been waiting for…it came with the “I think I love you”…well you thought you loved her at the mere sight of her, why is she not afforded the same consideration that she after all developed more feelings that ventured outside of the friendship you two had. They do say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, perhaps that might be the case or perhaps it might be the “wedding blues”…whatever the case the relationship took on its own flight there after. So now why dwell on the past when after you have got what you so badly wanted to have all along???
My dear if it was true love in the first place it would not have turned into ‘despise’ and hatred at a switch of a button. That is why I questioned your initial assertion of falling in love with her. Here is how I see your predicament (mind you I am no expert nor claim to be one, I am a woman with an opinion so here goes)…you desired her, wanted her, she didn’t take favorably to that so you felt challenged (as it seems to be the epidemic in many men), you pursued and persuaded and with due time you “conquered”, now reality sets in… perhaps the lady did not “embody” everything you thought she embodied at your initial eye contact…perhaps your expectation super exceeded what is real and attainable… perhaps you felt cheated that you wasted all these times on a woman you have built so much above the reality that you got enraged and wanted to hold her accountable for what you perceive as “she has done to [you]”. Only problem is that you my dear has done it all to yourself. And there is nothing harder to swallow than the naked truth so you did what came humanly to you…you will make her pay for it. This is how I see it, mind you I know not of the details of the relationship…I am only merely going by what I read and responding accordingly. If the ending of the relationship and all the turmoil that took place in it was based on the fact that she made you wait, then I stand by everything I say here. Should there be more than what meets the eye and I have prematurely assumed and judged your predicament unfairly, then I am willing to be faulted.
Please understand that it is NEVER my intention to enchet mesded in your kusel, God is my witness such is not my intent…I am only hoping to shed some light and a different perspective so that may be, just may be you might hold your self accountable for all that transpired and perhaps that knowledge might be freeing enough that you will venture into a new relationship with a renewed understanding of relationship and that of your self. I am only hoping that you will be able to scratch dry that old scar you spoke of and be able to move forward. Life is for the living so go on out there and mess the hell out of it! Your past is a history, a history from which you can take a lesson from, but not a shackle that should keep your feet rooted in one spot. Take the good things from that history forward and use it as an ingredient to the presence and the future ahead and SPICE IT UP! Give yourself, love, happiness and a woman a chance and see where the flight takes you. Only then you can say you conquered and lived. I sincerely wish you all the best and I hope you will be able to develop a healthy and joyful relationship from here on out.
Nolawi(18) … stop making stuff up. Can you please quote my sentence where i said she’s not blame? i intentionally put my comment to suit his perspective … and said if we’re to judge him by the standards he set to judge her, then he’s as guilty as she is for the same wrongdoing. all else was generic … as much applicable to him as well as her, you, me and everybody else.
having said that, my personal belief, which i didn’t sate before but am compelled to do so now, is that both you and anonymous talk nonsense. it has nothing to do with you being men, it’s to do with holes in your reasoning.
Nolawi, you use a lot of speculative phrases, build scenarios, and then pass your judgments based on that. “She knew she was interested at the beginning ..”(did she?), “She obviously wanted him around for support friendship” (what the hell is support friendship and could this be how people express the need for it? “I approached her, and she blew me off, I approached her again she blew me off.” she sounds support-needy, hmm?), “She obviously gave him ambiguous signs” …huh?
I don’t know when ‘I’m not sure’ became a crime. There’s yes, there’s no, and there’s ‘i don’t know’. if the world was yes-no black and white there’d not even been such a thing called “love”. Is it not allowed to say, ‘i don’t know’ even if it is the truth? what’s she supposed to do … flip a coin and say ‘yes’ or ‘no’? Why, because it makes the questioner’s life easier? Because if she was precise to the questioners perspective then questioner will not be forced to flip his own coin decide whether he wants to give up pursuing this girl for good or not?
Classic passive aggressive!
I’ll repeat what i said in my first response : you and only you can be responsible for your own happiness. take responsibility for your actions, or lack of.
[quote comment="52611"]hi ,mindWithoutC,although you disagree with my opinion I enjoyed your comments on the blog .believe it or not when ever I read the blog I always look for your comment to see what you would write . you sound a very intellectual person and offer a positive outlook on variety of topics. You writing is poetic ,it would be nice if you contribute an article and maybe I will be inspired to write .peace[/quote]
……..====…….
Hi to you too bruk. well, thank You! appreciate it! we agree to disagree ..in a respectful way ..so we all learn from eachother, build freindship, networking, and so forth. you never know! the pros of it is much sweller than its cons.
I went to Menelik II high 7th-12th and our 7th &8th grade teacher, Ato Mitiku was a great teacher in debate and speech. what a teacher! he used to say, “if you are overrun, by emotions, then that is that. you fail before you even start the race. you run out of breath. you are useless!” He was simply blunt, but wonderful!
of course, we never got its implication and our human wiring back then. we were idiots, kids full of us.. thinking we were the Socrates.
Unlike other blogs, this blog, has been just nothing but fun, and decent for me (low-level indecency) so i like it.
so keep getting involved even if you feel/imagine some hostile cyber keys are coming your way. just duck!….Qeber ChenQilat! ..B’Aradaw form..!
-Enjoy your day!
does anyone in here care or try to see what this girl is going through???? ere bakachihu have some empathy for the girl. call it Ethiofused /confused … she has feelings too. I bet you if we suppose she has a little bit of decency in her , we can all conclude that this was not at all intentional. Circumstances, poeple. Blame it on inexperience , alemegetatem…. but not on her . she did not know it . She is not a bitch , just pushed to the limit that she couldnt control her feelings .
koy esti – sew begiiiiid siyagorsachihu eshi bilachihu atbelum , gurshawim litafitachihu yichalal for that matter …. so could be the same if the girl was all overhim – I bet u anonymous would have done the same thing.
Anonymous, mine neither. I apologize if all this comes across a bit harsh.
OMG (30) stop spoiling the ‘ethiofused’ theory. Ethiofused girls are not meant to have feelings. There just there to unambiguously please their suiters.
Tobiyan : min largish benatish . afe kuritrit yibelilish
This is trully sad to see all the girls ganging up on mr anonymous. First and foremost I would like to say thank you for sharing your story with us. It was a priveledge to read. From what I read you sound like a very nice guy and hope your futur brings you a nice girl you deserve.
The girl wasn’t clear about her feelings. If she was not trully interested she would have never agreed or suggested to be freinds. Most freindship between males and females are based on attraction. Platonic relationship between genders rarely exists. Common sense tells us that when a man is ok with trying to be freinds, he is actually interested and waiting for the right moment to make his move. And this happens all the time. Freinds hookup and even marry. I would assume most of you have been involved in a situation like this
This is a simple issue no need to over analyze.The girl wasn’t sure, and she told him. He chose to wait.She knew he chose to wait, and she was happy about it. That is not right, taking advantage of a guy who clearly was not thinking with his brian but his heart. Then there came a time when she had to be known that she cared about him.
What yekey dama said makes complete sense and IMHO applies here from what I know of the story. Its within the culture not to be so forthcoming and ambigous for both males and females. Its attractive when a guy is kurategna and doesn’t express his feelings. Woman are tought to be aloof to male requests.
And its Abesha wondoch’s job to educate our ladies in what they lack. And Bernos is doing a good job of educating.
To the guys.
I must say I am dissappointed with the input from the guys. What happened to the Abesha Wondoch with Kehones. That means Kuaswoch. Get some balls and tell them the way it is.
see the problem with u older habesha guys is that u fall for a girl so eazly. you’ll need to be more manly. ur sad man.
hi mindwithoutc thanks for the response ,I told you I can read your comments all day long you so positive inspiring you have way with words that just brightened my day ,oh when you mentioned menillk high school so many memories i personaily did not go to menillk high ,But i had few sefer friends went there ,I went to misrak high ,anyways,looking forword .peace
In the end they’re both at fault. She’s at fault for stringing him along knowing damn well she never loved him. He’s at fault for letting her string him along. I’m glad he dumped her before she did another round of “I’m not sure”
oh my GOD….I must say “oh my god” to your comment. Are you serious with “see what this girl is going thru?” Are you for real? You say “she didn’t know” now that’s making her sound like an idiot. So she doesn’t know how to identify love? She was clearly taking full advantage of his endless love until he showed her the ‘less’ stands without the ‘end’. So she lost out. But seriously were you for real with #30?
Am I the only one who sees a huge ass red flag in
and she repeats it again
I don’t know about anyone but if a guy tells me “I think” anything about his feelings for me I’m gonna have me some questions lined up to follow his I thunk deal.
How can you think you love someone unless of course you don’t. You “think” something if you’re not sure. Damn she played him big time but then he must pick up the pieces and move on.
Injera, what can me say but love your comment. I so ditto it that I double and triple ditto it. In fact I’ll ditto and piggy back it. Reality check she played him big time and he handled being put on a leash quite well.
MWC, I second bruk’s comment. I think you should post something. great reads you write.
[quote comment="52794"]MWC, I second bruk’s comment. I think you should post something. great reads you write.[/quote]
I third that….you know I love reading your comments.
Thanks a lot Chala, I didn’t even need to add anything…..exactly what I wanted to say…tnx!
And Mimi, what made you think she was thinking the same thing as you? From what I read from Anonymous, the girl was just being honest about her feelings…why should she be expected to be ready to love him when she wasn’t? It just boils down to some men finding it very difficult to accept rejection….actually, I don’t think Anonymous knew what he wanted….either that or he has the egoic mind running his love life.
Anonymous, do u think u might have been in pursuit of ego gratification in order to fill a hole u feel within? Unless you feel complete without her in the first place, there was no way she could have filled any gap in your life. When u finally ‘got’ her, u felt u attained what u were after, but the hole was still there and bottomless. Your ache was worse because you could not delude yourself anymore. My dear, stop blaming her…and find yourself before finding another girl.
Anonymous…thanks for your openness and for sharing a part of you! I really respect that! betam, des tilaleh
but if u want my opinion…this is not about women can’t do wrong a nolawi is saying…
and it is NOT a “confusion” unique to ethiopian women that there’s a need to coin a new word that is gender specific. both men and women can be uncertain of how they feel and what they want, why they want it eko!
if anonymous did all this chasing and he doesn’t love her because she made him work hard…then he’s ethiofused…whatever that is — annonymous esti ewnet…do some selfanalysis aynet …did you really know why u wanted her to begin with? — loved her etc…? what is love gin?– really?? why is there all the resentment that killed the “love”. Wudisha…i second ur toughts about ego.- and many of us do things because of our egos…thats a fact of life
Celeb, I ditto the ‘I think I love you’ comment you made. The ‘I think’ reveals she is setteling for something less, for number two. But our man rightfully so detested his role as number two.
In YekeyDama insightful input, one stood out tall: go into life and make a mess of it. Ditto to that as well. If anything, our benchwarmer has learned… it is never to be a benchwarmer again. Nothing wrong with catching a girl on a rebound, or out right charming her out of another guy’s arm, but waiting for her to make up her mind… and putting your life on hold? hell no! The way I see it, the outcome is positive, they both learn to make a different mess the next time and hope out of many messes, there’ll come one success.
Yea ladies, its all or nothing… try to reserve a man at your own risk.
Feleqleg , yes I am for real . why do you say we should not give her the benefit of the doubt that this might hurt her too? she is human just as much as Mr. Anon., she was in this ” relationship “since the whole chase started , and then one day she “thinks” she is in love , gives love a shot , just like anyone . But what she thought was love was turned to resentment and anger. Ofcourse she will hurt . Maybe even more so than this guy , because at least he got what he wanted . He just decided he did not want it anymore .
This girl got nothing out of this , just some emotional rollercoster ride.
Anonymous. You need to go to a place called Motat, in Gojam, and get Mist’aFquer, it will do the trick… take it from me it works..
Thanks for sharing your story that most ppl can relate to ! We’ve all gone thru’ it, been there, done that…….IT’s PART OF LIFE….WHAT CAN YOU DO ?
I second cece in saying. c’est la vie!
why did you pick buna? is feker like yebuna soos?? alfo alfo eymeyangelajej??? I’m just wondering….
lol hewe…i guess it is huh?
—
OMG, I’m with feleqleq on this one. NO WAY! You cannot be for real! You think she got nothing out of this? Well she had a plan but instead got burned (booya!)
She dangled hope in front of a hopelessly in love man knowing she had no intention to deliver on the promise. That is til one day “ping” it dawned on her she may have to live hopelessly without a man
But wait why is she panicking look standing next to her is Mr Anonymous
her friend, her fool who’ll say “how high” when she says “jump”. So how is it gonna work now. I know she’ll tell him “I think I love you” that should set him flinging for the alter 
Well her plan worked except he flung her out to dry and I’m supposed to feel sorry for her? They burned each other but she lit the flame. She should’ve left well enough alone to find someone she really cared about instead of settling for what was easily accessible.
Sorry but I do not feel sorry for her and in actuality I don’t feel too sorry for him either but I know who’s at fault! If this was written by Ms Anonymous, instead, I’d feel exactly the same way.
What is the point of anyone (man or woman) leading the person you know has deeper feelings for you then you do for them? What is the point? Is it the attention, the possibilities or just selfishness? I never get it why people do this. I say foowey to that.
At the end of the day though I’m gonna be fair and say there is his side, her side and the truth!
MOC, I say Bay Arean power.
listen man. I don’t mean to advise on ur manhood but, ur a man. Ur ancestors were habesha, once manliest men of africa. ur there decendant. now ur sharing ur feelings with all this people thats sad. keep it to ur self and next time don’t fall in love so eazly. shit. lol be a man nigga.
This is what the West does to you, it feminizes you. It?s very un- habesha, for a man to open himself, up like this. Feelings are there to be personally understood, and to be conveyed throught poems, songs or jokes.
If any of you have the time, read , Feqr ba-teleskop, by Makonnen Baqqala (1969).
Actual,while we are on the subject of books, dose any have copy Welo Lafar, by Samu’el Laggasa?
SHe intentionally strung him along, beqa the girl is a selfish EthioFused. aleqe.
I don’t get this, does it mean that Ethio girls have to say yes everytime an Ethi guy comes along and asks her out? Come on this guy has a mind of his own, he should have put an end to it all when she said she is not interested in him. He chose to hang along unless she tied him to her with a chain or something. And then once she said yes he DUMPED her. And are we to feel sorry for him?
It is all a loose loose situation for Ethi girls, if a girl asks an Ethi guy out she is too forthcoming i.e. a DURIE and when she doesn’t accept an Ethi guys intent to date then she is Ethnofused. Come on guys let us be fair.
Well, mamitu, how can you say that when you know the girl went from I am not interested to I think I love you in 3 months…
if that is not confusion I don’t know what is…
personally I like honest and forthcoming any day.
[quote comment="53571"]I don’t get this, does it mean…. if a girl asks an Ethi guy out she is too forthcoming i.e. a DURIE and when she doesn’t accept an Ethi guys intent to date then she is Ethnofused. Come on guys let us be fair.[/quote] ”
_ _ _
Haha “DURIE” … The way I see it …it is not that instant moment that would make her a “DURIE” … It is the afterwards, the end-result!
If both sides meet eachother’s expectation, and sync up ..GiTiM ..GiTimTim .. and considering the guy is wise and appreciative for coming across to a bold & confident woman who helps him in being found with no DEKAM, then, what business does have to call her “DURIE” unless of course, he is a carrier of skull who bashes Abesha as some do!
Do some women approach every potential relationship on friendship basis only until they figure out the guy… I dont know, may be they got burned in the past, and think frienship option will work. Because this guy doesn’t say much about what the girl was doing…whether she was dating other people or not.
–Response to Post #35 & #53 —
Your words, if they mean anything at all, void your significance.
So to me, your significance, as Abesha, is insignificant. You can neither educate or elucidate. Only bravado. Even if you were 16-18 then ..i’d simply ‘ve forgiven you, but, again even at that age category, you show no sign of substance and promise.
That age is the most dynamic one and a springboard to reflect who you are at a later time. The way i see it you are doomed to stay with the “nigga” hood. your attitude reflects your altitude!
You think Calling us “nigga” is coolness or even sophistication!? But, you got none of it, bro! None, Zip, nada! You just possess skull at its worst..Lezawem QeDaDa…
I can Not stand those who carry a black ass but bash us H/Abeshas for having one.
I, for one, I am so proud of it, and wouldn’t even think for a split second to change it. Not a split secondo, I rephrase!
to be an African is to possess an unbreakable spirit with compassion, in case if you lost it somewhere in your “cool” hood. You don’t know what it takes to be an African or Abesha for that matter, do you?
At least, we your “nigga” have learned the basics of Ha, Hu and can express ourselves better than you do, w/o even having had all these opportunities that you are not being able to use to express yourself well.
My advice: eski ..tenish ,…Ye’AmeriKanun ..Ha, Hu > MelEkte > AbuGida …temar.. endew eski ..BeTiniTu enkuaw. that will come handy so you will be safe, when the inevitable age turn your Abesha ass around and ready to whip it like a cream. Get ready, bro! ..Afe Bicha Athun! Most of all, don’t bash Abesha!
Thank you Injera. Mr. Anon. gives a very biased side of the story and no one is willing to look deeper in to the situation – we’re just bashing eachother here, soooo shallow , if I may say .
Celebratelife: I thought you said (#2)that not everyone one starts on the same level of interest towards eachother in a relationship – one is more interested in the other . So she was less interested mejemeriya , then she was interested . stringing him along and all, so what she did , he was willing to be strung along . If you say she took advantage of his being into her , he definatly took advantage of her being confused and vulnerability .WTF , what is wrong here , I dont get it . Dude had one and only one intention here, getting this girl by all means . He did and he should be happy , he was not . now he is complaining ???
advice for Mr. Anon. go figure what you want in a woman , who you want , and when you do get it, accept what you get. you chose to sweat for it, you could have chosen to “run like the wind” you did not. suck it up.
******
yes , I am for real
MWC, very aggressive and confrontational response… I don’t see what you aim to accomplish.
OMG, My point of argument is because you said let’s feel sorry for her. I don’t feel she deserves any sympathy. She got more out of this whole hoopla then he did. She wanted to be friends – she got it. She wasn’t sure – he patiently waited for the final word. She wanted him – she got him. He then woke up and said hell no so she went back to square one! So exactly how did she lose out on this whole deal?
I’m gonna agree to disagree on this cause I can see it going on forever with everyone trying to prove their point.
Oh my god #61,
he chose to be strung along, yes he did in the name of love, but still doesn’t change the fact she strung him along now does it.. does she deserve any blame??
I will pray ende anchi aynet manem wond bayagaTemewu….
ok ok lets not get carried away here. I am not a man eater
benatachihu
My argument is – I mean at least he got what he wanted – in the name of love he was strung along. And he got her .
But her , she did not do it for love , nor did she do it for him. She didnt like him in the first place.
She got nothing out of this whole thing cant you see?? she lost big time here . she did it in the name of …. confusion ???
just for second imagin why she did this ? try to go in her mind and think …There she was doing her thing , living her life . Not looking for Mr. Anon.
keza there comes Mr. Anon. promises the world to her , gave her all the attention . Even kissed away her tears when she was down….. tada ! there was someone out there , a potential relationship that she should give a try . And she did . I see nothing wrong with that .
How many of you got in to a relationship totally in love, of course you see some green light from the other party and you try it . It either works or it doesn’t. For various reasons . That is the scenario that I set in my head .
If I made it worse … engidih beqa. Agree to disagree .
[quote comment="53634"]MWC, very aggressive and confrontational response… I don’t see what you aim to accomplish.[/quote]” ”
Injera: in all sincerity, I had no expectation to reap any fruit outta of it.
But, at some point, those who constantly bash Abesha (Yonas, Story, Seble)or Africanism for that matter with no valid point ..must prove (to me at least on their cyber paper) ..what they say & do match and teaches me soemthing so I break that shell they keep insulting..so i venture out and explore and learn something that they claim is missing from my Abesha gene. So, i need to know what that missing part. If they can’t then ..i just have to stand up & voice my disgust. so they pick one or two wisdom, what it really means to be an African. just plain truth.
i just have had enough..it is just not fair to diminsh and be insulted by one’s own what and who we are, as a people, with useless breeds who can’t use opportunities to something good. [am including my own nephew fYI.] ..so, my stand is be real.
if you can prove me, the immigrant, that you, the cool, can teach me a thing or two, then i better need to step up in matching you. but, if you can’t prove it, just be sincere and let us learn from eachother. Just straight talk.
BTW, I enjoyed your response of post #26.
good analysis.
Wow. I am totally lost for words. Come on Abesha men. Wake up and try to be men for once in your lives.
It is all B/s how anonymous is typical ego sensitive abesha. What makes abeshas think their ego is too senstive and if someone dares to deny them what they want then all hell sets loose. I see their animal nature in Ethiopia once their ego gets slapped.
IN the west where u live MR. Anonymous all you can do is complain which is good.
Miss Mimi.
stop whining as litte girl and be a woman.
The man you so “adore as u said” is not man enough. If he was man enough he should have handled your mood. While you sit and cry he has forgotten the 4 yr u say you shared. HE is getting his groove on somewhere. That is why he is distant. When he has no one to groove with he will bounce back to you. Hopefully you will be woman enough to humiliate him with rejection. IN the mean time my womanly advice to you is to get your groove on on the side. Go to the clubs, u will meet plenty of bachelors. Don’t wait for his phone call. Get your groove on.
OMG, LOL I can’t believe Mr and Ms Anonymous got us trying to figure out their mess and they ain’t even gave us the full story. You know the saying…..it’s easier said then done.
rehashing old arguments, how come we haven’t moved forward in this discussion …its seems like the same discussion over and over!
wondata wants bernos to educate abesha women to become more forthcoming aydel? all the generalizing assumptions about abesha men this and abesha women that in this “ethiofused” discussion aside-
… let them compromise… she shouldn’t string him along for to long to hash out his intentions/personality… and he should respect that she has the right to get to know him better to decide. beka…each situation is different (for more on this refer to #68)
No man, I don’t mean to insult u. I am just saying that the way u handled ur relation with that gurl was kind of frutiy. lol. And I do respect ur manhood but I am just sayin that i think u need to step ur game up man. sorry but u handled it just like a fucken gay white boy.
yeah, this Ethiofusion stuff gets me going all the time (of course, by all the time
I mean the one other time it got me
A few thoughts I wanted to share:
First, I really don’t think love is supposed to be so hard. I don’t think it should involve “I am scared he is not interested anymore”, “I think I pushed him away because I was having a bad week”, “she strung me along and I hate her for that” , “I really love her but she does not reciprocate my feelings, but I still love her” etc, etc, crap.
When we love, truly and wholly, it should be all about ‘damn she is fine and I can not wait to spend sometime with her”, “I feel (and look) like crap but I have no doubt he still loves me” “ he/she loves me as much as I love her/him” and most of all “ I love loving u”. All these confusions and heartaches labeled “love” are incorrectly “bar-coded” and need to get off the love shelf.
True love brings joy, satisfaction and a sense of hope. It makes us feel good about ourselves, satisfies our thirst, and makes us believe the impossible. True love is secure and happy. Now, in order for this to be realized, the feeling has to be reciprocated.
As fundamentally selfish beings, we only truly love when we are guaranteed the above and the above can only be guaranteed if the love is reciprocated. Hence, I do not believe any one is capable of loving – truly loving-without their feelings being reciprocated. They may be obsessed, mesmerized, determined or settling. Or they may be just plain egotistic (the “how dare s/he not reciprocate my feelings” ones). But I tell you, it is not love. (I sure hope not- it can not be or it should not be)
So…anonymous, if I may dare say, no one loved anyone in your story. You were determined and perhaps obsessed, she was settling or more likely confused (darn those romantic weddings – they just make you wanna fall in love!) and hence the reason why the whole affair crumbled so soon after its inception
Second, even if the above is void, until a woman expressing her physical, sexual and emotional desires openly and clearly to a man becomes acceptable or even desirable in the majority of the Ethiopian community, the Ethifusion lives on!!!
Darn, that was long…..I told u this ethiofusion stuff gets me going. ha!
ditto ! ditto ! ditto ! ditto 1,000,000.00gize to#71
It is very desirable, I think that is why EthioFused was written to say this is wrong… anyways I agree with most of your claims about love.
Noles, so how come the Ethiofused label only applies to Ethio women? How come the confused ethio brothers dont get the same label?
Bull sh** to the #73 comment about Ethiofusion
I think we should use bemegerem’s comment on #71 as reference for any comments coming next that concern love and related issues.
very well said bemegerem
I agree with you #71 Bemegerem
I am wondering do ethio ppl here ever marry for love?
….. I for one married b/c I thought it is time for me to and my partner like wise..
ethiofused or not …. love is a luxury
[quote comment="54521"]
ethiofused or not …. love is a luxury[/quote]
Couldn’t agree more. If love was the only requirment for marriage, more than 50% of the US marriages wouldn’t end in divorce courts.
To top the last two points…
marriage for love is not an Ethiopian tradition…. i mean most of our ancestors were set up through family minamin and they still had a good marriage…
by now, eastcoasters have hit the road. well it is …dawn ..WeGagan new…here yet
Chala,
true, LOVE is not the only requirement. However, it is the CORE, (Meseso!)
if the other factors had been bundled within a checker scale, then, we all ‘d’ve’n happier everafter. But, that happens only in an ideal world.
what consumes humans is the junk that we create to classify & divide us to outdo eachother to exercise authority.power.ego.
~cheers.
[quote comment="54586"]To top the last two points…
marriage for love is not an Ethiopian tradition…. i mean most of our ancestors were set up through family minamin and they still had a good marriage…[/quote] “”
- – -
Hmmm…”good marriage” … says Nolawi.
If you, 23,000 miles away, look up to orbit and looking at a spacecraft, it appears stationary to the bare eyes. Why? you know it. i leave it to you.
in the same token, many marriages looks healthy (i.e. stationary). they are bound my many factors, one of them “culture” and women’s attitude & perception of that culture.
It teachs them to be submissive & all things & make things appear healthy even if it is not. But, How long really love, romance live on? that is the question to ask. Do they live on cherish or are there things (culuture & its wings) that pin them own and kick them while down so they pretend that they are all good, and alright?
After all, they are all humans. If people (us) in the West bicker so bad, and crumble left-right, then, why they be different? what is really keeping them glued?
in a society, it is the wisdom-of-woman that has the behind-scene-magnet. Her use of her “Reject Attract” magnetic power has a lot to do on how and where society orients, and ends up, imho.
Middle East & men, their women & Islam is good example. The same with our H/Abesha or Africa.
Women are in abundance, but i’ve admiration and respect to those:
.who wisely exercise ego, & Feminine-power and are in control of all its branches (power.authority.Qungena.knowledge.intellect….etc) and successfully (even lead the way)establish, build, nurture a relatively if not sounding, safe & romantic, most of all PURPOSEFUL life with those their likes…whatever the environment be.
.The second type of women …. i leave it to your own analysis and imagination.
-Cheers. Have a great weekend. It is in deed beautifl out here as usual. AtiQenuben eski ..ye’40 (80) Qen Edlachu new:-)
bakih bakih MWC please keep your comments a little bit shorter and to the point . If you can … malet new .
have to say it, huh? What? Shorter? Why? Then how do we get to read what he thinks? His comments are the best plus you’re digressing. don’t ruin the flow of the comments with your 1/2 santeem.
So please MOC keep doing what you’re doing!
Yikirta . Betam beunet , alaschil bilogn new Fikirte . just had to say it .
have to say it,I usually don’t comment but you hit a nerve!
You didn’t have to say it. You wanted to say it and how rude! First you must be a man because you know LLMWC (ladies love MWC) Second why don’t you talk about the topic and in case you didn’t know you can skip over some comments. There is no limited space for comments.
Be nice this is not the school yard. People here are adults so try to play a “grown up” otay!
Now let me enjoy this blog without your nonsense.
fikirte I am with you all the way.
I thought MWC’s,comments were written so eloquently …..it takes a confident and real man to posses those qulities {i.e comments #80 ,81 }….HAVE TO SAY IT ,please let MWC do his thing (make women happy)…….don’t be player hater .
If everybody thinks like MWC ,world would be a better place.
MWC is is always a privilage to hear from you man …….or should I say casanova.
peace
..reading posts #82-#86 was nice. before i hit the door ..let me respond.. “Shortly or to the point” if i can.
Fikirte, bruk ke’WeGebe Gobded biye.. MesGanayen fessess ..lenantew. thanks for the compliment.
Fikirtye, bruk homey, now since “Have to say it” sounds a mellow person according to her (post #84), can we also be mellow and say to her…homey..sorry for being harsh on you? ..please if in deed “LLMWC” has some iota of truth…lene sitilu..engidiyaw ..
Have to say it: There is a lot to say about our corner of the world, and us, as a people. Maybe you were one of those fortunate and protected ones and didn’t see the magnitude of suffering that we, a big portion of your citizens, even, as children boys/girls, had to go thru and are still going thru. so those experiences FLASHBACK and force us to write even looooong when you hear people talking about it. sharing is good, so others be informed. It may be a rude awakening of their conscious but it helps seeing things realistically.
Can you believe in a society, how dare, the few, destroy the sense of us, our dignity, our being. Truly, if you are an Addis kid, roamed Addis as you grew up, like me, and saw it from the angle i saw it, that would have given you the entire picture of as to why i admire & support the UNDERDOG: the ordinary, and women. against immeasureable cruelty & neglect, they walk with unbreakable spirit and that just captivates my heart.
I am not sincerely comment to please/anger any one on this blog. i don’t know anyone in person. But, my comments are just plain matter-of-fact, and share and reflect what i have seen and experienced first hand in our society and the world at large. so, that is that. and of course challenge others to help me see their point-of-view, or VzVz.
may you all have a mellow Weekend!
I say AMEN to comments by Fikirte, Bruk, and MWC.
MWC I say you change your nick to LLMWC. Love it!
Have to say it, mts, mts, mts…..is my response to your comments. But hey that’s what it’s all about everyone sharing their ideas, thoughts, experiences. So please give us your thoughts of the topic. mts.
Wow, I can’t believe you worked so hard to get together with this person to turn right back around and F#$% it up majorly. You should have seen the day you two decided to get together after all the time and hearache as the first day of the rest of your life with the person and leave it at that. Fate is not as kind to everyone as to grant you a chance with someone who you claimed was the love of your life. But you weren’t man enough to let by gones be by gones and actually you’re coming off a bit phsycotic to me and I think she’s lucky becasue this side of you could have came out after 5 years of marriage and some kids and she would have been screwed. You’re the stuff of my nightmare boyfriend / husband. You think you know them and $#1t is cool but it’s a different story in their F-ed up head.
Mayne you got some mad demons in your head boy I feel sorry for the woman you dumped. Im sure she will find somone better than yoursefl get over yourselve your not the first and only man to walk on the planet. Reading this makes me wary about getting involved with my fellow country man all got say is you got some mad issues!
[quote comment="61362"]Mayne you got some mad demons in your head boy I feel sorry for the woman you dumped. Im sure she will find somone better than yoursefl get over yourselve your not the first and only man to walk on the planet. Reading this makes me wary about getting involved with my fellow country man all got say is you got some mad issues![/quote]
get real first of all one man should not be an example to how all your “countrymen” are going to be..?
secondly, “wary about getting involved with fellow country man”
what the hell is wrong with you? isn’t your father and your brother your fellow country man….puhlease excuse you… and you need to get over yourself…
nolwai,i think what ,hiwot, referring to ‘country man’ is not her brother or father stop mixing up ,but jerk men like you and engeda .stop being defensive and get over yourself .you seem very short tempered guy from most of your comments …scary ….
Abeba, Just because Nolawiye knows BS when he hears it and is quick to point it out don’t hate. Hiwot was full of herself. The almighty African Queen doesn’t want anyone from her land because Abebe did Abebech wrong. Now that calls for a repeated “Get over yourself already” to you too.
When she puts down her countrymen it doesn’t exclude the men in her family or her friends. She has created an assumption that truly makes an ass out of what she said and now you follow in her footsteps (are you two related?)
It is wrong to label Nolawiyen, “short tempered” just because he stated his opinion. You seem to be dipping your nose where it doesn’t belong but I’m not placing a label on you now am I?
FELQLEQ, SOUNDS LIKE YOU GOT A BATTERED WOMAN SYNDROME ,STANDING UP FOR JERKS .STOP KISSING UP YOU SOUND LIKE SUBMISSIVE ……….
[quote comment="61416"]FELQLEQ, SOUNDS LIKE YOU GOT A BATTERED WOMAN SYNDROME ,STANDING UP FOR JERKS .STOP KISSING UP YOU SOUND LIKE SUBMISSIVE ……….[/quote]
You are on a roll with the labeling today aren’t you? What are you a psychologist in training? I could tell you what you sound like but then that would be mirroring your behavior now wouldn’t it? Since you’re begging for it, I think you are one little girl who has issues with men and life in general. You seem bitter and in dire need for attention. I say this because you seem to have everyone figured out but yourself. So you wanna name call then do so but remember there are plenty of names to go around and you’re not immune or soooo special to be left out.
Nolawiye says “exuse you and get over yourself”
You come back with, “you’re a jerk, defensive, and short tempered”
I say “get over yourself and don’t make ASSumptions”
You come back with “got a battered woman syndrome, submissive”
You are a joke! Go read a book on personality disorders and maybe you’ll learn more about yourself. See now I’m stooping down to your level just to make my point so you can understand.
Your attitude is the reason why many Abesha men complain about Abesha women.
MEOW MEOW MEOW
Hachoooooo (sniff, sniff) damn allergy season. Abeba or Hiwot can you hand me a tissue
make sure it’s not the same type you’re using. Thanks.
celebratlife ,it is okay i still like you ,I love your articles.
mts, sarcasm alert (I’m ducking). Lol Peace! Toss that to Mr Anonymous cause he started this mess
[quote comment="61407"]nolwai,i think what ,hiwot, referring to ‘country man’ is not her brother or father stop mixing up ,but jerk men like you and engeda .stop being defensive and get over yourself .you seem very short tempered guy from most of your comments …scary ….[/quote]
ABEBA, do you know how to READ???? srsly do u??
You just seem “reply” happy whether you’re making sense or not. First of all, I don’t know if there’s another Engenda, this is my first time ever posting so where in your crazy head are you seeing “most” of my “scary” comments? And newsflash, I’m a girl.
On the other hand, looking at “most” of your comments………….hahahaha
I’ll leave that an open sentence, I’m sure a couple of ppl would love to finish that up, anyone???? celebr….??:):)
You guys seem to use my line Get over yorselves to high extent the meaning behind it is very simple. There you are talking about this girl you used to love and how the minute she started showing you some love beleive me it happens a human being has the ability to fall in love with a rock or dingay if you put youre mind to it. All Im saying is this girl you used to love does not necessarily mean tha she could be crying over you shes probabley having fun and thinking to herself I knew there was a reason why never liked him in the start?
So all I gotta say is just becuase you tur around and break up with someone for some stupid reason about hwo she took over your brain the girl is probabley glad your gne. Oh and by the way my bothers ad father dont compare to my fellow men they are just unique theyre normal they dont have made issues with themselves and females. Abeba you go gir keep puting these saddos in their place oh ad feleque afin yaz!
I got you sis,hiwot
[quote comment="62113"]I got you sis,hiwot[/quote]
I’m glad you guys got each other. You’ll need her on the cold winter nights the way you’re hating our men.
Women don’t hate men this much without reason.
wait … what exactly is a “groom’s maid”?
[quote comment="61404"]…
get real first of all one man should not be an example to how all your “countrymen” are going to be..?
secondly, “wary about getting involved with fellow country man”
what the hell is wrong with you? isn’t your father and your brother your fellow country man….puhlease excuse you… and you need to get over yourself…[/quote]
It is very convenient to foreget that this article, as well as the concept of ‘ethofusion’, has been about generalizing and bashing Ethiopian women en masse. I guess it didn’t strike a chord with the author and Nolawi as it was directed at the other gender, and clearly as these two people also don’t have mothers nor sisters(per Nalawi’s argument).
Now it all makes sense. Thanks Bernos – for making me think less of our community. There is something very rotten about this article.
Before somebody jumps to make a feeble attempt to use my own argument at me, I mean the article and the many disappointing responses that followed which were devoid of reason.
Maybe one should look at Bernos as a venting ground than a place of discussion, because there are some seriously deluded angry people out here.
To Nolawi ( i think your’re the blog owner)
Ethiofused this is my first time reading this word.
Does is mean a confused Ethiopian man or woman? do ppl use the term often? I am not sure?
I would like to know more about ethiofused.
Thank you.
As Steve Jobs use to say ‘It’s not a faith in technology. It’s faith in people.’
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