I got burnt, played, bamboozled, punked, schooled fucked over, taken or whatever else slang terms are used when someone is fooled. My sister recently told me that she hates it when someone tells her that they are a good judge of character.
The phrase is, ‘I know people;’ knowing people as in figuring out someone’s moral character or integrity at first sight. Apparently everyone thinks that they are a good judge of character when no one really is, was what she was referencing.
I am of the opinion that she is right, not everyone is good at figuring people out right at first sight. I prefer to judge based on historical evidence, hence I ask questions, lots of them. I try not to use volunteered answers to against them but it helps me categorize people in groups.
Yes, I know I am not perfect; in fact I am far from it. My faults are more than a page, but for all that I lack, I make it up with loyalty and honesty. And regardless of someone’s faults, if I feel like someone is loyal and honest with me, I will accept them as a trusted acquaintance and or sometimes although rare, as my friend.
I am always surprised by how patient men are with women. The players don’t care so they just ignore women who are reaching out for attention by playing games. The others just wait and wait and then eventually forget without making a big deal out of a big issue.
People do whatever they want and say sorry or just ignore that fact they did so without consideration of someone else’s position.
I am proud to say, I am the opposite of most males. I am not like those players who just don’t care, because I do. I am not like those guys who are so patient, women could walk all over them and they just sit there and wait like a mat; I have no patience whatsoever.
My lack of patience has protected me and I respect it for that. It also limits my experiences with people in general, but nobody is perfect and it’s a balance I am happy to live with.
I got played this past week, someone set me up and kept setting me up for a week, like a con artist sets up the mark by gaining their confidence. The fact is I suspected the person for a trickster and had a change of heart at some point.
The same point the tricksters suggested that I maybe the con man who was playing games. I felt guilty, awkward and then said things I will regret for a long time to come.
Like the girl from 10th grade in high school who recommended I touch her big boobs, nonchalantly suggesting that I leave my girl friend for her and not remembering the encounter behind the stairway of English class after I broke up with my real girlfriend. I will remember.
The mark was set up! You think you can spot a con artist because he/she someone you instinctively “don’t trust.” But the term con artist is short for confidence artist — they gain your confidence just long enough to get their hands on your trust.
Then boom, you are burned; played, chumped!
And that is what happened to me, it only took a week to get set up! Although this kind of things are very common in our society and is seen as no big deal, get over it, it happens; its hard to swallow for me and it has only happened 3 times. Two of them I shared, maybe I will share the other one day.
Published by July 6th, 2010 in Advice, Dating and Personal.
Sorry Noli it sucks being played. But if this is only the third time it has happened to you consider yourself lucky
My philosophy is better to be played than live with the knowledge of you hurting someone else. I can live better knowing that I was hurt cause I was naive and trusting than live with the agony that I hurt someone or abused their trust. So I actually think you in a better situation that the Ms player wannabe chicka that missed out. I know I dont have a lot of supporters but if you had to choice between being a player or your honest trusting 3-times burned Nolawiye.. what would you choose?
Not everyone is good at figuring out people at first sight. However, we can all improve our ability to make the right interpretation of our gut feelings. There are several books written on “thin-slicing” but I highly suggest you read Blink by Malcolm Gladwell so you don’t get played next time:)
Michelle,
I am not against books but the major problem with books on these topics is that you kind of have to be on the same wave length as the author, which is rare. As a result most readers tend to take formulas from books instead of lessons. That complicates things further….when you try to understand it at somebody else’s level.
Rule of thumb: Follow ur guts. guts r smarter than we think. Unfortunately, we ignore them when we see the charm.
ok people once i wrote this i feel so much better… its not like i was looking for GF or something… just got lied too and not after the fact i feel like i made it a big deal.. it was but i am over it!
..to piggy back on what Dinich has said… women tend to take their sixth sense more seriously than men do… so men fall into traps easier than women.. how about that for an other rule of thumb. Ha!
I am tired of Gladwell being the know it all for everything!
Dear Nolawi,
the main thing ‘your’e over it’, period- actually no further discussions/comments needed-. You had, as we say in Europe your ‘kostenlose Selbstbehandlung’. Great!
.great writer .nolawi.. all there . until. u .conteinu..you.have .meny speak with your several.firends . u have .good aidea . how you nows . to meit .by frequently opjecet .shear to ever bedy gather to yourself and make it .good thing .from there . you see miss . nolawi .but after .long wite .with me .i went to see .your pictuer .full albem . personal. hestory because i admair .you .no some one speed tailent writer . we learn too much thing word for you
@ Gennet:
Free Self
according to Google?
Damn man, exactly what did she do to set you up in JUST ONE WEEK and make you feel this way????????? What was the gain for her to do so?? Con artists rob you of your wealth, just what did she take from you that has you feeling this way???? Either way, it is good that you’re over it and stay away from tricksters like that……..
@ Kidist:
she has apologized and told me that it was not intentional… so she was just oblivious and inconsiderate…
my translation to ‘kostenlose Selbstbehandlung = free of charge selftreatment (is that correct English? Hope it makes sense.
always trust yr gut. it slips me who it was but sb once said what we refer to as our 6th sense is the ‘God in us’ & i believe that.
I used to really enjoy reading the blogs on bernos but I am very disappointed in the content and writing of current blogs. It’s like a restaurant that has a new owner. Please try to maintain the originality and creativity that garnered you a huge fan base.
One question, if you are not looking for a GF or a serious relationship why make a big fuss about itit?
Hello i am kavin, its my first time to commenting anyplace,
when i read this article i thought i could also make comment due to this good article.
help my anus is too wide
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