This is a question I have frequently encountered growing up as an Ethiopian kid in the middle of nowhere, Texas. Actually, the question was more of “what are you?”
I would rightly claim my Ethiopian identity each time it was asked but as I got older and moved to a part of the country where there were more of us, part of me questioned whether I had a right to that title.
Our community is excellent at exclusion and marginalization. In many instances if you do not eat the right food, wear your hair the right way, or speak a perfect accent less Amarigna then you are “not one of us.” I have a friend whose family endearingly calls each other “yene ferenj” each time one of them does something considered not “normally” Ethiopian. Even as a term of endearment it still at times works to distance.
My story begins in Ethiopia. At age 4 my family was forced to flee and we ended up in the Netherlands. There I was able to hold on to my Amarigna but I also quickly picked up Dutch – the first language I learned to read and write. At age 9 my family relocated again, this time to Texas. This was an easier transition as my family already was proficient in English. The Dutch was quickly forgotten and I immersed myself into 1990s American culture with its scrunched socks, brightly colored clothes, and side ponytails.
Still, a part of me felt unsettled and unattended to. For the first 7 years we lived in areas with no other Ethiopians so I did not have that connection. Fast forward another 3 years to my sophomore year in college and my first Ethiopian friend. The connection was undeniable. We just “got” each other and she remains my oldest friend to this day.
She allowed me to include my Ethiopian identity into my day to day life. We would sneak out of our small college town to the nearest large city for some Injera and Ethiopian fellowship — even if it was from afar as we both were a bit intimidated to jump into the community with both feet.
The fear for me was being judged and rejected. Being rejected by Americans stung but felt less powerful since I didn’t want to be one of them anyway. However, to be rejected by my own people, the community I claimed even with my broken Amarigna, would have been devastating. At this time I thought you had to do things exactly as they did it to truly be Ethiopian and to truly be accepted.
Fast forward another 11 years and here I am older and wiser yet with the same deep love for my community. After finishing graduate school and having the validation and security of a grown up professional life I thought I had the courage, intelligence, and wisdom to invest more fully into the community.
The hope was that they would have room for me and my mixed up self. I am at a point where I am ready to settle down and marry and though I had loved an American and another Immigrant in the past I wanted to build a home with an Ethiopian.
Through exposure to the many different Ethiopians I realized to my delight that we do not have to be the same to stay connected to the essence that makes us a community. This heart from East Africa will continue to beat through us and we get to choose how we portray it to the rest of the world. With this realization I fell in love with the wide expressions of life by the young Ethiopian community. Over time people have managed to meld their world experiences and create a lifestyle that fits each of them.
Based on this concept of united despite our differences my sister and I have started a project to capture the diversity of the expressions of lifestyles by the young Habesha Diaspora. I use the term Habesha, for lack of a better term, to include both Ethiopian and Eritrean young people who have spent most if not all their life outside their parents’ country of origin. We are working on finding a more inclusive term to replace “Habesha” so please be patient with us on that piece. As I was saying, with help, we sisters are working on a book whose goal is to capture the diversity of Habesha identity in this group of young people through a collection of photography, artwork and written works.
If you are a young Ethiopia and/or Eritrean writer, poet, artist, or photographer and have work that illustrates this identity, we want to publish your work. Go to http://habeshadiaspora.wordpress.com for information on how to submit your work. The best of these submissions will be compiled in a book and published.
The website says there is a September 30th 2009 deadline but if you have a viable peace email us (habeshadiaspora@ gmail.com) and we might be able to work with you. It’s time to show the world who we are and we hope to include your voice!
Published by August 27th, 2009 in Thoughts.
” We are working on finding a more inclusive term to replace “Habesha” so please be patient..
Nice and heartfelt piece but am not quite sure why the need to change the word Habesha and I thought that was the most inclusive term of all, no? Most of all, please let me know how the need arose to change the term.
thanks,
tsedey
I am neither here nor there; never was, never will be: Never stay put in one apartment, one city or one state for more than two years… only if possible to change residence to another planet. sometimes that feels depressing but many times its a high I live on. the same people, the same place, the same culture, don’t feel one of me. I keep moving, stay nomad, the only way I came to know. And there are billions like me on this planet.
Tsedey,
That’s what we initially thought too. However, soon after starting to advertise the project several people approached us asking that we reconsider the term. Abesha.com actually does a good job of explaining the dilemma on their site. Here are their words on their struggle to use (h)abesha:
“Note:
We selected the name Abesha.com due to our desire to select a neutral and commonly shared term of reference for both Ethiopians and Eritreans. However, since the site’s inception, we’ve learned many in Ethiopia do not associate with the term h/abesha, as it excludes groups such as Oromos, Somalis, and the many Southern Nations, Nationalities and Peoples. We have also learned a number of Eritreans do not refer to themselves as “habesha”, such as Rashaidas, Kunamas and others. Perhaps, the biggest lesson we have acquired is that the term “h/abesha” is a complex phrase that has specific social, geographical and sometimes political connotations and we will reserve it as a name that is quite vulnerable to constant modifications. Consequently, our view of this label is as one that gravitates us towards a deeper understanding of the complex fabrics that make a nation and with such gravitation comes many lessons. And with such lessons comes a clearer understanding of ourselves and those around us.
While we sincerely apologize for our ignorance in misperceiving “h/abesha” as a holistically applicable identity to both Eritreans and Ethiopians, we believe that it has and continues to achieve the essence and spirit we originally intended the word to embody. And the credit for the survival of such essence largely goes to you, our readers, for seeing past our ignorance and understanding our goals.”
Anonx: can you put yourself in words/pictures and share your unique perspective? We’d love to include it. I agree there are billions like you and me but the difference is that many (most?) pretend not to be. They keep trying to push their square selves into round holes. As a result they are not as happy and they stand out more. The purpose of this book is to celebrate being different/yourself.
Anonx,
Why is it depressing at times ?
spacefog–
Because its healthy that one gets attached to a city, a neighborhood, a community, feel ownership of space….I suppose the depression may lies somewhere in the lack of some or all of that.
Mahlet–I will think about it.
Spacefrog: i can relate to Anonx’s point. In my experience this comes from always being in between 2 worlds (“home” as in Ethiopia(ns) and “other”). You never quite fit in 100% in either.
Anonx: Thanks
Let me know if you need to bounce ideas around or need someone to read something.
I think the depression comes from the identity issues like mahlet mentioned… its a well written phenom… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quarter-life_crisis but in this case there is an additional element of belongingness…
i have seen this many times over…
I think Senduq.com tpeace was writing about it recently… or reading the book
It’s funny you mention that Nolawi. The publisher we signed with (Twenty Stories Publishing: http://twentystories.com/) has another book they published on the quarter life crisis: “Quarter Passed: Collected Works from Twentysomethings Around the World” (March 2009)
One of the reasons they decided to take on this project is because of it’s relatedness to this previous work.
@ Mahlet:
i am smart….
No doubt about that, Nolawi, no doubt about that…
yeah well some of us have been suffering from what is known as “Daily Life Crisis” since we were born. yetadele has crisis showing up every 25 years or so. I hope i will be able to distinguish my QLCs and MLCs from the DLCs when they arrive.
lol fanos! Mahlet, great piece! When do you forsee getting the book published?
@ SKgirl:
Well – the original plan is to have it published and ready to go out June-July 2010. This is very dependent on the submissions we get, though. Liya and I would rather put off publishing until we have enough quality pieces to really make this a quality book.
There is this constant cycle of optimism, rejection, acceptance and growth… for me, anyway. When I find a place to settle into I do a grand job of fooling everyone and maybe myself, to some extent, that I belong here. Then something happens- a situation that strips us down of pretenses, like a prism which I stumble upon – refracting me into all of my elements. And then it’s obvious. I am different, rejected, and then come to a deeper understanding of myself. My feelings towards this phenomenon shift like a race car driver. Growing pains keep me from consistently appreciating this blessing in disguise. But when I see that … that thing that’s created in ‘us’ because of constantly having to ask those deeper and more difficult questions… that way of viewing the world that is more holistic– I am grateful.
Liya, that was powerful … great writing too, would love to read more of you. You should totally do this.
Liya – is co-editing this book with me.
She is also submitting a couple pieces, right Liy?
check out habeshadiaspora@wordpress.com for more of Liya’s writing.
Thank you Luliye
And I actually hope to hear from you for the book… Submissions can be about anything that has anything to do with being Abesha. Funny, sad, honest, made-up (as long as you label it fiction), about shinkurt, karya, agelgel, tibs and shiro, anything at all. I think I’m hungry.
And it’s true. I have already submitted a couple of pieces to the book project I’m co-editing with my amazing Heaven sent sister, Mahlet.
I love you to pieces. And thank you for sharing you with the world. It’s a priceless gift in my opinion.
I think it’s actually habeshadiaspora.wordpress.com? Ayzosh Mahleteye… dekmoshal aydel? teeheehee
Liya
Lol – i kept looking at that and couldn’t figure out what was wrong with the link i was trying to share…Thanks for fixing that Liy!! Once i’m not sick anymore I’ll get my *ish* together…i promise.
You are Ethiopian American. Once you realize that you are an American and that Americans are each very different and diverse and come from many backgrounds, it becomes easier.
Ethiopian is also the most inclusive term. In the original Greek, it included all of Africa and the Middle East as well as India.
Asraand: when I ask how did I get here;why;and where is everybody… Then the material possetion that America is takes second place.
Or accepting yourself as an American when American hasn’t fully accepted its people of ‘color’ ….. Not easy.
I’m not sure what that means. The President is a man of color.
You don’t need anyone to accept you. You just have to accept who you are and define yourself. Everything else comes naturally. Others will accept your definition.
The President of the US is a man of color with a Muslim name no less. Only the extrimists care about silly stuff like skin color or ethnic background. It is about how you behave, communicate, and treat people.
You don’t need anyone’s acceptance. Just be comfortable with yourself and accept yourself. If you need a definition, then define yourself!
The President of the US is a man of color with a Muslim name no less!
You don’t need anyone’s acceptance. Just be comfortable with your own skin.
Don’t keep falling for that trap. Don’t let anyone dictate who you are, how you feel, or where you are going. It is all upto you.
@ Asraand:
I think the key here is what you said: “You don’t need anyone’s acceptance…You don’t need anyone’s acceptance. Just be comfortable with yourself and accept yourself. If you need a definition, then define yourself!….Don’t let anyone dictate who you are, how you feel, or where you are going. It is all upto you.”
When i first read your response yesterday it struck a nerve with me because i felt like you were trying to define me. The whole purpose of this project is just what you wrote in your later posts – give this group of people the space to define themselves and don’t exclude them if their definition differs slightly from yours. For example – i have friends and family who define themselves as Ethiopian American. I somehow can’t swallow that definition – not sure why, still working on that. What I have learned through the interviews in this project is that there are many like me who don’t connect with that label – even people who were born and raised in the U.S. My bottom line – I want people to give me & others the space to define this essence, this experience, for ourselves.
Mahlet,
Good luck with your work.
I didn’t mean to strike a nerve. Who needs a label anyway? Unless it is Johnny walker Black Label….
I kid but, I stumbled onto this site while at work and really enjoy reading it. I finally visited Ethiopia after a 23 year absence since my childhood. I drove cross country. I loved it. I felt like I was hanging out with my relatives. Most looked like me and had similar personalities. But I also realized that I am more American than I ever thought.
In retrospect, I think it is one of those things where the grass is greener on the other side of the lawn.
This is a very diverse place and we just need to open our eyes at the wider world. There is room and opportunity for us here to be great. Why can’t we have farms in the midwest producing Teff and selling it to the diaspora? Why can’t we have Ethiopian TV programming here with all the avenues open? We can and much more. We just need to get over our identity crisis and define ourselves for the future by what we do today.
Talk is cheap. Let’s go out there and live it!! ( a lot of coach-speak huh?)
But overall, I am pumped about life and the opportunities it presents!
@ Asraand:
Thank you for that comment. No offense taken. I think my reaction just speaks to this identity thing still being a work in progress and questions/statements like yours only will help clarify things for me.
I also stand 100% behind your last message. I think people allow this identity question (among many things) to keep them from reaching their potential. Your message is a good one. Don’t let anything get in the way of your greatness. Just as other immigrant groups who’ve been here longer than us have been able to do – we can create a niche and space for our community as well. I see this already happening on the small scale and it’s only a matter of time before we reach the things you are talking about. (Ex: Admas Radio, Dinq Magazine, Helm Magazine, the variety of online resources that are by us for us, the farms in Minnesota that produce teff, and on and on.)
As for the identity crisis – i encourage people to struggle through it because this allows for a more intentional process and outcome that can be used in a positive way. I just wish we as a community would leave room that allows others to go through this process at their own pace and in their own direction without putting them down and creating barriers along the way.
If you are working on a piece for this book then you know that the deadline is tomorrow. Please contact us at habeshadiaspora@gmail.com and let us know you will be submitting. If you decide you need more time let us know that as well.
By the way – you know that your piece can be anonymously published, right? We’d need your name/contact info for our records but we don’t have to attach your name to your piece in the published work. Email us with any questions.
In recent weeks we had numerous requests to push back the deadline and open up the parameters of who can submit. After reviewing submissions, requests for criteria changes, and the goals of the project we agreed with the feedback and have made the following changes:
1. The deadline for submissions has been pushed to December 31, 2009
2. Those living in the U.S. AND CANADA are welcome to submit now
3. Those 18 AND UP are welcome to submit now
So if you or someone you know has great ideas and you fit the changed criteria above we would love to hear from you. We can be reached at:
EMAIL: habeshadiaspora@gmail.com
WEBSITE: http://habeshadiaspora.wordpress.com/
SUBMISSION PAGE: (copy and paste entire link)
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=yYw_2bl85sAHagFSX6i9eT9_2b18n1iXkcgO_2fcHt9W35z4w_3d
Thank you for your support and continue to spread the word!
Ohhh very good info !! nice job !
Thanks Calantha
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