This is not about being blunt, or rude. It’s just expressing how you feel!
Sometime you just have to say it. You did this to me and it makes me feel this way. So I said it, and he said no need to be rude, I am busy.
I know for a fact he is busy, and I know after telling him what I felt that he most likely didn’t forget intentionally.
I feel better, because if I didn’t say it I would remember it for the rest of the year or so. I just want to make the issue disappear from my head and not be angry about it.
Venting
I call it venting, and it lets steam out of your ears, nose and other body orifices. That in turn keeps you cool and going along.
The term ‘going postal’ is popular for a reason. According to wiki:
Its verb meaning to suddenly become extremely and uncontrollably angry…”
Once in a while you need to tell your boss or who ever fu*ed you that you feel betrayed even it does not change the outcome.
I make it a point to throw a semi tantrum when my friends are late beyond the point of no return.
Some people will never change and will continue to be inconsiderate, but at least I am expressing my concern so that I keep sane.
Published by February 25th, 2009 in Advice, Open and Thoughts.
(from Amazon… Ames says bullies are responsible when one goes postal)
Going Postal: Rage, Murder, and Rebellion: From Reagan’s Workplaces to Clinton’s Columbine and Beyond (Paperback)
by Mark Ames (Author) “ON SEPTEMBER 14, 1989, Joseph Wesbecker, known as “Rocky” by his co-workers, inadvertently helped spark a bloody rebellion…” (more)
I was just about to say something agreeing with Nol (coz I am like him when it comes to ‘venting’ ). But I read what Anonx wrote….and besaq motku! LOL.
The only venting I want to hear is when its done like the way its defined in that beer commercial, “Venting by sitting on a couch with your friend, drinking beer,no talking, and watching the game”..thats the only type of venting I tolerate!!!
Bez, I think that is anything but venting. In fact it is boiling and simmering inside which neither makes you feel better nor change the situation that makes you angry in the first place. But then, of course, you consume gazillion gallons of beer!
If that is the kind of “venting” you tolerate in others, how do you-yourself-vent, I mean really vent?
what was the thing they say…..goosefraba?….lol
let it out… breathe b!tch… no need for all that passive aggressive non sense.
the older I get the more I don’t care about falling out with folks. we don’t have to like each other to play on the same team. a la shaq and kobe
the moment you say what you wanted to say You will certainly regret it….I remember this phrase somewhere…and it is true for me!
Maebel, everytime I see your comment I want to sing ‘maebel neew maebel neew fekrwaa, yebaher laay yewekyanos nefeas’ (i swear betaam beka i’m singing it in my head….
Nolawi- kelebeh neew??
“I make it a point to throw a semi tantrum when friends are late beyond the point of no return.”
this line just made me me think of the teret “yeblagn leweledeh yagebachs yefetahal” okay okay i know you’ll say sharrap sooooo:)
a man of understanding holds his tongue….Prov 11:12
The catch is that u should know how to do it without it making you bitter….
I know I know….easier said than done…
i wanna know where they have ‘tact’ training – i come off as too straightforward sometimes.
tpeace… i see more and more similarities now that u mentioned it
I am so straightforward too. I never fail to let pple know if am angry or if I don’t like something. I tell it like it is, whether you like it or not. I can’t handle drama and “ke anget belay neger” that’s just tacky to me.
What a relief after I vent. Again I don’t care what the other person feels but they have to know how I feel. Selfish, i know. but sorry taht’s how am wired and beleive me I tried to change but i still struggle with that flaw(?) sometimes I don’t know if that’s a flaw or just the way I am. One thing tho. I’d rather be this way forever than pple who hold anger/grudge and flash their teeth and pretend that they’re your friends-that I have Zero tolerance for.
Nolawi- I become irate when pple get late too.
Blunt is so good. It feels great!
i should try blunt …
If I don’t tell ppl about my reservations, I would never get over it. I don’t pretend and in the few times I tried , my face says it all.
I agree with maebel and Dini.
I rarely “say” it. Rarely do I get angry but, the times I do–I prefer to write a letter to the person I’m angry at. I never, never send or give it to the person. I get a sense of relief writing down things. The rare times I “say” it–watch out! Things will spew out of my mouth that I regret almost all of the time.
Tsedey @#11, it is not just you. i am also straightforward… and i don’t think it is a flaw either. if i don’t tell it like it is, i feel like am lying to people or myself.
I think it’s all about balance. It’s about where you are situated on the “SELF-RIGHTEOUS TW*T” to “INCONSIDERATE A**WIPE” spectrum.
If you are too nice and lecture/nag others about their faults, you are too close to the “SELF-RIGHTEOUS TW*T” side of the spectrum.
On the other hand, if you’re always blunt and call others out when they mess up, but you go berserk when others call you out, you are too close to the “INCONSIDERATE A**WIPE” side of said spectrum.
Walid, in the words of a chinese lady “I joke I joke, I kid I kid”..I was just making a refrence to the beer commerical (The guy and his friends in the commercial describe venting as drinking beer while watching the game and his wife defines venting like everybody else..One day she comes back from work and says “honey! do you mind if I vent!! He replies “OH!! NOT AT ALL!!” and starts heading to the kitchen..Then she starts rambling and he comes back with the beers in his hand..she gets mad and leaves, he says “what I thought we was venting”.
I knw it was a long description but had to clear the air. But to answer your question “what do I do to vent?”, I just go play basketball till I get dead tired and that method has done miracles for me ever since my childhood days upto now, plus I write so that takes care of any left over “venting”. I dont mind people who vent once in a while, just not all the damn time!!!
Lol @bez … Smooth cat
I just got myself a new ventilation system as i did not come into this world equipped with one and betammm des yilal when i use it once in a while! Only thing is it takes a lot of “dirgitoch” by another to get to the venting part and that in itself shows that the venting won’t change anything because they’re too attached to their insensitiveness to change it for me.
Nevertheless des yilal…besides i don’t want to deprive myself of experiencing and expressing those emotions occasionally
“Blunt is so good. It feels great”
“I should try blunt”
Priceless!
Definition blunt: a cigar that has been hollowed and refilled with marijuana.
This reminds me of a story I heard recently . The old man is a very straight forward person , he always speaks his mind at any day , any time , any situation . He is known for it . So two older ladies were talking about him and old lady #1 says ” esachew , yewah, min yakalu hodachew BADO eko new – sewiyew tiru nachew ” . meaning he doesnt hold grudge- he is very simple and straight forward .
Old lady #2 agrees , by nodding and saying of course “endet hodachew bado ayhon … sew hod eyeketetu newa ” .
Yebolelij,
lol…dat is funny and on point….That is the problem with bursting every time someone offends you…You may be relieved but at the expense of what? is the question.
They say the main cause of divorce today is money but I think it is the tongue….
i wish i done more venting….it’d do my gastritis much easier to deal with.
i don’t vent anymore, most things just don’t bother me, these days i’ve learned ways of “solving” annoyances without having to bare my fangs…you learn a lot from papa joe stalin muahahahahahaaha
They say the main cause of divorce today is money but I think it is the tongue….
Din, I could not agree more. You are to the point, as if you had some experience. I told my Ex through a heated argument. “Your mouth is your enemy; keep it in check.”
They say the main cause of divorce today is money but I think it is the tongue….
Din, I could not agree more. You are to the point, as if you had some experience. I told my Ex through a heated argument. “Your mouth is your enemy; keep it in check.”
Sorry, for new neck name; I forgot since it is a long time I posted here – Nol, remove the previous one, please.
Dinich–
An habesha street philosopher (rip) coined ‘your tongue is more developed than your mind.’ he usually pulled that line out when a motor mouth comes along
Bedford,
YeTefa sew..loooooong time…good to c ya again man.
Anonx, lol….dat is hillarious…but I guess your tongue has to be more developed than your mind in order to use that line on anyone…lol
Bed-ford…it is funny that u almost forget ur nick! The nostalgia of BP is crossing my mind so often this days!
hmm but if the couple don’t communicate then doesn’t that make a repressed relationship! the tongue is the reason for so many divorces, hu??
i think there are so many proverbs in our culture talkin bout ‘silence this…hold your tongue…that…’ lol… i wonder how much good it does as opposed to how much repression and negativity is/used to be collected pent up within us.
tpeace,
lol…u r absolutely right….anger when repressed can lead to depression and what not…passive aggressive is worse…
But again there is such a fine line between communication and argument….If I am in with a person for the long haul, there is definitely a lot of small annoying things that I need to be willing to live with….
On one extreme small annoyances can build up if you dont talk it out, on the other extreme sweating all the small stuff can strain the realtionship….I don’t mean to offer the golden key but there should definitely be a healthy balance…..
Yes, we do fight with my wife…:)
tpeace, Communication and venting your anger in way that damages the relationship to the point of no-return are two different things. One can communicate without being angry and hurting the feeling the second party – timing and choosing words are the key for a health relationship. I do not suggest keeping your feeling inside to a boiling point either – one day it blows up with small stuff. I have seen that happen to me and – I was amazed and asked where that came from – as if I do not even know that person.
Dinich and Maebel – good to see you here
i think that’s one of the most human and intricate skills that shape our experiences — communication
#22, LOL betam funny!
woy gud. Dinich the reason for today’s skyrocketing divorce rate has been declared as the tongue? I think that’s a cop out from taking responsibility and blaming it on freedom of speech in a marriage. An argument takes two peoples. Unless schizophrenia they usually have been pushed to speak nasty to a person and leading to divorce is ridicules. woy gud, woy gud ere bakacheu don’t make up stuff to validates your lack of communicating skills.
Nolawi would make a good husband because he vents and he feels good doing it. The argument should be lack of venting leading to divorce.
KKT,
I dont understand the part where u said it takes two to argue….I guess u r assuming that i am blaming only one side..probably the ladies….but that is not at all what I have in mind….:)
Also, I didnt make up stuff eko…i made it clear that this is my opinion…
Dinich, your last line is quotable: you should have known this is my opinion screamer
Pirate,
tx….min larg…KKT is telling me I lack communication skills and that is why I make up stuff…:)
Dinich– When one points one finger at you, she/he points four at self
Dinich, you are acting like a fish flopping out of the water. You know on 23 you wrote something and you think everyone will accept it and also you think we would not know you are speaking about the ladies.
Also if you don’t argue with another people then you are mentally sick if you argues by yourself.
pirate, you sounding very sad if you think you are so wise on your comment made on 40. wey gud sente aynete sew ale.
KKT,
Engide…I ll leave it to the readers here to decide on who lacks communication skills…:)
Many kind of people kkt. Just because you went through enough of them, unable to keep one does not mean all the kinds are used up. Keep hope alive
so i really dont get what the point is with this article’s image?? clouds?? did u see a talking cloud nolawi? lol how can ‘venting’ be cloudy?? or are u going for air-ventilation systems & clouds…bicha weird.
i ant beleive these people out there
and if u want my email address then u better email me back
i mean i cant believe…
Quaterly funny creature prize goes to… Blunt.
Honorable mention goes to–say what?–masinkomelody
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