I volunteered to write a column about my Abesha restaurant experience on Bernos after reading Nolawi’s very recent entry about Kitfo. I emailed Bernosoch and got myself nominated for the task. Even though I did not get the excitement and enthusiasm I expected from the Bernosoch, they nonetheless promised to publish my piece…I thank u!
I did not think I would be on the other side of the table in this restaurant. Bekka I just never saw myself as a waitress especially not in an Abesha restaurant. But the opportunity presented itself at the time I was so desperate for money. Of course my desire to work there was met with a strong resistance from my family due to the bias about Abesha restaurant waitresses.
I took the job anyways and I have a love and hate relationship with it. I have learned a great deal, I have truly enjoyed my time spent with my colleagues…and I witnessed the true definition of multitasking from the girl who works in the kitchen!
I generally try to observe how people carry themselves. I notice from the way X talks and Y walks to more subtle characters that are unique to each individual. Hence, my work gives me a chance to scrutinize people without being noticed. Here are the few observations about how most people (Abesha) carry themselves in Abesha restaurant. These are my personal observations and may not apply to everyone.
I hand the menus as soon as you take your seats and wait a couple of minutes until you are ready to give orders. But most of you don’t even bother to open it, you just sit and talk. After some time you will signal for me to take your order, and most likely you are not ready to order. I don’t know why you can not decide on what kind of Kitfo you want before you call me to take your orders.
It’s simple restaurant etiquette but yet most people tend to ignore it. I suspect that you inspect the menu in non-Abesha restaurants with so much energy and enthusiasm. It really ticks me off when you say with such assurance “derk Tibs!” or “gorde gorde” this or that kind of tibs ….I usually have to bite my lips from saying “ere medhanyalm Y’adrekeh! What makes you think we have derk Tibes?” …. how about you consult the menu for what kind of tibs we have.
The menu is both Abesha and fernji friendly and I assure you that you will be able to understand it. Unless you really know we serve what you want, how about you all take a moment to look if we serve your “gurde gurde”
And the menu also has the list of drinks we serve. Please don’t ask me for “Tela” or “tej.” I have heard that joke too many times that it has become a nuisance.
Almost all of you wash your hand before you eat. That is a great quality and I am sure it saves you from ingesting a lot of germs. But however, it is in your best interest if you wash your hands before the food arrives. Especially if you ordered “tere Kitfo” you can not afford to go to the restroom for 10 minutes to fix your hair. And please don’t call me and say “wey betam kezekez.” Clearly, it is gone get cold! I can heat it for you but don’t expect me to bring you another “tere Kitfo.” Heat cooks the meat in case you did not know … and thus becomes a bit more like “leb leb.”
If you find that our food is not to your standards please tell us so in clear manner (I am usually open to positive criticism). It’s pretty amazing how I get “tibsu gene yehone cheger alew.” I understand that the food is not as great as some people like and I can change it for you.
But I can not read your mind and clearly I can not just take back your order because it slightly falls behind your great aunts tibs. If you want me to change your order you better give me a good reason why I should do so. Just because it’s an Abesha restaurant does not mean you can eat and leave as you please.
Its business and it is that before anything else. Ha ha ha I even had a customer who asked me “tinish shiro ke guno argibet” I was so close to blurting out “Yene embet, this is not your mam’s Teklehaymanout Mahber” This is a restaurant and if you want something, I will add it to you tab “whether it is tenesh ke gonu” or not.
Every night I go home with good tip money and with lots of things to laugh about. I once asked my fernji colleague what she thinks about our Abesha clienteles. She said the very common thing most fernjis say “I am scared of their smile. It is so beautiful.” And she went on and added “you are all a polite bunch.” I agree with her. It has been a pleasure working in an Abesha restaurant and most of my customers are so kind and understanding.
My dear customers you are indeed a polite bunch!
Published by January 29th, 2009 in African and Food.
This is betam interesting read for me… I too am guilty of not looking at the menu…
Consult the menu! classic
“My dear customers you are indeed a polite bunch!” …are we really…I always thought working in an Habesha restaurant was a lot of hustle as it entailed dealing with rude people that take u for granted just because it was an habesha spot …not that I have any experience…So thank u for an eye opener…Does the restaurant u work @ serve alcohol? Maybe the rudeness surfaces after a couple of alcoholic consumption…
I must confess I do notice we abeshas usually have different norms when we enter an Habesha resturant. I do think people often treat it as thier relatives house. That is a plus and a minus.
The minus being, all the indecisive, inconsiderate, or sometimes rude behaviors as u discussed
The plus being, putting up with the bad service a waiter or the resturant in it self my present you with..
From personal exprience, I hardly eat out at habesha resturants (special occations) but when I do I feel obligated to leave a hefty tip even if I found the service to be dissatifactory or the waiter not even close to “wait” on me properly (no refils, no check ups, forgeting orders, confusing orders, etc).
So I will have to say it is a give and take situation. yes we often do not treat is as other resturants but on the flip side..we still leave a good tip regardless.
And what sup with the water? why does it taste really wierd every time I ask for a water?
Anyways, ITS ALL LOVE at the end I guess
Totit
yes, we do serve alcohol …And there is always one or two bad apples but majority 95% are polite…and my boss is also very protective he once made a client apologize to my colleague
Bez
Actually leaving a good tip gives the impression that you were happy with the service… I would say dont give more than 15% unless you were really satisfied with the service and your waitress was trying to serve you well.
I had a customer who left me ZERO tips and she even went to the kitchen (chef) and my boss to complain about me, the food and everything else. We all had a good laugh at her cause she must be having an awful day?
And the water tastes the same to me, however maybe it’s the aftertaste of the food that’s probably making it taste funny? Dunno but never heard that before
Wude,
“Actually leaving a good tip gives the impression that you were happy with the service… I would say dont give more than 15% unless you were really satisfied with the service and your waitress was trying to serve you well.”
lol thats why I said I feel Obligated. Although I am not happy about the service as an ethiopian I feel obligated to help my fellow countrymen/women make a living in my own little way. I think that outwieghs my little discomfort. I worked as a waiter part time while in college so I know how much that one tip makes a difference.
Im sorry to hear about your Zero tip. I had a family leave me a quarter before on a 60 dollar check, although I must admit I did not laugh about that lol (I followed the customers and told them they forgot their change and gave them the quarter. They told me to keep it, I said no thank you and put it in his pocket.
I bet you have a lot of “interesting” encounters but kudos to you for having the patience to put up with our “dynamic” personalities lol…I have no clue as to why the water tastes wierd to me lol
Bez, were u living in Harisburg @ the time?
i really want to share this story that has happened to me and my friend not too long ago … Dont get me wrong , i m not trying to prove anything , i just wanted to share the waiter/ress and customer experience i had from my side . So last Saturday me and ma friends went for the usual luncheon to this restaurant which is supposed to be nice and clean and you know all the good things … As we took our seats a couple paid their bill and left with out having single bite of the pizza they ordered and when we ask the waiter why they are leaving it untouched, he said “tetalitew new ” we placed the order … while we were eating we noticed , not only the food is cold it smells funny and we called the waiter and told him what we thought and made a joke about it sayin did you bring us what the previous couples left endea , it doesn’t look fresh , which he denied totally sayin … “endeaaa ere befitsum” … some of us couldn’t carry on eating it so we waited for the nxt target … and some of us struggled to finish what we started. As the other order came it looks so delicious and fresh and the fact became so clear that our suspicion was not baseless … to make that more interesting the bill came , it mismatches our order plus an extra order which doesn’t belong to us … i completely snapped and lost my anger … he tried to cheat , he gave us a food which could have made us sick… i told him to call his manager right away and he came straight towards me with out looking right and left and starts begging for our forgiveness, if not he would loss his job … my friends insisted i should leave it i still feel furious when i think about it altho we all should have done something while we still had the chance … give a lesson to him and the rest of his alias , laugn while we left
Wude besak gedelshign, especially @ “tibsu gene yehone cheger alew” and “tinish shiro ke guno argibet.” I have always been on the side of the waitress’. For some reason, I have a soft heart for them. Most of them have to deal with unwanted advances from Abesha men who think they are there to “SERVE” them. Its incredible to witness how an Abesha man acts in an Abesha restaurant vs. the way he acts in an non-Abesha establishment.
LOL @ ‘“Yene embet, this is not your mam’s Teklehaymanout Mahber”
I use to cook in a restaurant, you know, the usual American food… first job. Never ever mistreat a waiter or waitress, if you do, you dont know what u are eating.
very nice read,
“Its incredible to witness how an Abesha man acts in an Abesha restaurant vs. the way he acts in an non-Abesha establishment.”
but some of the waitresses serve the non Abeshas better than their own, I wonder why
munit that is true… i have noticed that white people get treated much better than their own counterpart…
i want equal treatment
really nice read..
a couple of things..
First, i not only hate when they mistreat waiters but when people clap and call them Maneh, yene Emebet.. This is what we brought KaGerachin Shay Bet
Secondly, i hate when the waiters deny the problem. Last time, we went to the usual Abesha restaurant and ordered DereQ Tibis and basically the Tibis had “Yehone Chigir”. It tasted like Ye Qoye Siga. We told the waiter/owner the problem. He came and ate big bite “Gursha” and he said there is nothing wrong with it.
Third, about menu, is it ok to ask for explanation as we do non-Abesha restaurants? And also, we usually go to Abesha restaurants to eat the usual Tibis, Kitifo, Quwanta Firfir... It is ok to ask if our addiction is available..
EP, uffa besak motku on the part about the waiter/owner who came and ate a big bite “gursha” ….weyneeee also shocking on so many levels.
Heh, funny. I am guilty of a few things n this article, including not reading the menu. But I do so very much love the fact that I don’t have to read the menu (as meticulously) … that’s why I like habesha restaurants!
) But then I do tip well, so hopefully they’ll bear with me …
FFT: So I always wonder about people who tell me they’re being treated this way or that way because they’re female, or black, or white, or whatever. Most of the time I have no sensible response to them. I’ve a friend who’s a chronic inter-racial couples watcher, another one into how minorities are treated (she’s not even black!), and I probably pay attention to things they don’t care about (actually i’m pretty sure I do coz they really look at me like i’m crazy too often). Anyway, we’ve discussed what our various ‘hobbies’ mean to our lives and personalities … like why are people watching how white folks are treated at the other table instead of eating their own food and talking to their friends? Why keep tabs?
p.s. lately i’ve started paying attention to how people interact with me vs. men at work. I don’t like it that i notice (and possibly make up) these things :-/
Ep
Yes, its ok to ask for explanations and such but its another thing not to bother with the menu at all…
Allyallracist
If u tip well mechs men yedergal we will serve u accordingly
Munit and Nolawi
Yes, I serve and treat abesha’s and non-habesha differently. But that does not mean I serve the non –habeshas better. discriminate against my own? Abseloutly not!
Funny Wude… it is so true. I worked in an ethiopian restaurant for a couple of months… that was all I could take… but I have worked in other restaurants and a lot of groups have their quirks too
I think people who are used to going to restaurants treat their servers better in general and know restaurant etiquette better
EthioJAZZ
“Abesha man acts in an Abesha restaurant vs. the way he acts in an non-Abesha establishment”…endew men largek bekka I could not say it better than this.
And on my first day.. the chef said “yene konjo ney esti yehn ezesh hiji” and I was touched by his kind words. Now no matter how rude the custemer is I just try to remeber what that sentence made me feel like… and I forget and fogive:)
Totit,
“Bez, were u living in Harisburg @ the time?”
@ what time? but I will have to answer “no” since I never been to Harisburg. Where is that at? (it took me a while to realize there are lots of people on here that blog.. who are out side the states lol)
haha very interesting, i thought complaint was from the customer side only. giin, isn’t derek/tinish geba yale/juicy tibs more of how you want your tibs done ? just like rare/medium/well done varieties of steak. betechemari, customers really have to beg to get their bills at the end of the meal. yih beNdih endale, yeIj astatabi biketer degmo, it gives another addition to the whole ethiopian experience. I mean its better than getting that experience from the tinBatam shint betts.
I think i just saw you(Nolawi) at SUNOCO gas station. I was gonna say hello but it was too cold, I didn’t wanna get out of my car.
Some Habesha women clientele treat Habesha waitress worst than the men. You see, the women think they are better than the waitress because she is working as waiter in a Habesha restaurant thus she is no good (typical Habesha mentality). However, they still think it is OK to work as waiter in a non-Habesha place…
annox, thats why i’m super nice when I go through that drive through…don’t want any special ‘sauces’ in my big mac lool
For those who want an excellent abesha restaurant experience, I will give an advice so fail proof I should be charging for it, alas my altruistic self compels me otherwise…
When going to an abesha restaurant always go there with people who are regulars. The service is night and day, as is the quality of the food. If you go there a novice, you are taking a chance, however try it with someone who is on a first name basis with the employees there….you will get first class treatment. This advice however doesn’t seem necessary in the D.C area, as i’m often surprised with the professionalism/quality in that area. Maybe it can be attributed to the competition due to a saturated market.
Hey BEZ…Well I might have mispelled it…it is harrisburg, PA…My bestfriend had the same experience as Urself…SHe waited hand and foot on a familly of 8…with food being returned…screaming kids…and all the shebang….and they left her a quarter…so she run to return their quarter telling them they might need it more than her…and they went to complain to the manager…and when the manager called her to talk to her …she just quit…SHe was so pissed off…so I thought u might be her…:)
#24 Totit, how is that possible when party of 6 or more is an automatic tip? Did your friend expect an additional 20%?
Author, you’re waiting tables for the money and since your income depends on our tip and we tip based on your service, you don’t need to worry about how we carry ourselves as much as you need to focus on making our time under your care pleasant and relaxing enough for us to tip.
Totit,
“I thought u might be her” lol..you had me really laughing out loud because I am actually A HE. I feel wierd having to clarify my gender lol, if it was in person I would be offended. Good thing its over the blog and I can understand lol..almost remind me of the time I refered to a lady as a “sir” over the phone..lets just say that conversation did not end well lol
I have worked at abesha restuarant (where we had less than 10% abesha customers). I’d say, without exaggeration, our service was one of the best! Even on the busy weekends, if customers waited longer than expected, we serve them appetizers on the house. We have mostly high end customers (due to the location…and higher than regular abesha restaurants’ price) who enjoy dinning out and share/blog their experiences. So far,more than 99% of the reviews have been positive…and I can tell you the less than 1% negative review had us (the servers)on the wrong side of the manager for weeks! So, good customer service has to start at the top.
). But I don’t understand what was funny about the customer who had to complain? You said ‘WE’…I hope the manager wasn’t laughing with you. We once had a customer who complained the chicken wasn’t as good as last week’s…she was given a gift certificate for two for her next visit. I was surprised when she called her friend right away and told her what had happened…if only we, as abesha, learned the importance of advertising through providing good service.
Wude, tnx for sharing your experience(but no tnx for sharing my name
Having been a waitress, I appreciate good tippers…and I tip more than customary when I dine out. But Bez, I don’t think u should tip careless servers as much as the good ones. It sends a wrong signal (that they can mistreat customers and still get good tips ): ) Whether at a restaurant or any other industry, I cannot tolerate unsatisfactory service…if I am paying, I expect good service!!! beqa!
Treating others better than abesha? nooooo wayyy! I only had that experience long time ago at Addis’ Wabishebele…and when the waitress decided to attend to us after she was done serving a white man who came way after we did, I asked her to call the manager instead….and asked for another waitress. And yea,I tipped the waiter 50% just BECAUSE!
Addiseye ene baweke mene asedebekegne belehal…dunno how th tip works and told a story that happened a few years back…
BEZ…tefatu kenewe newe….betam yekereta…had no idea u were a HE….
Mikematic
Hahaha menew layoff tadergek ende? Ena is this ur way of creating jobs? Err tenesh realistic enhun.
Addis,
Turns out people mostly tip not based on our service but their mood and habit…and relax I am just stating an observation.
Wudnesh,
Sorry I took your name…but I promise I will not promote myself to your position and become “Wudnesh”. But the customer I mentioned who complained about me and everything in the restaurant was clearly having a bad day. Her complaint got to a point where no one could take her seriously. And I knew the man she was with and he could not even look at me in the eye cause he was so embarrassed. Keza I think she realized she was making a big scene and apologized to me. Keza gene she went back to complaining… so yes, my boss did not take her seriously just brushed her off. Enough is enough! Offffffffffffffff endet des endalgne and I have not seen the guy she was with after that incident, he probably locked himself in his lab indefinelty…
Wudnesh, maan this is confusing-i still like calling you Wud….Wude, benatish change your name, it’s too confusing…Wudnesh has been using it for a while.
Wude,
Very nice read…it is good to hear the waitress perspective
Munit & Nolaw
I very much agree with you…I have always felt that non-Habeshas are treated better in restaurants and other Habesha establishments. WHY?? The psychology behind this mentality might be worth exploring in another post.
Even in Ethiopia, where you would think we shouldn’t be discriminated, people treat the non-habeshas much nicer than their own. A friend of mine went to visit her family with her Ferenjie husband, even he noticed that the treatment towards him was much better than his wife and her family.
Even in Ethiopia there is White privilege…sad
Totit, its okay no hard feelings lol, if it makes you feel better I have no idea in regards to your gender either lol..I cant even guess one way or another so I understand.
This will be a very funny conversation if we were having itin person lol
“I cant even guess one way or another so I understand.”
Bez,i am sure an ethiopian can GUESS that totit is a SHE name.what is so difficult about guessing this???
Wurgatu, I see u want to play captian save-a-blogger.
but 1) I did not know if totit is name, acronyum or just handle (like people use as an alias to blog). I thought it was TOT It..sumtin like that
2) Even if it is an ethiopian word, my extremly amercanized and limited Amharic vocab did not allow me to make the deduction on what gender this name represents. I still do not know what it means and how it is obvious that it is a “she” name.
It was just a minor miscommunication, I aint think it was that serious and im sure totit will agree!!
hey bez,u ar right! i should have said an ethiopian who lived many years of his childhood time in ethiopia…..and i know that one can still never be sure about a HE or SHE thing…it is just guessing and therefore i also agree that this thing is not that serious…
LOL to “captian save-a-blogger.” betam asakegn!
Wude; you have mapped out the abesha psyche so amazingly I still get a kick out of that!! Beautiful analysis,anchi!! Well let me share my two ChilFa’s worth on this issue. Since When did shiro become a sidekick? That is a shameful culinary-below-the- MeKeneT-kick on my shiro!! Shiro ain’t nobody’s Gravy!! This needs a collective effert by all abeshas out there in restoring our shiro’s dignity back from the periphery of abesha gebeta to its rightful place at the center on par with the likes of kitfo and dorro!! So the so called abesha customer who kicked shiro weDe GoN; should apologise!! we demand apology… infact a Notarised one!!
Peace!! ZoBel
“ere medhanyalm Y’adrekeh!” LOL, My MOM you used to say that to me.