the classic argument 50 Comments

Men are fools, everyone knows that. Even the fool knows he is the fool when he is doing what his mind tells him not to but his heart prevails.

Persistence pays in some cases, but every now and then men are fooled into thinking that a woman  not interested will change her mind if he keeps hanging around her and even doing things for her.

Some women take advantage of this situation by keeping a guy that likes them around.

In some cases a woman might make it clear that she is not interested, in other cases she just tells him she needs time or that she is confused, when she wants to keep her options open.

The fool is the guy who sticks around hoping she will change her mind. Eventually the guy will give up and leave her alone or  they remain platonic friends. In other instances the guy persists with his initial plan after she makes an emotional platonic connection with him.

At this time the girl can’t just turn down the guy, she has to give him a reason.

This is what I call the ‘classic argument;’ she can’t say I wouldn’t touch you with a ten foot pole. She can’t say I am seeing someone, he already knows she is not seeing someone; she can’t say we have to get to know each other first, they are already friends.

Hence, the ‘classic argument;

I am not ready to give 100% therefore it’s not a good idea and it wouldn’t be fair to you or I am not sure about this.”

Disclaimer: This is not based on any recent experience. This is not about me. I am not a fool!

50 Responses to “the classic argument”


  1. 1 Sarah

    Is everything about sex for guys reallyyyyyyy

  2. 2 Sarah

    Is everything about sex for man reallyyyyyyy

  3. 3 Tsedey

    nolawi, ur disclaimer is more interesting:

    you said in the begining
    “men are fool”
    [you] are a man
    therefore you are fool

    so for your disclaimer to be true, either u are not a man or you are a fool. sorry to split hair:)

  4. 4 ep

    My friend once told me “A woman may love you from the bottom of her heart but there is still another place at the top” .. if the saying is relevant here though…

    Don’t be fool bro..!!! lol :)

  5. 5 Bez

    To whomever making this “classic argument” and believe it, all i can say is, niggaaa pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

    Disclaimer: This is not based on any recent experience. This is not about me. I am not a fool!

  6. 6 biskut

    Nolawi
    I am impressed that you know there is such an argument.
    I love being loved so I have used this ARGUMENT many times .My reasoning behind it was “I did not make him like me ,He is a FOOL for thinking that I will love him back but who am I to say don’t love me …all along enjoying the attention.That was then though .

    Tsedey
    You reminded me of philosophy 101.

  7. 7 Alazhar

    Nolawi hope you’re talking about yourself!

  8. 8 solo

    I am guilty of this 2 when I was younger. I havelearned to make it super clear right away after I learned my lesson. I am currently engaged to me married. But I have to say karma is a bitch.

    Been there

  9. 9 Totit

    I would rather say…” I would hate to jeopordize our friendship…U know there is always a chance it might not work…SO why spoil something so important to us…Our friendship”…

  10. 10 Wurgatu

    totit my dear, u must be kidding…ehh??? screw this “our friendship” thing…it might also work eko?…why do u fear or refuse to see that part of the coin….demo that friendship thing is already jeopardized….
    mehareben yayachihu??…alayenim bakachihu….ayinet chewata newu yihe….lol

  11. 11 Visiter

    nol

    so what is wrong with this. i actually like it. i have used it myself a few times, although i said it at the begining, when i am being asked, that is. i don’t like the idea of tormenting a guy for the sake of getting attention, or favers. although i have lost some good guys, some have remained to be my bff. because believe me when i hang around my guy friends i know who i can be with, and i think this may be true for some women too.

  12. 12 Dinich

    Women are addicted to attention….

    Anyone willing to admit it?

  13. 13 Nolawi

    lol dinich…

    betam besaq motku

    Alazahr
    what do u mean?

    Years ago been in this situation but i made it clear i was interested right away – and when i heard the argument i cut the relationship off quickly..

    Since then i have never been in a sitatuation similar.. I just go out with girls that make it clear they are interested…

  14. 14 luli

    ummm Dinich, I would have thought it was more of a human thing than women vs men no? Who wouldn’t love attention?

  15. 15 hewe

    okay as someone would say (SBS) Sak Be Sakkk-

    Disclaimer: This is not based on any recent experience. This is not about me. I am not a fool!

  16. 16 Dinich

    Luli,

    ha ha….Thanks for admitting….:)

  17. 17 luli

    lol Dinich, didn’t see that coming … shewedkegn malet new?? i still believe its a vice of both sexes …

  18. 18 wudnesh

    Errr, I don’t really believe Nol’s story that it was years ago….heheheh, but that’s another story…

    Well, it could be as you said, to keep options open. I always say to my girl friends who are not in committed relationships ‘don’t be a fool! keep him on the side…if it works with the other one, good! if not, there’s always this one!’ If men do it, why not women?

    One of the big reasons he’s not committing himself after years of dating is that he wants to check others out..isn’t it? So, he gets his own medicine! And as the qomata is believed to have said ‘dirro yalAsqemeTshiw, qomaTas bihon ahun yet yigegnal?’…so, yep, keep him on the side!
    Personally, I have a strict principle of not dating friends…Not only do I not want to ruin our friendship, but I feel we’ve walked/shared too many paths together to make it as lovers. You knowww, the things you only tell your friends…;)
    But I think what u called classic argument is kinda fair – at least sensitive to the other person’s feelings. Don’t u hate ‘err, it’s nothing about you..it’s me’?

  19. 19 Nolawi

    oh sharrup wude. you date your best friends….

    its like that eko – just say something claiming i have done something when i clearly said this is not based on my experience…

    you guys are annoying me…

  20. 20 hewe

    Daaamn wud, yemeyasdeneget analogy besak gedelshegn….komata laterakem 4 rainy day beka;)

  21. 21 Ethio Jazz

    Nolawi, you asked for it when you added that disclaimer. LOL. So, what if you went through it? I’d be the first to admit, “been there, done that” but I hope the lesson I got from it surely out weighs the action.

    Wude that was some insightful advice you gave us. But having lots of guys/girls on the side creates havoc, confusion and unnecessary risks. i say the best thing to do it close one chapter before opening a new one.

    Hewe–don’t look any further you got a komata right here :p

  22. 22 Nolawi

    the disclaimer was so that no insinuation like that are not made….

  23. 23 tpeace

    hehehe why u so defensive?

  24. 24 Sarah

    A lady should always have a back up dude around, never know what could happen………keep one floating around.

  25. 25 Tsedey

    OMG Sarah, that’s so sick. You are objectifying men. I say make your intentions clear from the get go. No grey area between friends and dating them at times- that’s so disgusting. I can’t imagine dating my guy friend- totally unacceptable.

    No need “to float anyone around” it should be okay to be alone sometimes.

    sorry if i sound harsh :)

  26. 26 Nolawi

    wow sarah- I hope i or anyone i know ever falls for u

  27. 27 Hidaya

    What about this argument…

    if you hear this:

    I am not ready to give 100% therefore it’s not a good idea and it wouldn’t be fair to you or I am not sure about this.”

    and you’re certain it means this;

    This is what I call the ‘classic argument;’ she can’t say I wouldn’t touch you with a ten foot pole. She can’t say I am seeing someone, he already knows she is not seeing someone; she can’t say we have to get to know each other first, they are already friends.

    read between the lines time, then take your leave….since when are men fools to this exactly?…men have been doing this stuff since the world began..having their cake and eat it too it is not a woman thing exclusively it was probably invented by men…

  28. 28 Bez

    How bout this argument?

    “Get away you creap, the restraining order says you have to be 100 feet away from me. Im calling the cops on you Bez!!”

    Oh I love it when play hard to get.

  29. 29 Sarah

    Tesdey bullcrab who you kidding………..

  30. 30 wudnesh

    Nol, ok okk…we just enjoy annoying you, that’s all.
    Jazzi, lol…I hope Hewisha got the message.

    As for closing one chapter before opening another one, yep, that’s the best. But when the man is making it hard for the woman to decide whether to close the present chapter or not, lukewarm state, that’s the time to get ready. By the way, this usually initiates an action from the man. Not necessarily because he suspects she’s seeing another person, but the fact that she doesn’t give him as much attention as she used to (another person is taking her attention now), makes him fight for attention. After all,men are ‘hunters’ by nature and don’t like it when there’s nothing to work for…..Guys, what do u say to this?
    Soooo, unless the attraction is below zero, I say forget the classic argument….keep him on the side!
    Sarah,(29) tnx…indegena niGeriat….ya ya ya! What is disgusting about keeping a back-up? I think ur own thoughts are disgusting you, hehe. No one is talking about getting involved physically here…having a back up means simply getting to know other guys too…keep talking to them, meet for coffee, lunch minamin sometimes. So, get ur mind out of the gutter! ;)

  31. 31 Tsedey

    ummmm let’s put it this way…

    as there are pple who like to use other ppple, there are pple who don’t like to use other pple. simple.

  32. 32 Wurgatu

    sarah, ar u a HE or a SHE???
    if u really are a SHE…marry me plzzzzz!!!

  33. 33 hewe

    Jazyyyeyeye whats up dude!!….you’re not a komata material, you’re like a good husband material:) Wud, I’m gonna follow your advice w/ non habesha people -like Ato Cali;) I KID, I KID!!

  34. 34 tpeace

    a different classic argument: :) for kicks and giggles?

    things get smoldering whooot when– someone gets emotionally attached, they’ve been intimate…some time has passed- good bunch of months.

    “oh but u know i set the record straight right at the very beginning…i set no expectations, said i’m not looking for commitment or anything long term…dunno why things escalated and got stuck in this situation..”

  35. 35 Doro Mata

    I admit I don’t mind the attention or using ‘some’ people.

    but my classic argument is “I don’t like sex, I may be lesbian. I feel the need to experiment before I start anything serious with anyone.”

    to some degree, it’s true. So i don’t feel very guilty.

  36. 36 mister_mayhem

    doro… you don’t like sex ? or is that your way of letting down a guy when you don’t have sexual chemistry with someone. experimenting is good. good for you.

  37. 37 Ato Californicator

    Mister M.

    I hear a lot about “… experimenting this and that…’ in several of the postings. What I wanna talk/hear more about is, what is experimenting and trying out new things, in a Habesha sense! I wanna hear a whole lot from you experimenters, because I got a whole lot to say… stay tuned :)

  38. 38 mister_mayhem

    experimenters move in silence

  39. 39 datdude

    i’m proud to say i’m not a fool, i will “cut and run” if i don’t get the answer i want, i don’t even settle for statistical possibilities…thats what I do, make the tough choices….incidentally there were two chiquitas who initially gave me the classic argument, i moved on, then months later both of them were ready to go jerry springer over me…the experience was overwhelming loooooool

  40. 40 hewe

    datdude, “that’s what I do, make the tough choices” sounded like Bush’s final address….”I had to make tough choices”. So how did that feel-having the 2 bananas (chiquitas reminded me of that) go jerry springer???:)

  41. 41 Hidaya

    *incidentally there were two chiquitas who initially gave me the classic argument, i moved on, then months later both of them were ready to go jerry springer over me…the experience was overwhelming loooooool*

    Datdude interesting imagery you’ve been Jerry Springer-ed eh?…this is what I am seeing,… datdude on a stage sitting down,with chiquita No1 on the left side of him standing in attack position with a chair as a weapon,… on the right side stands chiquita No 2 in attack position with an axe as a weapon, it is not certain if the two chiquitas want datdude head on a plate or their owns or even one of the chair legs if worse come to worse and axe has bodily contact with chair…aye,.. that isnt what the imagery you described though is it datdudey mate? lol…sorry couldnt resist it again, I is bad lol, I’ve got a bout of the giggles now lol….

  42. 42 Anonx

    Dadude, ok, two observations, the second should be a question:

    The two are sisters, as in sibling, if not very close friends. They would have to know one another to go JS. And second, which of the two got lucky, or if you know what I mean, was that the real reason they went JS on you? Given such an opportunity what man would not atleast entertain sowing his seed on one after the other? :)

  43. 43 Ethio Jazz

    Hewe, I just saw your comment (33)–thanks for the vote of confidance…all is well on my side—I hope you didn’t party too hard this weekend :p. sbs at Bez that was really funny. I should try that one of these days.

  44. 44 wudnesh

    Hewisha…Lol, SBS.
    Datdude, and the end?

  45. 45 datdude

    annox,
    thanks once again for steering us towards the salient points of the matter, unfortunately no they were not sisters….although they sorta where “sistahs” as in one was brazilian/north african and the other a gal from de islands. And no there wasn’t hair pulling, name calling and chair throwing. looool

    to those who want to know how it ended (cos it did):

    things came to a head early spring, when as I was leaving chapel from noon prayers (cos I needed my soul saved) both of them intercepted me. You shoulda seen your boy, both apparently had decided take me out on my “lets do lunch” thing, and knowing my daily schedule (i’m always free between 11:30–1:30) they were there waiting, a the same time. I almost ran back into the church, but I knew they didn’t offer sanctuary from women, only the KGB and Stalin.

    Hidaya remember the suspension of immutable laws I mentioned somewhere? here is its manifestation:

    considering I really enjoyed spending time with each gal, spending the time with BOTH gals should theoretically suggest double the fun right? :) Well, throw out your math books, cos 1 + 1 equaled negative fun. It was a really unpleasant lunch.

    We finished lunch, and I made my quick get away, citing a busy schedule, vowing to myself to end this that day. So I did the manly thing, I called up one chiquita that night and explained I wasn’t ready for a relationship, and said as much to the other that evening at her crib. It didn’t end everything, but at least it brought me time :)

  46. 46 anonx

    Ok dadude I be on your side now and leave the translation to the ladies but be ready when asked… If not ready for relationship what were you ready for then not only during the first initiative but during the second time. Revenge is sweet aint it?

  47. 47 datdude

    anonx, many of the decisions I make in life are based on strict illogical methods.

  48. 48 flady

    A lady should always have a back up dude around, never know what could happen………keep one floating around.

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