Elevator Good! 55 Comments

There is a phrase in marketing that starts ‘elevator.’ The phrase “elevator pitch” reflects the fact that a product overview can be delivered in the time span of a thirty second elevator ride.

Every marketer should have their 100 word pitch of their company or and or product if they are going to be successful pitching their ideas in the high stake world of business.

I wrote about this 2 years ago when we were starting bernos. Although most business owners do not know the term they have their own way of doing it.

There are sales pitches, corporate pitches, and a pick up lines; different length different goals but same purpose.

I am not much off a resolution maker, I have mentioned before. But I for one think something that starts good ends well or at least goes agreeably.

I am really busy these days; it hasn’t been this busy in my life since October. Sometimes busy is good because you don’t worry about things too much. You don’t question stuff because you don’t have time.

One of my friends who I don’t see or talk too much said to me that she was “sufficiently occupied,” when I asked how things are.

I loved the way she described it, that I remembered while I am writing this.

Meaning she doesn’t have time to think about where her life is going. She is doing stuff, works, socializes, does her laundry and pays her bills; I assume.

I was in the elevator this morning and the conversation was the coming Obama inauguration. Usually it’s the weather so I thought that was interesting. I think most of the conversation in elevators for people who do not know each other is the climate.

Is it cold or what? It’s rainy! What a nice day it is. I forgot the umbrella! I don’t like the snow much.

I do it too, although now that I am thinking about it, it’s kind of stupid and predictable.

I live in a building that doesn’t need an elevator and till recently worked in a building where I used the stairs thus I had forgotten these random wereA’s with people I barely know.

I am one of those that is so impatient that I count the seconds it takes to get from the lobby to my destination floor. My mom’s apartment although it’s on the third floor the elevator takes 24 seconds to go from closing to opening.

One thousand one, one thousand two,…  and so on.

I have done it a hundred times. But never when I am with other people, those times I just talk about the weather or just look up blinking light that indicates the status of this trip we take with random people.

Ding, I’m here!

55 Responses to “Elevator Good!”

  1. 1 Delala

    I always make fun of the person who gets off in an earlier floor to the people left…somehow it always gets a smile (sometimes a nervous smile).

  2. 2 mister_mayhem

    you think it’s bad in the states.. come to Canada. all we talk about is the weather. it’s our national obsession after hockey.

    but you know what i’ve decided. that i’m not comfortable with having random bull sh!t conversaions with people. especially in social situations. why all the small talk ? how about some poignant questions… like “what’s that scar on the side of your face. how did that happen ? ” etc.

  3. 3 Nolawi

    i always enter the elevator before the rest of the people have come out.. am i rude or what

  4. 4 eriwoman

    now that you mentioned it , yes very rude

  5. 5 Bed_ford

    I work in a building with 4 floors. Some people take the elevator from the first level to the second floor. I wanted to say can’t you just take the stairs – just a few steps – it good exercises.

  6. 6 What?

    Ok, what else is there to say? Or talk about, other than nothing?

    Elevator, 30 seconds, pitching, etc.

    I guess it is that way these days with Nolawi

  7. 7 mister_mayhem

    nolawi – what’s the rush ? i really dislike when people do that. it’s like chill. we all in this together now

  8. 8 Se-Woch

    yes, kind of rude. I hope you at least let any ladies with you go in/out of the elevator first. Women’s lib be damned, that’s a total pet peeve

  9. 9 tpeace

    elevator make-outs anyone? lol

    phew…ok seriously need to stop procastinating

  10. 10 Nolawi

    Hey why do i have more haters these days…

    They dont even have a constant nick they just use What, SOWhat yemil..

    Also i am receiving emails from random people – saying i read your blog.. keep it up minamin.. these days though the negative comments are more than the positive notes…

    we do get a lot of postive notes about bernos in general.. saying nice tees .. keep it up from fans and customers though…

    but the ones i get personally are negative…

    I will rephrase
    Nolawi you suck…

    not that bad and not that straight forward.. but that

    And so i am kinda annoyed by some of my readers… but i like them because they keep reading….

  11. 11 Dinich

    Let me tell my awkward elevetor story.

    I like kids and everywhere i see them I try to talk to them minamin…..

    One day I was visiting a friend and got into the elevator of his apartment building….this little cute girl came in and she definitely looked like a 7-8 years old….I stooped and got closer to her face and I said…”hi sweetie” only to discover that this is actually a baby face adult…..she was frightened….I jumped back and apologized…..

  12. 12 Guadegna

    Dinich………:) lol that was too funny, thought you were gonna say the mom or dad slapped me. thanks for the smile

  13. 13 luli

    hahahahaaa oh MY GOD Dinich!! that was hilarious … this has to be the second most embarassing story i ever heard (first one being my dad asking this woman how many months pregnant she was when it was really just plain ole ‘borch’) oh GOD! that was too funny …

  14. 14 Nolawi

    luli i think u find everything funny… both these things are not that funny to me…

    dinich- thank god u are in canada… in the US if a random black guy said hello sweetie to a random little white girl… they will definitely find it offensive..

    There are places – not in dc but there are where old white woman hold their purses tight if they are in the elevator with a black guy!

  15. 15 wudnesh

    Children in the elev are good ice breaker. You say ‘hi’(more like ‘hiiiiiii’)and they say hi back….or in the event they didn’t, the mom or dad says ‘say HI sweetie’..then goes the ‘how old r u?’ and stuff…before u know it (with no need to stare at/through the numbers…or hold in ur breath), u have arrived!
    Has anyone been in an elev with someone who smells bad? oof, my worst exp – in a public library elevator. ooof! To make it worse, they have the slowest elevator i’ve been on.
    -Delala, what exactly do u say to them?
    -Bed, who said I need the exercise? If the thoughtful elevator installers felt the same, they would not have let it stop on the first floor. :P
    -mister, am with you on this. yet lemedres neww? I’d give Nol an ‘EXXkuzzme!’ if i were one of those coming out of the elev.

  16. 16 Tsedey

    u know what annoys me, when people press the button multiple times while it is already pressed and u see the light on.

  17. 17 Se-Woch

    Haha. Sorry man. I thought I was answering a question not being negative. Definately not a hater. Really like your notes and am a proud owner of a bunch of your tshirts.

  18. 18 Nolawi

    ^ i was not talking about u!

  19. 19 Hidaya

    Here in lifts, in the trains too we avoid eye contact either by looking at your feet or the ceiling as the lift moves u and down,alternatively you could cover your entire face with the day’s newspaper…it is only when you get stuck in it that people then talk about the weather or the middle east burning yet again or their marriages breaking up, but that is only when it gets stuck, when it moves, No…

  20. 20 Dinich


    In canada too ppl find it offensive. Even myself I dont want no stranger adult talking to my kids, especially when they r not with me…..Beteley White dudes 30-60 scare the hell out of me….but a lot of the older italians in my neighborhood are more into talking to random kids saying how cute minamin and they kinda set the norm….I have run into some gilmiCHa minamin from parents when I do that….

  21. 21 Nolawi

    interesting the brits call lifts

  22. 22 Mestika

    growing up back in Addis, we lived in a builing by abyot adebabay what ever they call it now and we used to get on the elevs everytime someone uses them. We just take a ride with who ever is on it. But one day as crowded as we were in there it got stuck half way and it was the nightmare of my life. Since then i have that fear of elevs and i barely use any of those suckers. I dont even want to have a conversation while the elev is moving, i can hardly breath:-) Good exercise is right Bed_Ford

  23. 23 Nifas

    the elevator door @ my job closes so fast i am scared mine or someone else’s arm is gonna get caught one of these days trying to stop it from closing on us.
    On elevator rides I just read or act like i am reading the news or watching the commercials on that little tv thing they have, i am not good w.small talks.

  24. 24 Mikematic

    i hate small talks. they sound so fake…

  25. 25 tpeace

    this mornings’ elevator event

    two tall attractive african american males are going out of the elevator as I rush in thinking there’s no one else. it’s not even 9am so there’s no earthly reason i should be this flurry of energy to get into a quaint little office.
    ahem. especially given the audience…!

    so …i pause- or halt, depending on who was looking to say “ohh so sorry! please go ahead…”
    one of them men looks at me and pitches a know-it-all declaration “this elevator is going down.”

    i stand aside dutifully.
    thinking.. klutzy! shlutzy! smutzy!…until i see the light on the elevator. *ding*

    “It Is going up!” my smug self announces

    and just as soon as the elevator door closes behind the middle aged white woman and i, the lady starts her hissy fit: “ha! what does he think? that he can control the gelavator with his mind?”

    i say “…maybe they thought since they came down on the elevator that it’s going down?” nonsensical logic for sure!
    she responds- “Or maybe It’s cause they’re men!!”

    and there it goes… a serendipitous episode of two strangers sharing a male-bashing moment.

    “lol…could be that too! you have a great day!”
    and off i get from the elevator.

  26. 26 Nolawi

    ahahah ahahha hahahha

    besaQ motkugn!

  27. 27 Abraham

    A real crack up – must read to the bottom.

    For anyone who hasn’t already seen David Letterman’s take on this: This is a True Story…

    On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots for dinner with her husband in the hotel dining room.

    But first she wanted to stash the quarters in her room. “I’ll be right back and we’ll go to eat,” she told her husband and she carried the coin-laden bucket to the elevator. As she was about to walk into the elevator she noticed two men already aboard. Both were black. One of them was big..very big… an intimidating figure. The woman froze. Her first thought was: These two are going to rob me.

    Her next thought was: Don’t be a bigot; they look like perfectly nice gentlemen. But racial stereotypes are powerful, and fear immobilized her. She stood and stared at the two men. She felt anxious, flustered and ashamed. She hoped they didn’t read her mind . Surely they knew her hesitation about joining them the elevator was all too obvious. Her face was flushed. She couldn’t just stand there, so with a mighty effort of will she picked up one foot and stepped forward and followed with the other foot and was on the elevator.

    Avoiding eye contact, she turned around stiffly and faced the elevator doors as they closed. A second passed, and then another second, and then another. Her fear increased! The elevator didn’t move. Panic consumed her. My God, she thought, I’m trapped and about to be robbed! Her heart plummeted. Perspiration poured from every pore.

    Then … One of the men said, “Hit the floor.

    Instinct told her: Do what they tell you. The bucket of quarters flew upwards as she threw out her arms and collapsed on the elevator carpet. A shower of coins rained down on her. Take my money and spare me, she prayed. More seconds passed. She heard one of the men say politely,

    “Ma’am, if you’ll just tell us what floor you’re going to, we’ll push the button.” The one who said it had a little trouble getting the words out. He was trying mightily to hold in a belly laugh. She lifted her head and looked up at the two men. They reached down to help her up.

    Confused, she struggled to her feet. “When I told my man here to hit the floor,” said the average sized one, “I meant that he should hit the elevator button for our floor. I didn’t mean for you to hit the floor, ma’am.” He spoke genially. He bit his lip. It was obvious he was having a hard time not laughing.

    She thought: My God, what a spectacle I’ve made of myself.

    She was too humiliated to speak. She wanted to blurt out an apology, but words failed her. How do you apologize to two perfectly respectable gentlemen for behaving as though they were going to rob you?

    She didn’t know what to say. The 3 of them gathered up the hundred dollar bill.

    The card said: “Thanks for the best laugh we’ve had in years.”

    It was signed,

    Eddie Murphy & Michael Jordan

  28. 28 Mestika

    Abraham, I kind of predicted that, still tooo funny:)

  29. 29 Ethio Jazz

    This was one of the most embarrassing moments in my life…a lot of the ladies I know will hate me for this but its a hilarious event in my life that made me a better man…I hope ;)

    My first professional job…maybe a year into it, I meet the head of the Human Resource department in the elevator..the elevator was quite full but that didn’t keep us from exchanging pleasantries. When the elevator reached the third floor all of the people in it exited leaving the director and myself the lone occupants. I had notice a belly bump on her and decided to strike up a conversation–I know, I should have known better:
    Me: So, “Donna” are you expecting?
    Her: Nooo,
    Me: I didn’t know you had a baby recently?
    Her: Well that’s because the last time I did was 14 years ago. (with a smile)
    Me: I’m really sorry!
    Her: No worries

    me thinking at this point—min ale yeElevateru shaft tekefto beweTegn—afen beqoreTew. I’m so fu**ing stupid!!! Stupid!!! Here I am thinking she pregnant and I have a belly that looks I’m 9 months preganant. With TWINS! Fu** me!

  30. 30 Dinich


    Take it this way: U give her the truth with no sugar coating. She needs it.

  31. 31 Anonx

    LMAO at EJ

    I’ll tell you though, you’re better than this guy. Can you imagine seeing a jam packed elevator open and steal a peak to see there is no standing room left and still ask ‘is it full?’ Wasn’t me. But it has become a greeting amoungst these present that day. Instead of hi, it’s ‘is it full?”

  32. 32 wudnesh

    Dini!!!!?? mAtsnanatih neww? mts.
    Jazzi..yep, minale! …..aha, minale afHin beqoretew! :P

  33. 33 Dinich


    lol not really….But I really see it as the best way to motivate the lady to go out and do something about it….

    It would be nice if some friend could get up and say to her….”Look at you. You r so fat u look like a pregnant woman….Go do something about it…”

    EJ embarrassed himself but delivered the message….:)

  34. 34 Ethio Jazz

    LOL @ Wude, Dini and Anox–

    Ay Dinich–why is it you rarely give me a constructive criticism? You’re letting me get away with this. BTW, the message was not recieved because I saw “Donna” on the metro a few years later and lets just say she had let things go:)

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