Lack of Meaning 159 Comments

The past couple of years, I felt like I was on a roller coaster because of my doing.

I was in between jobs a few times, and in-between different personal projects that I didn’t have time to think and smell the air.

Well, it’s been a little slow since October, about a month now I have been coming home after work. I continue to read, mostly about art, cooking and design. I watch TV, a lot of TV, I eat and sleep; but mostly I have been thinking.

What Now?

Yes, I have problems; I have certain things that I have to take care of. I will have to gain the confidence, courage and energy to deal with some of these small things, and then I am done.

I don’t want to put too much undue stress in my life as too make a big commitment financially that I will have to think about it much. Yes, I want that big 60 inch LCD plasma TV, but I can live with a 42 incher.

I want a ‘Vibration Reduction Automatic Focus Long Telephoto‘ lens from Nikon but I probably should think more about investing money more than these expensive goodies.

Yes, I have been talking to a few girls, but they are a mess, I don’t want to waste too much energy pursuing for the sake of that big change a man my age has to make.

I haven’t been in the fast lane, although I have been on the highway. I am not depressed or sad, I am happy that I don’t have to hide the lack of meaning in life by going out and boozing every weekend.

But I am not completely content, there is something missing; I can feel it; no amount of busyness nor creativity and adventure is going to obscure it.

159 Responses to “Lack of Meaning”

  1. 1 Wurgatu

    u made me remember bewuketu siyum’s poem
    yesilitane mezmur is the title and it says….
    ….liben irkata yelesh
    hiywetenm tim adirgat…..
    i haven’t met a man who is fully satisfied and content by what he already has….we want more…that is why we lack meaning in life and at the same time that is why we live. I THINK!!

  2. 2 Dinich

    Nol, I know what you need…A beautiful wifey and a couple of cute kids…..People will tell you go to the gym, get a hobby minamin…that just won’t cut it…

  3. 3 WUDNESH

    Nol, You need Jesus! ;)
    Kemirr geen, do u ever pray? try it….no harm in trying. Maybe that’s what u r missing – faith. You can get all the girls u want (or at least u say…uhu uhu), u have good family and friends, u have a good job….okk, so, physical, emotional, and financial well being are taken care of… about spiritual?

  4. 4 abyssinia

    Nolawi, I know you are not into magbat minamin but life is meaningless when you have no one to share it with…having family and friends is not the same as having a life partner.

    I agree with Wudnesh! Spiritual well-being is an integral part of mental, emotional and physical health.

  5. 5 anonx

    You’ve got some meaning as it is bro. This site and ur business not an easy task is a statement to your meaning. Keep it up and remember over tight success takes 15 years…. And take a vacation

  6. 6 selam

    Don’t get married or have babies, what u need is exercise. Start running!!! or try Wudnesh’s advice, ain’t gonna hurt. Dinich is obsesed with marriage and babies so don’t listen to

  7. 7 Dinich

    Selam….lol….it is not her…it is him….and my comment was more of a tease than a real comment.

  8. 8 masinkomelody

    I think meaning comes from being of service to others – being part of something that can effect a positive change in society, in a community, in someone’s life. You’ve got creative skills…go out and volunteer that extra time you have by sharing your skills and creating meaning in others lives and thereby finding meaning in that. Sharing is such a wonderful inexpensive gift we are all naturally equipped with, yet do little of.

    Who knows…you might end up being next year’s CNN Hero!

  9. 9 story

    I disagree with u guys marriage will not bring meaning to his life it would only confuse him more. Im not married but if i was definetly i would question if there are other better men out there than who i married.
    I was in the same boat as him. I didn’t want to be excited about any materials or successes in school or relationships becasue i knew it couldn’t fill the void. By chance on a visit to Addis last year decided to see
    other parts and went to the north. I went to simen mountain i had to since im obssessed with nature and it was always my dream to see it. I stood in front of the mountain and it spoke to me. It said to me life is precious and is is meaningful on its own. The notion that somehow having only money, materials, marriage, kids etc etc etc will bring meaning is WRONG because they are part of life and not the meaning of life. I am happy for you guys who think marriage will bring meaning if it did for you great congrats but for me it will not bring meaning. Man i will not forget that place it is where i found the meaning of life. Nolawi i recommend it for you..

  10. 10 chuni

    I am with masinkomelody and wudnesh. My mother always says “your life isn’t just yours”…You’ve achieved a lot in your life so far so obviously the meaning doesn’t lie in material things. I think doing some sort of service to the community would make you feel better. share your love. And like wudnesh said, pray or read the bible/quran. these books are the best self-help books out there. They will help you reflect and find happyness in the little things i think….*it works for me*

  11. 11 spacefog

    A group of people were asked the key to the meaning of life . Here is what they came up with

    -Get Married
    -Take a vacation
    -Go to the Semein Mountains
    And my personal favorite

  12. 12 mene albat

    well, I certainly feel the same way. unlike you I haven’t accomplished much(just a youngen)but life losses its meaning sometimes. master’s, PHD become goals that lack meaning. Anyways I think what we need is inspiration. It doesn’t matter if its a new girl or an old professor but someone who has that jenesequa to inspire and help us discover ourselves again. Don’t u think???

  13. 13 anonx


    semen mnt and take a vacation r two side of the same coin. What do you favor?
    If I were Nol just about now I would take few good fictions and live at the foot of semen mnt for a month… Either come back a monk or come back with a view that the exchange in sex is more than bodyfluid, call it Nol’s booz

  14. 14 Doro Mata

    I’m no expert but this is what I would and do do.

    List everything you ever wanted to do/be. Take a pick and get busy with it.

    I’m seriously considering med school. I wanna cut open at least 5 people before I die, why not do it legally, you know?

    I’m not saying you do that too… but find your own gigolo man.

  15. 15 justme

    reading all this comments drives me crazy…still something

  16. 16 spacefog


    Very funny ..I am telling you there is something wrong with PPL

  17. 17 tpeace

    “well, I certainly feel the same way. unlike you I haven’t accomplished much(just a youngen)but life losses its meaning sometimes. master’s, PHD become goals that lack meaning. Anyways I think what we need is inspiration. It doesn’t matter if its a new girl or an old professor but someone who has that jenesequa to inspire and help us discover ourselves again. Don’t u think???”

    hmm…interesting…i think i experienced that last weekend…funny that u worded it this way.

    i’m considering getting an english language teaching gig in france and learning french while traveling europe or something insane like that in the next coupla yrs… :)

  18. 18 kiki

    Nolawi, nobody is happy all the time. I think we grab moments of happiness here and there. Just relax slowdown a little, don’t work too much, and try and appreciate the little things in life. Because material things won’t make you happy. You seem to know or sense what is missing in your life, so if it is spiritual fulfillment you are missing you can pray or meditate. If it is love, try to find it without expecting too much. Women are human after all, with many faults. If you are looking for perfection you are not going to find it because there is no such thing as a perfect woman. Even if there was, how boring she must be. You can also find meaning in life, as MMelody said through service. It might help you gain some purpose. Anyway, Good luck finding your bliss man.

  19. 19 Fano

    Read the alchemist and another book “love, eat and pray”

  20. 20 gg

    yo man, go for the big 60 inch LCD plasma TV, it might make all the difference, at least it did my case :)

  21. 21 Wurgatu

    sorry guys, if i am not mistaken Nolawi is not talking about bale mountain, vacation, volenteer service,excersise,marriage.. minamin minamin. he said…
    “there is something missing; I can feel it; no amount of busyness nor creativity and adventure is going to obscure it.”
    i reallllllllyyyyyyyy believe that SUICIDE is the only antidote for this disease.DO IT!

  22. 22 anonx

    “The key to the meaning of life?”

    You pulled a question that was’t asked out of thin space fog after answers were given to regroup, reset and try again at finding meaning… If there is something wrong its the assumption we are making including spacefog when he changes “lack of meaning” to mean “key to the meaning of life…” Sorry mate but we all need therapy specially one person above named worgutu

  23. 23 wudnesh

    hahhaha…lol..huh, gedelkegn whoever u r , Wurgatu. My! kiffu neh bakih!

  24. 24 biskut

    I don’t think there is such a thing called completehappiness .We can be only happy certain times .But there is definitely what you call being content.Being content does not mean being happy .It means accepting yourself …what you have become and where you are heading that is .Being content comes from GOD .Believe me it comes from the one and only.No amount of money ,women ,looking good ,having a phd etc…will give you that efoyta . it is all a facade .What you want is internal peace and that is only achievable through God .ena demo when i say God i stricly mean ab wold menfes kidus ishi .

  25. 25 Bez

    Maybe you are on the wrong planet and what you are looking for is in another planet. I think you should drop everything and start building a spaceship to go out there and look for it.

  26. 26 hewe

    Weynee Nolesha, ayzoha…whatever you do, don’t listen to Wurgeta:) I guess I have to travel to Semen Mountains too btw.

  27. 27 You Need Ass

    Nolawi – You need some ass bad man. I think you are feeling grumpy everytime you write about women, and your lack of a good ass (that you don’t have to pay for).

    If that doesn’t work, keep watching porn (with a girl) and just do-do her, until she tells you that she is in love.

    That might help, in my opinion. It is proven to have worked in a lot of place in Europe. Then again you might end up callin gthem too liberal.

    Try weird and different things.

  28. 28 Nolawi

    idiot why did you have to put a porn link…

    i have no problem getting no strings attached love… and don’t take everything i write literally…

  29. 29 baby

    Nol, here is my 2 cent.
    We all feel this way sometime in our lives. And believe you me, relationship, out of all the advices,is not an answer. No matter how great the girl is, she will not, and is not there, to fill out a void in your life.

    Here is my brother’s story. He is in a realtionship with this girl he really loves. They have been together for over 8 years. She is white, but gets along with the family very well. But you can tell there is something missing in her life. She is not satisfied with her life. My brother tells me that that’s why they can’t really last as a couple. He is a one of the most amazing men that i know. But nomatter how great he is, he can’t fulfill her because that’s not his place. And if you end up getting a girl to fulfill you, you will end up making her life miserable.

    So, if your feeling is what happens once in a while, then you are normal. But if it an everyday thing, then you might want to see a shrink. If nothing else, you will get a great series of blogs out of it.

  30. 30 Nolawi

    thank you for that… baby – those are the types of thoughts i was thinking of….

    meaning of life blaze blaza… i am not saying i am lonely…

  31. 31 maebel

    wurgatu Lig….ur first comment was great. ur next comment…hmmmm…even if it is yewurgat type, it is hilarious!

  32. 32 Anonx

    “i have no problem getting no strings attached love… and don’t take everything i write literally…”

    Which part Nol? The lack of meaning or the no string attached shouldn’t be taken literally? :)

  33. 33 selam

    I think i’m Bipolar!

  34. 34 anonx

    I dated one. It didn’t last. When you wrote that were you in manic or depressive phase?

  35. 35 datdude

    annox what was it like dating a bipolar girl? Play by play would be nice :)


    This is life. You are experiencing what it means to be human. In fact this is the best time to read the Book of Ecclesiastes. Yes all of it, its worth it. You are welcome in advance. As a teaser here is a little nugget Eccl 1:8 “The eye is not satisfied with seeing nor the ear with hearing”.

  36. 36 Anonx

    heh heh @ ‘play by play’
    there is a second option: a date with selam. But if she is currently taking a psych class, most likely she is misdiagnosing herself; ADD is a popular one too…
    Make sure she is not on meds on that date for some raw experience, but get her on the meds right after..:)

  37. 37 selam

    No i’m not on any meds, and you right Annox, i midiagnose myself, i mean that’s the only explanation i have for it. One minute i’m happy and next i’m misrable, moody, and depressed. I have to be busy all the time or i’ll go crazy and i also like to spend most of my time alone. i don’t know why i’m like this. this is my first time saying it, i’ve never told anybody because i think i don’t want to be weak or i don’t know.

  38. 38 selam

    i exercise and that helps sometimes.

  39. 39 Anonx

    Wow selam, I understand that took a lot of courage from you. Its one thing you should duplicate over and over because I don’t think it will fail you. And it’s never a weakness when you confront your issues and seek help from friends or professionals. Actually, its a strength, the opposite when you hide from fears and insecurities… that’s the real DISPLAY of weakness.

    I had moments a couple years ago when my anxiety level was so high on a daily basis, I found it very difficult to function. I knew what bothered me, I just didn’t know why and how. Getting to the why and how took a very good friend who listened without interrupting and asked questions for full two years and continuing on a regular basis. Getting to the why and how also took brutal honesty on my part. You need a friend that you can open up to and a friend who will listen without fighting for air time and a friend who won’t judge you. That worked for me and it still works. I understand there are other alternatives like visiting the doctors office, talking to a therapist, talking to a priest. I have no first hand experience of talking mental issues with doctors or therapist or priest, but it is an option worth considering.

    I am also more than willing to exchange email if that is the kind of space you like to talk it out.

    btw, I don’t think you’re bipolar, I knew two, and they couldn’t stand being alone. But they spent a lot of alone time, forced exile.

  40. 40 Wiit

    we all lack something, but if you have noticed, those connected with the spiritual side of themselves are MORE content. Try it. Read some philosophy books if needed. Happiness cannot be searched through materials and people. The happiness you get from these things are temporary. YOU NEED eternal happiness, we all do. We search for them at wrong places though.

    Spiritual does not mean religious. Just connecting with your soul. I think until now, you have only tried to satisfy your body=shell and its not working.

  41. 41 selam

    Thank you Anonx, You see i don’t have that many friends i can talk to this kind of thigs. A couple of friends i have has thier own problems and some of them are just don’t get me or they are the kind who tells me it’s on my head and i need to shake it off. one of my friend keeps telling me i need a man to be happy which i want to stay away from, atleast for now. I hate people feel sorry for me or judging me, i rather keep everything inside.

    Like you said i need to know WHY i feel this way. I never consider being on any meds or therapy but latley, i’m considering talking to therapist. And i hope i’m not bipolar.

  42. 42 tpeace

    hi selam…
    have u tried writing or drawing or any other kind of articulation of how u feel?

    here’s what i mean

  43. 43 Anonx

    Selam, a relatives called me out of the blue in a very long time. She is married, with kids and just had it, reached a point of breakdown. I convinced her to seek professional help since she has full medical benefit. To make a long story short, she called me after her first visit. Her therapist asked her: ‘when you board a plane with your children and the crew demonstrates safety procedures, what’s the first thing they tell regarding the oxygen mask?” She had no clue. “Put the mask on first on you, then on your children’. My cousin found it hard to comprehend that simple truism because she puts her kids before her health. Nothing comes before your health, not your friends, not your job, not your children. You ‘don’t have that many friendS’? You only need ONE good friend that you TRUST. Sometimes it matters what other people think about you, but I got to tell you, what you think of yourself matters more.

    Its not easy for most of us to make a successful transition in our new environments. Many things happen to many people, you are not alone at all. Bipolar is NOT a bad word, many people live with it and manage to do so successfully when they seek to understand and learn to manage. If you do it with courage and honest and persistence, I know you will come out well.

  44. 44 selam

    Thanks Anonx and tpease.
    I’m going to take your advise and see a therapy(well i have a great insurance i might as well use it) and try to write about how i feel.
    Thank you for not judging.

  45. 45 Totit

    Hey Selam…I am 100% with Anonx on this one…It takes a lot of courage to come out and say hey I hink I am bipolar. One thing I want to tell u is as a woman, our body is subjected to a tremendous level of hormone surges that can make our mood swing from one end to the other. However if u feel like ur mood swings are really extreme, the first stop should be ur primary care physician, who can run certain test and evaluate ur hormone levels,a nd if he beleives u have any psycological issue, he should refer u to see a psychtrist…I extremely encourage u to do it…Another thing I wanna point out to u…the mood swings that happen in a bipolar range for days…It is not something that happens from minute to minute..If this can be of any reasurance to u…Depression is a very serious disorder and it would be really great if u pay ur primary care a visit…as Anonx has offered If u want to u can e-mail me too…I might have some more info for u..aight…

  46. 46 mima

    I have no new insights to add here. reading this post reminded me of the song i always have on repeat when i feel this way “something’s missing” by John Mayer. Give it a listen, if nothing else it can be your anthem of discontent

  47. 47 selam

    Thanks Totit
    I don’t know if this isn’t extrem but let me tell you what happen on Nov,5th. The night before with Obama winning i was the happiest person in the world, i was screaming and acting crazy which was natural. The next day was the same thing, i was going office to office congratulating Obama supporers and that last until 9am. for some crazy reason i become agitated and felt depressed. That was supposed to be one of the happiest day but i was misreable all day, i wanted to disapear, i wanted not to feel. I went to the restroom and started crying because i didn’t know what to do. There was a babyshower for one of my coworker but i couldn’t go. everybody can tell something was wrong and asking me if it was about a man, i simply said yes to get them off my back. I turned off my phone and didn’t speak to anyone the rest of the day. when i got home i just sat in my car for 2 hours crying. To me this is extream and the worest feeling ever. Anyways, i just want to shar that was the happiest, the worst and the weirdest day of my like.

  48. 48 helen

    Selam, whether it is bipolar disorder, depression or just normal hormonal fluctuations there is nothing for you to be ashamed of. I strongly agree with Totit that you need to see a professional. With some of these issues, you just can’t talk or write yourself into getting better. Sometimes it is a chemical imbalance in your brain that is causing the problem and needs to be treated with medication. Please go see someone soon; there is no need for you to suffer needlessly. Good luck.

  49. 49 Wurgatu

    selam, for change the day is TODAY and the time is NOW. so please do what annox and totit suggest right now. Good luck!!

  50. 50 anonx

    I agree with all that’s been said Selam. First visit your doctor and keep a journal, that’s your measure of progress. If I have any thing more to add, ask your doctor what kind of support group exist for your condition and where to reach them. Some support group members have done their homework and can help you with the numerous options available to you so you can make an educated decision.

  51. 51 selam

    Thank you everybody!

  52. 52 Dinich

    wow….I love the flow of love and support in this thread….

  53. 53 Hidaya

    Selam I would like to wish you well. You got good advice so I would just like to add one thing, you once mentioned exercise helps you, so will dance if you make it part of your life and do it consistently, and unlike exercise it is fun..also check your diet, so much of mood disorders, if that is what you might be suffering from is further aggravated by diet, if you can, at the same time as you might be seeking help for the moods you mentioned, see a nutritionist as well..good luck

  54. 54 hewe

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  55. 55 datdude

    Heyyyy i’m feeling the love, Annox you make a great armchair psychiatrist. :)

    The issue of mental health is something I least understand. Selam, I hope you find that which makes you love more, care more, and give more. Thats my selfish wish as this world needs more citizens like that. If the american healthcare apparatus doesn’t work, you can always try the OPTION #2 on the annox plan :) . Annox is astute in his recommendations, and is often called dr. two, because his second opinion is much, much, much, better than his first. lol

    (i know, this thread was going well until i entered——->>>>>>

  56. 56 selam

    I think exercise gives me more energy that’s why i like it. I thought church was going to help but when i’m in the church i just spaced out so i stopped going there. The reason i didnt seek help early is because my mood swing wasn’t an everyday thing. there are days i go with out any problem so i thought i was exaggerating and telling myself i’ll be ok until it became everyday thing.
    I used to be very out going with a lot of friend, but now, i don’t want to go anywhere, i don’t want to date, i just go to work, come home and read or watch tv. I just moved back to dc area after 10 years so i don’t really know that many people. but it doesn’t bother me cause i like being alone.
    Hewe, thank you for the list.

  57. 57 hewe

    Sure thing Selam, ayzosh!!

  58. 58 endalc

    .please dear person if contacet me call me
    by this nember .i donet know for this cantrey phone .key .jest i.ll.give you this .my nober. 0924069764 agen 0922938742. use my
    mobil no thank you miss m/r al my freinds

  59. 59 wudnesh

    if u r in DC area and want to meet good friends, Hewe is betam betam arif sew. I mean, she is as real as you can get…very caring.

  60. 60 Anonx

    Datdude, thanks for giving me credit for trying although I would enjoy armchair economist, historian or politician, the things I enjoy reading, I dont mind the label as long as the group effort showed Selam that there is help out there. As for mental health you won’t be surpised…. I saw a headline that said “1/5 American has metal health disorder.” I didn’t read it, I am not surprised–tell me something I don’t know. Take anger for example something I have seen on family members…. the movies may make it seem sexy, but if you find yourself at the receiving end of an unproportional and cronic anger, you will either have to find help for yourself or take the angery person to anger managment class thats if they admit they have a problem or you will end that relationship. But if that anger is downed on a helpless child, God save….

  61. 61 datdude

    Annox, you are welcome…speaking of anger, I know how traumatic it can be for children when they have an angry adult in their life. I have my questions on how americans diagnose mental health illness though. I remember working in a summer camp one summer and almost half of the kids where on some mental drug (and these where average kids) I think it was for ADD. It seems they over diagnose every behavior as some disease, i’m sure i read somewhere that habitual thieves are labeled as mentally ill, or other behaviors that I tend to look at as more the result of upbringing or personal choice instead of how that person is wired in the brain.

    DC btw is a very very depressing place…I felt like a lab rat, its crowded, too much traffic, expensive, and way too much crime areas (no go areas). Its only redeeming quality is that almost everyone that I know from addis lives there, so going there a couple of times a year is bearable. This is what happens when you are accustomed to rolling green hills, clean air, quiet safe streets, mountain fresh spring water, chirping birds, friendly neighbors, and traffic free streets. Yes you guessed right, I live in Mr. Rogers neighborhood :)

  62. 62 endalc

    befor one 2 years ago say . if you get chance . live washington ariea. .we ll made good frindship conection . with you . we ll comform . to our .to do friendly . play make byfrequently thing . desuces. but until. im not live in US .

  63. 63 Anonx

    “… other behaviors that I tend to look at as more the result of upbringing or personal choice instead of how that person is wired in the brain.”

    Dadude, I feel we will end up talking about which is it that wires the brain, nature or nurture. I am not getting into that one cause I dont want to attract labels I dont want :) I’m more interested in who is that screwing me in life and how…wherever you are sounds like a paradise, I will be arround your neighborhood soon after next week and I can’t wait

  64. 64 Aynaddis

    OMG…I could have written that. I think i wrote the same thing in my mind like a thousand times. I couldn’t have said it any better Nolawi…
    I just hope to be able to wake up one morning and say, “My God and I suffice. And I don’t need anything else…” But, that’s wishful thinking. I hate having that need for the “unknown” when all else seems plenty but I’ve accepted it because it could have been worse. What if i stop “needing”? And finally find myself content…that, I dread..

  65. 65 tpeace

    hmmm maybe we’re meant to create meaning for ourselves and that is what they call “free will”

  66. 66 endalc

    when i call you . drew to plan .but befor call you . i deisces . for some thing create .so until .im not create something do you say .meby one day .you say im in washington.ariea .call by phone . sorry . you are not remeber me . because . you .v. several . clint .sned .meny articl .good frinds so you doent what there . i .v long years morthan .5 years . with you. i doent blive you beby of.corues . this my
    dearm , how.ever .i was.espend throuth several problem .with out some one suport me leift .several . africa .esia . auropa. .know i have my prein .not faction . will sreis . jest .i ran to give me good servent .
    ..thank you /miss selam . takelch . amakelch . azelka

  67. 67 selam


  68. 68 Totit

    AM I the only one who thinks Mr Endalc might be a little confused or something here or in all his previous comments?

  69. 69 Anonx

    Totit, I would like to know in what language she is writing because I think its clearly google or something translation. She is a robo looking for the hot habesha men here :) . Surprised Nolawi aint blocking her :)

  70. 70 Dinich


    loooool…. Endalc sounds like an abesha living in sudan/djibouti etc…. almost no english, hoping that some abesha lady in america will call his number and take him to america and live happily thereafter…

  71. 71 endalc

    lololo thank you SO MUCH . you.yes .i have long time .with .one very famuos. first lady so until .im fellow to she is email send. .articl. but know i have not free time get write .tomuch .thing..for. hem she is .and.ather.friends becaues. she is not call to me .befor .2 week ago .i was send .my mobil. NO. .ather . im ethiopiawi .person. im live in sudan . not ecsebit me .have to meny thaousend .ethiopian.people in sudan .

  72. 72 endalc

    i think . you are . born in .africa .live america. at this time al ready i know chenge . your sitzen . so you can .partspite. to this .elacetion . united estate .new presedent. ecsepit . you and your ather friends. .dowment.with .part of m/r. barak obama. al get .caccess. you was hinner . ather opetion . to that your .party .

  73. 73 Totit

    Well Dinich and Annox…right on the money…:)

  74. 74 endalc

    .washingtou ariea . unnaune.sorues of news say .one
    16 years.young. banck of farmeil ethiopia. diplomat. boy kill by ..ununne .person .whay not . ethiopia estand . with there or in wrold yours .

  75. 75 datdude

    this kind of gibberish must be design. :) i’m guessing an out of work abstract artist, who decided to try his hand in writing….

    sherlock dude does it again.

  76. 76 tpeace

    so this is a droning talk but very interesting stuff in it – esp @ the end. fascinating thoughts about flow, creativity, happiness and a life worth living

  77. 77 endalc

    . thank you disbeile man . at this time no some came to you .make and give advaic . for you about for your internal feeling .good friends ..

  78. 78 endalc

    .i was haev meny good friends . but at this time they are not live with me .

  79. 79 kam

    Nolawi, make God your friend and you will appreciate all that life has to offer…

  80. 80 Nolawi

    oh sharrup! with your god talk!

  81. 81 kam

    I pray for you that one day you will see the light…

  82. 82 eriwoman

    nol, ever since i discovred this blog, i enjoyed reading the topics you post every time. and i have read some of the opinions and thoughts that was left, i have also read your responces. and the think that bothers me is that,
    why do u hate God?

    i am not a religous person, but i do believe in god.and i totally agree with Kam.

    give it a try, go to church and see, you might even enjoy it.

  83. 83 endalc

    .you blive like this . if have some fuelt. mest be to do make comfesetion. pray .take with .evry bedy

  84. 84 datdude

    endalc!!!!!!!! our resident laureate, i have no idea what you just said, but we’ve been wondering about you :)

  85. 85 endalc

    jest im going to my finishing .
    thank you i love al our friends .

  86. 86 endalc

    thank you my . but .im not understand. you . for what . im .have critical seituetion . for my life . .im sacerd. for myself .jest i feel lost o my self peoples is not support me . im lone. im not get free time i went . seelp
    long live family of abraham abebe
    i was informed you long time

  87. 87 Hidaya

    Dear endalc I am reading all your writing, brother Anonx does not believe me when I say I saw see that I saw you as a style of writing a bit like a writing hologram I think it is the dots that distract me but that is neither here nor there coz I did understand this last one though, I will get there with the others at some point…on this last message you sounds distressed, if you are I am sorry is there anything that I can do to help?…please say if there is…

    I keep forgetting to mention I too would volunteer to contribute to a card for communication purposes with endlac, the cost is the same as here on conversion…I also keep forgetting to say yey to book club….

    Datdudey I will get back to you also next week when my time is my own again…for now I found this link and thought you might be interested in it , it is one man I like Maxim Gorky, didn’t know of him until three years ago and discovered it through a friend at the time…I suspect you might know about him already but incase you don’t enjoy:) …

    PS I am a bit of a fan of old Desto but only really read his Notes from Underground and watched a very good adaptation of crime and Punishment I think I might wanna read it and all and maybe see it on stage as well..I also like Anton Chekov but keep the man who wrote War and Peace away from me., I was made to read that book long before I was old enough for it , it traumatised me and I didn’t even understood it, when I grew up I refuse t go anywhere near it, went after salma Rusdie instead or at least one of his giant books Midnight Children and that was another trauma aye, never again …I did like reading Anna Karenina, but no more Rushdie, he gave me a fright for life…so there I am a fellow miserabilist and outed myself…just as well i don’t work for Ministry of Defence… take care and night night from me:)

    Anonx hawina….

    I am reading endlac and trying really hard so that you believe me:)…I don’t know why but I always thought endlac wanted to conceal himself / herself rather than communicate hence the dots, the lots and lots of dots…i have the concentration span of a gnat and kept staring at the dots when couldn’t get the words or hear endalc voice or whatever, that is when endalc as the writing hologram idea took hold in my mind…now not so sure…ciao mate:)

  88. 88 anonx

    Endalc- what is ur telephone number? What is ur e-mail address?

  89. 89 datdude


    recommending a russian authord to me is like pushing drugs to a recovering crack head…but thanks, i’ve heard of him before but never really read his works. he’ll be my next project. I hope your hectic week goes smoothly.


    if I read you correctly you said you are having troubles, can you tell us where you are? why you are there? maybe we can help.

    did anyone get the abraham abebe reference? who is that…

    so clueless

  90. 90 endalc

    .endalic is .who talke with you saveral time
    with you . who was .espeak very will
    he is cheat you . so do you know .will
    my life and crtical seituetion . because .im live
    sudan .live single . with out family
    live to life of refugee khartom is life is not
    eisy bile me .

  91. 91 Anonx

    man, where is ato cali when needed.
    I read a ‘he’ and I see a ‘cheat’…. who cheat and who is he?

  92. 92 Hidaya

    Hello eldalc….as datdude would say so clueless…it’s been asked and offered both before, but can anyone help?

  93. 93 dawitm

    hey endalc,
    nice to see you again ohh you mysterious one :)

    lol Anonx. i think you are right, only ato cali can dicpher what endalc is saying :)

  94. 94 endalc

    im very wil .i doent know what about . say

  95. 95 endalc

    dawitm . are you bing .i doent know . this ..i im talke .with my .guys .al my friands .i have not meny . so i caant . write . meny wored. of coures . im ran .to do reconganize

  96. 96 endalc

    .im write to you . some time i have free. time .
    some time .i can not made to same thige .leavit .to
    with out any thing

  97. 97 endalc

    at this time . im live wite same body . i went . make meny to hem ..because i have long time estop to my job .but until. know he is not came to me so im very deserive .ok. .i was make mobil with some bedy . call to hem . because i went noes .infacet. al so i have not .mobil. in my hand ,so i went . begege. with some one but he is not volenter. give to me

  98. 98 endalc

    this my comen life . i was .thouht estable .some sores .of meny. it look .what to do shall . i wnet to do .smel beuisness. in my cantrey al so i have not . some thing in my hand at, this time .khartoum . this semlore
    problem . have to by several . ethiopian . refugee.. im one to them this is my matter .you say .please tell me your idea. .i went aplishite you .and impecit. to you some choose to estart. sell make a few week ago coures. al so .this my.creat .al so need a meny
    so what do you say

  99. 99 endalc

    .some bedy talke with out permetion . so im not feel a bad im deserve to hem he estobeid ,he borin from . facen .famliy. so i doent . know how to can .talke to them .but i have plan .make free.deiusces. you .know until i buish to refugee. life . in khartoum . sudan .

  100. 100 helen

    ere be’enatachu answer endalc. Timmy might be trapped in a mine or something…

  101. 101 Anonx

    lol @helen… nah, seems Lassie made new friends. This can only get better now…

  102. 102 Hidaya

    .*i went aplishite you .and impecit*

    endalc, with respect:, this phrase has got me transfixed, please put me out of my mystey and tell me what it means….and I hope you are ok. are you ok? you never say even when asked bu I hope you are, please he phrase?…

  103. 103 Dinich


    Endalc is a clone with partially developed brain…A group of russian scientists cloned an abesha and planted him in Sudan. They r monitoring his activities through a remote device…..:)

    I am convinced Endalc is ye DC arada:)

  104. 104 Hidaya


    If endalc is a clone he might not be the finished product or final draft, still time for all the fine tuning I guesslol… I wish he/she would just tell me “whataplishite you .and impecit” mean, i have thought of everything but still havent got a clue what this means…

  105. 105 yebolelij

    LOL @ Dinich and Hidaya
    “so what do you say”
    endalc , we say please humor us some more lol

  106. 106 endalc

    . in ethiopia.
    addiss abeba. ethio miss atetageb .
    she is give vioce . with one journalist.
    she ie say i ll be ambassader. of unceif.

  107. 107 endalc_

    . please write .acsebit. english . because . im not write
    amhric . so .if caan .t write . arbic . langoage. . so .i doent know what do you like . .you say .m/r endalc ye. dC
    ARADA , SORRY this is not right .dear friend . plesa e
    one day i ll call you

  108. 108 Dinich


    Sure. One day I ll call you too.

    Who is Miss atetageb? Is that your girlfriend? is she beautiful? Any plans to marry her?

  109. 109 Hidaya


    did you ask to be refered m/r endalc ye.?? ok, mr endalc ye. one uestion. arada is worse than clone? …I am going to attempt to endal .endalc.

  110. 110 Anonx

    finally the endalc sex is determined. and I understand about 50% endalc now compared to almost non before. Can’t determine if its that I who got better/dummier, or endalc

  111. 111 endalc

    . .sorry . miss or m/r sorry about for this your .
    comment. but you are not sure my iter nale behave . and opnane . i was imformed you .this my real like life .so you doent know what until .my real back graund hestory . doent reserch.agen
    my meins because .im .lefit. throuth .ment.certical.setuetion. .know im deisaid . to call that great our journalist. .man and women . so inculding . our friends meit. to with them
    but espeicaly. at this time .i ve problem .
    thank you endalc is polit . not hard maker.youg..29/years . ago . thank you

  112. 112 Hidaya

    Good good morning Mr Endalc are you?, i like how you describe yourself, “Endalc polite not hard maker”, aye, not hard maker and polite you certainly are mr endalc ye.,

    now since I have all enrolled to learn endalc language a little help from professor you wouldnt go amiss dear…weeks later I am still stuck trying to figure out what “whataplishite you .and impecit” means, and the rest, but this one tops them all…

  113. 113 endalc

    . dear friend . you know what about took .do you know nose wil .ambassader aida kebede . im in ethiopia .my family al so came to hear addiss abeba . but im not get chance grewup .in my homland .i was get meny smarte friends . until .im with there . .several .women .wish to do jest like .she is famous ethiopiait . women . for world araund

  114. 114 endalc_

    you thienk me jest like gourp polite. mebers.sorry

  115. 115 endalc

    . i went wish . imputit. on this your. aritcl.and.voic .fetuerty.dream. to your homland . to the fewtuer. to need change everything.
    people be come to very.sevilazetion . bush . modern life .copletly .people .estand .to do estart . with
    our nun gevermental .org. with .forgen goven. we wish . to ment pongres. so what do you feel

  116. 116 endalc

    to day im very hanger because . to wither of khartoum
    43 dgree senty grede . so im very feel .chenge to
    this cantrey .because im resecet. im very ager see .some lady she is cheklit celer . seit to hem .took to with hem case of beheave. love al i went see .one lady
    she is have .unqe beheave some time she is be come nerve
    she ie dident went eny took with very one you .by amahric word gesela .she is took very strong . word like that . after a few wite .you go to your home with out .chenge greating beby . becaues you .and .she is like renew agen . this your secreat love in deba .mest you ll be come to crezy a few menit .worth about for to.your lover . i blive like that . so i nver bring succses. get this chance beby .africans not have good quetiosnes . give to good aproutue. so i doent .now how to can solive to this .my problem .
    i like to best thieng .that menis . music and .love . shew make with .freequently people by freequently opject . thnk you

  117. 117 Doro Mata

    who else believes that life’s meaning is somehow lost at birth?

    on the same note, some people just may need to be pushed back in and born again.

  118. 118 SelamT

    I get a headach every time i read Endalc. Is it just me? I can’t get it…. is it English? I may be missing something

  119. 119 endalc

    thank you so much . for this your later i ll tray it this english , but i ver can because it is not food but it is not enough because im respecet anather word something thank you

  120. 120 endalc

    until .im worth about for one beauty .and esmart lady . but i doent know at time. she. is where .most be i went NOSE here .real.address . because .i be come restless .unmaid. get some problem. because .she is not volenter. give good.tretment.plesae lisen my people
    beby . so can

  121. 121 endalc

    .you doent know will nose miss selam . can you
    give me mobil NO .selam . tray use yourself ID .ADDRESS. plesae .i meny thieng . took to them because .i have .some intetive with .hem , please .

  122. 122 endalc

    to day last night . i was sleep alon .i was see .good dream . that menis . my darly .agree with me volterly . but im not give hem .polit face because . she is was .cheit me

  123. 123 heri

    no polite face to cheaters

  124. 124 endalc

    .sorry .dear my friends . .im not .polit meber. because . im not founder T P L F .E P R D F .
    with them .they are once .awrd for world arwnd , they are .famous . warers novel .we nver come to jest like their .18 years ago .they are fighting with colenal . mengestu h/Mariam . soldgers .so what do you thienk . dear my freind waw .im afeard . for them
    speak . for this hestory . interfer. tray expletion .brock. sorry beby this is not posetion
    thank you

  125. 125 Kok

    So Nolawi – did you ever figure it out?

    Funny to read this now – I was in that exact place around that same time. In some ways things are different for me now and in others they are the same. Still life just kinda goes on regardless.

  126. 126 Nolawi

    @ Kok:
    if i was to write this article again.. i would rephrase the last paragraph…

  127. 127 luli

    so Nolawi, are we to assume you’ve found contentment?

  128. 128 endalc

    hi how is job thank you . about for this your .articel . sorry i went save to my time . .al ways you worite .unnesesery word .

  129. 129 endalc

    . thank you so much .you. for this our friends. and gurop. we was took by frequently opject .we was ll be learn how is learn .shear . to people to people idea. this is not esiey . .but .we ll conforem . to fetuerty. reteuren . see our back .ground hestoy . our netivetiy land tradetion .caltuer .to learn that ourself . only .feel to somthing .jest that . until.know we are not worth.creat acheve something. reconganaize /agen ourself .solve matter to our poorst people .something something . you know

  130. 130 endalc

    .mam. some.people .investgated,me all ways with out resein
    so im .afareid . to hem .mam .whay . al way he need .gege me . he went ..kill me .mam blive me im not afect . to hem . so im be come .crezy. .my mind not estaret. to.will by this case .mam im leavit that all my .mam .people not anderestand .me because .they.are deisad kill me so that im saceard . to them . please tray forgget me .because i went to live only for my
    sweet girl firend.but i doent know she is where .
    all im lookinggggggggggggggggggggggggg

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