Proposal 15 Comments

Is she ‘Marriage Material’?

An acquaintance of mine has been dating this woman for a while now and while he is very happy in his committed relationship, she has been hinting on the marriage issue in the past couple of months.

For whatever reason, he asked my opinion — I told him that I am no expert, hence my Love-Hate relationship with women.

I told him to ask three questions and if the answer is ‘yes,’ then he should marry her. If it’s a no then he shouldn’t.

  1. Does she ever argue about money? I had heard once — I believe her on bernos that most marriages end for financial reasons. Financial compatibility!
  2. Does she try to satisfy you in bed as much as you try to for her? Does she look at sex as a gift or does she look at it as an intimate experience she has with you? Sexual compatibility!
  3. Do her emotions fluctuate? Does she get upset or pleased with small issues? Its draining to keep a woman happy if is volatile. Emotional compatibility!

And so, we will see what happens but I think if he has to ask an acquaintance even one as smart as me for confirmation on thoughts about marriage then it has to be scientific. As another person here on bernos once said:

A marriage for love is a luxury I can’t afford to wait for…”

Are you fucken kidding me? Marry someone you don’t really love for the sake of compatibility and consistency.

15 Responses to “Proposal”


  1. 1 selamT

    I am confused! or I just don’t get it.
    You Say
    “I told him to ask three questions and if the answer is ‘yes,’ then he should marry her. If it’s a no then he shouldn’t. The answer for the 3 should be all yes???

    Then: The answer for # 1 should be NO

    1. Do you ever argue about money? I had heard once — I believe her on bernos that most marriages end for financial reasons. Financial compatibility!

  2. 2 hewe

    SelamT, I think what he means by that is, if the two partners have different set of priorities for money….eg. he’s a spender and she has 2 jobs just to support his habit…’endeee i come home enaa you bought the wii?? WTF’ or maybe he bought the big screen tv….okay okay…..as in something big as opposed to just simple argument….right??

  3. 3 yachilej

    it’s been my observation (of late) that men decide to “get married” based on things that their partners are absolutely clueless about..let alone agree on– and here (this post) is one more confirmation..

  4. 4 Dinich

    Nol,

    Sorry Nol. u gave him bad advice….duros kewendelaTe min yiTebekal…:)

    # 3 is a good point but again women are more emotional than men and some level of emotional fluctuation should be considered healthy, at least once a month (wink wink)

    Also, arguing about money is perfectly fine…It is really hard for a man and woman to agree on how to spend money…Some level of arguing is healthy. Choices between the man’s entertainment unit and the woman’s kitchen remodelling are always controversial…. But the idea is over time u ll learn to compromise and bear with each other….

    More than all these issues I think the key is his commttment to marriage. And the question is ….what is marriage to you and how committed are you to making it work?…no matter how good u are at choosing the person, bottom line is marriage is no piece of cake….It is as demanding as it is satisfying…

    So the question is how committed is he to making it work? more of a soul searching question than questions about her….he brings as much to the marriage if not more as she does….

  5. 5 Nolawi

    I have to rephrase the question – question one that is

    please help – so that the answer is yes +

  6. 6 Tsedey

    “as smart as me for confirmation on thoughts about marriage then it has to be scientific.”

    If thoughts and confiramtion on marriage is scientific, all the smart(academically) pple would be married and live happily ever after.

    EMOTIONS, understanding,commitment, trust,quality time, comfort.. all these things are not quantifiable yet so vital that a marriage that lacks any of these is susceptible to breakage and u can’t justify that in scientific reasoning.

    Bottom line: decision to marry someone is not as easy as ticking the three boxes above and tudah! let’s get married. I can’t repeat enough what Dinich mentioned:

    “… the idea is over time u ll learn to compromise and bear with each other….”

    It’s complex!

    If that was my friend who asked for an advice, I would have given him pages of open ended questions and give him scenarios cos it’s all about compromise,empathy, understanding and willingness to work on it besides the love and sex thing.

  7. 7 tpeace

    what other reasons u heard of lately yachilej?

  8. 8 yachilej

    ow just the usual “i’m getting older, what else am I supposed to do”.. manifested all kinds of ways

  9. 9 datdude

    Nolawi, #3 is so very important…as a guy, there is nothing worse than being stuck in a house with a volatile wife. It might be the one universal trauma men share, it is our hiroshima.

  10. 10 test

    test

  11. 11 Stephanie

    Do you guys have a recommendation section, i’d like to suggest some stuff

  12. 12 MorgainFI

    I was wondering what other peoples opinions are on this?

  13. 13 SKgirl

    Let me just start with mts! hopefully you don’t make your own relationship decisions with short checklists like this, Nolawi. You’ve turned the whole relationship issue into an all or nothing situation…listen to Dini’s comment…Although important, it’s not all about you thinking you love a girl and the sex is great now, but how about a year later or 10 years later…what if it’s not one day, would you walk away or work on it…where the heck is the commitment then? In the words of a certain friend, ” when you get married, don’t consider divorce an option”

  14. 14 Doro Mata

    I hear constant arguments are what keep a commited relationship or a legally bound partnership really interesting and alive. no argument = stale, bordem

  15. 15 Quintin Schindler

    hollister shops deutschland

Leave a Reply