I am not a slut!‘ Things woman say to rationalize certain actions.
Yes, there are double standards. Males can sleep around and boost their machismo while woman who do the same thing are considered to be degrading their femininity.
I love sex, why can’t I enjoy it freely?”
She said to me, while trying to explain away her discretion this past weekend.
She knows that she could tell me, she knows that she could say the truth without a slay sentence coming unto her.
Rationalize away! I don’t mind. I don’t mind if you want to sleep around. Playing the field is also ok by me.
The Talk
Another told me that she is not monogamous, till ‘the talk,’ you know the one you talk about exclusivity.
I am of the mind that, one person should only date one person regardless of ‘the talk.’ But more and more I am encountering woman that say that they want to keep it open till sex is involved. I want to keep my options open, till I find the right guy.
I don’t want to have the talk, to know I can trust her.
Regardless, I wouldn’t mind dating a ‘slut’ by societal values. The double standard should go away; the only thing I want is a little honest.
There are a few I have had and continue to have interests in. They are honest about it, they don’t care what people say. They have had several one nightstands;
I have been nineteen men and I am only twenty four.”
I really don’t mind, experience is good. Maybe you can show me what you have learned in the ‘land of experience,’ just don’t gag and tie me.
What I do not want is to be surprised? I don’t want to wonder if the smirk on the guys face that came up to us to say hello is caused by the his memories of the night you spanked him.
If it is, that’s ok! I might want the same thing one day. Yes, history is important; how, when, what & where.
The Grey Area
How much is too much information? For the weirdos like me, nothing is too much but some might get turned off by the details like the type of lubricant you ex likes to use.
So mention your random encounters.
I finally sat her down and asked detailed question, and she was like I didn’t lie to you. Not telling me that you are currently separated from your husband because I didn’t ask you is lying, you… you … YOU SLUT!
I am not saying rent a billboard, just be open.
Published by July 17th, 2008 in Dating and Social.
ante?! … I introduce you to my youngest aunt and this is how you repay me?! by vilifying her on your website.
actually i wanted her husband(who has a man crush on you) to see you with her and get jealous enough to try and work things out between them. i am glad to say it all worked out.
and we dont say slut … its Sexual Enthusiast.
really? like that dude that said he loves his ex-star studed r&b singer wife so much that he licks a crap outta her ass
Nothing is too much info for me… the more I know the more I can love her and trust her….If I don’t know… then I will always be wondering…
honesty is vital to trust…. and trust is vital for any relationship…
and there is no love with out trust….
well … my psychology prof will argue that secrets are not bad, you don’t have to tell your partner everything. say telling your partner something will for sure ruine your relationship or damage it unrepairably, then wouldn’t you say that, if you valued the relationship, you’d refrain from telling them … ?
I say every information/secret should come out with time…U get to know a person and the more u trust them the more u open up and share details with.
Personally I would get turned off if a guy told me all abt his past r/ships in detail right away….dude get to know me first!!!
Nolawi, you must be one of very few guys who would be OK with a girl who is Promiscuous (maybe that’s not the right word…let’s say a girl who had many partners)…Abehsa guys will judge based on that…
But honesty is definitely the best policy!!!!
It’s has been six misrable months since i have sex, now who can beat that? There are times that i just wanna grab a guy and do it, but i don’t do casual sex (sometimes i wish i do). Now, who wanna do it with me? any volunteer? anybody? Gedel gebu eshi…… sorry, it’s the hormore talking.
there is nothing wrong with casual sex my dear, as long as you are protected and you are comfortable with the guy. look into booty calls. pretty satisfying but it gets boring after a while.
the double standard bothers me to the core. a man can have casual sex and not be reprimanded or labeled, however if a woman decides to do it she has to make sure that no one know or she doesn’t do it at all for fear of being labeled. and God forbid she is labeled a whore/slut, cuz then her chances of finding mr.right will decrease exponentially.
why do I have to be in a relationship in order to have sex? I am not advocating promiscuous behaviors, however there shouldn’t be anything wrong with a woman wanting to have casual sex, should she feel the need to. She should not have to wait for the next relationship. She may be waiting for 6 months, like our dear friend selam.
I say, screw societies more.
i may have opened pandora’s box with this one.
Interesting topic!
i say this
“there are things which have to be done.you do them but you don’t try to justify them they can not be justified.you never talk about them, there is nothing to talk about. you just do them and then you forget it.”
for example a woman doesn’t have to tell to her hubby how many times she do sega with or with out his absence…this also apply for the opposite sex.
me for instance needn’t have to tell to my gal about my last night wet dream with my first woman.why should i tell her? how could i justify it?
i am not a person who talk details. i hate details.i only want to tell the general. yes it has caused me many problems in my previous relationships. but sewoch i really couldn’t help it……
Sluts!!
I don’t do casual sex not because of society, i don’t give a hoot about society, i’m just not that comfortable. I just moved here in D.C. from a small city and talking to my habesha people is kind of hard. Ladis, is me or men around here wants to skip the “get to know each other” part and wants to jump on you bone and be in the relationshionship without you knowing it and they tell you they love you after knowing them just a few weeks(i thought this was fugera).
Come on the masturbation details are very important… betam actually
A good friend told me.. one of the reasons that a breakup with her ex was inevitable was because the sex life pretty much disappeared…
you see he would masturbate before she got home and he was not in the mood to do the job…. when they did it was half assed alech… and the only part of the sex she enjoyed was satisfying him … because she stopped enjoying it…
anyways I told her… that is what you gate for dating a white boy….
if you are single and 2 consenting adults then you do what you want/need. I am not against the idea of casual sex or occasional booty call.
bernos.org ? are your shirts free?…is the profit going to a not for profit org?
i thought .org site are for not ofr profit organizations?
There is your answer dude… ^ Source
Hello Nolawi
I have posted here before. It’s been a while. I was hoping I would find good things here. But sadly that’s not the case. I think I am one of the few people left who stand for the cause of Jesus. Sleeping around is immoral it is a sin. it is breaking God’s law. We will all stand before Him one day and give an account to how we lived on earth.
Sex is meant for married people a husband and a wife…a male and female. (not same sex)
But people don’t care about that these days…
They mock God and continue to sin against him. God is watching he knows everything including the number of our hair our every thought.
He has made a way for us to have a relationship with Him through His son Jesus Christ.
Wondimoche ina ihtoche
Ebakachu kehatiayt raku. Egziabherin firu.
( people Fear God! repent from your sinful ways )
stay healthy and safe don’t be statistics for Hiv and other STD
If anyone wants to know how the can receive the gift of salvation please let me know.
I don’t know if this is too much info, but for me I would just want to know the important relevant bits, like who he loved before me, and left an impact and that maybe he lost and maybe secretly pines for, and whom he might get in touch with when we have a rough patch, or the female best friend whom he has an emotional bond I am an outsider to, and whom incidentally is quite a nice person and difficult to resent or hate, and because I have my own emotional bonds to both my male and female friends making a fuss about that, would make me unreasonable and a bit cheeky, and not in a nice way.
Notches on bedposts I don’t really want to worry about, what I want to know about,are the ones who got away and who were important to him and if they were loved more than I am ,and if given the chance he wants to run off with her and not be with me….ok all of this is hypothetical but it is what would matter to me…
I have nothing against what single consulting adults get up to, if they neither hurt themselves nor others and it is not illegal, having said that not all women like men who have been with an entire city of women, some might even feel just a number amongst many others, there is experience which is attractive ,and there is being the proverbial male version of the village bike, fine line…
Witness,
How do I receive the gift of salvation?
ha
boy i’m liking this site so far! some interesting topics here.. i guess we are arguing the inevitable here, the double standard is here to stay. at least in the habesha society.
the how-much-is-too-much question needs to be looked at endeye sewu endeye hunetaw.. am saying this cuz the person who knew me inside out never trusted me. i still would like to believe it’s because of the number of unfortunate incidents in his past (he got played a number of times, so he says) but at the end of the day, he broke my heart and i had to walk away. as one of you guys said it here, if there’s no trust there can’t be true love or true relationship.
ps. selam, i might be the reigning queen here! lol but seriously DCeans aren’t the only one who are so, Torontonians are no better and they tend to skip the get-to-know part pretty quickly and want to ‘get down to business’ betam tolo lol what can you do eh?
I mean where do you get to meet a nice habesha with common sense? so far all the habesha men i met are judgmental, stupid, 30′s and still clubbing three nights a week, and assume everything i said is a lie…
Selam
Have you ever consider girls? When i was a teen I was a bit awkward fara type. We lived in the country side with nothing much going on. So we were close with neighborhood teens. My next door had a girl my age. We got to be close and we spend all our days playing sports.
Then i started going around their home. Next thing i know i am spending the night in her bedroom. I was a fara teenager i didn’t know anything. So that first night i went to her it was shocking she was all over me we kissed all night and embraced. She went back to south America. So now in my 20s i can honestly say i go to lesbian gatherings and i enjoy spending the night with them. Something about the girls completes my soul they have the ability to understand me. Even the way they physically connect with me is much deeper than the men.
I am not sure if i am lesbian though.
Geni,
What do you expect? Do you think an angle will come down and tell you that you are a lesbian? You are doing all the things a lesbian do…so dame sure u are one good lesbo.
Selam,
“yata lemagn tesadbo yehedal”
betam yeselechegn teret teret….please stop bitching around?!
witness, people like u never cease to astonish me. you said that bernos is not ur cup of tea but yet you are wasting your time bulshiting on the one blog you didn’t seem to be interested. WHY?
i guess in a way clubbing is still considered the only way to meet yr folks.. unless you live/work in tehsame locale where else do you meet them? … may be the men in herr can give some pointers! oh and being selective matat
women who have casual sex are shallow and cheap in my opinion .They don’t know how to delay gratification by exercising their grey cells .basically they jump into physical intimacy coz they don’t have much to offer .I know this for a fact ppl .
Wurgatu
sorry witness, may be i understood this incorrectly.
you Rock!!!!!
ewnet, ewnethin new?!
Wergatu…u go man…I see u r on a roll…:)
Mamo said “yata lemagn tesadbo yehedal”
Yatahut the good/decent habesha men, but the losers(including you)are everywhere and like i said i rather be single than being with your kind (loosers), i hope u get this.
Genet,
I dont want to try with girls because I’m not a lesbian, i like men.
I’ll take my time to find my men, until then, i’ll have to control my self because my tebleth yemanem mechawocha aydelechem. I like to have sex with someone i have feeling for, that’s all. Thanks for the advice.
nolawi
i feel like you are a cosmo man lol ……The metrosexual type who think that nothing is off limits .this post stands out to be a tired and debari topics rampant on the shelves of every store here ewneten new if you ran out of topics do ask some of your fellow bloggers to contribute a topic with class and substance.
BTW whatever happened to the habesha women’s humility ???????some of you girls are confused and impatient.stop disrespecting your body and souls too for that matter .
No amount of therapy can fix that.
Wow! I like how the writer encourages the sluts to make them feel better whenever they are having casual sex.
This has to be definitely from some one who is a sex addict or a serial sexual guy who likes to jump on every girl he wants. This is the way to convince them whenever they feel guilty, eh? Girls, please be aware that such kind of guys trully believe girls as a sex tool and smart serials addicts tell you that it is ok and have fun with casual sex and you are not slut. “Yasafiral”
The funny part, casual sex, love, trust; how can anyoen combine these words.
EWNET, EWnet Bilehal….but nice try. Trust me! You can’t change anything here.
That may be the reason Witness is back.
I really think casual sex has a slow, subtle and powerful negative impact on your ability to forge successful long term relationship both for men and women but more so for women.
It may not be easy to avoid with the way life is these days but I think ppl like Selam fair better at succeeding in long-term relatioships.
My 2 cents
Anonx,
I think you missed my point.
Point: Nolawi, please proofread your articles.
LOL @ toothpick. absolutely missed the point. I agree with the first and second
On a different note: Article about the soccer tournament and mention of Bernos;
To name a few, there were the young man who produced a movie called The Man of Millennium (Tikher Tefera ). Temesgen the Begna and Kirar player who has produced four CD’s, and Tsehay that publishes many books on Ethiopia. There was a nice authentic Ethiopian portrait design by Bernose.org.
http://www.ethiomedia.com/all/6231.html
Toothpick, you are too hillarious!!!
Nolawi, I agrree with him. You should proof read better. Per say is what gets me the most, it is spelled per se. Woman for women etc… (sorry I am a little anal that way – no pun intended)
Mamo…
“yata lemagn tesadbo yehedal”
LOL that’s really funny!
But I’m sure that’s a sentiment from both ends
I couldn’t wait around to find a man. I have to keep it real. AT 22 I am too old to wait around for a man who most ladies are waiting for. Yes, their are lesbians who are natururally so. But those of us like myself are not we just get together because we don’t believe there is a man out there. Basically the men fall too short of our expectations. So we provide eachother emotional and physical satisfaction.
Also most of the girls are very manly they wear nice sexy masculine outfits, they walk around just like guys.
Everything about the girls is masculine they also fulfill all my emotional needs as well as sexual needs.
Ladies waiting for your fantacy men good luck to yall. But i am satisfied where i am living in the moment.
Bernos guys, just stopped by to give you props.. I just saw the Bernos piece on Medill. Neat!
http://news.medill.northwestern.edu/washington/news.aspx?id=95167
LOL Genet,
i don’t know what kinds of guys you have been hanging out or dating. it is a damn shame that non of the guys you dated gave you the satisfaction you needed to make you go out with girls instead.
anyway, it is a free country and it is absolutely your choice to go out with anyone you wish. but i think you seem to give up hope on guys so soon.
Yes I do need to proofread I agree… most of the time I write and just post…
on the other hand some of the things you guys think is grammar is not really a grammar issue… i intetionally use words not properly structured…
how sad that we’ve lost faith on our habesha stallions
proofreading can be done by more than one person, no?
what’s the point of talking details about past lovers with a current one? unless it’s medical history? everything else has ZERO to do with anyone outside the two in the relationship..it’s all about some strand of ego that needs stroking, horn that needs tooting or void that needs filling..
and since it’s SOOO difficult! to remove the slut tag from women who choose to have sex when not in a relationship, inorder to make it a fair world to both sexes, can’t we just start callin dudes “sluts” for the same choises? might catch on faster..
Yachilej
I agree. It’s sad this is what our people have reduced themselves. Immorality and no fear for God.
Betam yasazinal
hey guys do you think you will be opening stores in Australia or that your shirts will be available here? please say yes, i dont trust online purchases.
anywho nice job guys well done.
Ayie Witness..
i agree however at the same time at least they are being honest i’ll give them that. plus there are people out there doing things that are way worse.
ah omg this is funny. lol it automatically changes my itme of comment to US time. for a sec i was thinking hang on a sec i didnt comment onthe 23rd at 7:59 its 24th at 10:01! lol i’m such a child
LOOOL Mamo! Betam temechehegn. Wegih mud alewu. Mut!
you should not try to type amharic in english it makes no sense buddy!
” witness, How do I receive the gift of salvation? ha” July 18,2008
Dear Kita FirFir
Salvation comes by believing in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour. God Loves you and has a plan for your life. You can know God personally through His Son Jesus Christ.
You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer
Prayer is talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. The following is a suggested prayer: But you can use your own words or any language.
“Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of the throne of my life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be.”
If this prayer expresses the desire of your heart, then you can pray this prayer right now and Christ will come into your life, as He promised.
I have also included some Bible scriptures for you. This will help you find out more about salvation and God’s Love.
I hope I’ve answered your question. Thank you and God bless you.
(1) John 3:16 (NIV); (2) John 10:10; (3) Romans 3:23; (4) Romans 6:23; (5) Romans 5:8; (6) 1 Corinthians 15:3-6; (7) John 14:6; (8) John 1:12; (9) Ephesians 2:8,9; (10) Revelation 3:20
Witness:
Just curious exactly when did you get “saved” and prior to being “saved” what was your life like? Be honest. You seem to have this passion to preach about God/Jesus and the bible. So what’s your story? Sometimes understanding why you are the way you are may help people see things your way.
There are some serious Atheists here so how does you preaching the bible supposed to teach them about God?
Btw I am religious and I do believe in God but I rarely come across someone like you who wants to force feed religion to strangers.
this is all interestin. i symphatize with the girl who has not had sex for six months but i am sure she will symphatize with me more since i am a fuckin virgin. its more like a curse now. what ever happened to abesha old school menamen astesaseb. I am not this way b/c i want to but just like one of the bloggers I can’t sleep with someone that i am not madly in love with. maybe i got it backwards but anyways bezhi aynet i will be the actress playing the 40yr old virgin part 2.
hilarious and yet pathetic
lol gudit,how old are you now?
that’s an amusing oxymoron
ere bezum aydele, too busy bein responsible.
p.s witness I apologize:-)
when is gang rape funny?
when debbie does the south side crips, and sucks them dry.
LOL! Dude you are so funny.
“Maybe you can show me what you have learned in the ‘land of experience,’ just don’t gag and tie me.” lol and
“I don’t want to wonder if the smirk on the guys face that came up to us to say hello is caused by the his memories of the night you spanked him.”
Those lines had me Rolling!!
Real talk I would say stay away from hoes like Benjamin Franklin once said “He that lies down with dogs riseth with fleas”
-peace
labelling a girl a slut is so passe and frankly quite fara, its all good to protect yourself but every girl you meet isnt necessarily going to want marriage from you or fall head over heels in love. She may just want to have fun and when she wants to settle down ,she will refrain from being so open. Just like you are using her for 5 months, but its double standard, I think her honesty speaks for itself and you should learn from that it doesnt mean shes a slut she just knows what she wants
does anyone have any game jokes? I could’t help myself with this one so sorry in advance… what do you call a Nintendo Wii in Fance? A Nintendo Yes!
Cheers for the material. I found it extremeley useful and look forward to seeing your posts in the future. Fantastic website.