Chebsi Love I 39 Comments

candle

I have been a reader of Bernos blogs for quite some time. I enjoy most of the writings here. I have always entertained the idea of submitting a piece but always fell short of this ambition. Part of it is my Mechem yeMaylakekegn sInfinA and the other part is finding a suitable topic that fits the regular Bernos tAdaMiwoch.

I wanted to submit a piece on fiqir and wutinQir in America but my very few and boring romantic adventures don’t qualify me as an expert on fiQirology. Nevertheless, I have a very long, on and off, sometimes steamy, sometimes frigid relationship far from romance that make me an expert in the fields of ChebsiOlogy. It is a long tale of a romantic relationship with a girl whom I first knew as Chilach.

I don’t remember the exact day when we embarked on this long and lasting relationship with her. But I clearly remember the first time I fell in love with her. I was probably 13 and she was just a small little draft Chilach sitting alone on the cooler of the local Tennis Kibeb. I was perspiring and extremely dehydrated from the tennis I have been playing all day long. When I saw her and she saw me in that AC deprived hot lounge, it was love at first sight.

Our eyes twinkled like the stars in heaven. At that instant, she wanted to be inside of me as much as I wanted to be on her. Later in life a doctor would tell me that it was a match made in heaven. I sneaked her out under my sweat soaked shirt and took her to the locker room where I meChelet her in a moment of a breath. Never have I witnessed my Timat quenched to that level of satisfaction. Neither had she been drank and enjoyed to that level. From that day on, I started kissing Chilach every time I see her around and threw some mastika to mask off our steamy affair.

For two years we had this relationship going on behind the scenes and behind the scolding public eyes. But after two years, the small kiss and go affairs were neither cutting it for her nor for me. She wanted me to express my love on a grand scale. Once she even muttered: “why do you always do me beMetadef? Do you have another wuShma you need to go to? And why do you hide me behind the most inconceivable places once we are done? Do I maSafer you this much?”

I had to sit and calm her by telling her that I do these things because my parents and other peoples do not approve of our relationship at this age. I told her: “People think you need to be dating older men and when these old cats see you with a young boy like me; they realize how far time has passed them and how fast the curtains of life are closing up. So if they see us, they will tell my parents and persuade them to give me the aLenga treatment.”

By age 15, Chilach nagged me so much that I realized it was time to enter the second phase of our relationship. After discussing my relationship chiGiroch with my partners in crime who were also in the same business of dating girls like Chilach we decided to up the ante. It was formally agreed that we need to take our dates to a public but inconspicuous bar to satisfy the increasing demands of our girls. It was supposed to be a group date where everyone brings his girl and introduces her to the party. These group dates and parties were to be financed by selling our videogames and hand games which we now considered yeLijoch eQa and household materials like Movie cassettes, auto tires and the extremely coveted balestras highly sought by the crooning sefer hustlers, the Quralews.

The first date was on a broad Saturday afternoon, when chewa liJoch were splurging their weekly allowance on hamburgers and leSlasa at Bole Mini; me and my partners in crime were next door at Kumel splurging our money on our dates. The first time I saw draft Chilach there; fully dressed in a robe emblazoned with the word Meta, her face shining like gold and a white foamy hat on top; I felt the ting of love spark from our very first encounter two years ago. She was happy to see me there and also felt comfortable around her friends: Awash Wine, Baro Gin and Ouzo Areqi who always ended up the day with her man crushing her on the floor.

We always told him that he was aBishowam and Areqi was not his type of girl. He never listened. Later on in life, His insistence on 2% milk and abstinence from Doro Wot to ameliorate his cheguara was to become a sad reminder of this unhealthy romance he had with her. It was fun while it lasted though. When our girls were around, the crew was the liveliest crowd in the bar. It was full blown laughter with crude jokes flying pampered by insightful discourses on topics ranging from the hottest kemis spotted at the recent school carnival to the latest kureja techniques developed at Menen and how to employ it in our school.

When the heat level with the girls rose up; we swooped them up from the table and danced up and down without spilling a single drop defying every laws of gravity known to man. In the midst of that heat, I sometimes flirted with other girls and Chilach, now Meta Draft deeply resented me for that. Once I kissed Baro Gin two times while Chilach was not watching but when we got in bed and Chilach found out that Baro had been in the bedroom before her she made me spit everything from Qurs to Erat. That was her way of telling me not to mess around while I am going out with her. And she told me never to belittle her full grace by calling her chilach. From that day on, her first name became Meta Draft and her last name beKezKaza Jumbo birChQo.

Meta and me had an up and down relationship like any normal relationships. Sometimes, she gets the best of me and at other times I get the best of her. Sometimes in the midst of heat she makes me do and say stuffs I would not normally do. One time, on a crispy fasika wazema night, when selamawi hizb went to church to repent their sins; I went to join the crew at Kumel to indulge in the debauchery with my girl Meta and her friend Baro Gin who was now dating more than two of my friends. I always repulsed at the presence of Baro in the group ever since that fateful day where I ended up with my head in the toilet bowl for a good 15 minutes. As much as I despised her, my friends loved and adored her and never missed a chance to sing along the tunes of “Gin and Juice” like choir boys singing “Joy to the World”.

After spending that gleeful fasika wazema night at Kumel we decided to take the girls out to a different spot in light of that wonderful occassion. But the forefechiw Toyota weYane was to spoil this fun when she declared empty in her gas tank. Before any plan to get benzin in a jerikan from the nearest gas station could materialize; Meta and Baro got the best of our judgments to abandon the meKina and get a contrat taxi to get to Dany Bar or else they would start cooling down. The term coined for this mode of operation was to be known as moodu saYkeZekiZ. This mode of operation came back to sting us later on in the morning when we found the car with its headlights savagely pulled out from their sockets by some neighborhood thieves. That fasika afternoon was spent in the dirty slums of sumaleterra haggling prices over our own stolen headlights that they want to sell back at some ridiculous price. I didn’t speak to Meta after that day. The silent treatment only lasted a week though…

To be continued…

39 Responses to “Chebsi Love I”


  1. 1 Z-House

    Nice work Mikematic! That was impressive. You should post more of your work.

  2. 2 Ted

    Geez, you took me back to those good ol days. That was funny as hell!

    These group dates and parties were to be financed by selling our videogames and hand games which we now considered yeLijoch eQa and household materials like Movie cassettes, auto tires and the extremely coveted balestras highly sought by the crooning sefer hustlers, the Quralew.

    My fave j/k about Quralews is, there is this kid who goes by the name Surafel, and he sells all kinda household stuff to Quralews. Later on, his parents found out about their son’s “inappropriate behavior”. His dad has actually noticed this pattern that every time a Quralew passes by the neighborhood (if you recall, they usually shout the word, “Quraleeeewww” out loud), the kid takes out stuff with him and comes back into the house like in 10 to 15 minutes. Dad was so outraged by this, and one day when the Quralew does his regular round in the hood, dad steppes out of the house and he goes ‘sema mene Quraleeewww telaleh, Surafel betelew yemetal aydel endie’….I thought that was funny:-)

    The first date was on a broad Saturday afternoon, when chewa liJoch were splurging their weekly allowance on hamburgers and leSlasa at Bole Mini; me and my partners in crime were next door at Kumel splurging our money on our dates.

    My boys and I had a lot of those Saturday afternoon dates at Kumel while we were in highschool. We actually used to call it Bekee bet, tho. I think gash Bekele was the owner back then. That meta draft had a luscious bite to it. It was fruity from start to finish…

    Nice read!

  3. 3 Dinich

    haggling prices over our own stolen headlights that they want to sell back at some ridiculous price.

    That is hilarious….

  4. 4 Nolawi

    Our eyes twinkled like the stars in heaven. At that instant, she wanted to be inside of me as much as I wanted to be on her.

    do you mean inside of her?

    ahaha great story great writing.. beka genius!

  5. 5 Mikematic

    Thanks all for reading and enjoying. I hope to use this as an inspiration to jump start my slothful Qit.
    Ted, you sound like one of the Kumel regulars. If you mazewter the spot during the 95-99 era we probably crossed path – in a drunken stupour :-) . That Quralew joke was funny. I had a similar friend who was a regular with Quralew and when the Quralew passes by his house, he always put his mouth in the small rift between the gate and stone wall and screams at the top of his lung “QOR QORO YALEEEEEEEW”. He does that a couple of times too.
    Nolawi, ante balege – why do you want to get into the technicalities of being on or in her ? I thought I was being subtle there :-) btw, thanks for putting the graphical aesthetics to it. shamaw bE draft birChQo bihon yimeret neber but shot glass does the trick too – considering the characters in the saga I plan to share…

  6. 6 beshou

    love it!!
    finally, the ppl get to read your writings! great storytelling and i can’t wait to read part 2 :)

  7. 7 wudnesh

    hahahha! banatih post part2 tolo!

  8. 8 Totit

    Hey…what an entertaining read! Goodness, now I know the story behind all the books I had to rebuy!!!! My brother had a thing for books…i.e. of course after he run out of things to sell to the QuorQoralew….I remember I had to hide books from him…otherwise they will disappear at the speed of light…and I had to go search for them in front of stadium…I had to BeAraTa borrow money from all the house hold including my littl’ brother and sister….begging the serategna and the zebegna…Then It would be …Egzaberye…please let me get there before someone else buy it….plllleeeeeaaaasssseee…What a long Taxi ride it would be….and once I find the book, I had to act disinterested, so the price wont be jacked up….hummmmm…what a stressful time it was…

  9. 9 Doro Mata

    just brills!

    more please :)

  10. 10 zgent

    Reminds me Limeneh Tadesse’s skit “Teshe biretu”. nice read.

  11. 11 Mikematic

    Thanks for the appreciation all. I will try to put in the next installment in due time. Totit, Im sorry your books had to become sseMeatat for your brothers chibesa :-)

  12. 12 Tsegure

    Really nice read. Very talented.

  13. 13 kay

    hahaha @ sseMeatat……betam funny neh.I can’t wait for part 2.

  14. 14 Totit

    What does sseMeatat means? somebody pleeaaassee….

  15. 15 addisua leg

    wow talk about explicit. call me traditional or out of touch but i did not such steamy shit happened among abeshas back then. the new generation is a different story of course, but interestin story.

  16. 16 spacefog

    Totit

    If I am not mistaken ´´Seemeata´´ was used in the ´´Martyrs ´´sense´

    I don´t like this posting at all. I felt the same way some of you felt about the posting ´Habesha Massage Parlour´ a few months back.

  17. 17 Tsegure

    Spacefog: Are you a virgin or do you find sex to be dirty?

  18. 18 helen

    Spacefog

    I don´t like this posting at all.

    It is truely in the eye of the beholder isn’t it? I thought it was great. I am looking forward to part II.

  19. 19 spacefog

    Tsegure

    I don´t have to be a virgin to not like this post.I totally don´t find sex dirty. I guess as Helen said above ´´Its just in the eyes of the beholder´´

  20. 20 ammanu

    i miss those days, when bars in bole were small and very few and u kinda knew most of the people. good stuff mike.

  21. 21 filetew kuretew

    Tsegure
    It is actually ” in the eye of the BEERHolder.” You may be underage to understand this blog. I think we can all agree if you are under 17 and reading this blog, it will maater you ende kumta
    Excellent blog mike

  22. 22 filetew kuretew

    Sorry tregure, the post was to spacefog

    It is actually ” in the eye of the BEERHolder.” You may be underage to understand this blog. I think we can all agree if you are under 17 and reading this blog, it will maater you ende kumta
    Excellent blog mike

  23. 23 Mikematic

    Sorry if the “explicit” nature of this work offended anyone. It was not intentional. Ever since they stopped yaan ye Decency award, I know my mouth has gone liQ :-( .

  24. 24 lilye

    I think Spacefog is taking it literaly… about your love & encounters with a woman, or many of them for that matter.

  25. 25 spacefog

    My God PPL,

    Can´t I just not like this post ?

    …Who says I am offended, taking it literaly or holding beer or Kumta minamin …I just didn´t like this post.

  26. 26 ye-inatu-lej

    Loved it! Great work, brought back memories.

  27. 27 ye-inatu-lej

    Loved it! Great work.

  28. 28 Dinich

    If u can relate to this article you are either duriye, ex-duriye or somehow affiliated to a duriye such as Totit who is affiliated by virtue of having a duriye brotha.

    As an ex-duriye I look forward to part II…

  29. 29 Wurgatu lij

    what a nice post! i like it.
    i am looooooooooonging to read the second installment soon.

    BTW…i think many waters flew over the dam since you left addis.there is no kumel and dani bar now. there is Red bin, amsterdam, mask bar and etc…though

  30. 30 Seni

    Good work, can’t wait to read the second part

  31. 31 masteeka

    genius! i can’t wait for part 2!!!

  32. 32 Kokebina

    This sure brought back many memories. Kumel used to be the spot back in those days. I left in 96 but we used to frequent there and Roots. I think I had my first alcholic drink at one of the two places.

    Really great times…and a great read, can’t wait to read the second post

    …Please hurry and post the second part

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