Selam Hiz’boche –back at you, once more to lecture about an alarming anxiety.
The Ethio-male, too often are being depicted as struggling to express themselves emotionally in appropriate ways, unable to think and feel at a deeper level, and sometimes not even good at ‘traditional male’ pursuits, including that of professionally and socially outside of the Ethiopian community.
You talk and talk and talk and finally we start believing it as true! They say that Ethio-males have hard time accepting change. Ethio-male still believes that he is in Ethiopia. Ethio-males didn’t integrate in the western society or have hard time doing so socially.
The Ethio-males are god enough for their opposite counter-partner. I have even heard that Ethio-ladies start dating out side the Ethiopian community because that they can’t fully understand what it takes to be with an independent woman.
Sometimes the reinforcing of these negative stereotypes in the community, and society as a whole, can leave men feeling inadequate, uncertain, indecisive, and reluctant to explore new ways of making meaning of their lives as expatriates in a western society.
Most of us here are educated in simple 6 grade arithmetics.
If Abebe does you wrong, it doesn’t equate all Ethio-males as having the negative qualities that are shown in Abebe.
Ethio-ladies have taken the male-bashing to a level where the men can’t even begin to defend themselves. If we have to generalize lets not forget the positives; We Ethio-men look at our females as brothers, we protect them, we empower them, we try to understand them, we are willing to work with them.
I was recently in Ethiopia, and I noticed that the females are going into previously uncharted territory in order to survive in a really deprived country. And the Ethiopian males refer to all females as wondemochachine. It amazing how the Ethiopian males, not only in Ethiopia but also elsewhere in the world, are protective of their opposite sex.
It’s about time the females do their part. We are your wondimochachihu. We are your partners. We are your better half.
It’s about time you empower us, not dispirit us! It’s about time you encourage us, not belittle us!
Published by January 31st, 2007 in Advice.
[quote comment="15282"]
I honestly enjoyed the sincerety in this article…my favorite line being:
because it was reassuring to me…
And if it is true that guys hear it from everywhere and internalize it…then they are not just overlooking the issue …but acknowledging that it may exist…
As a an “Abesha-male-basher”, I know we generalize!! The real honest truth about WHY I talk talk talk about it….is that I’m honestly worried about it…For ME.[/quote]
i do not get the point of this posting . . .can any one explain?
Are you refering to habesha as a closed-community . . . or you mean habesha males should go to atlanta and get down . . …other wise they are not integrated…that doesnot make you smarter, does it?
If people come over here, join the system, configure themselves in the settings, make money, educate themselves and learn something, send money home, go home and invest, go home and transfer knowledge, . . . that is what we should do man! You still can get down in Addis or Woldiya, that is not what we lack!
That is how the asians made it man . . .they came here and learnt something, sent money home, invested and the brightest ones saw some thing that they can take home . . and now we see all those jobs in the west shifting to india and china.
Saleqa, [quote comment="15289"]i do not get the point of this posting . . .can any one explain?
[/quote]
It seems you completely lost the point! very funny
if wondata uses terms “gender bashing” “ethio-males”… he is comparing genders.. speaking to the other gender… Ethio ladies…
I didn’t think there is anything ambiguous about this post
I’m lost you Wondata.
I got the point of the article.. I do admit to bashing Ethio Males.. Maybe there is an imbalance and we dont have as many choices and you guys do..meaning there is a lot more beautiful, succesful Ethiopian woman than Ethiopian men! Ooops there I go again! Never mind!!
WONDATA!!! THREE EXCLAMATION MARKS.
Being an Ethiopian Male, I find it disturbing at times when ethiopian ladies generalize and bash on all Ethio-male as ONE.
I don’t try to defend myself nor do I even give it the time of the day to do so. That’s how she feels, then that’s how she feels. I don’t ask questions in that regard. But I certainly feel sorry for her for she doesn’t know or have no fuckin’ clue of what she is talking about.
Thanks wondata for bringing this out. clever I say.
By the way, Wendata..no offence for my earlier comments. I was in a hurry when I read your posting and a bit annoyed when reading about the integration thing … which you actually mentioned as part of the stereotypes . . .
I now see that it is all about the ‘EMANICIPATION of HABESHA MEN’ in the habesha community…it is sarcastically funny . . .no kidding…
But, the way you attack these sterotypes, i believe is not by asking for mercy or for the girls indinkebakebun but actually by convincingly attacking the stereotypes themselves. You see, you mentioned the sterotypes but you didnot really say they are wrong except saying that they are generalisations…does that mean you think they are true? what if there are many Abebe’s in the habesha male community? That means the stereotypes are true and all we can do is to ask for mercy . . .was that the approach?
But again, yeah, your approach could also be one way … saying like ignas man alen . . .wendimochachihu nen…kene tatachin/koshashachin ikif arigachihu tekebelun…
And Nolawi, my name is Shaleqa, not Saleqa.
Thanks anyway!
I am sorry shaleqa, I will fix the spelling
Interesting point you bring up here, if I may defend this post, since he doesn’t usually comment here
he does not have to disprove the stereotype at all, I think just the fact that its a generalization is negative enough
mind you I in the past have said that generalizations are true to a certain extent but from what I deduce here what I believe wondata is saying it that we are just concentrating on the negatives of the Abesha men…
and that is trully wrong, if it indeed is true… and I coheartedly believe it as a fact that Ethiopian men are not shed in a positive light –as if to say we can’t assimilate in the western society…
Females are becoming independent and we men can’t handle it.. yebalale..
Nolawi,
These are the stereotypes we read and what you are saying is partly true,
I believe if there are stereotypes, they either have to be
1. healed if they are true (discussion could be part of the healing process) or
2. attacked and cleared out of our mind as negative stereotypes . . .
I donot see inability to assimilate into western society as a failure. May be it depends on how we define assimilation. But for the professional assimilation into western society of male habeshas, it is actually gender-less issue.There are many strong communities that have assimilated professionally but still not considered as if they have assimilated in other visible scenarios!
Some cultural issues need to be healed ,i agree with that. But honestly, looking at the general picture, i wouldnot really worry about cultural assimilations – to be honest, i am happy and pretty much satisfied with my values. Gojji bahilochin masiweged doesnot necessarily mean assimilating into western society -in fact it could possibly mean the other way round!
But the words of wondata quoted above – ” unable to think and feel at a deeper level” are deplorable and i havent heard these stereotypes so far. If anybody says that to any habesha man, i am not ready to tolerate!
I don’t get why people don’t understand how we are created. Many of you might disagree with me but it is not an habesha thing. Okay…what is the difference between an habesha , African-american , Japanese or Indian man. They are all the same. If you go back and read your 6th grade history book, It says the man go hunting and the female prepare the food. I am not saying that we have to go to that extreme but thru generation that mentality still exists. So, it boils down to compromising and communication to one each other.
When I was dating an Habesha Neurosurgeon, people thought I was going to have an ego problem because she is rich and smart. That did not bother both of us, when she come to the house she was still a female, she cooks I clean, I do the car and the house, she do the shopping. Sometimes we exchange roles but that not a problem. So even if you go to different culture the role is the same, with a little change. So habesha setoch get over that crap, maybe all the habesha wondoch that you are close to are narrow minded and get out of that circle…
There problem here is that we have come to america and our standards for the most part have become westernized or americanized which ever you wish. Now I do not want to lump everyone into this category but for the most part it is true. we can’t deny the fact the tv magazine opra dr phil and the other wonderful tv personalities have changed the way an ethiopian woman looks at her counter part. I f an ethiopian man does not conform to those standards he is back ward unwanted un educated and so on. But in reality many ethiopian women have taken those standards set by other “cultures” and have tried to apply it with in their own comunity their men.
Don’t get me wrong I like my women independant hard working loving and “ethiopian”. Whats the point of dating an ethiopian just in name when all other aspects of her are foreign to me (westernized). If I wanted that I just go marry a girl from colombia, might I add they are very very beautiful, but that’s not the point is it or is it.
Wondataye….RIGHT ON!
Love the part;
You are right…you are our better half more often than not and although I don’t do male-bashing period..as a principle…I believe there is an abdu kiar song that goes;
I still LOVE my Abesha Men!
I wish we could just stop judgin and blamin one another, and allow the heart to do it’s job.
One problem…
The article appears to be addressing Abesha setoch…but in my opinion, the forum for dialogue is limited by the approach it takes.
On second thought…let’s hear what the guys have to say…
The generalizing thing is in every culture and not just in the Abesha women…I do have to admit though that Abesh men are, from what I know, really good to their women….thanks Abesha guys!
Abesha guys do complain and generalize too….atadergum ende enante? Belu tenageru!
Well thank you baby, ethio males do complain but not to the extent of the woman. I believe.
from an ethio-male:
Nolawi, what you wrote above is nothing but b@llsh*t!
Ethio-females should have major issues with ethio males.
We have not appriciated them enough and we have a long way to go!
Tadios.
I find this issue interesting. I remember not too many months ago when there was a lot of women bashing done on this site many jumped on the waggon. I don’t know whether this means Bernos has a lot of men participants or that the female participants are cordial.
I think I may have a few things to say about the subject:
1. From what I have observed so far I have learned that it is easier for an Ethiopian woman to break into the professional work force in America. This could probably because it is generaly hard to be a black man in America or because the Ethio men have an ego issue to overcome or a combination of both. That results in an inbalance, more professional Ethio women than men and thus creating a difficulty in the dating world and eventualy in Ethiopian marriages in America.
2. There is a big generational gap between our parents and us, add the cultural gap to that and you have a huge problem. The Ethio men expect the women to do most of the work in the house because THAT IS WHAT THEY SAW THEIR MOMS DO. Add the Doctor Phil and Oprah factor to it,and you have a huge problem.
Advice from Mamitu: Wash some dishes, change a few diapers here and there, …
3. There is a huge communication problem in our community in general. And relationships in require being able to have an open communication between the parties involved. It is often times more difficult for Ethiopian men to communicate with their partners than the women not because there is something inherently wrong with Ethiopian men but because it is easier for women to adapt to a new environment better than a man.
4. The other thing I find in Ethiopian relationships is control issue. Most Ethi men want to control their partners to the point that it saffocates the women. If they want a satisfying relationship the men have to learn to let the women have a space of their own.
Apart from that most Ethi men are commited to their partners and their kids which is a great plus.
Phew now I will be taking the Filatsas thrown my way.
Yenantew Mamitu
Mamitu:
“Ethio men expect the women to do most of the work in the house because THAT IS WHAT THEY SAW THEIR MOMS DO” that is not what men thinks that’s part of nature in every culture. Are you willing to shovel the snow, work on cars or cook? If you are one of the females who want to shovel 5:30 in the morning, I will definitely cook full breakfast every morning.
That’s a definite first, uncharted territory for an Ethiopian male on Bernos!
[quote comment="15438"]from an ethio-male:
Nolawi, what you wrote above is nothing but b@llsh*t!
Ethio-females should have major issues with ethio males.
We have not appriciated them enough and we have a long way to go!
Tadios.[/quote]
Mamitu…
It is not that bernos women are being cordial… I think the tone of the article rather than laying down a platform for dialogue sets up an offensive. I apperciate the fact that some of our Ethiomen are actually getting the message!!!! Because all the male-bashing would be worth it if they realize that there are Ethiopian women who would love some change from what has been and what still is.
I think Abesha men do their fair share of Abesha-women bashing. One thing I have noticed is that when men or women bash the opposite sex, their significant other is always excepted, a special case better than all the rest. Maybe we keep on telling ourselves that the rest of the world is worthless to reassure our selves that we have made the correct choice in our partners?
But on a more serious note, it has been shown that at least in the US, professional workplaces are a lot more open to women of color than to men of color, so it is no surprise that Abesha men could suffer slightly as compared to abesha women (probably less so in technical fields). Abesha men may still fair better than their other black brethern. This may mean that there is some truth to the Abesha men bashing on the part of women, but also that in some ways it is out of our (men’s) control.
I think the answer is in the question. There is a lack of self respect and confidence in both gender. Stop thinking the grass is green in the other culture. It is not. Love yourself. Appreciate what you have. See the good in people. And embrace the not so good. Don’t set a too high expectation (requirements to be happy) which will leave you in disappointment when you can’t achieve it. Be content. Decide what is most important to you and go for it. Beauty, intelligent, family, religion, integrity, money. You can’t have it all. Remember if you didn’t achieve any of those, don’t expect it from the other person. It all comes down to respect for yourself, your culture and your people. Now good luck in finding that person who is not so beutiful in other people’s eye but is so beautiful in every sense of the word to YOU.
I think African men and women in general go through different kinds of adjustments in the west. Change for an African woman usually comes in the form of opportunity. Women come to this country and the are free to do whatever used to be culturally unacceptable/unsupported/discouraged back home.
For men adjustment comes in the form of more responsibility, traditions of discrimination and a little ‘loss’ of traditional ‘respect’ from African women. Like women, opportunities for career and education come easier for African men, but so do picking up chores in the house, cleaning and cooking. For men who get to the West past adulthood, they also have to get used to the idea of not having the final word. Yup, yup .. woman talk loud and proud here!
So, expected behavioral adjustments for women seem positive and supportive while for men, in the eyes of the culture we come from, they are more restraining and a tad diminutive. At the end of they day, both genders have to go through their own struggles. Women probably struggle more in the work place like men do at home. Ethiopian women tend to be quiet and timid, less willing to venture into traditionally male fields, etc. And if a female has difficulties in school with something like engineering, there’s a tendency to say, ‘lemin lela field atmokrim … nursing ayshalshm?’. WTF!?! If a woman speaks out too much, she’s muTi, moTmwaTa, afegna, negeregna, etc.
If it seems that Ethiopian women complain a lot about the rather slow adjustment of Ethiopian men, it’s because their grievances usually relate to things that take away from a woman’s new found opportunities. A man’s slow adjustment invariably always ends up being the woman’s burden. So, yes, the genders fight.
Unfortunately there’s no solution to the problem at home but for men to catch up with the game. They say, “behind every strong man there is a strong woman”. Well then, behind every strong woman there has to be a strong man. If men can remember that all the uncertainties they feel at home are uncertainties that women feel and have to deal with elsewhere, and the women remember vice versa, then maybe we can all try to be supportive and understanding of each other’s struggles to build a happier, stronger Ethiopian Diaspora.
I think.
You ladies just just amaze me,
mamitu
I sincerely hope you don’t actually believe this as true..
there are more Ethio professional, I think the imbalance is integrating into society culturally as opposed to professionally.
The sense of coming to America gives woman empowerment.. and more power to them for that… gin it doesn’t mean Ethio men are lacking anything…
[quote comment="15537"]I think Abesha men do their fair share of Abesha-women bashing.
[/quote]
they might also bash, but not to the extent the woman do…
and at the End Ethio men stay by the ethio lady.. we can’t conclude the vice versa…
Tadios, I didn’t write the article but I think you need to look at a better sampling of Ethio community before you make such a blanket statement
[quote comment="15548"]I think the answer is in the question. There is a lack of self respect and confidence in both gender. Stop thinking the grass is green in the other culture. It is not. Love yourself. Appreciate what you have. See the good in people. And embrace the not so good. [/quote]
fair assessment I think…
atleast you can see that both genders need to work on supporting eachother…
I sincerely hope the rest of you ladies open your eyes… and encourage your brothers!
while I am all for division of labour as it pertains to efficiency, I don’t think it is a sencere arguement to say its just xx or xy bashing. The blame game can be one viscious circle b/c there is enough of it to go around, even though it is obvious that the bulk of incriminating behavior will have been that of Abebe.
but these behaviours were not learned in one fell swoop, and it would be utopian to wish them away by the snap of one’s fingers.
“bad habits die hard” so ladies come on give Abe a lil more time, after all, we’ve come thus far haven’t we?
Most of you Ethio-males really suck. Most of you are alcoholics and chain smokers. Yack!! You need to start questioning the reasons why we bash you Ethio-men so much.
First start by talking classes from real western men to be real. You guys don’t know anything about romance. Everything has to be straight to the bed. Western men understand the differnce between romance and sex. Just because women hug and kiss doesn’t mean i am ready to jump in bed.
I will never date Ethio-males. Most are sexually frustrated. They are insecure about their manhood.
And please before you demand better treatment start by treaking Ethio-females as your equal friend not your brother. Hello are they now males?
dyyyam, mimi. you’re like a habesha … kkk.
Desta or is it Sose…whichever one, if there are no hard feelings, why bring it to the blog.
Back to the topic gin…where the Q..”who does more bashing” is concerned…ere behig, I think women do but it ain’t cos the Abesha Men necessarily do more wrong doings…think about it…guys don’t bash girls cos it’s an ego thing and they’re admitting she got to them…and they most often don’t do that…Women now, they bond over bashing men cos somehow that is a common ground…so it ain’t about who’s bad to who, just that some embrace bashing as a daily thing and others don’t…The way I see it, it’s a communication gap…we can easily solve this by being REAL to eachother…don’t try to give signals, if you got something to say, say it…there ain’t nothing like he should read signals or she should have known…
,
You know what, lets stop all this blaming game right now! Abesha men love thier Abesha women and Abesha women love thier Abesha men….out of all the girls I know, I think I’m the only one who doesn’t mind dating non-abesha guys, all my other friends don’t even want to consider it. Abd even if they do, thier heart is always set on Abesha guys……and the same goes for most of the abesha guys I know……..
So, my point is that you all know you love one another so much that you gotta sabotage it……stop it! Instade of focusing on who complains about whom more, focus on other loving things and topics……hey V-Day is coming, how about some love?
How about what’s the best way to spend V-Day with a special someone? Or tell us some of your stories about V-Day…….common, you know you want to…
I think you are trying to create spin zone, you are labling Ethio man weak and having problem intergrating with other community, because simply we are like to stick with our sisters doesnt mean we dont like change. I have dated other ethincs and been in with relationship for a while, I have been here quite few years, one thing is true Ethio woman test better.
Are we perhaps creating a problem where none exists? Because, in all honesty, I see no reason why ethiopian males will have a much harder time integrating into the US culture than the females do. Some of you have suggested it is easier for women to integrate/adapt to new environments. Are these claims substantiated? or mere self fulfilling prophecies? I think we all have it hard when we first get here. What we do as time moves on is up to us. If ethiopian women are better at integrating than ethiopian males, it is because they try harder. Period. Life is all about choices. Don’t give me the males have it harder crap because that sob story goes for both sexes.
I don’t even think there is a major disconnect between ethio-males and females. Just because a few of us have had some failed relationships, it does not mean there is a general problem afflicted all of us. maybe the issue has nothing to do with ethio males and females. maybe it is a male female thing. or even better, an abebe vs. abebech issue. let us all stop and think twice before we try to classify our individual neurosis and psychosis, insecurities and confusions and failed relationship attemps as problems affecting as all.
and remember when in Rome, do what the Romans do!!
embracing for….
bemegerem
I like the positive perspective here… gin you should know that the males take the grunt of the blame… !
good one bemegerem, yes it is a male and female thing not an ethio-male/female.U look at every ethnicity there is this problem.
It thing this is true.It is a problem that has been identified for black americans: the women are far more succefull than the men in America.It is a topic of discussion for social scientists.The same must be true for ethiopians (may be not at the same extent though).
So it is a complicated issue.We won’t solve it here.
OK, “far more” is exagerated but the income of black women is much closer to their male couterparts for exemple than for the whites.
See this table .
Visitor,
Suppose the entire population of black people was 200 women and 200 men. Now if 100 black women were in the work force, and they each made 50 dollars a week, their median income would be 50 dollars (for the employed). Now lets say only twenty black men worked, and ten made 10 dollars and the other ten made $90, then again the median income for those employed is 50 dollars. But 50% of women are employed as compared to 10% of men. Looking at the median income for those employed doesn’t really tell you anything, does it?
No, it does not on small numbersas you did. It does on great number and black americans are counted by tens of millions.In statistcs, the numbers are telling when you work on sizeable populations..
I am going to agree with visitor on this one…
Ladies it about time you accept what wondata wrote as fact and be a little positive about your male counterparts!
Visitor,
I know this is not the place to discuss statistics, however, the basic hypothesis here is that job access is unequal between black men and women. You are trying to answer that question by saying since median incomes between the two groups are similar, then access must be the same. But median income is independent of access like I tried to show in the simplistic example. Regardless of the number of people you are looking at, you are answering a different question.
K. I see I’ve abandoned the Blog since the Press has been up. As always Wondata love your topics…
Yes I’m one of the conservative ones. Most Ethio Setoch will preach independence but have no idea what the hell it means. They holler equality but couldn’t divide a damn thing into equal parts. The men don’t know which way to turn because we’re confusing the hell out of them. I say cut all that out and be true to your partner. If you can handle doing “the womanly duties” as well as “the manly duties” then more power to you and do them without giving a lot of lip.
We’re not letting the men be men then we’re asking for help around the house and when they cooperative they’re not manly enough. We want romance but don’t know the first thing about returning the favor. We want respect but want to complain about their behavior in return. Why don’t we figure out what we want first and foremost before we start the bashing game?
The men are a lot more flexible to change then we are.
Each gender is independently frustrated and instead of coming together to discuss the root of the frustration we are quick to pick on each other’s weaknesses and run with it like it’s a freaken marathon.
Mimi, I’m just disgusted. You have repeated your ignorant comment several times over several articles but not once have you started to explain what it is you do for Ethio men to make them want you and please you and as you say sexually satisfy you. What the hell are you doing besides giving it up to non-Ethio’s for free? If you’re gonna be that easy at least make a career out of it, don’t you think?
Ethiopians and so called African Americans seem to have a lot in common. A myriad of problems and no solutions.. When will we realize as a people that our problem is spiritual in nature. We really need a personal relationship with the One who created us . Dear Lord Jesus please have mercy on us.
wow beleive in god and your problems are solved…
genius
Tadios Comment # 18
Finally a real man to speak the truth. Most of the so called ” men” can’t handle that reality. What u said was esquisite. WOW big ups 2 u
Believing in Jesus will not actually solve your problems, however, knowing God will give you a better understanding of self and why mankind can be very unkind, selfish, and hateful toward each other. Knowing Jesus helped me to realize that their is no good in me. Any good one sees coming from me, can be totally credited to the Jesus that is within me. When I am truly loving my neighbor, family members, or my enemy, it is truly MY God that is loving through me. By having a personal relationship with Jesus,
I find it a pleasure and a honor to humbly submit myself to others. Jesus was the perfect example of Love and Humility. To simply put it, knowing God provides a different approach to these problems.
Just in case you do not know, I am a Woman. I have discovered that it is only by the power of the Living God that men are empowered. The scripture states that the letter killeth, but the Spirit maketh alive.
Oh, Israel hear the voice of Your God
Well, seems the Abesha ladies took over the site.. All I know is I am going to get me a real lady from overseas, hmm, maybe Ethiopia, or Israeli Ethiopian Jew, and leave these westernized ladies in their office board rooms to have affairs with their big two-timing western boss men. Anyhow, Abesha people work hard and that is respected, but if you going to kneel to Caesar instead of Jesus, you are going to be a Roman not an follower of God. In my opinion Abesha men are the stronger, the women are indulging in the fruit of America and the men still have more respect for the cultural values. The women no longer have any authority and with less discipline will tend to just go for money and prestige and leave the family life behind. This may be a reflection on some of the maltreatment the women endured in the homeland and it can be understood. Its a double edge sword though, since Abesha will now be screwed up lick all the rest of the westerners with a 40% divorce for the whites and like 70% for the blacks. All you Abesha women, enjoy your single motherhood, as it is becoming commonplace.
As said as it is, Abesha men I think your happiness will lie in going back to the homeland get some real women and treat them right, no abuse or hatred. Many Ethiopian American males I know are now doing it! This is the only way for EThio male to be happy. As man was not created for woman, but woman for man. Fight it as you will, its nature, darlings! Even though us American men, pretend not!
Sorry to say, its good the women have a safety net, but a net it is, and they may find the freedom the received may tangle them in the end. By the way, African Americans have major problems, and the loss of their culture and liberation of their women has not necesarily benefited their overall hapiness. Single mothers, drug abuse, crime and violence to name a few.
I give my respect for Ethiopian people for keeping to their traditions and cleaning up many African American neighborhoods, replacing them with safe and culturally rich thoroughfare, but as Westernize creeps in, things may change.
BTW, Not Abesha, Israeli American.. lol
Yonatan, why do I get the sense you asked an Ethiopian woman, living in the US, for her hand in marriage and she said no? Sometimes it’s good to just move on and not vent by saying all Ethiopian women living abroad are the same and AA women are useless. Really try it and you may just become positive one day. lol
How do you know you’re not an Ethio male?
How about the African women who asked me for marriage and I say no?? I was in Africa doing humanitarian work for orphans and widows. I don’t think I ever had so many marriage proposals, and damn, I’m the man. I can be a sweet talker if I like, as most westernized girls, not just Ethio american women, like men who sweet talk and encourage them in their business pursuits. Here in webville I’m free to speak my mind and I encourage my wife to be a feminine woman and not a man. Just because I think the man is the head and the stronger one, doesn’t mean I was rejected by Ethiopian women, that I am fat ugly and disgusting or a reject to society, lol. I just live for Jesus and read the bible and know where I stand. I have confidence, something many men lack. By the way I’m sick of the male bashing, sad that Ethio ladies act just like many other American feminists.
I was just repeating the words of several Ethiopian men I am friends with who despair being househusbands instead of having housewives that they had for 4000+ years. Suddenly, now daddy has to be mommy and mommy be daddy, and my Ethio friends, who are intelligent and hard-working as can be, don’t like the degradation.
Guess what, we are all human beings, and we all have flesh and blood and skin annd ethnicity means jack squat.. I will tell you, I was just saying that cause this is ethio.com.. If I was on a german web site, I would say the same thing about the germanic male. Kuender Ketche Kinder!! That means Church Kitchen and Children in German. The German and Ethio male are both humans.
In Africa, a man cannot enter the kitchen or he is a disgrace. Same in Germany. Guess what, your Ethiopian blood does not make you superior/inferior or so much different than others. Many Ethiopians are in Israel today living the same was as my own people and intermarrying and we are the same people and culture, despite their ethnicity.
Damn Yonatan, who dumped ur ass? nd for the record to know sometin inside out is to be one…if you going to talk about male in general im down with it but just cuz we are…
” Guess what, we are all human beings, and we all have flesh and blood and skin annd ethnicity means jack squat.. ”
…doesn’t make u an expert on us nor know us for you to assume or judge what makes us happy or not… you see, yes you are right on what yo said above but what about culture, moral, respect… nd so on. you cant tell me everytin in German is the same as Ethio just cuz man don’t usualy enter the kitchen…gotta go back to work nd plz leave celebratelife alone…dunno her but i think i have a crush on her
p.s. hodie, u said we should come st8 froward rite, here i come habesh way (still indirect) hahha
hey sidetegaw,
Let me tell you, if you study human culture you will find we have differences but also many similiarities. I am a man, and I would appreciate if you would stop contradicting yourself, as you just brought this point out to. Who am I to say I am expert? I am man, your a man, your not superior to me and I am not superior to you. So, please get off that vibe and understand that us humans have our inherit values. You want to know something, people of every culture have so many simliarities that it sometimes amazes me that we all came from one Father.
In traditional Ethiopian, Jewish, German, English, Indian, Mexican, Chinese and every society man served the role as breadwinner and the leader of the house and woman was the housewife and the one who cared for the chidren. The men would go out fight the wars, work hard jobs of heavy labor to make money and feed the family. Man was the provider and women kept the house in order, she was the nurturer. Suddenly, in the last 30 years every culture must end the way of life they had for thousdands of years, so we can appease the cries of some feminists and homosexuals who believe that raising children in day care facilities and test tubes, will give them the ability to make our children have a better future.
Who dumped me? 200,000,000 fat american women, and thank God, cause I am not another stupid 60% divorce statistic and having my ass sued in court and having my children and house taken from me.
Many Ethio-American men are suckers just like the rest of the faranji men. However, I respect many Ethiopian men I meet who still believe in traditional family and marriage. Many Ethiopian men I have met leave USA and go the village to find their wives, I have had some who treated me like their own brother and will take me to their villages. These people are proud of their heritage and culture and are not ashamed of themselves like so many other Aficans.
Why cannot Africans follow the models of Japanese or other people who are successful in this world, yet didn’t have to throw away their culture to make the Europeans happy! Now, look what you got on this site, Habesha women dissing their men, like they are dirt.. They are behaving the same as the all girls. Unless you stick to your traditions, you are no different then the rest, just different accent and skin color.
Peace
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It is ok to be smart,and i like that.
Our girls think they are smart ,by doing something crazy stuff…
I would say we simply lost our girls…God have mercy.
dating outside the ethio comm.?????
how about a child support with out unemployed father with a over size penies and shiny car?????
Ah, the never tiring and most popular abesha topic. our girls complaining about the guys and the guys complaining about our girls. I thought a book would be out by now about this shit…
that’s a great idea! someone should run with it….! prolly make thousands off of it…
what’s up habesha friends.
let me tell you my side story
there is a habehsa girl i know who claim to be in site love with me which i dont’t like it.the other thing about this miss is she thinks that she is too hot. as a matter fact boht of as work in a same place.by the time i let her know that i am not intersted on her she reported to my bosse that i hursed her.
no matter hot she is i will going to leave her for the negero who dates her and who lives in his grand moms basement.
Ere wegenoch this is simple eko. We ethio-girls would like our ethio-men to treat us with respect, appreciate us, protect us, etc..etc. They, in turn, are asking not to be generalized…and be respected for who they are as individuals. Is that too much to ask?…I mean..seriously!
It’s not like we make ‘em better by bashing them anyway…esti let’s try to be nicer – to each other -beSew ager – know what I mean?! Peace!
I prefer village girls.. they know how to care for their man. City girls only know how to be busy and put a knife in your back. Once you spoil them and give them all benefits of equality, money, housing, they get your credit card and go on their shopping sprees, then they tire of you. What I mean is, a well cultured woman knows how to care for family and respect’s the man authority and that he provides for all. American girl is always concerned about her self-image and how she looks in front of others and will in the end use her man as a means to achieve he own selfish desires. The care of the man means very little for her and she generally will have a man more for aesthetic and financial reasons then any adherence to a moral principle, called spiritual marriage.
American girls, whether Habesha or wherever they come from, my family came from villages in Russia, they are all the same. Never satisfied, very dominating and self-centered. If your life is not centered around her, she feels you neglect her, even though you can be sure her life is not centered around you!
Best wishes all you Ethio-male fellows on your Ethio-woman endeavors. My advice is if your tired of Ethio women, try an Indian one, they come from well cultured society, I think most Africans in general have lost their culture, especially when they come to USA.
Abebe doesn’t equal ethio-males i agree. Easy to say than done. After Abebe there is such a deep anger that needs to be overcome which the new guy doesn’t want to listen about or the new guy may be too judgmental about the fact that I spent over 2 yrs with Abebe with all mess. The new guy will be quick to say “minew lemin? how can one answer that. so that’s why at the moment i am with a girl from Bermuda. She listens and understands why I stayed over 2 yrs the new guy will never understand me.
LOL Genet. i think you have made it abundantly clear that you are a dyke
. but it seems that you have made it a mission to rub it every time you get a chance. don’t be bitter… just move on and enjoy your girl 
it’s me again belatenawe
to be honest when it comes to sex ferenege females they know how to do it from the bottom to top.
the last 2 years i lost serious body weight because of those fereneg girls may be 5 times a night.
they realy like what i my doing to them and they don’t want me to stop.
the most i ilke about those girls is they won’t ask me where i was and where i will be. is’t that quit.
habesh girls they only knows carrying their aguly big ass aroud and nageing.
habesha girls in u.s.a they only suck a penies that looks like a donkeys penies.because they think like a donkey by them self.
girls from other race they don’t do that more often like habesha girls they have resepect for their body.
that’s why ever body jumps on them they are easy for a man to suck his penies.
habebe,
please show some respect to your own people. an ignorant low life like you should be caged with animals and kept in a zoo. Nolawi or someone from bernos should block or ban such blatant trash talk on this blog.
i second dawitm, maybe its time to close this topic, not feeling the crude hate mongering.
If genet didn’t firmly join the other team, people like habebe will definitely push her to the no boys zone lol
dawit does it realy matter to call a bold head person a bold.
most habesha girls are hosptalized suffering from unbalanced sex partner (ye bariya memchya)
so mr. dawit you call those girls to be your future wife.
i don’t think so or you already got one.
do you know that most ethio girls in the u.s.a forced to live a life with out ethio male? already habebe gave an exellent reson i don’t want to say it again.unless if they get luck on a person like dawitm.
brvo habebe you know how to say it.
i will not going to use pennis inlargement pills for the seck of ethio girls in u.s.a because i don’t want loos my future wife in addis.girls in addis they could’t take over such impact from a male.
some times it’s hard to swallow the truth but when it come for real we have to.
ethio females are trapd with an imotional deasese called loose of identity or habesha fobeic which could end up so shortly on their late 20s may be 27. after that their like a bag full of trash.their life cycle is so short like a rose flower.
Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest of all you three!!
“…after that their like a bag full of trash.their life cycle is so short like a rose flower”
That shows, my brother, how insecure, unwise you are. Life is a life. Whether you are 20′s, 30′s ,….. What matters is what you accomplished with it. Are you getting wiser from your experiance as you get older? Hopefuly you do!!!!!
for maria
this is what i mean by the term identity loose ” maria” your name when did you get it? by the time you arrived at los angles air port or dalas air port 5 years ago.
for shinkuret
i can easly guse you are in your 30s.if it’s that so you know what i am taking about. accomplisment is noting for you with out the great ethio males unless if you are intersted on the local blk tugs to stick by giving him his every day pocket money.even ethio males in addis can understand such topices.
alart:use your time @ right time and @ right place.
lol @ pennies
mamitu
your english tanker shows empty.i know gas price is higher this days but not english class.
plant religion dismiss your eye.
for maria
this is what i mean by the term identity loose ” maria” your name when did you get it? by the time you arrived at los angles air port or dalas air port 5 years ago.
that is what I mean. you personify Dumb. identity loose?, wha is it? an identified flying object lost in the space of your imagination?, and what have Los Angeles and Dallas done to you for you to call them los angles and dalas?, shoo shoo Dumb.
maria
i know you are a nagi wife maria.The more you talk the more i hate you.
la de mercy. babelon.
ahadu wasting your valuable energy hating a stranger’s name on a blog makes you Super dumb congratulation on the upgrade.
maria
ok ok i know who you are now.do you remember ricki martins pepsi commersial with the pepsi girl “pepsi maria” 10 years ago.may be you are named after her but the qestion is are you as hot hot hot as she is??????? please????????
or send me your picture.i want get fricken heart attack.
maria you don’t know noting but noting.you are making the image of ethio females much worse in front of the world.
wow some people sound like an ethiopian Don Imus..put the hateraid down..stick to the topic..hate must be the new love wheewww
So, the bottom line is, what is best place in Ethiopia to score with a good mannered Ethiopian lady.. I am tired of these stuck up liberalized hoes who think that because they have a college degree that they proved to mankind how much better and equal they are.. I say, I want a woman to massage my feet at end of day, cook my food and clean my house.. If you don’ like it , then find yourself a woman to marry.. beatch.
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the problem is once habesha start a white or black American man, they will start performing rectal sex, oral sex, and different sick way of life. before dating this people, they do not known any of this things b/c Ethiopian culture is very different and unique from the rest of world. therefore, after habesha women becoming american women, she can not able to satisfied sexual with habesha man. we habesha man feel so pitty towards those kind of question b/c God create us to be human not animal. therefore, after many habesha women start sexual relationship and tried to return to Ethiopian (habesha) man things does not work. she can not even mansion it b/c after that she will not be considered as a human in the eyes of habesha man. because of what I said, habesha girls fill guilty, stressed, and depressed in most cases, so they will come up with a lots of dinfasive mecanisms when they asked why does she go to non Ethiopian in most cases. most habesha girls say b/c he don’t cook, don’t know how to dance, don’t know how to treat a women,…………………/ habesha man don’t need your ass once get wasted in to europium evil way of life. in case if you find some one to married you, don’t hesitate weather he is black, white, Hispanic or any creature dog for that matter b/c you choice to be with non-habesha and be happy with your life and move on if you think habesha man is not good enough. even tell your father he is not longer your father b/c he is habesha! if the getto evil life is better than habesha, please move on leave us alone. don’t come back and confuse us when non-habesha man use your for sex like toilet paper through you like a garbage. leave habesha man alone and move on if you choice to be away from habesha man! in other hand if you think habesha man and his values and your values are good each other, you well come more than anything. all i known is you, my mother is habesha. I grow up playing and thinking of you, so why not. but if you choice “a kind of love” with out me, I wish you all the best. you confused us, after you get confused! God what is wrong with habesha girls in America! Thanks to God habesha man have home, he can always go home and look for healthy realtionship in Ethiopia if he don’t find the real, non confused clean habesha. he can always go home!
Funny, a group of people (Habesha) who gorge down raw bloody meat are saying how uncivilzed non-Habesha, white men are. And, also, you think White men are using Habesha women for dirty sex?? What about your own men? Many Habesha women are kidnapped, raped and have their vaginal areas torn to pieces from being raped or being forced into sex as young girls with men who are much older than them, like in their 40s or 50 and already have other wives. Is this your way of promoting the nobility of your Habesha men folk?
I am sick of ignorant and hypocritical racists condemning groups of other people. I understand its bad that Habesha women are becoming westernized and losing their identity and culture and conforming to the sterile, loveless and modern culture. However, for you to go and condemn only others is foolish. Go and take a look at yourselves. Perhaps, there is some problems in your own society that make Habesha women run awway to white or foreign men.
Don’t be racist, arrogant and just attack all cultures in the world. BElieve it or not, promiscuity is probably higher in Addis Ababa then in many cities in USA.. Take a look at number of prostitutes and the HIV rates in your country before you go condemning foreign people for being lustful or ruining the morals of your women.
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