They Say? 75 Comments


Time flies they say! I always thought that I was cerebral regarding current surrounding. I always thought I knew who I was, what I want & what I need to do at the present time. They say life is what happens when you are planning your future. As time flies I realize something else. I feel like I know what’s important!

They say education is important. They say health is important. They say spirituality is important. They say family is important! They say financial stability is important! What is important? What does Confucius say?

It is now 2007, and what is important always changes. If I am smarter than I was yesterday then what I think is important today is more right than what I thought yesterday.

If so, I have learned various points of views in the past years. Negative situations cloud our judgment? We lose faith in god! We loose trust in people! We loose confidence in ourselves etc. All because of a bad accident or because of some breaks our hearts or because we loose our job.

You might wonder if I have too much time in my hands to ask, analyze, dissect, and philosophize. Maybe you have no time; you are busy; you have to go to work so that you can pay rent at the of the month. Maybe that is what is important -Paying rent on time or finishing school or getting a better job! Maybe that’s life – always striving to make tomorrow better for you! What do they say?

Who am I to say what’s important? I should listen to what they say? There is priest, there is the accountant, there is the psychologist, there is that guy with the white beard, there is oprah, there is the Qes or there is the preacher at the Pente church. There are the CUD guys and there is Noha Semere, there are my friends and there are my family members.

Ya, so who am I to say whats’s important? I am just a guy who just finished his quarterlife crisis on the way to midlife crisis! They say that any experience just makes you stronger.

So I am the smartest, the strongest and the most aware today that I ever was. So I will tell you what’s important to me today!

I have learned that all people are generally good! If they do not appear to be at a certain time or from your perspective, it is because they are self conscious or because you appear to be threatening their happiness or goals. Their need is or appears to be in direct conflict or you need(s). It just makes life easier if you could try to see it from their perspective.

I have learned that honesty creates more trust, care, around you!

I have learned that connecting with who we are makes you more stable. Words like soul, spirituality, love, ethics, humanism, virtue, righteousness are thrown around. I do now know what they mean nor will I ever, but the more I bond with myself, meaning my childhood, my culture, my family, my friends from the past and present I am more stable.

I have learned that charity is great! Those who give get it back!

I have learned that all great things come with persistence. Great things take time. If you are going to school, keep going; if you are crafting your skills, keep crafting; if you are saving money, keep saving; if you are trying, keep trying. Excellence is persistence!

But who am I to say…

75 Responses to “They Say?”

  1. 1 Elala

    First and for most, I love EVERYTHING about ETHIOPIA! The song meaning is really nice and heart felt. I love any who shows a deep love for MAMA ETHIOPIA. I thought what you guys where talking about in the song is really great and something we all should do as proud Ethiopian. But I do have a few questions or suggestations. What is the title of the song? Who are the singers? And my last suggestations is that how come you guys didn’t mix up Ethiopian beat with the hip-hop beat….since you are talking about Ethiopia it makes sense if you were to use or put our own beat. Over all good job on the song and hopefully I’ll hear from you guys.

  2. 2 Nolawi

    refer to the right article… i do know which song you are talking about

  3. 3 tata

    nice nice nice “they say?” makes sense thanks whoever posted it.

  4. 4 celebratelife

    Wow Nolawi! This is just too deep and so wonderful. 2006 was the most enjoyable for me. I saw people I hadn’t seen in a long time. I seem to discover more and more about meself and my feelings for life, love, and the past. The whole year was so emotional for me that reading this was great pleasure.

    “I have learned that all people are generally good! If they do not appear to be at a certain time or from your perspective, it is because they are self conscious or because you appear to be threatening their happiness or goal from their perspective. Their need is or appears to be in direct conflict or you need(s). It just makes life easier if you could try to see it from their perspective.” Do you really exist or are you a figment of my imagination? This is the main reason I don’t believe in holding a grudge because of some misunderstanding.

    It’s funny if I had read this article a few years back I would tell you making money and having the best things in life is happiness and a reason for living. You know life is the best education anyone can ever get. I still love the best things in life but now it’s the simple things that just make me so happy. The quality time I spend with any person one-on-one whether it’s for 1 hour or a whole day is priceless.

    I’m still on a mission of answering the famous question, “who are you?” I know it should be so easy but it’s actually the hardest question. I have to think like toothpick to get this one right or maybe not.

  5. 5 Nolawi

    ha ha celebrate… i am real…. i never thought i was out of ordinary….. who are you is not an easy question to answer is it?

  6. 6 dinich

    That is deep stuff. Nolawai obviously getting older and wiser. If you get this much wisdom without a single grey hair on you, you should write a book when you are half grey. I am assuming you don't die your hair. Keep it up. Happy New Year to all

  7. 7 meron

    will take these lessons from you into 2007. thanks noles :)

  8. 8 bgFelasfit

    great post! siShemegel bilihat yigagnal alk? :P

    how bout the pursuit of happiness?
    how do you figure out what your passion is and then… find a way to make a career out of it?

  9. 9 bgFelasfit

    :) the : p is finally on bernos… :p I can express myself so much more freely! :p

  10. 10 bgFelasfit

    LOL…oops, my bad

  11. 11 chuchu


    Nice one especially
    “I have learned that all people are generally good! If they do not appear to be at a certain time or from your perspective, it is because they are self conscious or because you appear to be threatening their happiness or goals. Their need is or appears to be in direct conflict or you need(s). It just makes life easier if you could try to see it from their perspective”
    Really brightened my day – since I expecte too much from my fiends.

    Nice one for the new year

  12. 12 Nolawi

    ha ha aha dinich gotta tell you that i do not die my hair but have lots of grey hair… i also have nightmares… that i might lose my hair someday… seriously had a dream where i lost the top part of my hair.. two weeks ago… :)

    i think that is something else — bgfelasfa… ask th magic ball…

    tnhx chuch

  13. 13 Shanti

    Noliye, dream interpretation… according to our seratigne from a long time ago:
    Dreaming of hair loss is letting go of ones life worries or is it that one loses their sanity, maybe it means one lacks self-esteem??? I can’t remember maybe memory loss is starting young. But, I do often wonder where our seratigne is these days… hope she is well wherever she maybe. I learned a lot from her.

    Anyway, “they say…”
    Men w/grey hair = distinguished
    Women w/ gray hair = just plain old

    Sedoch… “they” know nothing!

  14. 14 Wudnesh

    Nol, got to tell u…if u dreamed of losing your hair….you’ll lost some money. Am worried, the top part of your hair?..hmmm..i hope u won’t lose your main income ):
    Errr besmeaab, Nolye…it’s just a DREAM! have a prosperous new year.

  15. 15 adey

    wow great writing
    you put my jumbled thoughts eloquently

  16. 16 Nolawi

    thnx adey…

    btw you guys I DREAM IN AMARIGNA!

  17. 17 Shanti

    Nol, just curious… what was the inspiration behind “I dream in Amarigna”

  18. 18 Mengedegna

    Great reflection, Nolawi.
    I must admit tha I can relate to most of the things u’ve mentioned above.
    Just so much stuff to pour into this little bowl now. Others prolly can’t fit into these shoes of mine.
    Anyway, Happy ye’hiwot menged in 2007, everyone!

  19. 19 celebratelife

    Nolawi, You know I once discussed the “who are you” question with my father. He said I hope to God you’re not going to start it out with I’m your child. He is a very funny man. I will continue working on getting that answered. It’s like in the movies….who am I, where am I, why am I.

    If you lose your hair it’s not the end of the world as long as you don’t lose your mind over losing your hair. Not good to depend on your hair too much…I used to grow my hair and refused to cut it for years. It grew and grew and I loved it and spent some serious dollars getting it did. Then one day when my hair dresser was on vacation and I had to get it done for an event. I mean I refused to go without my hair looking nice…the evil, devil or whatever was out there landed my ass in the wrong hair shop, referred by a friend, with a nightmare hairdresser who suggested a trim but instead chopped it all off and the next thing I knew I had shoulder length hair. Don’t ask me what the hell I was doing while the scissors were going snip, snip please don’t ask cause I may start crying all over again. I didn’t attend the event and balled for days. All my friends looked at me with total shock and said what the hell did you do? Are you high? But guess what it grew back (not as long as before). Unless baldness runs in your family, even if it does so the hell what? Bald is in. A lot of guys shave their hair and you know what Nolawi you are way more then your hair. Yes your hair is nice, very nice but enjoy it and don’t fear losing it. What you fear usually comes true. Check out the Law of Attraction
    Amazing, just amazing! It’s long but worth every minute watch it when you have time.

    I love this topic so much you can’t even begin to understand. I have gone thru a serious of changes for the good, I might add. Where I can honestly say I’m at my happiest moment right now and every minute going forward. And no it’s not because of a guy I’m happy, I’m just happy to be happy.

    Chuchu, “Really brightened my day – since I expecte too much from my fiends.” I think you might want to add the r in fiends cause you don’t really mean that do you? LOL

  20. 20 Shanti

    Celebrate… thank you for that link. Just a week ago, a close friend forwarded me this same information on the Secret of Attraction. We discussed it for a long time and it was odd in a sense I have always tried to live my life in a similar manner and not because someone suggested it but because that was what made me comfortable and happy. There were a few other things suggested in this movie/documentary that I don’t necessary do but am willing to try out… in any case, thank you!

    It is a great feeling to have reached that special stage in life where happiness (lack of a better word) is achieved. Most of our lives we are chasing after an unrealistic dream or the dream others have had for us, forgetting that we are actually living “our” life.
    OK, I better stop… once I get on this topic, I’m non-stop… just like you I enjoy discussing this topic, especially with those that have reached that stage in their life. Some of my Abesha friends think I’m being “ferenj” when I bring up this topic but its good to know that a member of my dysfunctional family member thinks the same :P

    Noliye, ante… guess what I dreamt of last night… I had thinning hair (not bald) but not on the top of my head like you, mine was on the sides above the ears but it started from the front of my head all the way to the back… almost like a Mohawk but I had some hair left on the sides…

  21. 21 Wudnesh

    Interesting stuff! Something I have instilled in me from Ethics class is what Nol said…that all people are generally good. I learned that the driver in front of me doing 20 miles an hr, is not trying to annoy me but driving within his comfort zone. For that matter, I could drive 55mhr and annoy the hell out of another driver behind me, who thinks I might as well stop in the middle of the road than drive that ‘slow’. I also learned that the professor, who I believe hates me, doesn’t leave his/her house saying ‘What a lovely day to ruin that student’s day!’.

    According to Plato, that which we call Evil is merely ignorance and that which we call good is merely that which everyone desires. (Not sure if I could agree)
    How about evil deeds committed by a person such as Hitler, etc? Well, I believe everyone is created in the image of God, and with good conscious. However, in order to achieve what they desire, people sometimes reason deliberately void of conscious. On the other hand, the intent of the actions is a key factor. If one’s motives are based on his/her presumable sincere belief that the action serves a greater cause, though the action might be morally wrong, there exists no evil intent in them. Darn! I think I’m going off topic….

  22. 22 Nolawi

    speaking of hitler… what made him evil was experiences……. i don’t know how many of you have read his biography…but he was a painter… and applied to go to the fine arts school vienna austria minamin.. and tried his share of galleries owned by jews… if one of those art galleries gave him the opportunity… maybe 6 million ppl wouldn’t have died….

  23. 23 lulu

    I, like you believe that all people are inherently good. What makes the difference is, as Nolawi pointed out, ones life experience. It all starts with fear, which is an inevitable experience a human being goes through during their life time, and if uncontrolled leads to anger which in turn leads to hatred and misery.

  24. 24 Mengedegna

    Thanx a lot celebratelife for the “Law Of Attraction” link!! Just got the whole documentary, and it’s incredible!! I haven’t even finished watchin it all yet, but it’s already got me into lotta thinkin’, and I wonder if some things are mere coincidence or it’s this law at work. Not so sure. I do know one thing though – this whole documentary has definitely made me more “thought-conscious” now. I’ve been tryna relate everythin around me and things tha have happened in my life to the law of attraction theory, and some of them actually make a lotta sense.
    I’ve always believed in developin good/positive thoughts (whether they eventually end up being drawn to me or not) and often exercise my brain to see if I can command it to do/feel what I want and it’s amazin the kinda results u get.
    Well, I don’t know if that’s got anythin to do with the law of attraction per se, but another thought tha came to mind when watchin the documentary was why humans dream and if it can actually be explained by the law of attraction. Umm…I better stop rumblin now before this chain of thoughts goes into infinity.
    Anyway, thanx for the link again celebratelife.

  25. 25 wudnesh

    Celebrate…I follow the others in thanking you for the link…have a feeling I’ll be thanking you in a bigger way at the end of the year, because I have already started applying it in my life….and in an obvious way too.
    Nol, ur last sentence #22, that is a big MAYBE.

  26. 26 Dinich

    I agree

    “I have learned that all people are generally good! If they do not appear to be at a certain time or from your perspective, it is because they are self conscious or because you appear to be threatening their happiness or goals. Their need is or appears to be in direct conflict or you need(s). It just makes life easier if you could try to see it from their perspective”

    Let me say the same thing differently:

    Generally, people carry the potential to be good or bad. How you deal with them determines whether they will be good or bad.

  27. 27 bgFelasfit

    I finally got to check the link from celebrate!!!
    Girl, Thanks lots!!! I’m so glad I checked it out finally….
    There’s a book: The Alchemist which is also wonderful.

  28. 28 adey

    Melkam temegni melkam endtagegni yilal yagere sew

  29. 29 t

    A very beautiful article. I think that its all got mixed up. I think as you get older you get more confused . As Nolawi put it , we get smarter that yesterday . For me that has somehow made me lose confindence in the choices I make today because will they still stand strong tomorrow? I was more focused as a young women – I knew what I wanted , what the next thing was. But my choices havent always been the best . But as a growen women , life has gave me more challenges and I dont trust my judgment for the mere reason mentioned above.
    Does anyone feel me???

  30. 30 celebratelife

    Shanti, Wudnesh, Mengedegna, bgFelasfit, I’m glad you enjoyed the LOA video. It truly is wonderful.

    T –, “I was more focused as a young women – I knew what I wanted, what the next thing was.” You have to back track to the time you lost that focus to find the answer.

    “But as a growen women , life has gave me more challenges and I dont trust my judgment” If you don’t trust your judgment then no one around you would either.

    Age is supposed to make you smarter, happier, wiser, emotionally and financially stable and not throw you in reverse. If you asked me to turn back the clock I would look at you crazy. Don’t give up on what could be…there is no time like the present to iron out any creases that may be giving you a hiccup in life. Sometimes it’s ok to be selfish and focus on you until you can figure it all out. “Enjoy your life, this is not a dress rehearsal”.

    I look forward to the next 10, 20, 30 or more years to continue making sense of life. I remember I once heard…life is full of lessons when you know everything you die.

  31. 31 bgFelasfit

    T I feel ya…!
    I find it preplexing that people brush past this topic! I’m really glad you brought it up for us to openly share our thoughts! There is always the fear of the unknown &/or failure that comes along with eroding ‘tikus’ naive approaches… because newsflash: everything is not always perfect!:P And we don’t always make the best decisions… I feel its pinch, at times, sort of a nevousness about future decisions…in fear of what it will bring…

    Regardless, Challenges add different layers to a personality…certainly! u’ve come through the challenges and are trekking on!! You’re an interesting individual with character because of your experiences as long as u keep ur head above water, have a blast swimming and stay confident and true to yourself… :) … After all check the last item on the list of nolawi’s wisdom points: success is about perseverence, not about making the right decisions!!…It is actually about working through the wrong decisions with determination.

    Here’s a quote:
    “I don’t divide the world into the weak and the strong, or the successes and the failures, those who make it or those who don’t. I divide the world into learners and non-learners.”

    Beyond anything, T…I think it is crippling to dwell on this issue. It holds you from moving forward…and honestly, its a waste of time!

    Keep on trekking, girl! :)

  32. 32 Debritu

    Who knew Nolawi was this deep. Thank You for the great article.

  33. 33 Nolawi

    thanks… didnt know i was deep :)

  34. 34 Dinich

    T – Making wrong choices is what we all do once in a while. No body has a crystal ball to make the right decisions all the time. Yes, some mistakes are more costly thna others. But, we are all wired to make mistakes.

    There is nothing in my past that I call a failure even though there are a lot things that did not work out. That is the nature of things and it is a misnomer to call them a failure. “failure” is a very discouraging word and I hate it with passion. I would rather call it experiment, test, research, trial etc… If you call it a failure every time you don’t succeed in something, then researchers would be the biggest losers of all time because they try things “they fail” a million times before they succeed. But they just call it experiment and keep trying again.

  35. 35 bgFelasfit


    …random thought: did u know ur name signifies the 3rd to last week before fasika…? hmmm…i think it’s fasika…

    surely, this is one of the really good bernos articles …!
    well written, honest and wise
    if u didn’t know u were deep…check again bro!

  36. 36 celebratelife

    Dinich, I agree with you I also don’t like using failure to describe my decisions or any situation. It’s such a harsh word that puts a period where there should be a comma. I’ve failed. That’s it. You’re done. Finito. Close the curtains.

    My belief is you should never regret any decision you make because it was the right decision at that very moment. It’s easy to look back at it maybe in a day, a month, or a year and realize you could’ve done it like this or that but that doesn’t change the original decision. You can only come up with a new idea to move forward. The important part is that you learn from your past and not ignore it. That’s why we find people constantly saying, “if I knew then what I know now” but the reality is you knew then what you knew then. That’s why I love this article so much because it speaks to me. Ok now time for a java break or something.

  37. 37 t

    Thanks guys , good advices, comments , reflections… I’ll try to be positive ….. oh and by the way Nolawi … will you marry me? :)

  38. 38 momi

    yeah, will you merry meeee 2 Papi? i promise to luv u 4 ever & ever and hurt you only when you ask me to.

  39. 39 Dinich

    I have an MS Word document that is named Bits and pieces. I use it to record some of the things I learn, usually a sentence or two that I am really impressed with. Whenever I get a chance I open the file and review it. I was doing that today and I found this:

    Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of Enthusiasm.

    Sir Winston Churchill


  40. 40 Nolawi

    [quote comment="13171"]Thanks guys , good advices, comments , reflections… I’ll try to be positive ….. oh and by the way Nolawi … will you marry me? :) [/quote]

    [quote comment="13174"]yeah, will you merry meeee 2 Papi? i promise to luv u 4 ever & ever and hurt you only when you ask me to.[/quote]

    ha ha, I forgot who the president of the nolawi fan club was but you guys can ran for vp and secretary respectively…


  41. 41 Mrs. Nolawi p

    T and Momi, Back off deranged fans he is mine and mine only! :) I am the soon to be Mrs. Nolawi P I asked him and he said maybe but now he’s sure to say yes. Did u see his photo on one of the articles? Every night I run my fingers through that gorgeous hair and yeah everything else comes after ;) Thank God he’s mine, mine all mine the cutie is mine.

    Don’t worry baby no one will come between us. Whatever they say don’t listen to them. You’re mine and I’m yours forever and ever.

    Love you and see you tonight same place same time.


  42. 42 Mengedegna

    Good point, celebratelife and Dinich. That’s a healthy way to look at things.
    I was just listenin’ to a song by Baby Cham called Rudeboy Pledge, and I thought I should share these interestin lyrics.

    The road to success is not straight
    Theres a curve called failure
    A loop called confusion

    But if you have a spare called determination
    And a engine called perseverance
    With insurance called faith
    And the drive to make it
    You’ll reach a place called success…

  43. 43 bgFelasfit

    :) i luv it mengedegna…!
    great analogy

  44. 44 Midget

    Below please find what I found reading about success.
    The whole thing is qouted from nextlevel achievment.

    If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.

    –Henry David Thoreau

    The Central New York Business Journal said – “How do you define success? That’s not a trick question, and there are no wrong answers. For some, obviously, success means money. Others rate emotional happiness as being more important, yet others rate popularity above all else. Regardless of how you define success, an emerging specialty called ‘success coaching’ (also known as personal and professional coaching) offers the chance to visualize your highest goals and stay on track to achieve them.”
    The definition of success is different for each person. Success is about the person you are, and the person you are becoming.It is about fulfilling your potential and achieving your dreams.Your success is what will bring you a life of joy and pride in your acomplishments.
    My favorite illustration of how people define success in their own unique way is ….. The Corsican Fisherman
    A lone fisherman sat on a stretch of beach. His single fishing pole was planted in the sand. Along came a businessman on vacation. “Why don’t you have two poles so you can catch more fish?” the businessman asked. “Then what would I do?” asked the Corsican. “Then you would take the extra money, buy a boat, get nets and a crew, and catch even more fish.” “Then what would I do?” asked the fisherman. “Then, you could move up to a fleet of large ships, go wholesale, and become very rich,” said the businessman. “Then what would I do?” asked the Corsican. “Well, then you could do whatever you want!” shouted the businessman…. And the Corsican replied, “I am.”
    The following is how some other people see success.
    Do any of these ring true for you?
    Webster says success is an achievement or a successful performance.
    Succeed is to have the desired result, to attain a goal, to flourish.
    A few of my favorite quotes include…
    “If your success is not on your own terms, if it looks good to the world but does not feel good in your heart, it is not success at all.” — Anna Quindlen

    I am honest with others and myself.

    I receive gratefully and give quietly.

    I am gentle enough to feel and strong enough to show my feelings.

    I am slow to see the faults of others but quick to discover their goodness.

    I am cheerful in difficult times and modest in success.
    I do my best to be true to my beliefs.
    “To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.

    This is to have succeeded.”

    – Ralph Waldo Emerson

    “When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live life.”

    –Greg Anderson

    “Don’t be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin.”

    — Grace Hansen

  45. 45 bgFelasfit

    Midget…I must say this one is my favorite:

    If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.

    –Henry David Thoreau

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