One fine day, I went into some coffee shop and got excited to see another fellow Abesha behind the counter, but, “Can I help you?” bela Kum aderegechign. So naturally I placed my order in English. The odd thing was, the girl was giving me that funny attitude some Abeshoch give others when they wanna say, “ Amaregna eyawekesh be’engelizegna atekenachi!,” which felt especially odd in this case, so I got my coffee and went about my business.
Later that week, I went back to get my daily caffeine-intake and I got served n’all in English again and then I thought, Hey, she’s at work and the language of the land is English (sometimes French in our case) so it ain't a big deal. Except this time, I got my coffee and I can hear girlie and her friend chatting… ” Tey enji endesu atebeyat….ye’gna aynet sira yalat yimesleshal?…Aye, yeteshale sira yalat temeslalech…..and went on and on….and suddenly kept quiet when I turned around to leave. But it got me thinking about the saying… “ Nobody could make you feel inferior without your consent”…except in this case, they were doing that all on their own.
But more to the point, I have run into a lot of Abeshoch that feel almost insulted when spoken to in English and consider it some sort of “ meQenatat” and part of a better-than-thou attitude. I find it rather strange because firstly there are a lot of people who do not speak Amharic but speak some other language from Ethiopia so it’s hard to assume that since they are Abeshoch, they speak Amharic. Secondly, there are one too many people who grew up elsewhere or in Ethiopia but never had to speak Amharic and then, seeing that we all have to speak English more often than Amharic since we interact in English with the rest of the society….”MeQenatatu minu lay new?”
Published by November 16th, 2006 in Social.
I have no Idea what meqenatatu minu lay nuew means?
shouldnt it be meqenanatu? i'm so confused… we need to edit once we figure out what rahwina means by the statment!
Nolawi,
I think you may need to go back home and get some Amharic lesson. Do you know what MOLQAQA is? my loose translation is spoiled brat as in the simple life TV show by Paris Hilton and Nicole Riche.
Cheers,
???? ?? so how exactly do u pronouce it….
????? ??? ????? ??? ????? ?
It is ?????. But I guess it is misspelt on the header. It should be MeQenatatu instead of MeQenatu.
Rahwina,
Maybe you should have asked if they’d openings at the coffee shop, and if u could have an application form … in Amharic.
You are in D.C. right? if so you should not be suprised, I mean, we have so much fun when we come down there because most of the people treat us like ferenji gets treated back home. They think we speak English because we “think we are better”. I just want to tell them, out in the snow of Michigan, you got to speak English because you might not see Abesha for month or two. So, when in DC we have to remember to be “alert” not to use English because you might come off as stuckup.
I think DC should not be the first place any abesha comes for the first time. I think they should all be sent to South Dekota to learn English then you can migrate to DC, other wise you make your self feel inferior.
ozzo
lol i agree with you about south Dakota
but in the other hand if you want enhance ur Amharic and culture u should definitely settle in DC and have ur inferior mind ” for no reason” when we live in a place where you can be anything under the earth-related to reality.
regarding the article…now days it is hard to tell who is really ethio by looking the outward….i do not think if u speak English or Amharic matters as long as u put ur point across…and if u really want to speak the language ask the other side if they know the language.
amen!
Nolawi, Meqenatat is the amharic equivelent to ” Feeling too hot for ” So by saying Meqenatatu minu lay new..it’s to mean, how exactly is that considered as feeling too hot….rather…it means where is the ” feeling too hot for..” in that.
???? ?? , Mequenatat is not memolaqeq…you might wanna brush up that Amharic…j/k
blenmark n’ ozzo….I’m in a small city in Canada that has Abeshoch once you get connected but not enough that you would run into them if your business is out of downtown, so trust me, it’s exciting to see one from time to time.
But my point is, why is it a big deal though to speak to some Abesha-looking person in English? I was once introduced to an Abesha girl by my Somali friend and I excitedly asked something in Amharic and she told me she only speaks Oromigna and English. Since then I have never again assumed anyone speaks anything but English…So I find it unfair that ppl are labelled as though they have the better-than-thou attitude just cos they speak in English and are often accused of “Mekenatat”.
I hope that clarifies it.
the statement,” but, “Can I help you?” bela Kum aderegechign.” got me a little confused.why did you feel that way?…was it because she didn’t start off with the popular “abesha nesh?” question, or because she spoke to you in english?…if the first, i don’t understand why abesha people often expect acknowledgement from other abeshas…yeah…you’re abesha..so what?…what did you expect her to say?..maybe something like…”abesha nesh?…dehna nesh? eshi min litazez?”if the later,then you’re in the same boat as hers…
Venus…sorry I didn’t mention that I knew the girl socially(although not that closely) and have spoken to her in Amharic in all the short time I have known her.Which is why I got surprised that she didn’t speak to me in Amharic and which is why I was taken aback.
Although it didn’t apply, It got me thinking about why Abeshoch expect other Abeshoch to speak to them only in Amharic.
Let’s be positive Rahwina maybe you had a different hairstyle that day and she did not recognized you:)
It got me thinking about why Abeshoch expect other Abeshoch to speak to them only in Amharic.
well What better language than your own to express what you want to say? Not all of us speak good English there are times you leave things unsaid for luck of the right words.
My translation of Mekenatat is to ‘feel too much at home’ for example to abuse hospitality something similar to that sense.
alem, there are lots of other Abeshoch who don’t speak Amharic and instead speak a lot of other languages like, Tigrigna, Oromigna, Guragigna……
I think mekenatat means to be arrogant, so “MeQenatatu minu lay new” translates to “what do you have to be arrogant about”?
I make an effort to say hello to anyone who looks abesha. Why? Because I came from a society where a kind, warm greeting to anyone is customary. If I don’t get a positive response, it’s ok, it’s important not to let other people’s negativity affect you. I too have had an awkward moment when abeshosh insist on speaking English to me, but I don’t get mad, I speak English to them. For all I know they can’t speak Amharic or they have identity crises. To each his own.
Rahwina. I see what you mean. But maybe because Amharic been the dominant language we have a misconception that everyone speaks it? In any case what I meant was not spaceificaly Amharic only, but any language you both can feel comfortable with.
Timo I thought ‘arrogant’ in Amharic translates to ‘Ebritegna’ (tibitegna)? now am confused.
what about when you are new and eger to speak in English as other fellow habeshas are talking in between themselves?! this remindes me of the first time I moved to the states .. I just moved here I didnt have that good of an accent( you know the good american accent ) and the slang etc etc , even though I did know how to speak , write and communicate in the most formal way.so , when I was socializing with young, hip habeshas, they used to talk in English between themselves and then speak to me in amharic , or kind of translate what is going on , what they were talking about . I totally understood what they were talking about but somehow there is a kind of assumption that who ever comes form agerbet is starting ke meret when it comes to the english language ( by the same talken also considered fara endewerede …….just another perspective.
sorry about the bold thing …. endewerenku negn , when it comes to technology . Ha ha ha
Rahwina, Love the topic. I know my Amarenga is a little rusty but now I’m really confused. I thought MeQenatatu meant showing off?
What’s even more disappointing is when you go into an Abehsa restaurant/store and they insist on speaking to you in English then when they see you know English they switch gears and speak Amarenga. I say whatever to those type of people.
An Abesha once asked me, what language do you count in? After my answer he said that’s the language you feel most comfortable with. I thought it was interesting.
Ozzo,
I think DC should not be the first place any abesha comes for the first time. I think they should all be sent to South Dekota to learn English then you can migrate to DC, other wise you make your self feel inferior.
Throw in LA, Dallas, San Jose along with DC. Not as heavilty populated but bad enough.
As Timo eloquently put it …
Amen! Same here, I always try to acknowledge a fellow abesha with a warm smile and “selam”. Everyone understands “selam”. On the rare occasion that they don’t acknowledge me, it’s cool I’d still greet them again if I see them the next day. Negotiating the right language to use can also be tricky at first, so just keep mixing Amharic/English and listen until you work out the language they’re more comfortable with. No need to analyse or judge each other on language selection. To each his own!
I was at the airport last summer with my sister. We were standing in line at the security checkpoint when an arabic looking guy was pulled over for further inspection by a black security agent. So I said to my sister “just watch, he will take us next” in Amharic. So the guy looked at me with a straight face and said in Ahmaric “Enante, wede fit hidu”. My mouth dropped! He cracked a little smile. He didn’t “look” Abesha and that is the whole point. Let alone assume that they speak Amharic…
….i take the blame for judgeing and for being a sterotype…i assume ‘amharic’ is the only language that all ethiopians speak and when i hear ppl speak other languages i see them as weird….i think it is because for most we grew up in addis and were not exposed to other culutres/languages.
above all i say ‘selam’ or ‘dehena walachew’ no matter what….they have the right not to respond but as one says i come from a rich warm culture and i love it.
Just in…confirmed by someone who has an excellent command of the Amarenga language… MeQenatatu translates in English as showing off or feeling too hot for. Timo, Sorry arrogance is not the list, LOL
You guys, not to go off subject but then there are those that speak English (and they’re fluent in Amarenga) when they’re visiting Addis they are also know as the whats upoch. That’s a hilarious scene.
Along the same lines one of the things I feel unconfortable about is when abeshoch want to let me go without paying for parking, coffee etc… What makes me unconfortable is you can see them trying to hide it from the boss. There was this cashier at a cafeteria in my work place who took my $20 dollar bill and gave me back exactly $20 but in smaller bills and coins pretending to have charged me. I didn’t want to argue in front of her coworkers because she will get in trouble but I don’t really want them to steal to do me a favor. I don’t mind paying for my coffee. A smile and MOQ YALE SELAMTA BAMARIGNA goes a long way to making the connection.
If you have noticed, if they are the owners of that business, they make sure they charge you.
I go to DC for two main purpose, to eat Enjera and to chit-chat in Amharic. I bit surprised to see Habesha with no Amharic fluency living in DC.
Dingay ras … yes! Something like that. I don’t understand why habesh professionalism breaks down when other habesh are around.
I dislike it when i travel for work and I meet habesha doormen at hotels (more specifically in Ohio). If i am walking/talking with workmates the selamta becomes a slight bow of the head and eye contact. Actually I’m not sure if they do it, but I do it.
If I’m by myself, all of a sudden balefku bagedemku kutir, it becomes ‘konjit’ or some untowardly comment. One time, from some Tewodros wannabe bale shuriba habesha lij it was, ‘hey babe’. Indae?!? Ere behig amlak! What if a co-worker who they’re not aware of is right behind me? Do these guys realize it is very inappropriate? Worse yet, what if I was in a foul mood and reported this?
So far my solution has been limited to taking side doors, or calling co-workers ahead of time to coordinate what time they’ll be heading to the lobby. To my coworkers probable chagrin, I also make sure I run a few min late.
There aren’t many habesha pple where I live. At least I don’t know where they live/work. I don’t know if this is supposed to be ‘normal’, but it sure don’t sound right.
Rahwina, this is a “HOT” Topic!! Thank you for posting it!!!!!
That word, “Habesha Nesh/Neh??” does exist in our vocabulary!! Perhaps the your Habesha sister should have known to use it on you! Then again what if you didn’t seem Amharic speaking Habesha to her?? I agree your communication needs civilized discourse. Well, if you ask me from my past experience, I have run into many Habesha’s when I asked “Habesha Nesh/Neh??” They seem to answer “Aowo” or sometimes I get the usual Excuse ME?? Then I know where either they don’t speak Amharic or as simple as they don’t want to at that moment… We need to learn a lot from each other, specially us who lives in the states. We need to do some soul searching and face our weakness, and be kind to each other. Only then can we talk to each other in Amharic.
Let’s take DC Habesha’s for fun… DC Habesha’s are they treat each other with disrespect, they have little circle of friends, but with their differences always debating about Habesha’s who ignored them when spoken to in Amharic. DC Ethiopians!! They can’t even be friends unless they think alike, hate alike…. They do not see beauty in differences. Even in simple conversation that starts with “Habesha Nesh/Neh”. Instead of listening to what you are saying in Amharic, they want to know why you are speaking to them in Amharic, and what you are saying, and they go with guessing your motives… the cancerous tradition of conspiracy theory is also there.
The confusion of conservatism and liberalism (which is associated mostly with people with open minds) does not help. Then comes “yiluNta” the mother of all mis-communication. And we have all brought it over here and are trying to nurture it on foreign soil.
M&W
Tobian Tobian Tobianye you know I love u right gin
why do I always have a problem with your two cents?
its a free country; if the door man wants to say konjit and whistle minamin that is his mebt… yes if u mentioned it to the manager, he might get fired for harassing customers gin what is the big deal… so what he whistled TAKE IT LIKE A COMPLIMENT…btw you must be hot “oooooooooooowieee” hot beyigna konjit ye tobia lij
celebrate life, thank you for clearing up the confusion… i was impressed that rahwina our northern friend knew what it was…
Nolawi abedehale?? I think once a person is wearing some kind of uniform or just working for any kind of company calling a customer ” hey babe” is NOT his right! would he say that to another person that’s not abesha? NO I’m sure he didn’t mean anything bad but that’s just not Professional. I think the problem is we don’t know the limit to what extent we should get comfortable with a person cause he/she is Abesha!
i never never understood why exactly people from crappy cities crapped about DC – and “LA, Dallas, San Jose along with DC”. if you’re gon talk shit about abeshas in DC, then why do you keep going there? and why do you keep hanging at shitty places?
you can find ‘timbahuam’ people or fara people or disrespectful people in any city. same way you can find the other extreme in any city. it just depends on where you go and what crowd you hang with.
and Rahwina, other people have already said it but what about just talking to people in the language they prefer to talk to you? Taking offense because of their choice of language and trying to decipher that is where the stuff goes wrong. if you are worndering, ask them. don’t wonder or play detective. most people are upfront with stating the reason, if they are intentionally avoiding speaking a language.
and the abesha hook-ups in abesha operated stores of any city are kewl – be it vegas, dc, atl, new orleans, seattle, richmond, nyc, etc… free parking. free fast food. free cookies. free souvlaki. free appetizers. free drinks. free flat iron. i’ll take it! why? because i love the Robin Hood in people. more people need to rob the rich and give it to the poor.
oreo, you are so right, thanks for putting it in perspective… i didnt look at it that way…
sorry tobian, for some reason i like messing with tobian…
Tobian,
I wish you handled the situation differently….
Let me tell you few years back shortly after I moved to this country, I use to work as a janitor in one of the downtown buildings. Passing by the executive offices I always use to wonder, if one day I will have an office like that moving to a professional career. By the time I get to start my work in the early evening hours most if not all employees would be gone. The few that stayed behind to work often never even acknowledged the fact I was there. There were few that spoke to me and showed interest as to what my goals and future plans were. Let me tell you I appreciate those people very much. And they have inspired me to do better. I hope next time when you see an Habesh that may have not made it as far as you did please show them some interest and talk to them. I can assure you not only can you inspire the person but by allowing the person to know you will improve the “I don’t know her why should I care LE-KE-FA as well”
As to me I have not made it to the corner executive office yet, but let me tell you I have come a long way. One of the things I always do is treat the janitors or now affectionately called building sanitation engineers with as much respect and attention as any of my staff or colleges.
Tobian, I hope you try this new approach next time. If you do the result I suspect will surprise you…
Kilomamo, Love, love, love your comment. Never judge a book by its cover.
Shalom,
I’m sure you have noticed that I didn’t say I was offended by having been not spoken to in Amharic, instead I said I was surprised. and it is after noticing my expectation that I wondered why in the hell most ppl expect others to speak to them in Amharic and not just continue in the language the person chose to speak.As you have noticed in the story, I did that.
Stay positive people. Fact is we have more in common than differences. Most of us are so busy trying to prove who we are to strangers that we seem to have lost our way.
At the end of the day, I don’t know about you, I rather be remembered as a parking lot attendant who gave a warm smile to strangers everyday and did what she could to help people, rather than a CEO who never gave a damn about anybody. I thank God he has put me in a position to help my people, and hell yea, when positions open up in my workplace, I advertise and encourage abeshoch to apply first if they qualify for the position. If they are new comers, I will even help them with redoing their resumes and give them “inside tips” etc.
Timo,
You missed the point I think. I’d rather be remembered as a CEO who gave warm smile to strangers everyday. It is not about CEO Vs parking attendant. Besides, there is nothing wrong with helping your people. We all do it.
Honestly, I am glad that we are the positive people we are. I am known to be the most friendly person at work. And I can trace my friendly attitude to my abesha roots which we all share. It is natural to all of us. But the point is we can still do it ethically.
Cheers,
Once I was visiting my cousin out of town that just had a baby. So I decided to run some errands for her and went to an Ethiopian store to get some injera. I guess depending on my hair style and outfit I can look either a typical Abesha or a mixed African American.
Anyhow, I was in line waiting for my turn to pay for the injera in this small and crowded store, and there were two Abesha guys standing next to me staring and smiling. After a little while their stare kind of made me uncomfortable so I said “Selam” just to break the ice. Well that just gave them the go-ahead to ask me the burning question they had in mind “Amarigna tenagerialesh ende?”, so just to humor them I said “bedendb adrege”. Those two guys burst out laughing like I was some comedian. I guess they were curious as to why someone who wasn’t Abesha was buying injera. Their silliness kind of put a smile on my face.
I do love kilomamos comment betam arif arif…
Tobian, here is a sisterly advice…
, don’t be on the defensive, if you actually listened to their meaningless and harmless lekefa, it’s actually pretty entertaining…you’re taking life too seriously, k …says Dr.Temelkach..hell, who needs Dr.Phil.
Don’t run away from situations! It’s not very unique that some Abesha guys…hell, a lot of other Non-Habesha guys too..melakef but if you smiled the first time and nodded your head to show your acknowlegment to the somewhat interesting Selamta, you wouldn’t get to the ” hi babe” stage. Remember when you were in grade school, if you laughed off the first joke at your expense, there won’t be any coming your way after that. In this case, they just wanted your attention and by hiding away, you turned it into a cat-mouse game…Le’wedefitu, Konjit
Ozzo- You are right people don’t have to live big cities the first 2-3 years. They have to get in to the system in different cities before they move in. Most of my buddies who came to D.C has taken them more than 10 years. Beside, they know the first two sentence with a perfect English without an accent but when you go deep and start conversation they can’t keep up with you. I am not trying saying most habesha’s are like that but…you know…
This might interest you (since we’re speaking of language). I went to a small town in the desert of Arizona to do some Geological studies for a company I was interning. The town has approximately 300 people living in it. Almost all of them are your typical southern accented, Harley-Davindson-bike-lovin’ red necks (Cool people though, that just happened to be their thing). Anyway, I am sitting there talking with a colleague (who is a white american) and there comes a 40 something years old white man. His head was bold, and he had a mustash that was curled upward from both ends. He was supposed to be our local contact for some accessories. He introduced himself as Jack (had a heavy red-neck accent). For a moment I thought he owned a slave or something from the way he looked at me(“I didn’t like the vibe”). Then, suddenlly his cell phone rang(i was quite impressed that cell phones worked in that shit hole). He waived his “LeBA” fingure (his way of telling us to hold for a sec) and answered the phone. Hello he said, …(paused)… then continued… ABO MeN TADerQiGNALeSH BenaTiSH, I told you I will be there… (I was like…haa? ) the dude spoke amharic. To this day, he won’t forget the look on my face. We became friends afterwards. It turns out, he was the son of a missionary, and technically, he is Ethiopian. Born and raised in Ambo. Go figure…
Chelema.LOL…that was great!Dayuuuuuuum!
PPlu have you heard of the Abdu Kiar song, “Fikir Be’Amaregna”…hell, I’ll bet I’m the last one to listen to it but it has prety good lyrics…it has a line that goes sth like…actually a few lines that are valid….
Need I say more?!
…
sinaweded= siniwaded…
Maybe it’s you who was showing ” MeQenatat” attitude. I cannot stand it anymore Abeshas and their egos. They just stand and stare at you without saying hello. Did you have a smile on your face and offered her the good old Amharic Greetings. Probably not. You just stood there looking at her as if she is an alien. Then the only thing she can do is Take your orders in English as she does for all other customers.
i don’t know what this whole thing is about, but while staying over in va over the summer i also had a misfortune incident in which i walked into an eritrian lunch place then i wuz bout ot leave so i asked this kid at the counter’bout my age in an offhand cool ethio-slang for the check, he gave me a kind of bizarre look as if he wanted to say what the fuck kind of gibberish are you talkin’ u fuckin’gamo,then he politely spoke in english that he didn’t understand a word i said, so i embaressedly i just paid n’left. Sometimes its a genuine case of language barriers but other instances i’ve been at the misfortunate ends of many a confused states where conversations and broken english jumbled with hostile back n forth attempts of speaking with the same ethio homies has left me really dazed.