If there is one question I hate most in this world it is that! However, I despise the question only when it’s coming from an Ethiopian. At fist glace you might think I’m being extreme, but bear with me let me explain why.
I came to the states when I was eight. I’ve spent more of my life here than Ethiopia. When I initially came to the states there were not that many Ethiopians; now it’s a completely different story. I’m young for those with my educational background, but that’s only attributed to the fact I skipped a couple of grades. Besides I knew at least three or four other Indians who were sixteen years old freshmen in college, therefore it's not that big of a deal.
So when telling my age to anyone other than an Ethiopian, I never encounter any reaction other than maybe the surprise, “oh, you must be smart than…” but for some reason with Ethiopians I’m always met with this glare that I just told a blatant lie. Why is that? My parents tried to explain that it’s because some Ethiopians lie about their age in order to come to the states. But does that mean all do? Should I then not trust when another Ethiopian tells me his or her age? What dereference does it make to them how old one person is? What gets more is the animosity that comes afterwards. Why is that?
Published by October 17th, 2006 in Current Issues.
H ah ahaha: this age thing has been a big issue semonune You know maybe your parents never told you your real age! i dont know who knows… j/k but ayzone
I forgot to say welcome Meron & look forward to your strong participation…
People Meron has been working very hard in the background so far, I need you to encourage her to keep up with the blog….minamin
haaaaaaaaaaa Good one girl! Always wondered the same thing. plus here is one more Q to the list of Qs….one would argue that as people are getting older, they wish they were younger and by telling their actual age, it is a reality check on where they stand on the time-scale but then I am yet to understand why ppl barely 40 are lying about their ages…c’mon you already in the prime of your years, why lie about your age!
back when i was entering college i thought i was only 17years old. that year, after my freshman year in college was over my parents told me my age was a lie!!lol
and they said my real age then was 20..lol
apparently they lowered my age when i came to america.
anyway most ethiopians do this.
or other ethiopian parents flatout don’t even know the age of their children. this might be the reason why most ethiopians are suspecious of ppl’s age.
but why care? i don’t know.
well i just called my mom, who by the way was not SURPRISED by my questions!! Ok, so im coming to the conclusion that our people have serious issues.
Don’t ask me why but it is true that Ethiopians have a problem with telling their age. I remember once I was in a crowd of Ethiopians when someone asks age I was the first person to tell my age and almost everyone in that crowd was shocked. I just don’t get it why telling the truth is so big of a deal in our community when it comes to age. I am glad to hear that I am not the only person who feels this way. There are a few things that people consider being annoying in our culture, and I think some people are adding the whole age question part of that category. It is important to be happy with your own skin as well as your age, regardless of how old you are.
This reminds me of my late great-aunt, who used to always answer age-related questions with ” Be’talian gize….” I love how it was always a reference point!
But it’s true, some ppl just don’t know their true age but for those who do, pls tell the correct age, it ain’t the end of the day!
Well, if you ask me just add 5-10 years to any Ethiopians, specially girls who left the country for better life. If you do this math you will get closer to thier true age.
It’s a fact, everyone changes thier age since the ET passport system and due to lack of Birth certificate no one really knows the exact birth date.
This is a chalange for all of us to give accurate birth dates to our children, so they don’t have to go through what we are going now… It’s almost a joke in High School if you are Ethiopian and you are know deep inside that you are older then everyone, but you still in the 10th grade… Nothing wrong with being little behind and learing new culture and language…
GudFela
I totally agree with GudFela, need to add 5-10 years to most ET’s ages if they live abroad. I don’t think this is isolated to only ET’s though; I think women in particular, no matter where they came from, are uncomfortable with giving out their age.
Personally, I feel it is privileged information like your salary etc. There are some things you will tell people who are close to you but not necessarily anybody.
I just love the topics on Bernos. The classified info is what I call it along with salary and weight. But you know you’re right about some Abeshoch changing their birthdate to buy back time. I got some relatives and they were giving me advise, at one time, on how to be a woman because they’re like 5-7 years older than me and the next thing I know they have become 5-7 years younger than me, because the greencard said so. I busted out laughing when I brought up an incident that happened, when we were kids, and one of them said I don’t remember cause I was too young. Say what?
I feel sorry for them at retirement time when I’m just living it up for 3 months in Mexico while they’re slaving away in corporate America. And you know I had to throw that in their face. I believe the age, salary, and weight of a woman is not to be asked by none other than her spouse/boyfriend or sometimes the loved ones. When you really think about it though, who really cares.
ladies and gentlemen, you are witnessing a Condi Rice in the making
who cares about your age really? lying about age is not an ethiopian thing, everyone lies about their age at some point. Last comment was real funny!!
well i just called my mom, who by the way was not SURPRISED by my questions!! Ok, so im coming to the conclusion that our people have serious issues
THAT was funny. Well if you have problems with people thinking that you are lowering your age, just say lie and add a couple of years, and all will be fine( by the way they will forget your age as soon as they leave you).
@visitor … LOL! That’s genius, great advice!
@celebratelife … you know, traditionally the saying was “never ask a woman her age, never ask a man his salary.” But in our brave new world, where women work and men weep, that saying is changing to “never ask anyone their age or salary”
@nolawi … how about hooking this site up with a poll feature to get snapshot views and profiles (like age groups) of the Bernos community?
Ruphy — i’m hardly condoleeza rice in the making, but thanks for the compliment.
Gudfela and Timo — does that apply to all ETs or those just born in ET?
celebratelife — any advice on how to cleverly answer this question? i think im just going to start telling people im 30 and get it over with.
Yonas,from my experience too many features too fast is never a good idea… the less work the audience has to put it the likelier they are to participate… Bernos is likely most likely not going to have social networking features… but we might eventually get a discussion board via vanilla (which I think is the most simpliefied system) in early 07 depending the amount of participation the blog gets. But I think its very unlikely.
Till then I encourage you guys to encourage new authors to keep it coming. Hint: You!
Meron, I have an idea of how to cleverly ask the question – don’t ask j/k. There is no clever way to answer other than just don’t answer it.
I remember someone, I knew, once asked me how old I was when I left Ethiopia and I told her. Then she asked me how long I’ve been out of Ethiopia and I told her. Then she said so your age is __? I looked at her and said you went outside, around the corner, walked 2 miles to the store, and walked all the way back when you could have called a cab? She said, what? Make it simple just ask how old I am and I won’t answer. She still looked puzzled I think it’s because she was thinking about the bag she left at the store or something.
I think there is no clever way to ask or answer the question of age, it’s a tricky one.
Visitor,
I don’t think she should lie about her age in order to please others.
Meron don’t lie about your age. If someone is not believeing you then that is not your problem….it is theirs.
Stupid
who cares about your age really? lying about age is not an ethiopian thing, everyone lies about their age at some point. Last comment was real funny!!
I think it is mostly habesha thing to lie about age. I have never seeing other people shying away from telling their age. It is ok we all know you don’t have deny it “S”. By the way i am having a problem with your nick.
I usually tell my exact age when some one ask. Now on ward, according to the calculation given above, I will tell 5 minus my age.
Is that a nice idea?
bob – YUP!! according to our people YES!!! do just that
We know that you are smart as you skipped a couple of classes. But may I ask if you were you in a hurry to post your experience? There are just way too many spelling and grammatical mistakes, condi!
What country in the world lets you skip two grades? It is SO not true! Same as your age! Not that it matters. It just doesn’t ring right to my ears.
Betty
Meron, girl, don’t let people knock you down my sis finished high school in 3 years and college in 2 years. Some people are just like that, if not a prodigy smart as hell. If you got it flaunt it, it’s yours, and we’re proud that you’re an accomplished Abesha sister.
sorry guys. ive really busy with midterm the last two weeks!!!
lol tanashish! are there really? i must have been in a hurry. i do have a very demanding schedule. nolawi can testify to that? please feel free to make corrections
well Betty I skipped a grade in addis and one here in the states (6th to be exact. FYI you are able to skip more than one grade in any country. How do you think a 14 years old gets into college?)
thank you celebratelife. i sincerely appreciate the encouragement. however, im hardly a prodigy.
[quote comment="4022"]bob – YUP!! according to our people YES!!! do just that[/quote]
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