no2 inter-cultural 92 Comments

Just so you know I have a boyfriend!

Really, is he Ethiopian?

No, he is black [African American]

Really, are all your [X’s] boyfriends black? (I ask because she is in her late twenties)

Yes, all except one, really long time ago!

But why, don’t Ethiopian males measure up?

I really love Ethiopian men but with Black guys, I could be myself without being worried that I will be judged. They treat me special, for black guys I’m beautiful and unique; for abesha’s I’m just another girl!

What about for marriage?

Well, I think I’m going to have the preference of marrying Yager’En lij.

The question here is, do Ethiopian men judge woman at a higher standard in comparison to non-Ethiopian men? The answer, generally speaking is ‘yes.’ Is this wrong? Well, it depends if we measure all woman equally; if so it’s ok. If we have different rulers for Ethiopian woman, then it becomes wrong!

This is where Ethiopian women get it wrong. Yes, we judge but we judge all women by the same standard, in most cases.

About being treated special, ladies you can't have it both ways. You want to be independent; you want equally say in the relationship; and at the same time you want us to be Mr. Casanova. If we are equal, we men want that special treatment too. If you are equal you have to be as romantic, you have to pay half. Why should it be what the Ethiopian woman wants? What about what the Ethiopian men wants?

In conclusion, I am fair; I do think Inter-racial relationships do work if there is genuine love. But I do not believe in inter-cultural relationships. It takes years for the non-Ethiopian to really understand the intricacies of our culture, without understanding what makes us who we are, you can never truly know us! I am not saying it doesn't work, it does rarely!

92 Responses to “no2 inter-cultural”


  1. 1 zero

    You know why they like to date black men, because they like to sleep around and they wont be judged.

    Dating black men is a pssport for being a slut.

  2. 2 Mamitu

    “kediTu wede maTu aale yagerie sew”. I don’t know about black American men treating their women better than Ethiopian men.

  3. 3 interracial/intercultural

    Ende, you use the term inter-racial when you talk about other black americans? I am in an interracial marriage (ferenji) not because ethiopian men didn’t measure up but because we fell in love with each other as human beings. Our problems are not cultural but of being men are from mars and women from venus. The binding fabric is LOVE. Having said that, I wouldn’t put Ethiopian guys on the same scale as black americans. Apples and oranges. To each his own.

  4. 4 Nolawi

    Hey hey, I mean inter-racial as in white and black marrying eachother is like inter-racial but not inter-cultural

    Mamitusha… I'm gonna have to agree with you on that! 

  5. 5 Chereka

    Well, I don’t know about my fellow Ethiopians, but Nolawi, I’m gonna have to ask you to expand on this question here.

    “But why, don’t Ethiopian males measure up?”

    Are we talking literally or figuratively?

  6. 6 celebratelife

    Well…another interesting but touchy, touchy subject. I LOVE IT! Inter-cultural hummm let me say “what’s love got to do with it?” definitely won’t hold up in this court. It’s all about love and whether you complete one another or not. I’m currently involved in an “inter-cultural relationship” would I have preferred an Ethiopian man? I’ve dated some before but it just didn’t work out. So, did I commit a crime of passion? But let’s say you don’t meet an Ethiopian man that you like and have SOMEthings in common with, then what? Do we only get the option to check one of two boxes, Ethiopian man or single life?

    Also, it’s not about being able to be yourself around non-Ethiopians, that has nothing to do with nothing. You should always be yourself regardless of who you’re dating, any other way then YOUR life will not make sense…menem, nada, nothing, beeeeep. Ethiopian or not a man will treat you the way you want to be treated and vice-versa. Self-respect is the key!

    I love the fact that I’m Ethiopian and I wouldn’t change that for nothing in the world. But hey after all love is blind, right?

  7. 7 Nolawi

    ha ahah hahahaa… oh come on that shouldnt even be a question – speaking of literally not measuring up!! anyways in answer to the question, maybe zero has one point… its a small community… and woman are judged harshly if they sleep/ date different woman… there is a double standard, but that does not necessarly apply only to Ethiopian; it applies to all people….30 something years Post-feminism era – woman are still not equal- will soceity ever accept woman as equals… I doubt it.. because.. although we are equal we are different, we should not merge equality and same! ever heard of brown vs board of education – separate can never be equal!…

    Anyways CelebrateLife- there is no one better I could think of to tell us how we (ethiomales) suck? are you going to marry this guy that you are dating? does he treat you any special?  

  8. 8 sahia

    omg i cant believe this it doesnt matter wat race of male u date this time im totally with celebratelife thats kind of racies idel i ‘ve dated black and ethiopian men they r all people idel its just in ethiopian culture men expect their wives to do everything so its kinda in ethiomales blood

  9. 9 Mimi

    I have been dating African-American males for about 5 years now! One thing I would say is that my Hebesha x’s never made feel this way, they always complained how I don’t cook/clean thier apartmnts, in return I don’t get what’s mine from them… I’m talking about in bed, yes in bed I’m satesfied beside being teated like a Nubian queen!!

    Who are you to Judge?? Ha!

    Mimi

  10. 10 Temelkach

    Sahia, I’d have to disagree with ” in ethiopian culture men expect their wives to do everything so its kinda in ethiomales blood “. I have noticed that the Ethiopian men who have stayed out of Ethiopia for a while, actually do a lot of domestic stuff (if that is what you’re referring to by “everything”)…in fact, I have met a lot of men who are way more kitchen n’ household-oriented than a lot of women I know, yours truly included. They never gave me an impression that I had to be the one to step in and play domestic….my point is, it all depends on who you meet I guess and the expectation you were referring to has sorta evolved in our generation.

  11. 11 flornueva

    I must agree with what most said here. It seems like with Ethiopian males, they (most of them) have a certain expectation of how women should behave. It is almost as if they don’t want us to be their equals or something. Even living the U.S its as if we are to tend to ‘womanly duties’ of cleaning, cooking and generally making the man of the house of happy and while keeping quite and not expressing our minds. They even feel treatened if they think you are making more $ or more advanced in your career or education. It is an ego thing, really. They can’t handle it.
    Now that I have said the above, I do sincerly believe that love is blind (…and marriage is an eye opener…as the saying goes) I would not not date someone b.c they are non-ethiopian (inter cultural) but my preference would be to marry an Ethiopian. I just don’t want to explain….chechebsa or gabi or bula in english. Simple!

  12. 12 mangooo

    i thing the reason y our ethio ladies prefer going out with African americans or other races is of us(ethiomale.let me explain ,mawrat enewedalen….right after the first date, we be barging about how we managed to get her ,how we get emse on the first date bla bla..we cant wait the date tobe over so we tell our ethio friends about it.And this gura will change how our frinds will feel about this lady.

  13. 13 celebratelife

    A-A men raised in the south are a lot more conservative and demanding then any Ethio man can ever be, so don’t believe the hype.

    Mimi, I love people who have gusto in what they have to say, you go girl! Now as far as the physical aspect of a relationship I believe it takes two to tango and satisfaction is not a one-way street. Our Ethio men ain’t bad either if things aren’t going right, talk girl, tell it like it is.

    Nolawi, You crack me up, as far as being treated special, I was never mis-treated by Ethio men it just didn’t work out. If I’m not treated right, well the door is not superglued shut, I can just walk on by, da, da, da, da, da. As far as gabecha I’ll think about it when I get there, not because he’s A-A but just because. I communicate with him the same way as I would any Ethio man…well maybe not about the chechebsa, gabi or bula (like flornueva said).

    I know alot of A-A men want to date Ethio women because of “the look” but there are some good guys out there who want more than just a lap dance and a quick fix.

  14. 14 Anonymous Habesha

    Lame subject.

    What happened to you Nolawi? I thought you were an intellect??? Lately, I am noticing that you are abandoning your passion for being true to yourself, and latching onto subjects that have no merit, so you can attract more audience to your site.

    Word of advice, stay true to yourself. When you start deviating away from your heart, it is easy for others to see it. Then you are asking for the rise and fall of a great website.

    You are entitled to post whatever you think is proper, but remember, you don’t go to the hospital just because you have an insurance card.

    Don’t get caught up with a short term success.

    No malice wrapping.

    Psalm 12:1-3 (look it up)

  15. 15 Nolawi

    Hello Anonymous Habesha;

    Curious to see why you feel that the bernos blog has been latching to something I'm not passionate about? The topics have consistently been about Ethiopia and Ethiopian people. We continue to post in the subject of music, 6 posts in the past month have been about Ethio music. We are passionate about! Our friend EthioJazz is having some personal problems; he has shown his interest in coming back and continuing his serious of articles…

    As far as dating is concerned, this and other posts are consistant to posts in the past. See Dating category! we always had those; and we will continue to have those, because I personally am passionate about Ethiopian Girls. I am single and looking :)

    I looked it up, thanks for the proverb, its been a while since I read from the bible!

    This blog started because we wanted a place where we could talk about the Tshirt; its supplementary to the tshirts and it will always be.

    The only thing that changed is the amount of traffic and the frequency of post. As it should increase as any successful buisness does. This past month I have been busy and the posts have been shorter, as I have been upgrading the server and working on making the site ready for Oct 25 on which we will be applying to be a successful network of bloggers. Will write a post about this in the coming weeks.

    At the same time we have been busy designing the new set of shirts which we hope to have up before the end of November. So instead of complaining; you should just help.

  16. 16 alem

    Nolawi personally I think you are on the right track. keep the blog rolling dear:)

  17. 17 yenehuletsantim

    HELLO PEOPLE?!?!?!?! Last time I check although im an Ethiopian I’m “black” Did everyone miss that fact? And I know some of you are saying, “oh no there is a difference…blah blah…” But that is precisely the point! We have to change that type of mentality. And I wonder if im dating a Haitian or Nigeria or a Somali or even better a second generation American (but from Ethiopia)…what is that considered? Am I interracially dating him?

    Funny an ET guy asked me that just the other day, “So you date black guys?” I date whom ever im attracted to it and treats me well. As far as ET men measuring up to other nationalities, MOST DON’T!!!! Because of such bigotry, for some reason you guys think you’re better than any other race and you’re entitled to an ET woman. NO!!!!! Other than an ET guy understanding why my relatives come to visit @ 1030 at night and don’t even call or don’t leave till 3am in the morning, there is nothing more he can offer me that another man who loves me the same wont.

    Oh and Zero you sound bitter. Aww…she didn’t want you, don’t worry there is someone out there even for someone as arrogant as you. How can you make such a statement? Thanks now I know my aunt just wanted to be a whore…even she’s been married to the same guy for eight years!!!!

    Aurrrggghhhhh….sdkgfnodjfghoiasfgfgksbgdfasdfiogsopifdg

  18. 18 Nolawi

    9 Mimi  - how I don’t cook/clean thier apartmnts, in return I don’t get what’s mine from them… I’m talking about in bed!

    Last Time I checked, We Ethiopian Men go down too! For some reason I knew you were talking about that

     

    Temelkach- Some excellent points like always! We do domestic stuff too

     

    11 flornueva - but my preference would be to marry an Ethiopian. I just don’t want to explain….chechebsa or gabi or bula in english. Simple!

    Thank you, that is what I’m saying!

    13 celebratelife- I know alot of A-A men want to date Ethio women because of “the look” but there are some good guys out there who want more than just a lap dance and a quick fix.
    That is exactly the reason. I had a good friend in college, she was from Japan; and she was attractive. And all the white guys wanted some of that!… One guy was seriously obsessed with her, I told her to give him chance, and she said you know the reason I wont give him a chance, is because he has Yellow Fever!  Yellow fever when white men are attracted to asian just because of the far east look. It’s a fetish. Just the same with AA men!.. They don’t love you! Like we do!

  19. 19 chamatefi

    Does anyone on this forum share my view that it is quite fun dating someone outside of your ‘comfort zone’?

    Please let this be the 21st century!

    How cool would it be to teach a chinese, venezulan or congolese women some amarigna. Or learn how to say “stop nagging me woman” in russian.

    I say mix it up, have some fun, find out what you like..then yeah love fikir blah blah blah settle down and half some half-ethiopian, half-mongolese midget babies.

    But yeah leave our ethiopian women alone.

  20. 20 metad bet

    they dont love you like we do?! nolawi…i am dissapointed. that’s why u are still single and looking, lol.

  21. 21 Temelkach

    Hey guys, here is a Q? Why do you think that Habesha women should date Habesha men? What have you got to offer that other men don’t, aside from similar cultures and languages?(and that is not even guaranteed at times)
    Cos in all honesty, you don’t see the Habesha women making noise about you guys dating non-Habesha ladies.

  22. 22 sahia

    yes maybe i spoke too bodly about it being in their blood please forgive me to anyone i’ve offended and yes yenehuletsentim we are all black we do forget it though sometimes and i agree it is much fun dating outside our safety box as u say chametefi

  23. 23 celebratelife

    Nolawi, I believe you gots my word twisted. Now let me start with, I also have a fetish it’s called MEN. FYI I am not going to settle for an Ethio man just because he was conceived and delievered on the same land I was, I need more than a common birth place in a relationship. I don’t live by “just because”.

    You see it’s not a dislike for Ethio men that I have and I think that’s where you’re misunderstanding my point. What is your suggestion? An Ethio girl drops what she has in search of the “ideal” person from the motherland. If life was that easy and predictable I’d be a millionaire, like two-weeks ago, but since I’m not in that income bracket let’s continue to discuss this.

    Now going to the other side, I’m not saying A-A men are any better, at the end of the day, they’re still men. In the perfect world of dating, per Nolawi, all Ethio women would meet the perfect Ethio man and live happily ever after. Now if my relationship ends and I happen to meet the perfect Ethio man I’ll update my post and be on the NY times best seller list – wow I’ve always wanted to write a book and I’ll personally autograph your copy.

  24. 24 Nolawi

    What I’m saying is that the “ideal” person should be an ethiopian, similar background minamin,… that is unless you where born here?

  25. 25 visitor

    Intercultural?You are exagerating the “ethiopian” part of most of your readers…They just are americans jile the others.I can underline the typically american words in your own sentence for example inter-cultural versus inter-racial for example is typical.An europeen won’t say that, for example.

    Why ethio americans date afro americans? Because they the are much closer than you think..;Their american part is bigger that the rest.

  26. 26 Temelkach

    Although not completely, I agree a lil bit with Visitor over here. Over a range of time, people assume a lot of the cultural habits of the ppl they live around. It doesn’t matter where you’re from but you ” learn” a few habits from your surrounding and these habits are often the building blocks of culture. So for ppl who live in the North American dwellings, they do tend to have one too many N.American cultures such as the ” It’s my right” attitude (hell, I have it too but do you think you’d have developed that in Ethiopia?)…the ” ppl are watching…so what?!” Tell me you’d do that on the streets of Addis. Plus the unusual interest and knowledge of tabloid info…who here knows how many times Mohammad Ahmed or Tilahun or Dawit Mellesse has been married…seriously now, there are some things we just take up subconsciously and they contribute to our daily views and general oppinions. SO if you think the “ideal” spouse is Ethiopian/Habesha man/woman, Nolawi, I think it might all depend on wether he shares these “cultural habits” we have taken up living here and not all based on habits that we brought from back home that most probably have become rusty or have died by now.
    The similar grounds can’t be all about the Habesha-ness.

  27. 27 Nolawi

    Temelkach I am going to disagress… here a lot of what we do and what interests are is about being Ethiopia…

    we eat injera speak amharic … then that is a large part of us…

  28. 28 the real deal

    True, most ethipian men tend to be jugmental/narrow minded, even the ones who call themselves liberal. Well as for me, dating outside of my race wouldn’t have been a problem if it wasn’t for the complex communication reasons. I’m not talking about language barrires here….Explaning a lot of things is just tiring…It’s hard enough to communicate with anybody in a relationship let alone someone from a diff culture. We habeshoch are a lot different from other ppl in a lot of ways and I think my life would be a lot easier to date habesha guys. I feel like the level of understanding will be higher or better ….
    Like forexample It would be nice if my bf knows the songs I love in Amharic, all the old tezeta songs of Mehamud, Tilahun…. and now Teddy afro….
    But then again…this is all possiable if you find the real libral and open minded habesha.

  29. 29 celebratelife

    Nolawi, I know what you’re saying about the “ideal” person being an Ethiopian as far as sharing cultural values and having similar backgrounds. And yes we do speak Amarenga, eat injera and have Abesha friends and just equally we may enjoy soul food and have African American friends 50-50. The scale is no longer tipping to one side only. I think, if you’re born here you’re actually American-Ethiopian versus Ethiopian-American.

    Like Temelkach was saying “you learn a few habits from your surrounding…” and we adapt to the new culture and way of life. I agree partially with what she is saying and hey if people who encompass both attributes meet up then they’ve made history.

    Regardless of what culture you feel most comfortable with, there is nothing like being an Ethiopian!

  30. 30 C

    I think that this kind of statement is a dangerous to make. Because I’m African-American I can’t identify? I like injera and can appreciate a good Teddy Afro song even when I don’t exactly know what he’s saying.

    While the cultural gaps might be quite vaste, this does not mean that as an African-American woman married to an Ethiopian man that I can’t appreciate, imbue and respect Ethio culture.

    I’m so glad that my in-laws gave me the opportunity to show and prove that was in fact, genuinely interested in being an active part of their family and subsuquently, the culture.

    I’m not saying that I understand everything (I don’t), or that I know the Tezeta songs (I don’t) – but what I am saying is that I try.

  31. 31 Nolawi

    C:
    Really wonderful to get comments like the above… its good to look at it from the other side….

    There are many AAs like you for that matter whites and other races… but we cant blanket all dating ethiopians

  32. 32 Delalaw

    Very Sore Subject that needs to be addressed.

    Having lived in the US for more than a decade and having dated women from few other cultures I will put in my five cents.

    While it is anyone’s right to date anyone as long as it is what they want, I see something disturbing about the Ethio women who are dating non Ethiopians. I live in the DC area where you see this occurrence which allows me to speak a bit about it. While my dear Ethiopian sitters have the right to date anyone as Eethio men have the same right, what offends me is the reason you give for doing that. Instead of being honest and admitting that you fall in love with him for whatever reason, what I witness is happening is you blame us for your dating other nationalities. The weak reasons you give such as: laziness, sexual performance, respect…. can be solved by saying that that person was not your soul mate or you two were just incompatible. If you date outside be honest and respectful enough for the guy you are dating and admit that you date him because of who he is and not because of your bad experience with your ex. Honesty always starts with one self.

  33. 33 Rebecca

    I dont think ET guys have bad sexual performance…

  34. 34 celebratelife

    Delalaw, I know you are not making a general statement.
    Rebecca, You are so right on. What is it with everyone focusing on the sexual performance? Is that all a relationship means to you? Geeeze.

  35. 35 mesarawit

    celebratelife, isnt it true that Ethiopians guys do not like to satify a woman by going doing on her?

  36. 36 celebratelife

    Mesarawit, Huh? No you did not just ask me that question! If you want to know my opinion of Abesha guys….I respect them and I don’t kiss and tell. You want to rephrase your question Pooh-bear?

  37. 37 Nolawi

    I think delelalw makes an excellent point… Sometimes its not what Ethiopian men lack…..

    it might just be a matter of privacy….

  38. 38 celebratelife

    Nolawi, I agree it’s a matter of privacy.

    You know when an Abesha woman says you’re boring, not exciting, and less than her expectation what she’s really saying is “I’m boring, I have no idea how to be exciting, and I’m less than his expectation so let me leave before he notices”.

    Any woman who wants to tell all of her relationship business is going to do it whether she’s dated an Abesha or a non Abesha. It’s called the drama momma syndrome. Not all Abeshoch who date outside of their own love that type of drama

  39. 39 Nolawi

    Thank you; celebrate life, i dont want to give you yet another compliment but i cant help it… can you please be my sister…

    one girl last weekend had the nerve to tell me that ethiopian men are not as attractive as ethio girls…

    i was like that is not true.. the problem is that the fixation on appearance in the us has ben tranfered from the face to the body… and its that most abesha guys do not work out…

    so by comparison i’ll never have biceps like lebron james… if that is what you are talking about then you can go date him…

    anyways woman are complicated for no apparent reason not just ethiopian but all woman…

  40. 40 Delalaw

    If you ask me we have forgotten the basis for a real and lasting relationship. While we should look for compatibility we tend to look for someone, for lack of a better word, who is incompatible with our values. For those of us who want educated, well to do, handsome, athletic, cool, respectable…., we should ask ourselves “am I all of these things that I desire in my mate”? If the answer is no for most of these points then we should be realistic and adjust our expectation accordingly. LAM BALWELEBET KUBET LEKEMA WILL GENERALIZE THIS! Our fathers saying “dist getamun ayetam” is

  41. 41 celebratelife

    Delalaw, your comment reminds of this comedy show I once saw….the star comedienne said, “I made a list of the kind of guy I want to marry then I looked over it to make sure I didn’t leave anything out and I realized DAMN! He’s too good for me!”

    I’m so glad we see more and more realty shows on tv cause all the made for Hollywood crap is what messed up the dating scene. There should be a required 1st date Q&A session for both men and women like…how far off are you from realty and do you plan on getting there by the end of the week?

    Nolawi, Men are complicated too and that’s what makes this world go round. Heck yeah I’d be your sis cause you’d be a cool brother to have.

  42. 42 Delalaw

    celebratelife two thumbs up from me :)

  43. 43 Temelkach

    PPLu you guys gotta read this book called, milk in my coffee by

    Eric Jerome Dickey

  44. 44 Temelkach

    Celebratelife and Nolawi and Delalaw, hats off to all of you.
    mesarawit: minew konjit, is BERNOS your only source of Kama Sutra education?

    A wise friend of mine always says, there ain’t nothing like ” You complete me.”…be it men or women, the person should be complete, comfortable in their own skin and honest with themselves before they go looking for someone to “complete” them.

    Celebrate and Nolawi, I don’t think men or women are that complicated. Both men and women have friends of the opposite sex that can understand and read them just fine without confusion. So, I think it’s the “he/she should know me well enough to know that without me telling him/her” assumptions in some relationships that creates confusion. I think ppl should be real and honest to themselves and their partner cos if he/she doesn’t know or understand something, they most probably don’t read minds also so if you want something, ask for it. If you got something to say, say it! and then you don’t have to worry about something serious built on misconceptions and then claim that he/she doesn’t understand you.

  45. 45 celebratelife

    Hahahahah, you should change your name from Temelkach to Tenagari cause girl you can tell it like it is. I hope Mesarawit is taking notes.

    Halleluyerr, to your “you complete me” statement. At this age, I only want to compliment and not complete a man. But men are complicated maybe it’s me and the type of men I’m dating but when they say, “give it to me baby tell me what you’re really feeling” they really don’t mean “be real” they just mean go easy on me and tell me what I want to hear. You have to issue a gag order for me to keep my feelings from him. I was talking with a girl friend, who’s married, and we were asking whatever happened to the aggressive manly men? When a woman comes complete she needs a boss-mate and not a servant, call me conservative.

    Btw I’m getting that book, Milk in my Coffee, I don’t believe in inter-racial relationships but I read the reviews, sounds interesting.

  46. 46 asteyayet

    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

  47. 47 hellloo

    Hello People, I am one of those that dates Black Men as opposed to Ethiopian men, there are two reasons.

    1, I want to be comfortable with my reputation in the community. If I decide to sleep with a guy after 2 dates, I will not have to worry about my reputation!

    2, Black men treat me better than abesha, they see that I am special, I prefer that.

  48. 48 tata

    Mimi—Maybe habesha female’s are not free when they sleep with habesha men. I have dated a habesha female that used to date African-American.. After we broke up, I became friend with her x-boy friend. You will be amazed what she was doing in bed the I was not getting.

  49. 49 Nolawi

    ha haha hahhah hahahh ahahah ahahha

    lol man Tata- lol… ha hahahaha!

    Meglecha belegna

  50. 50 TaTa

    Nolawi I support you they are so complicated let me tell you bro you can’t change them u just have to deal with them and accept by saying EHSEE

  51. 51 celebratelife

    Hellloo, I’m there with you I date an AA man myself. But come on let’s be fare, “black men treat me better than abesha, they see that I am special, I prefer that.” The best treatment I ever got was from an Abesha guy. Don’t give these guys a reason to dump on us.

    You know what, some of my AA male friends will dog a woman so quick it would make your head spin. If you want to save your reputation date the man you want and tell him what you need.

  52. 52 Nolawi

    ha haahah

    Celebrate min largish, aqfe lesamish woy!

    you see the first comment from Zero, i think it applies to hellloo!

    helloo; you see the fact that a girl is a slut doesnt really change if no abesha knows about it… but I give you props for telling us the reason…

  53. 53 asteyayet

    Adesha wendoch …. is there something wrong with sleeping with a guy on the second date ? whats up with the “slut” thing , what about the guy … ere sewoch it takes two to tango eko

  54. 54 CheLeMa

    I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digga….I personally have no issues with our habesha ChikoCH dating AA men. What I have a problem with is the lame ass excusses they give you for dating an AA men. I am still struggling with the saying, “AA men treat their women better than habesha WonDoCH” YEAH RIGHT… I am a hard core habesha-chick-loving-nigga. If a woman gets her shit together, and challenges me to a point where I become intimidated by her, then she is a Goddess to me. I treat her well no matter what. But if she is the Wushi-Washi-AnGeT-DeFI type ignorant chick, then she deserves none of my time and my special treatment. Ladies, if you want to be treated right, you got to earn it. Relationship is a two way street, it takes a lot of compromise and both would have to be sensitive to each others feelings. Date whoever you want to date, but do not catagorize. I am HABESHA and by no means I am no less than any other men in the planet. I got my own qualities and strength, we’re not all the same and we can not be, we’re just different. Some for the good and some for the bad. Ladies, whatever you do, just make sure you don’t find yourselves wondering at the age of 30 wheather or not you’ve made a mistake in the past by doubting Ethiopian men. There are plenty of us who are down to earth and still can rock your “KemiS” so STOP WITH THE STEREOTYPING and give the next habesha man the chance. They deserve it.

  55. 55 celebratelife

    Nolawi, We may disagree on somethings but we both agree that there is no reason to put Abesha guys down without caue. That’s just out right childish and ignoranamo. xoxo to you too.

    Asteyayet, Don’t let anyone dictate to you what is right or wrong in the area of dating. You should do what you want, when you want with whomever you want as long as you live to tell the story.

  56. 56 dubz

    I live in D.C.—I’m an American, born of people who were imported as slaves, either directly from Africa or the Caribbean—otherwise referred to as African-American. I don’t really identify much with the term “AA”, because I wouldn’t even begin to know what tribe or place to identify myself in Africa. Instead, it is those from Ethiopia, Ghana, Nigeria, Somalia, etc that I consider TRUE African-Americans. Strangely, I’ve heard quite a few Ethiopians refer to “Africans” and they are usually speaking of those from Nigeria, Ghana etc.

    Last time I checked, Ethiopia is a country that exists WITHIN the continent of Africa! In fact, historically Ethiopia encompassed a much larger part of Africa than it does today. How can we begin to improve the condition of the black diaspora in this white supremcist world order if AFRICANS aren’t even willing to identify themselves as Africans?!?!

    I’ve dated an Ethiopian woman for quite some time and let me tell you—it is not an easy road! Largely because, despite her being an open-minded, loving human being, she’s is a victim of cultural brain-washing that has told her (and many other Ethiopians apparently) that they are better than other people—especially “black Americans”. These are the same people who have left their grand country (also one of the poorest in the world) to come to America and take advantage the opportunies that African-Americans have paved the way for with our blood and our struggle.

    So in many ways, dating an Ethiopian woman is just like dating a white girl, only more difficult because you really don’t know what you’re dealing with sometimes. With a white girl, she may just be experimenting for the image (especially sexual) of A-A men, or she may truly love you. She still, however, is white and subject to a life full of brainwashing—you expect difficulties at some point. But if you’re as black as me, from one of the poorest countries in the world–what would possess you to think you are superior to anyone else?

    Culture is culture and love is love. Obviously, dating within you’re culture might make things a little easier for some people. At the same time dating outside of your culture, you may learn more about the world and about yourself. In the end I say this—Ethio women; don’t come to me as an African-American man just to fulfill your sexual fantasies, hide from your culture and be a “ho” behaving in ways that you wouldn’t be if you were with an Ethiopian man. Also, don’t date me because you think it’ll be an easier road and you’re too lazy and spoiled to live up to your cultural expectations as a woman. (Ask ANY man in ANY culture—we all want the same thing! Why do you think there are so many divorces here?) To Ethio men: Don’t hate me or your fellow countrywoman because you didn’t meet her before I did, or because she chose to date outside of her culture. I’ve gotten so many hateful stares and even some encounters with Ethio men who were offended by my woman’s choice. When you step into a culture as strong and pervasive as America, what else would you expect? There all plenty of women in America from every culture in the world: black, white, asian, latina, indian—-take your pick. But if only an Ethiopian woman will suit your fancy, there are plenty of Ethiopian women in…… Ethiopia. No one forced you on a boat and dragged or you or your women to America.

    Culture is culture–nuture it, preserve it, share it. However, love knows no boundaries! As Lenny Kravitz would say: “Let Love Rule”

    Peace

    dubz

  57. 57 Wudnesh

    Dubz

    points taken!

  58. 58 Nolawi

    Dubz, you say love is love and culture is culture… and you say ethio men are hatefull and ethio ladies think they are better than non-ethios… ok fine.. nicely put…

    but the fact of the matter is …since we are generalyzing… AA men are interested in Ethio-ladies only because they want that trophy wife… on that they could wrap around their arms and show off to other aa men…

    you know what they say… aa woman say there is lack of a good aa men… and they few there are … want that perfectly symmetrical black woman… aa men are not interested in ethio culture…. they are interested in getting in to the pants.. they are players… they are husslers … among many other insecurities you bring to the table… including that of being on the downlow… but who knows you sound like a decent person who maybe one of the few brother who actually love for loves sake…

  59. 59 toothpick

    Nolawi,
    You must get a kick out of spiralling into idiocy.

  60. 60 Nolawi

    lets be honest here… if we are generalyzing… you gotta tell it like it is dont you think… :) i mean the guy raised some good points but lets not deny the fact.. that some are interested in the trophy… aydel ende?

  61. 61 mekonen

    I am with Nolawi on this! AA men are generally interested in having a beautiful girl as opposed to being interested in our culture.

    I have seen white men or white woman who are married or dating Ethiopians that are very much versed with our culture in comparison to the AA males. My brother is married to a Latina from Guatemala and if you ask both it seems that both are very much trying to learn about each others culture.

    I suggest if we have to date outside of our culture we make sure that the significant other is interested in learning our culture tradition in hopes of trying to understand us better.

    Now that I don’t think is idiocy!

  62. 62 dubz

    Wow Nolawi and Mekonen—-I crown you both the “Generals of Generalizations —This is the kind of cultural arrogance I’m talking about. What makes you think an Ethiopian woman is so worthy of being a “trophy” wife? I’ve dated plenty of beautiful girls from many cultures. However, beauty is only skin deep–and a lot of the stuck up attitudes I see in Ethiopian women (and many others) make them very ugly!

    But as far as wanting a beautiful woman for a wife—uhhhh…what man doesn’t?
    And in America, if we are speaking of “trophies”, you can’t get much better than a blonde-haired blue-eyed white woman.

    Saying that AA men don’t care about culture is ridiculous. In fact recently, I was the one informing my significant other about the current Ethiopian clash with Somali Islamists.

    As I’ve before, you also have to be willing to SHARE your culture with your mate—beyond injera, tibbs and doro wat. That’s another interesting thing I’ve noticed. Many Ethiopian woman seem to go out of their way to teach or share certain things if they are dating someone white, but seem content to just roll along with an AA man. Perhaps this is because they know that their parents will more readily accept a white man as opposed to a “black American”.

    And vice versa, you have to be willing to LEARN your mates culture as well. Why should I care so much about injera if she doesn’t know how to cook a pot of collard greens? It would be easy to think my culture is superior, since after all you are here in THIS country, as opposed to the one you are so proud of. It’s difficult to respect someone else’s culture if you already know that they look down on yours….

    peace

  63. 63 Wudnesh

    Dubz
    I was with you until you said

    And in America, if we are speaking of “trophies”, you can’t get much better than a blonde-haired blue-eyed white woman.
    PLEASE! Maybe for white ppl!
    I don’t believe anyone’s culture is superior. Superiority is only in the minds of ignorant people. I have learned that people, whether black or white, are limited by what they know….and held back by what they fear.
    I could never date outside my culture…not because I think Ethiopian men are superior, but because I find everything I want and more in an Ethiopian man and thus don’t see the need to go elsewhere. And if we are talking about looks, FOR ME, no other comes even closer to an Ethio bro. Besides, it’s just natural that I feel safer with Ethios(*limited by what I know)…not to mention the horrific stories I have heard about what happened to Ethio girls who decided to leave their A-A boyfriends to marry Ethiopians (*Fear).

  64. 64 Uncle B

    This is probably a sensitive subject to Ethiopian WONDOCH! Personaly is have no problems if a girl choses to be whoever she wants to be with. I have dated from whitegirls, african-american females and to ofcourse my Ethio ladies. They all differnt, different personalities, needs, likes and dislikes from the bedroom to out there in the real world. ZERO; those are some harsh words to say to an Ethiopian woman dating an african american. This ain’t nothing about stereotype either. Look SETO CHACHIN! if he is treatin’ you right, like a queen or whatever, stick with him. Just because he is an African American and you’re thinking he is the guy for you, good luck to ya! I’m sure y’all know or heard about a Habesha girl who’s face is being circulated around the internet as we speak, when apparently an “African-American” guy she is dating taped an entire episode of sexual encounter (them two having sex)on the internet (thru a webcam)without her knowledge,and then he went ahead and stated on a segment with the video clip that she was married. He wrote on there “..a playa got played” to point out that he was actually falling for her. This dude is recorded a few more sexual episodes with a few other girls he took home and posted is on the internet. BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY LADIES!! There are some scumbags out there.

    The Uncle!

  65. 65 bgFelasfit

    dubz,
    interesting points! I agree with you several of your points- esp bout cultural brainwashing: stereotypes/superiority complexes in any part of a population just plain suck (nolawi & others…doesn’t this remind u of the naz school arenguade termusoch ina snobbery?? :) )
    However…this kind of brainwashing is not unique to Ethiopia or Ethiopians- the little tape that plays at the back of our heads tends to be universal… from what you were saying, and the way you were saying things, it seems more applicable to ur stance than you seem to notice!
    Take note & look @ some of the statements you made: consider the way they exude images of ‘Africa/Ethiopia’ as a whole. My personal frustration/experience with “many” African-Americans is that they have almost no, or very, very limited interest in Africa’s troubles and realities (there’re important commonalities on the problems facing 54+ countries). Many AAs are content to accept the image of poverty, sickness and struggle for what the west shows it to be. Mainly choosing to completely dissociate themselves from billions of blacks struggling against/under the similarly self-interested oppressive white supremacist systems.
    This is not a rhetorical question dubz: can you really claim to be enlightened about the roots of the problems facing many different African countries (do a majority of your AA ppl know even how many/what countries exist in Africa? or the difference between lesotho and mauritania?/ namibia and zambia?) how is it that you simply point to great poverty within ethiopia and aloofly show off the glitz and glam of America, to which many Ethiopians immigrate in search of better life prospects ?? How can you claim superiority as an AA who’s put blood and struggle into America, when America is as exploitative of its own “American” blacks as it is of Africa through neo-colonialism?

    Here’s a refresher of what u said:

    - left their grand country (also one of the poorest in the world) to come to America and take advantage the opportunies that African-Americans have paved the way for with our blood and our struggle.
    - you’re as black as me, from one of the poorest countries in the world–what would possess you to think you are superior to anyone else?
    - a culture as strong and pervasive as America
    - No one forced you on a boat
    - It would be easy to think my culture is superior, since after all you are here in THIS country

    And

    Their parents will more readily accept a white man as opposed to a “black American”

    this comes down to what wudenesh said about what people know/fear

    One thing though about your accusation that ethiopian’s call others ‘Africans’: I agree with you on this, it’s smt we all really need to re-examine cos it was smth imposed by the self-interested West thou it’s complicated:

    The ‘Ethiopian’-consciousness was isolated by the hills and valleys of the East African Rift valley and interactions outside of ‘Abyssinian’ borders very limited for several hundred years. There is also a common European colonial experience that many Ethiopians cannot fully relate with. The

    “white supremacist world”

    with the western/white hand’s firm grip results from colonialism (still around now…just in a different (neo) form) [and slavery (some claim this is also still around..just in another form)]
    Food for thought:
    ~~ the myths about ‘Tutsi – superior light-skinned “ethiopian migrants” as cockroaches to be exterminate by the Rwandan genocide
    ~~ the many civilizations of Africa such as axum, lalibela, zimbwabe etc.. that the white man wanted to claim are its own doing (feats were claimed to be achieved by mythical black caucasians/angles/asians etc)
    ~~ The incidence of the Axumite/Egypt civilizations is disputed- some claim sabeans from yemen/foreign non-Africans/blacks are responsible, while others claim it stems from
    inside of Africa,
    ~~ Ethiopias entry into many int’l org. as an independent state was so unique for African/black ‘tribal‘ beings, the west had to come up with an excuse/some other myth/justification…since we’re black after all

  66. 66 dubz

    Wudnesh–A blonde/blue-eyed woman is FAR from what I would consider any kind of trophy. I’m only speaking from the history of American culture, which has adopted and promoted a white standard of beauty. If you’d asked me years ago who I thought I would be dating or engaged to, my ideal would be an AA woman. Obviously, dating within one’s culture is the norm. However, a random meeting between myself and an Ethiopian woman blossomed into a great love. Am I to reject God’s gift of “love” for a lesser concern such as culture?

    Uncle B–some people are devious. However, AA men don’t hold this exclusively. If the woman you speak of was indeed married and cheating on her husband…well, she got everything she deserved. I’m sure the internet video will provide great entertainment for her husband.

    bgFelasit—great food for thought!! I’m not claming that my culture is superior. Faced with defending my culture against someone else’s notion of cultural superiority, I said “it would be EASY TO THINK my culture is superior.” Of course I don’t believe this.

    I can’t not argue that many AA are not keen on the probelems facing the 54+ countries in Africa. And I’m sure you know that in American schools, you’d be lucky to be taught the truth about African-American history, not to mention African history. We’ve been systematically robbed of any connection to Africa–so why would we care? Do most Ethiopians know the IN DEPTH history of African-Americans in all of these 50 United States? Don’t forget that where you land in America when you come here is just one small place. If the majority of Ethiopians end up in D.C., Boston or California—there’s many different experiences—47 other states to consider–I didn’t grow up in D.C., so many things culturally are different among the black population here. Indeed, there is something reminiscent of tribalism, depending on what part of America you’re from.

    Yes, colonialism would have us believe that the early civilizations of Ethiopia, Egypt, Ife, Benin, Ghana, Sudan, Zimbabwe were created by a “mythical white man” and would even go so far as to say “whites with black skins” in order to justify their reasoning. Obviously, we know this to false.
    Food for thought: “To understand fully any aspect of Afro-American life, one must realize that the black American is not without a cultural past, though he was many generations removed from it before his achievements in American literature and art commanded any appreciable attention”—(John G. Jackson, African Civlizations)

    I wish that all Americans, especially black, were educated along these lines, but we all know the reasons
    why this information isn’t made readily available. I’m just saying, even though you come to this country, your understanding of the entirety of American and African-American culture is just as deficient as ours about Africa. However, there are many like myself who have taken the intiative to learn…so let us all stop generalizing each other!

    one love

  67. 67 C

    The main point that (I think) Dubz is trying to make is that you can’t generalize a whole group of people. Just like Ethiopians don’t represent the whole of Africa, nor do a handful of African-Americans represent all of us.

    My personal frustration/experience with “many” African-Americans is that they have almost no, or very, very limited interest in Africa’s troubles and realities (there’re important commonalities on the problems facing 54+ countries).

    I find this to be true of many Africans as well. Even many of the Ethiopians that I encounter on a daily basis. Sure they could tell you about the Battle of Adwa, but could they tell you anything about the political climate now? Do they donate their time and money to Ethio causes? Not many of them.

    do a majority of your AA ppl know even how many/what countries exist in Africa? or the difference between lesotho and mauritania?/ namibia and zambia?

    This does not validate anyone’s cultural awareness. I bet if I gave a room full of Ethio’s from the diaspora and a group of their African-American peers, they’d probpbab do just about as well as each other in labeling a map of Africa. But really, Ithink that’s neither here nor there. The point of the whole matter is that Africa struggles no matter what, and that is a problem.

    Again for me, to make sweeping generalizations about people and to assume that a whole group of people are only after one thing plays into all kinds of racial stereotypes and I hate to get all cliche but united we stand, divided we fall.

  68. 68 bgFelasfit

    That’s exactly where I was hoping you’d go…
    I cant answer for the ‘superiority complex’ within Ethiopian communities (aside from my foods for thought…implying a western construction of ethio identity in relation to the outside world. But also… the kibre negist/ethio “lion of judah” monarchy set up a specialness of Ethiopians even before colonialism – seeking validation within the empire and that’s still a part of the national identity eps cos there is a sigfcnt EthioOrthodox population).
    Many Ethio/EthioAmericans may be buying into the predominant image of AAs in the same way that AAs may be buying into the stereotypes about Africans.
    It goes back to what you were saying about it being a two way road
    It’s sooo much easier for black americans and ethioA to see each other as different i.e. separate and therefore one more superior than the other than to study the similarites especially when the blatant question of benefits would find an intuitive answer to seek association elsewhere, just not with eachother: I think both are really guilty of the same things!! Its easier cos of the pop culture, history books, history education>

    information isn’t made readily available

    but this disconnect reinforces the machinery of western/euro-centric dominance Shouldn’t there be attempts at supporting/learning bout eachother?

    In the case of ethios claiming ‘uniqueness’ and shying away from the rest of Africa, I wanna tell ethiopians to check again!!! Most of the problems Ethiopia has had — are very similar to the rest of Africa (despoitic communist ruler, economic relapse, “psedo-democracy of personal riches/musina”, export economy, natural disasters, clash of tradition vs. modernization, national identity crisis etc. even the monarchy is not unique- there are kingsstill in power/were grand empires before in other African states!). The fact that Ethio was ‘not colonized’? uh…how does that benefit ethio now with all the poli/econ complications? The beliefs of ‘superiority’ only work as counter-productive cushioning devices in the middle of a cactus farm (a superficial cushion since it will be torn apart by thorns).

    Loving Ophrah’s promise in SA and the ethiopian filmaker who explores African slavery (chelema help me out here…)

  69. 69 celebratelife

    Dubz,

    As I read your comments I was wondering why do you even bother dating an Ethiopian with your negative attitude towards us? I’m surprised she would allow you to use such harsh words towards her people.

    In case you didn’t know, most AA men hit on us just to say I’ve been with an Ethio chick and to add a notch to their belt (it’s called bragging rights). Maybe your intentions are different but then maybe not.

    “In the end I say this—Ethio women; don’t come to me as an African-American man just to fulfill your sexual fantasies, hide from your culture and be a “ho” behaving in ways that you wouldn’t be if you were with an Ethiopian man.” Ahahah ahhah ahahahah ahahahahahahaha aha ahahahhah oh my god I think I’m gonna die. Are you serious? I’m gonna say it like this (my personal view) you could never fantasize, I mean never, not even if you were reincarnated to ever be as good as an Ethiopian man. You better deflate that ego of yours! Don’t even try to go there brother. Ethiopian men are the best thing God ever created.

    You’re ending your comment with trying to say – go back to where you come from. Please stop it before you end up with an HBO comedy special of your own.

  70. 70 C

    In case you didn’t know, most AA men hit on us just to say I’ve been with an Ethio chick and to add a notch to their belt (it’s called bragging rights). Maybe your intentions are different but then maybe not.

    Do you not see the inherent flaw in a statement like this? As to say that Ethio women are to be more revered than other woman? And again, with a sweeping generalization that an AA man couldn’t possibly be just attracted to a woman or interested in knowing who she is (culture included). This is dangerous.

    I’m not defending much of what Dubz has stated, but he has made a couple of very valid points.

  71. 71 Nolawi

    C, i think i understand what you mean my “flaw” I think celeb was trying to say that any different type of a person could be a notch… I had one converstaion once with a bunch of ethio guys in which one claimed that he had been with an indian woman and a japanese woman… and he was proud of it… in the same manner… and ethiopian woman is a conquest of sorts for any man… not that an ethio woman is better or a bigger conquest its just a different one…

  72. 72 Wudnesh

    Dubz
    Just a few things to add. I also refer to other Africans as ‘Africans’ when I speak with Ethios. But that’s not because I don’t consider myself one…NO. In fact, I consider myself from the origins of mankind- Ethiopia, Africa…and proud of it. But it’s just a short-cut (one word key)that I know other ethios understand refers to other fellow west Africans…for eg. we don’t say ‘african’ when we talk about a Somalian or a Sudanese, though they r non-Ethios. So, think of it as just a part of language…a way of communicating. Poorest? keep thinking. good! at least would keep all those eyes off Ethiopia until we go back after getting all we can from America, and utilize our rich natural resources by ourselves(just winding u up :) )
    u said

    It would be easy to think my culture is superior, since after all you are here in THIS country, as opposed to the one you are so proud of.
    How is that? How many Ethios ,do you know, who have come to THIS country to experience a better culture? I’m sure NONE. and whose culture anyway…? American Indians’?..or the Irish Americans’..? or..African Americans’..? or…? I guess Celebratelife is right, u r close to saying ‘go back to where u come from’…hopefully, not. But if so, we say (first in first out)FIFO!

  73. 73 really

    Dubz,

    You said:-

    When you step into a culture as strong and pervasive as America, what else would you expect?

    Ditto for Ethiopia and everything Ethiopian. Like they say, if you don’t like it, learn to love it! Otherwise, you are barking the wrong tree. Like you ponited out, there are plenty women in this great USA, then WTF are you doing in this community of ours or on this blog for that matter?

  74. 74 Wudnesh

    really
    huh! minew? let the brother enjoy this blog…that’s not Ethiopian! Welcoming everybody is part of our culture.

  75. 75 really

    Wudnesh, that is true, sorry! I just want Dubz to understand what he is saying…

  76. 76 dubz

    bgFelasfit>–”but this disconnect reinforces the machinery of western/euro-centric dominance Shouldn’t there be attempts at supporting/learning bout eachother?”

    YES, YES, YES! This is exactly what the point of this converation. I’ve found your comments most enlightening, inspiring and educational.

    As an African-American who is a student of history, proud of my culture and my African origins, I can look at Ethiopian culture and be very proud of it for what it means to me as a black man and to black people, regardless of where I am on this earth. I can be proud Ethiopia’s strong stand against European colonization. I recognize Ethiopia’s contribution to civliztion. I can revel in the biblical passages that mention Ethiopia, in the face of white revisionist history that would have us believe that black people have no place of importance in the Bible.

    Wudnesh—since I do recognize Ethiopia as the mother of civiliztion and I do indeed exist as a black man or “burnt face” on the face of this earth, I feel comfortable claiming some part of that inheritance.

    Really–Really??? Wasn’t one of the main complaints in this thread is that African-Americans who date Ethiopians don’t bother to learn about the culture? In an attempt to do just that, I stumbled across this thread and unfortuantely found my people (thus myself) villanized and felt compelled to address it. Welcome to America–a free country. Yes, American culture is pervasive and very influential–hence all the hoopla around the world about cultural imperialism. I’ve even seen Ethiopian rappers for God’s sake! As soon as we start rockin’ gabi’s—holla back!

    Celebratelife—in case YOU didn’t know, every woman that a man sleeps with (if he’s in that immature stage) is a notch on the belt. Vaginas, breasts, etc. tend to provide the same pleasure for men, regardless of the culture it’s wrapped in. Sorry to break that news to you. My attitude toward Ethiopians is colored by what I perceive their attitude towards me and my people. This debate wouldn’t even be flourishing, if we all didn’t recognize some disconnect between our two cultures—if we hadn’t experienced first-hand some negative aspects/attitudes of each. I don’t believe what I’ve said is particularly harsh, and I’m sorry if you were offended. But I am able to speak on such things precisely because I’ve probably more of an inside look at Ethiopian culture than most African-Americans.
    My comments about Ethiopian women I would just as easily level at Asians, Whites, Latinas—anyone who might date one of MY people for the wrong, sterootypical reasons. And no, I’m not saying, “go back home”. I’m saying, there’s a place full of Ethiopian women, where you won’t have to compete with another culture for their attention, if that’s what the problem is. Go, find a wife, bring her back to America if you wish. Just don’t be mad at me or your country-woman if we happen to have found love in each other–the greatest of God’s gifts. If I believed in reincarnation, I would want to be placed on this earth in in the same shell that I reside in now—a strong, educated, black man in America. Holla! As for my HBO comedy special, Chris Rock has already been there done that. Unfortunately, now that he has filed for divorce from his Ethiopian wife, it looks like he prefers to be “single and lonely”. Sh*t happens!

    peace

  77. 77 bgFelasfit

    Wudenesh….
    u raised such great points! and I agree with ya, it’s sorta a language thing…but honest plain truth: u think it’s just words for most Ethiopians? I think there are feelings and attitudes involved amongst many Ethiopians about other Africans …after all, they say language is the carrier of culture. right?
    ….The feeling of abesha-unique is our great pride & it is a wonderful aspect of our culture….I think though, it would betam help us to realize, truly and surely, we’re not that unique amongst other Africans. (mind you all we Africans are soo richly diverse and unique to begin with! each country is unique and some countries share some parts of their culture. Why would ethio be betam different beyond that? )
    dubz….
    glad you think so! discussing this with an AA that actually cares was very encouraging!! Hope you come back for more discussions at bernos :) And I’ll educate myself more about African American history for sure

  78. 78 Mamitu

    I see that both Ethiopian culture and American culture have their strengths and weaknesses(IMO, but when it comes to marriage, commitment and family I think Ethiopian culture beats the AA culture like a drum.

  79. 79 dubz

    Mamitu—there’s no way I could argue with you on that one. But a look through our history in the USA might provide some of the reasons why. I come from a nucleus family (mother and father still together 30+ years, so it’s very important to me. But I never hesitate to tell people that I’ve learned to value the concept of family SO MUCH more from dating an Ethiopian woman! It used to get on my nerves when they called each other 20 times a day, but now I just roll with it.

    Yo, Wudnesh—word up and ’nuff respect! Will definitely continue to educate myself as well.

    one love

  80. 80 USASPCF

    I personally don’t really care if habesha female is dating Black American or the Congo Chimpanzi cos we got more than enough habesha girls, with out paying for. Black Americans do anything to laydown with any light skin female, in fact we Ethiopian Male we don’t do that cos we were raised with not only light skin females but also with dimonds of the Universe whom are our most Habesha gulz, but trust me, no habesha gurlz will go to date a black unless she is ignored by the habesha society or unless she have bad experiance with dating habesha male…..Some times if they don’t look like habesha I am sure no habesha guyz will talk to them including ma self, as we all know some habesha gurlz have Nigerian face so does it matter if they join their oregional race no matter what who they call them selves and regardless of who they call them selves…look does matter for habesha male to date a female.

  81. 81 HUH?

    Some times if they don’t look like habesha I am sure no habesha guyz will talk to them including ma self, as we all know some habesha gurlz have Nigerian face so does it matter if they join their oregional race no matter what who they call them selves and regardless of who they call them selves…look does matter for habesha male to date a female.

    HUH?

  82. 82 embaqom

    This is a very interesting topic. Ethio women, does strike you as odd that African American men are more interested in exotic women such as yourselves, then in their own African American women? Furthermore, what is your opinion about the fact that 70% of AA children are born outside of holy matrimony? Most AA children are raised in one-parent households, some who might have been the result of one stands.
    How many Ethio men abandon their Ethio women for white women, Latinas, African American women, etc?
    The point is that appearances can be very deceiving. Some men are great actors and are good at pretending. Beware!!

  83. 83 uhh?
  84. 84 kkkkkkkkkkk

    ^^^^ douche bags lol

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