I am sitting by the banks of the James River in Richmond, VA next to a friend who is sunbathing in her bikini on a beautiful sunny Friday afternoon. The sun is playing hide and seek with us drifting in and out of scattered clouds on the otherwise striking blue sky. As I listen to the soothing sounds of the river flowing continuously and stare into the clear water which forms white foams every time it hits the huge domes of rocks and finds a way around to get past them or above them, I think about my life and the many turns and twists it has taken and it will take.
I think about my travels, my hopes, dreams, aspirations, disappointments and heartbreaks. I think about the tumultuous year I have had with my sunbathing friend. The friend I am referring to is a woman I have dated on and off for the past year. We come from two completely different backgrounds and parts of the world and the way our personalities clash reminds me of a volcanic eruption.
I have come to the conclusion that relationships are basically a myth. May be I am too lazy to work on them or too hedonistic to bear the pains of boredom and miscommunication brought about in the absence of the initial surge of electricity you feel when you see, meet and fall in love with a beautiful woman. From where I am sitting my friend’s beauty has faded, her exciting appeal is gone. All that remains and is visible is the constant arguments and fights we have endured for the last leg of our relationship.
I definitely know we have come to the end of the road. We have broken up and made up so many times, my friends have stopped listening to what I have to say in regards to this woman. I have made a liar out of myself. I have had my character and judgment put into question. I am treated like a recovering addict. Always relapsing and falling off the wagon. Trying to get that one last high before packing the bags and heading back to the treatment center; to get cleaned up one more time.
I have the determination of a samurai and the courage of a lion, I say to myself. I am done with this. I need to move on. I glance over to where my friend is laying on a towel drenched in the sun and sleeping peacefully. I get up to take a walk and she wakes up. I need to take a walk, I say. Wait, I am coming with you. I try to convince her that this walk I need to take by myself, but she insists our time is precious and she wants to walk with me. I want to yell and say, can’t you see that I need to be by myself for a second woman? But instead, I cave in and we hold hands and start walking the path by the James that is covered with tree shades from both sides.
Later that evening, it’s her turn to leave and hang out with her friends. I am relieved that she is leaving. I will finally have the solitude I so much desired, I think. We agree to meet later on at night so we can go out. Midnight rolls around and she is no show. I call her up furious because she ruined my night. She doesn’t care. She says I am making a big deal out of it and I get angry whenever she goes out and has fun with her friends. I tell her it is her not keeping her word that makes me angry, not her hanging out with her friends, but she insists it is jealousy. Another evening filled with miscommunication. We argue fiercely when we see each other later on.
The next day, I feel like a veteran warrior. I am completely drained from the battle the night before. This time it is over for sure, I say to myself. What more do you need? A kick in the balls? You have to move on and you have to let her be. I compose a letter and read it to her explaining why we need to end it. She agrees and we start returning items to each other that we had left at one another’s places.
I know it is for sure this time because I don’t feel that pang in my heart. I feel perfectly fine. Tears don’t well up in my eyes. I can actually see clearly and feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel like a caged lion that has just been set free after spending an eternity in captivity. I am sure she feels the same. I hope she feels like the beautiful birds I saw a couple of days ago at the James flying around without a care in the world. I can see the flowers, smell mother earth and frolic in the sun.
I get into a philosophical debate with myself. Society needs to rewrite the rules of a relationship between a man and a woman, I say. And then I question myself, is it the rules of the relationship that is to blame or the feelings of love? If you didn’t feel would you want to make her a possession and go mad with rage every time the rules are broken?
My brain hasn’t recovered to ponder such deep thoughts. I give up. I am just happy to be free and alive. I am sitting in outside at a café in Adams Morgan now exchanging glances with a beautiful Ethiopian woman who keeps staring at me every time she thinks I am not looking. I look up. I catch her eye and we both smile.
Let the games begin!!!!!!
Published by May 18th, 2006 in Dating, Social and Thoughts.
Despite, the large font, it was poetic.
keep posting.
This is more a cry for help.I suggest counselling will help if the person decides to take up on it.Well to my understanding,Ethiopians are furious in the idea of counselling but it’s very obvious the person needs it. I love the personal story.I love the fact the individual in the story desire to share his experience with everyone. I wish more people are daring and open with their deep personal lives. I wish him the best and good luck.
Thanks man, you had me in stiches. Dawit, I hope you find the ONE one of these days, until then have fun living your life.
woy gud… let the games begin indeed.. nice story… i do like the personal posts mself
nice story Dawit. Enjoyed readin’it.hope u will find the one soon. good luck!
I know Dawit personally, and I know for a fact he is an excellent writer. I give him big kudos for sharing this personal story. I feel it shows commendable courage to be this honest because most people wouldn’t. Keep it up babe, you will only get better.
Hi
It took a lot of courage for an Ethiopian girl (if you are)to admit her sexual preference. Anyway, I guess that love is love. Enjoy it until it lasts, like everything else it will fade, only the memory remains.
Dawit
I am sorry I think that I have confused things.
Myself I love and I adore women. Love is terrible flagellation, I think that it is the most painful experience in our lives. But as I said it also fades.
Love them and leave them is the safest way. A famous French General said soemting like this ” When love gets serious, run like hell”.
good luck.
betam arif article… i reread a couple of times…. thanks for sharing…
Maybe she never really loved you. But as the great general advised when love is in the air run like a hare.
Dawit..
very nice story … totally understand what you have gon through.. but it’s for the best… it’s not for you what’s yours will come in a diffrent way . But you have to open up for someone who is coming to your life and it will be diffrent.. pray.. belive in god .. he will give you the best you never dreamed … some one you never excpect will come in to your life soon.. good love..
Great read!
SO whatever happened, is there a part two or something… great read though..
Hmm it appears like your website ate my first comment (it
was extremely long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up
what I had written and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog.
I as well am an aspiring blog writer but I’m still new to the whole thing.
Do you have any tips and hints for novice blog writers?
I’d definitely appreciate it.
@relationship tips: the only advise I have for you is to keep writing and write about what appeals to you. If you don’t know the subject matter try to get to know as much as you can about it. Remember, you are painting a picture with words. You want your reader to escape into your world. Like everything else, you have to keep doing it to be good at it. I hope that helps.
Dawit
Excellent blog here! Also your web site loads up fast! What web host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my site loaded up as quickly as yours lol
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